Chapter 37: Chapter 37
This chapter contains medical informations, they might be boring to you, but helpful. Read them please, if you aren't a sickle cell patient, you must surely have a friend, cousin, sibling or neighbor that is. Thank you.
Sadeeq walked out of his room when it was minutes past noon, he had enough sleep and felt refreshed. His stomach groaned, and he placed his hands on his flat tummy while the thought of what he would make for a brunch hit him. He knew Ihsan hadn't made something for them, even when they were on good not to talk of how they slept yesterday. He hissed at the thought of Ihsan, he was sure she heard him earlier when he was waking her up for salah but she choose to ignore him. If she want to play the ignoring game, he would be more than welcome for it.
He walked sluggishly into the kitchen and sat on the kitchen island, he didn't have the energy to make something huge, all his tired and lazy brain could think of was a custard with some raspberries toppings. His stomach grumbled at the thought. In a swift, he was making the custard and already had his raspberries washed.
He made his bowl and felt the need to watch the television while the taste of it teased his earlobes, and so he exited the kitchen and walked directly towards the living room. As he entered, his eyes naturally fell on Ihsan's body, she was still in the same position he left her, hours ago. And her left leg was still shaking. What could possibly be wrong? He thought and moved towards her, placing down his bowl on the center table.
This time around, he didn't called her name, he just knelt beside her and turned her face so she could face him. And he saw her eyes clenched shut, and when he leaned in to feel her nose exhaling air; it was blank. That was alarming. He hurriedly placed his right hand on her left breast and felt as her heart felt like a mountain, rigid and unmoving. His whole hands took her body, and he felt as her skin was colder than the ice he took his raspberries from.
A knot in his heart loosened. He placed her back on the sofa and ran to his room for his car keys. All that was being monotoned on his lips were 'Innalillahi wa'inna ilaihir raji'un'. He prayed he's not too late. Too late to check up on her. To late to turn her face and found out she was no longer breathing and her body was cold. Too late to cared enough to take her to the hospital that she had to lose her life. As painfully as this. With no loved one beside her, and himself that was supposed to be there for her, love, care and protect had been nothing but a jerk.
Ihsan can't leave him like this. He cried in his heart and scooped her now heavy body into his hands. He placed her on the back seat of the car and drove speedily to Al ahli hospital. He didn't care about the police that will probably place a fine on him for speeding, all he cared about was Ihsan. He had numerously turned around so some magic could happen, to see wether her chest could move be it a faint move; but it didn't. And that made more tears gushed down his cheeks that they blurred his vision, but he kept driving nonetheless.
When he arrived at the hospital, there were nurses in the reception and a troller was brought. They placed down Ihsan on it and her left hand kept dangling on the air. She was rushed to the A&E unit, and Sadeeq almost screamed when the nurses asked him to stay outside until they're done.
"I said she should die for all I care." He cared, his hands clutching onto his chest as all the waves of regret washed over him. What kind of a bad person is he? Could he really be that heartless even if it's to a stranger not to talk of someone as important as Ihsan is, to his life? When she called him enemy, was he really her enemy to let death took her coldly like this? If only he didn't brought Noor home yesterday, he cried even harder.
If only he didn't brought Noor and Ihsan didn't see together with him, she would've been fine. Or so he thought. If only she didn't freaked out and he called her a mad woman, she would've been fine. If only he didn't entwined his hands with Noor's and took her to Ihsan's room, she would've been fine. If Ihsan didn't showed him that she was madder than he thought and he got angry and slapped her, she would've been fine. If only he didn't uttered those words to her, and asked her if she wanted she can sleep in his room, she would've been fine. She would've been fine, seated together with him, even if she would be insulting him.
Had it been he spoke to her in a gentle manner, to apologize to her and tell her why Noor was in their house. Had it been he begged her before he took Noor to her room and asked her to sleep in his room, all this wouldn't have happened. Ihsan wouldn't have lost her life to a painful and heartless death. She wouldn't have been cold from death for hours and he didn't noticed until he was barely too late. Ya Allah...is this how sickle cell patients are being neglected in the world? Showed no care or compassion because they are being taken as liars or too whiny?
He had cried to his exhaustion and still hadn't called anyone at home, it was two hours since they arrived. He was afraid to call anyone of them, what would he tell them? That he was responsible for Ihsan's sickness or probably her death?....
His thoughts were put to a halt when the delicate hands of an Arab doctor tapped his shoulder and he looked up at him with his bloodshot eyes. "Follow me to my office please." He asked politely and walked away, Sadeeq rushed after him that he almost tripped and fell.
They were finally seated in the doctor's office, and he had never been eager to hear something more than he wanted to hear how Ihsan's condition was, from this doctor's lips. "She has a stroke." Sadeeq didn't know when he fell down from the chair and burst out into tears. What he had caused...it was all his fault. She knew she wasn't healthy enough to take all these things up, but he made sure he gave her the most horrible night of her life. He's nothing but a monster.
"You need to calm down, it's not something new to sickle cell patients, if only you had brought her earlier; it wouldn't have been worse." This doctor's words were like a knife to his heart, diving painfully into his heart and making sure they carved the most painful hole in his heart.
If only he wasn't stupid enough to believe she could start shaking her left leg and thought of it as one of her naughty ways of annoying him. If only he wasn't heart less enough, irresponsible enough to let his wife laying there uncovered for a whole night, under the chilly wind of Qatar. The wife he was well aware has a sickness that even after being taken care of, still fell sick without a tangible reason. If only he didn't uttered 'You can die for all I care.' May be Ihsan wouldn't have suffered how she suffered now. She wouldn't be stroke now.
Stroke, the word even sounded strange to him. Stroke meant she couldn't move a whole part in her, either left or right. She couldn't talk properly, nor could she talk or have those frail hands of her smack his chest. Stroke meant Ihsan would be always on bed until she wanted to move and someone had to help her up. Stroke meant she couldn't roll her eyes at him, because she's weak to do that. What he had caused on her...he cried harder.
"Sit upright, I'll elaborate more on this." It took Sadeeq some time before he sat back on the chair, but still, his eyes were shedding painful and regretful tears.
"Tell me she isn't going to be stroke for the rest of her life, tell me she would be fine in last than a month, please," he begged, as he brought his hands together into a praying manner.
"Hopefully, if she responds to treatment, it would only take us three weeks to a month, she can even recover faster than that. If she were a kid, it would take only 24hrs for her, but because she's an adult, it would take some time.
'Silent' Strokes in Sickle Cell Disease Children
They can be detected only through brain imaging devices such as MRIs. It's estimated that 17 percent of SCD children under the age of 14 have silent strokes and the rate increases to 23 percent by the age of 18, with the size and number of lesions increasing."
"Sickle Cell Disease (SCD) is rare but devastating. Due to a genetic mutation affecting hemoglobin, the component of the red blood cell that carries oxygen, a reduced amount of oxygen is supplied to vital tissues and organs. Blood cells also deform into a characteristic crescent shape and lodge into the smallest blood vessels, blocking blood flow and leading to excruciating pain. On top of these symptoms, patients face a high risk of stroke, the leading cause of death in SCD.
Specializing in the unique challenges facing SCD patients, physician and investigator John Wood, MD, PhD of CHLA studies how blood flow and oxygen delivery are affected by the disease. The compromised hemoglobin that is characteristic of SCD presents a serious danger to the brain. Just minutes without oxygen can kill brain cells. "We have learned a lot about how to prevent the large vessel strokes," says Dr. Wood, who is also a Professor of Pediatrics at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. He is referring to strokes that have immediate, overt effects such as blindness or paralysis. "But patients with SCD still suffer from silent strokes."
Silent strokes can have debilitating effects on executive function, the brain's ability to execute complex tasks needed for things like maintaining a job or doing well in school. Dr. Wood is working to discover what causes these devastating silent strokes. On the surface, the cause for these strokes seems clear: blood cells are damaged in SCD, so the brain receives less oxygen. Less oxygen to the brain results in strokes. But Dr. Wood found that total oxygen to the brain is not actually reduced in SCD patients. His research shows that the body compensates for reduced oxygen content of the blood by increasing blood flow to the brain. This led him to wonder why these patients were continuing to suffer strokes."
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Assalamu Alaikum, Guys!
I want to use this medium to call out to us, the kinds of me that have sickle cell patients close to them. I know they are often annoying and sometimes we think they are lying, that they aren't feeling that pain. But Wallahi it's real, they feel it tenfold of the pains we can ever experience. We should try as much as possible to give out our love, support and compassion to them. We should always try and check up on them, they can be healthy by 12:05am, and at 12:06am they're in an excruciating pain that couldn't be described. Let's check up on them, help them in every way possible. Only them know how they crave for a painless life but couldn't have it. The only way to ease their emotional pain is by loving and caring for them.
Thank you.