Chapter 90: Chapter 90

Dua had immediately taken Sheharzaad to another room once her eyes had landed on her. She did not talk to her family or anyone. She wanted to say the words that have been long overdued on her mind.

As soon as she entered in the privacy of the room, Dua hugged Sheharzaad and tears slowly slipped out of her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry, Sheharzaad. I-I-I," her voice croaked, "I wronged you.... I wronged you... I'm sorry, Sheharzaad. I'm sorry," she kept on repeating. Because she just had this word on her mind. The crime she committed was unjustifiable. It didn't matter Sheharzaad would forgive her or not, but in that moment,  Dua just wanted to apologize. Apologize for the crime she committed five years back. Apologize for the crime that stayed in her mind for five long years and it kept on haunting her. The guilt kept on eating her.

What she did with Sheharzaad broke her more than anything else.

Sheharzaad slowly raised her hand and caressed Dua's back, "stop crying, Dua. I... forgive you," she whispered.

Dua disengaged with her and her teary eyes and tear streaked cheeks face came infront of Sheharzaad's vision. She knew these were the tears of regret and guilt. If she wanted, she could have let Dua immerse in that painful ocean of regret and guilt for the rest of her life and take no mercy at her but her heart was soft. It might take time for her to trust Dua but she forgave her, truly. Because the truth Dua was about to know would be more painful so she wanted to release her from the pain.

"Really?" she asked in disbelief.

"I do," Sheharzaad smiled at her.

"Thank you.. so much, Sheharzaad. My life until now has been nothing but full of hopelessness. I did that... because I just thought that you took... Hannan from me. I'm... sorry. I'm short of moral values.... but I'm learning. Learning to understand, compromise, respect.... and forgive,"

"I hope you find happiness, Dua,"

"Thank you, Sheharzaad,"

On the cue, the door knocked and Haider walked in. Dua immediately lurched towards her father and hugged him, tight. Nuzzling her face, she cried in his chest. Haider became teary-eyed as well. He wanted to know that why did Dua escape but that wasn't the time when she was so emotionally disturbed.

"Baba, I'm sorry," she apologized.

"It's alright, mera bacha. Now stop crying," Haider caressed her hair.

(my kid)

Dua cleaned her tears with the cough of her shirt when slowly the whole family walked in, filling the room.

"Where were you, Dua?" her grandmother asked, opening her arms so she could hug her. Dua went into her arms and her face rested on her shoulder.

"I missed you Dadi,"

"I missed you too, my daughter. Where did you?" Her old voice slightly trembled, "you know your grandfather passed away," and tears escaped her grandma's eyes but Dua's expressions hardened which didn't go unnotice by Sheharzaad.

Dua knew something... about her grandfather.

"Dadi can I go take some rest," she disengaged from her warm embrace. "I know you've alot of questions from me. Alot have been going on in your mind that where was I," she addressed her family, "I'll answer all the questions but before that... I want to take some rest,"

"We won't press you about anything, beta. No one will ask anything from you. We don't want any answers from you. You came back home safely this is what we all needed. You can go and take rest," Haider told her.

"Thank you, baba," she smiled.

....

Sheharzaad was going towards the kitchen to boil a cup of milk for Chahat when she saw Haseeb coming out of the kitchen.

"Assalam alaikum, Sheharzaad bhabhi," He greeted, "how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you, Haseeb?"

"I'm fine, too. At last Shehryaar Bhai's efforts became fruitful and you came back,"

"Efforts?" she asked, suddenly wanting to know what Shehryaar did to get her.

"I don't have words to put it in that how much he strived for you. He was completely lost that I and Irtaza bhai had to take over the business.... and mafia," he said the last words with a pause, "That was the definitely the lowest point of his life. I've seen him getting obsessed with whatever what he does. And developing this business from scratch was what I considered as the biggest goal of his life but I think it was taken over by you. He gave up on his business and day and night investigated and had run his men throughout the country just to find you,"

Sheharzaad felt silence coming over her.

"How much did he suffer?" She asked, "do you think.... was he punished for what he did with me?" her eyes held a distant look.

"I'm not aware... that how much he wronged you... but yes, he had suffered. Suffered enough. He had met an accident that had him confined to the bed,"

And Sheharzaad recalled the time when he confined her within the four walls of the cell. It was karma. He received his karma. But she was yet to forgive him... completely.

She was still unclear that whether she'll ever be able to forgive him or not.

"Haseeb, how did Dua escape?" She asked, all of a sudden, "and why did she escape?"

She saw expressions changing on Haseeb's face.

"All she told me is that my grandfather helped her in escaping,"

Sheharzaad's eyes widened for a moment as a sudden realization hit her.

Dua came to know of the truth.

"What happened?" he asked, referring to her change of expressions.

"I want to talk to Dua," she said in a hurry and left.

....

Dua felt tears slipping out of her eyes. Small sobs wracking her forms. her hands shivering. her trauma freshened. She could feel her breaths shortening as another tiny sob hit her throat.

For two years she had never run the truth on her lips. Because the depth of this story always made goosebumps appear on her body. Sometimes, she hoped that she had never become familiar with this reality.

Today, making her lips play in the tunes of the story of her mother brought nothing but tears to her eyes. She was uttering it out after two long years to someone. The story which she always tried escaping even in her lonliness.

She hugged Dua after telling Sheharzaad about the conversation her grandfather had with her friend Agha that day. She told her, she had no option but to agree to her grandfather's condition. Her state was too emotionally weakened to consider or even re-evaluate his words. She was manipulated by the words of his own grandfather.

"Dua," Sheharzaad rubbed her back, "Dua... everything will get better," she consoled her.

"I considered my mama as the culprit my whole life... but she was the victim herself. How can I live after knowing what has happened with my mum,"

"It's a curse," Sheharzaad whispered under her breath, "a curse that needs to broken. And it can only be broken.... if this family come to know that Jaha Ara was innocent or.... she was not the only culprit. The day justice is brought to her... you all will be reborn. You, your brother, Irtaza and.... Shehryaar,"

"I'll help you, Sheharzaad,"

"We need to reach the man... who raped your mother... "

....

Knocking on the door, Sheharzaad entered Haider's room who was reading a book. Upon seeing Sheharzaad there, he took off his glasses and welcomed her before asking her to sit.

"How are you... Baba?"

"I'm good, daughter. How are you? And... what is that?" His eyes fell on the old worn out diary which was in Sheharzaad's hands.

"I'm fine," she said with a smile, "I'm just here... to give you something... so you can live again,"

Haider frowned, "what?"

She handed over the diary to him.

"This is from Jaha Ara... to you," Sheharzaad forwarded the diary to him before standing up and taking her leave.

She reached near the door when she slightly turned towards him, who was staring at the diary with confusion and then his eyes met with Sheharzaad's.

"Learn to live," she said with a smile and left.

....

The night sky has already sprawled so she went to her room. Shehryaar was working on the table, going through some files. The light from his macbook fell on his face that he had placed aside on the table while reading those papers.

"I waited for your breakfast today," he said, without looking up.

She did not bring him breakfast today though he had been expecting for her arrival.

Sheharzaad sat on the sofa and looked out of the window, which gave view to the garden, "I... tomorrow," she told him, her voice was dry and quiet which made him frown as he looked up at her.

Her eyes were quiet as with that distant look, she stared out of the window.

Shehryaar left his work and approached her, sitting beside her.

"Did something happen?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"For how long you'll keep these walls between us?"

Sheharzaad's eyes hardened as she gazed at him, "until... I suffer from a memory loss to forget everything I've been through.... you made me go through,"

He broke the stare and looked away. His heart painfully constricted in his chest.

"You asked me... to forgive my mother," he spoke after a few moments of silence, "I thought about it. Even I tried," Sheharzaad looked at him but his grey eyes rested on the ceiling as his back rested against the sofa, "but these distances between us, the walls that you created around yourself to seek protection from me.... because what I did to you five years back... never makes me forgive her," His voice shivered.

It was the first time, she saw him loosing control over his emotions, "I'm cursed. I'm what I'm today only because of her... only because of my impaired childhood because of her absence. I've seen her with my own damn eyes with another man! I've always seen her betraying my father!" The dam was breaking now. The detest that he had gathered in his heart for decades was atlast coming out.

"What I did with you was never on purpose. It is fucking built-in me. I can't trust any woman. Never completely after what I've seen. I'm mentally impaired only because of her. I did what i did with you only because of her. She is the reason what I am today,"

Sheharzaad saw a tear slipping from his eye as he looked into Sheharzad's eyes, "And on the top of that, she killed herself? Leaving us on our own? Did she ever care about us? Ever once thought about us while taking her life?"

"She was not like that... Shehryaar," She whispered, "maybe she deserves your forgiveness,"

"I can never forgive her,"

A tear escaped from Sheharzaad's eye. She now couldn't hold it anymore. She needed to blurt it out. She needed to tell him the truth. Tell everyone the truth. Because the detestation they carried for Jaha Ara was depressing her heart more and more.

"Shehryaar," she whispered, and he looked at her.

"Your mother was raped. Your mother was murdered.... she never took her life,"