Chapter 43: Chapter 43

"Sadeeq I want to hold the baby," Ihsan said with a baby voice, she had been begging Marwa to let her hold the child but she said no, that she's not strong enough and her hands won't be able to hold the baby.

He smiled at Marwa and came forwards her, "May I?" He asked before she nodded her head and handed him the baby. He sat down beside Ihsan that was sitting upright with her back supported by the bed head.

"You'll hold it, but in my hands, Vardah." He was looking at her intently, as if today was the first time he had ever seen her smiled or even spoke. She looked like a fairly.

"I have no other choice." She slurred and pouted her lips before Sadeeq placed down the baby on her already curved hands and held her hands together with the baby.

She lifted her pinky and touched the baby's cheeks, and it turned and slightly opened its eyes. She gushed, lovingly looking at Sadeeq that had his eyes fixed on her. They had forgotten they're not the only ones in the room, and that the baby was not even theirs to start with. She was so enthralled that she wanted nothing but for this baby to be given to her as a gift. For eternity. Because she was sure she would be a peng mother.

After Marwa and her husband had left, she sat down fascinated on the bed, looking into space and smiling widely. She could still feel the soft and wobble skin of the baby on her hands. And when she brought the baby to her chest, that soft, innocent and peaceful heartbeat still rhythm in her chest.

He went down to the hallways to collect the order he made for dinner and when he was back, she was in a complete good mood, as if she was not the one that hated hin hours ago. Could it be Noor's revelation that changed her mind? If that's it, he would forever be indebted to Noor. For she did not only saved his marriage, but together with his life altogether.

She turned and looked at him when he entered and placed the packs on the nightstand. "Sadeeq I have something I need to tell my diary, and you don't know where I usually keep it right? You would've brought it for me. And even if I were to direct you, it's just too complicated, you won't get it." And her voice sounded sad at last, she looked like a poet hungry of a pen and paper, whenever an emotional breakdown occurs.

He walked towards her, sat beside her and took her left hand in his. He waited for her to revolt but she didn't and that calmed him down. "You know you can always talk to me right? Allow me to be your confidante please, and I'll take your secrets to my grave." He smiled widely at her, and what she did next took him off guard.

She heaved a sigh and placed her head on his shoulder, clutching more onto their entwined hands. "Sadeeq, I have alot of things on my mind, which one should I start telling you first? But wait, can I trust you?" She looked up slightly and he placed back her head on his shoulder and patted it slowly.

"Trust me with your soul and heart, Vardah. You'll be safe with me. Start with the bad ones and we'll both be happy at the end." He could feel her smile through the skin pores of his shoulder, and he was afraid of what would be of them at the end of today.

"I had a huge crush on him, it almost turned to love, and I foolishly turned deaf ear to the fact that I'm married. Sadeeq I'm such a useless person right? Admiring another man while I'm still married, I feel so dirty of myself, I feel like Allah will not forgive me. My sin is dirty, I'm dirty.

What if subhanallah, we got led on by the shaidan and something happened? We shouldn't sleep together for it to be hideous you know? He could hold my hands, touch my cheeks or even kissed me, and Subhanallah, I would be even dirtier." Her voice had turned sour and tears had already nade their ways out of her cheeks. She felt dirty, she really did.

He lifted her up from his shoulder and looked into her eyes, intently. He can admit, her first words were the most painful words he had ever heard in his life, but how she felt regretful at the end made him the happiest man to ever live on earth. She was innocently looking at him with tears rolling down in drops. She looked regretful.

"Ihsan..." he had to sound serious. "There is no sin in the world that Allah doesn't forgive. He's the merciful, remember. He asked us to ask for his forgiveness and he will forgive our sins no matter how large they are. And it's not your fault completely, I played a role myself, I shouldn't have asked us not to voice us we're married to anyone, it would've prevented all this. And I've forgiven you before you ask, let's ask for Allah's forgiveness." And he hugged her, not minding about the cannula in her hand or the fact that she's sick and stroke. He just felt the urge to love her until the end of times.

"So you're not as senseless as I thought you are? Thank you Enemy." She nuzzled her head on his chest and lay there silently. He only smiled, she made him the happiest man with just a snuggle on his chest. He knew she felt safe there.

"Now, what's the good story?" He asked and she placed back her head on his shoulder.

"I love kids, Sadeeq. Like an intense love I can't begin to voice out wallahi. I wanted to ask Marwa to give me her baby, but that's humanely not possible seeing as I'm sick, and young to take care of a child, don't I?" She sounded innocent and looked as innocent as she sounded. And he felt how her voice softly walked into his heart and without a knock, it was royally welcomed.

He forgot about how sick or even tired she could be, he lifted her head up and stared into her eyes. "Ihsan, you're the most capable person I see as a mother. You'll make the most beautiful, loving and caring mother I'd ever see in my life. Your future kids are the most luckiest set of kids in this life. And no, you're not sick or young to take care of a child. So, will you bore me my kids?"

She was taken aback by his last sentence, she searched through his eyes and found all the seriousness she had never seen on Sadeeq's face. She turned around and saw there were no videographers or someone that will tell her this was only for the show.

"Sadeeq..." she trailed off, because she couldn't find the 19 years old boy in him, he looked serious, matured and responsible.

"Ihsan I'm serious. In case you're still pretending to act like you don't know. I'm tired of bottling it up, I'm tired of it screeching in my heart and threatening to revolt. I love you, Ihsan. And I've never been grateful in my life like the day Abbu told me about our marriage. I might've called you names, insulted you, and physically abused you, believe me Ihsan-that was all for me to punish my heart. Because seeing you in pain is the most painful thing I have to witness in my life. And I find it senseless for my heart to fall in love with you, I have to punish it for that. But this is the reality, this is Sadeeq Argungun under the pretence of being your enemy. The first day we said I love you to each other, even though it was an I hate you in pretence, I felt that, Ihsan. To the deepest core of my heart.

I can't begin to tell you the day I fell in love with you, because I grew up like this. With your love flowing in me. I love you, Ihsan. And I want you to bore my kids. Not because you have an immense love for kids, but because I love to see little you walking around beside me. Will you?" He had tears on his cheeks, because he felt like the hatred she had for him can never be changed to love. Not to even a ten percent of the love he had for her.

She was crying too, and her frail hand began clearing his tears before she hugged him, nodding her head vigorously and hugged him. He asked the question again, and took her time that he almost gave up she won't answer him that she punched his chest lightly and whispered "I love you, you idiot! And yes, I'd love to nurture your child in my womb." A sudden outburst of laughter broke his chest and cleared away his tears before he hugged her tightly.