Chapter 81: Chapter 81
Both of them slept in separated rooms. It was Sheharzaad's demand. She did not want to go to the haveli because of the memories associated with that place. She was aware that if she stepped ahead and went there then it would rejuvenate the trauma she felt in those days. The lonliness and aloofness. The only person she wanted to meet was Shehryaar's father, Haider. And she did meet him when he came to their mansion in Islamabad in which they both were now staying.
She had hugged him as if she would hug her father and felt tears gushing down her eyes. Then she carried Chahat in her arms and had her meet with Haider.
"Call him dada," Sheharzaad taught.
(Grandfather)
"Daaa....daaa," Chahat uttered gibberish, while playing with Haider's face. The child suddenly had developed a bond with Haider. Sheharzaad knew her daughter wasn't an introvert and a closed book like her. She was an open one, bubbly, friendly, social, extrovert, confident. She just prayed that Chahat did not have to go through what she did. Neither in her childhood nor in her adulthood. She wanted to give her a lot of love. She wanted to give her a complete family as well and this was the reason due to which she had agreed to coming with Sheryaar.
In the first few days, Chahat had difficulty in adjusting to everything. She missed Rasheeda and Khubaib. But when Shehryaar got her admitted in the school, slowly her school life busied her and she began to forget them.
How childish....
That's all could Sheharzaad say.
Sheharzaad stayed at home while Shehryaar was at work. When at night he would come back, Sheharzaad would go into her room and make Chahat sleep. Sometimes, Chahat would insist on sleeping with Shehryaar so she would leave her at his room who would make him sleep. Sheharzaad had been observing that how fond Chahat had gotten of Shehryaar. She would call her 'baba' (father/papa)
She did not know whether Shehryaar had taught her this or she had began to call Shehryaar as his father on her own. Chahat had just told her that her friends have someone whom they call 'baba' and their 'baba' exactly did the same things for them which 'Yar' was doing for her so he was her 'baba'
The next day Shehryaar would be long gone before she would wake up. In that way, she had minimal interaction with him. Because at some point, within her heart, she was still scared of him. He had changed. Everything was in past. More than five years have passed but still it was not easy to uproot everything out of her mind. Though the contract she made him sign, provided her with full protection yet her fear for her had always been pure and unadulterated.
Everything was for Chahat. She deserved the love of her father. She could not be selfish and deprive her of it. She wanted to give Chahat a complete family. Her child had no fault in whatever happened in the past. It was a test of her motherhood. And motherhood taught her to put their child first. Just like it takes two to tango, similarly, it takes two parents to raise a child.
A few months have passed. And she felt as if she was getting rotten by being alone and doing nothing at home. The servants were everywhere. They won't even let her touch the floor. She just had to command and everything would be at her disposal. They treated her like queen and she was well aware it was due to the terror and respect they had in for Shehryaar. But she wanted to make use of herself. She wanted to work. Or anything. That would have her mind invested somewhere rather than just letting it run wild in her imagination.
She had decided to talk to Amna about her job.
Amna, her dearest friend.
Though it took some time for her to get out of her shell and interact with everyone. The first person she had met after coming back was Amna. They both have cried, hugging each other tightly after meeting for five long years. Amna was completely fine now. Her cancer was treated. Ahmed was now the branch manager of the bank he worked in. Their mother was content with their relationship. They were now financially stable. Amna had a little boy named Jawad who was just two years old.
Amna had told her everything that how devastated she felt upon hearing about her disappearance. She had cursed Shehryaar day and night. And did every effort she could to find her. She even went at Shehryaar's place to find about her whereabouts but he was more devastated than Amna herself. All he had was bottle of liquors around him. Drowning and drowning, more and more in the liquid to alleviate the pain and kill the lonliness he had felt.
Shehryaar had completely given up on his business and mafia. Irtaza handled his business. While Haseeb controlled the main branch of his company that he had shifted to London. He did not know about what in the world was going on. He was just obsessed with finding Sheharzaad. Numerous times, he had sent his teams at her place to look for her but there was no clue. Amna told her that how desperate and weak in knees had Shehryaar gotten because of her absence.
Sheharzaad was suddenly at loss of words and entered a dilemma after listening to the story. This was the reason about the change in Shehryaar. He had suffered. Suffered so much to get her.
His obsession was lethal.
How could someone who has developed this huge empire after years of hard work can let it go just like that because of a girl whom he knew for less than an year.
It told her that guilt was a deadly thing.
It was difficult to live with guilt.
The same guilt she sometimes saw lingering in his eyes when he looked at her and she would look away. Yet there wasn't just guilt in those grey orbs of his. Those charming and intense grey orbs that still managed to grasp her heartbeats.
There was a passion, intensity, a ferociousness, a desire. A want. A need. And most of these all, affection. Or maybe it wasn't just affection.... Love. It was love. He looked at her as if she was the most precious thing to him in this world.
She was aware that he was controlling himself.
Controlling himself from advancing towards her, holding her in his arms, and hug her. Tightly. She was testing his patience. He needed her. He really did. And it was evident in his form so much that he did not hold back from expressing this. He did not let the mask of coldness and expressionlessness wear on his face. He let the feeling out to let her know that he did want her. He need her. Not just need, he loved her. So preciously. He can give up everything for her. He was 'the Shehryaar' for others but for his 'Zaad' he was a different person. Just for her. Exclusively for her.
Yet Sheharzaad could never reciprocate these emotions. What's done. Done. There was no route for U turn. No going back. Life was a one way route. It always has been. There was no love in her heart for him. She can't love him after what he did no matter how much he had changed now.
She always had been one of those persons known for giving no second chances to others. If she faced pain and betrayal from a person once, she will never let that person enter again in her life. Yet here Shehryaar was an exception. He let him in her life but that was only because of Chahat. Her heart had no room for him. She had recovered from the traumas of past. She had changed. But she can never give him that second chance again. He an enter her life but not in her heart as he had claimed while bringing her back to home.
...
Sheharzaad was busy going through her laptop seeking for job opportunities in Islamabad. She so wanted to do some work. And this time the reason was not to earn money but to achieve the heights of success she always had imagined for herself.
Being married cannot stop her from achieving her dreams. She will not stop. Not after years of hard work in her university. She always maintained a good GPA so it would be easier for her to get a job.
Her eyes fell on an advertisement which said the given company 'Kirmani group of companies' was looking for a new individual in their main branch. Seeking the opportunity she immediately applied for the job and sent her CV details. Her CV had her father name over it. In her ID card, she still had her father as her guardian and she didn't change it her husband's name.
She hoped she would get selected. Done applying, she had just turned down the lid of the laptop when a beaming Chahat came running towards her with her arms sprawling in air.
"Mamaaa!" She beamed with joy and hugged Sheharzaad.
"Mama's life," Sheharzaad hugged her back when her eyes noticed sleek black boots coming in her vision and slowly her curled lashes moved up to find Shehryaar standing there.
He donned a royal blue suit. His hands stuffed in pockets. His hair gelled back. His eyes, grey and intent upon hers and Chahat.
"Baaa.... brought...me home today," Chahat told Sheharzaad when Shehryaar got closer to them. Squatting down on his knee, he held Chahat by her shoulders as the little girl looked at him.
"Say after me," he said, looking at Chahat, "Baba," he pronounced the words clearly so Chahat would understand.
"Baa...baa,"
"Baba," he repeated.
"Baba....baba..." Chahat giggled, "Baba! Baba!" She threw her little arms around Shehryaar.
"Baba ki jaan," he uttered and held Chahat in his sturdy arms before standing up.
(Baba's life)
His eyes rested upon Sheharzaad who as usual didn't stare at him longer than a second and looked away, while scratching her neck.
It seemed like to this date, she was not able to keep up with his intense eyes.
His eyes.
They were not just intense.... if someone would be subjected to his gaze which he always threw at his Zaad, then that person would have a similar reaction as of Sheharzaad. It made her feel things. It could make anyone feel things in their stomach. He was a treat to watch.
"Chahat let's go. I will change your clothes," she said, holding her arms out to take Chahat from his hold. As usual running from his presence and not meeting his eyes either.
Shehryaar handed over Chahat to her and she walked away while her daughter told her about her day at school.
Shehryaar staring at her retreating back.
Wondering when his little lady would break those walls around her.
It was still killing him.