Chapter 80: Chapter 80

Shehryar was watering the plants while Raseeda was staring at him with thoughtful eyes. Just as Sherhzaad appeared in the garden holding Chahat in her arms, Raseedha addressed Shehryar.

"Has the thought of marriage never occurred to your mind?"

Shehryar gazed at Sherhzaad who stilled at Rasheeda's words but played ignorant as she combed Chahat's hair.

He lowered his ashamed gaze. Not know what to answer, he repeated his mantra. "Who would give their daughter's hand in mine? You know my reality. I am gareeb, maskeen, becha-"

"Bechara, hn hn." Rasheeda scoffed. "But you had to have girls throwing themselves at you. I mean look at you." She exasperated at his well built, making him stifle a smile.

"If I would have met you twenty five years back, I would have kept you for myself."

Sherhzaad scrunched her nose, making Chahat copy her mother's expressions.

"I would have been four." Shehryar muttered under his breath.

"Huh na. Should I search for a beautiful bride for you? I'm your sure you will have girls line up for you. I have seen neighbors girls peaking at you from time to time. You have started becoming talk of town-"

"Ami, I need to discuss something with you. Come inside please." For some reasons, frustrated by Rasheeda's words, Sherhzaad interrupted her offers. Her words, they stung for some reasons. Perhaps because, her daughter's father's marriage life was being discussed so openly infront of her. Yes that's what it was!

Rasheeda stood up. But before going inside, she didn't hesitate in reminding Shehryar. "Do think of my words, miyan. Your adulthood is getting wasted. What's the point of this handsomeness when not to make good use-"

Sherhzaad rushed her inside, causing Shehryar to chuckle under his breath. He turned to look at Chahat who still had her perky little nose scrunched up.

"Yar's cutest copy cat." Picking her up, he twirled her in the sky, her squealing laughter echoing in fluffly, dancing fields in distance.

***

Exiting the restroom, Sherhzaad began to dry her damped hair with towel, but the minute she heard Chahat's weep, her body jolted out of the room on reflex. On finding her cuddled in Shehryar's arms, her heart twisted.

She looked up at Shehryar who was giving her intensely, cold stare. That made her swallow thickly. Okay....

"Come to mama, Chahat." Shehrzaad opened her arms. Chahat squirmed in Shehrzaad's hold, causing him to put her down. She instantly crushed against Shehrzaad's chest, making her awe.

Not being able to heed her weeps, Shehryar walked out, slamming the door, making Sherhzaad jump. Who got on his nerves?

"Who made my chuchu cry, hm?" Sherhzaad picked Chahat up and began to rub her back, wiping the tears from her rosy cheeks.

"Ashu going. Chahat alone." She told her mama between her soft sniffles. Ashu was Chahat's age fellow and only friend mate.

Puzzled, Shehrzaad asked furthur, "Where is she going, chuchu?" She gazed up at Rasheeda who entered through he main door.

Seeing Chahat's teary eyes, she sighed. "Ayesha's parents are shifting to city for her studies and future." Rasheeda explained, cooing at pouty Chahat.

"Mama! Mama!" Chahat grabbed Sherhzaad's face in her tiny hands. "We go to city too. Pleazeeeee." She dragged in her baby voice, eyes puppiest.

Sherhzaad's heart twisted. That's what Shehryar was glaring at her for. Her helplessness made her gut wrenched. What was she supposed to tell her little one? That she feared big cities and their natives? They were filled with monsters who wouldn't think twice before crushing others like ants.

At Sherhzaad's silence, Rasheeda spoke up, "She isn't asking for something bad, Zaad. Good education and civilized surroundings is her right." Sherhzaad had nothing to say, aware Rasheeda was on right ground. "I would have never asked you to consider leaving us if it wasn't for Chahat's future. I care for her. I wished there was a school in our village so she didn't had to go away from us. But see, there's none. Chahat is already behind in her speech and vocabulary. She would miss more if you don't take any step now." Ending her words, Rasheeda patted her shoulder before taking weeping Chahat in her arms and sauntering to kitchen, aware a cookie was the antidote of brightening little one's day.

Shehrzaad was left in turmoil.

***

It was late midnight when Sherzaad stepped out of the main door, before sitting down at one of the entrance stairs. Lowering her head on her knees, she began to weep silently. Her motherly guilt was writhing her soul. She didn't want to deprive her child of any joy, let alone her basic rights. But she was scared. No. She was traumatized. Her own experience haunted her, chaining her mind. She and Chahat were much safer here. But the man she was trying to run from, was here as well. What made them secure then?

Just then, she sensed a presence beside her. She didn't had to lift her head to know who had sat beside her. His aura spoke alot.

"What made my little lady cry?" His voice was so soft, just like a lullaby. Something about his gentle demeanor made her cry further.

What would have wrong had he used the same warm approach on their first meeting? Only after ruining and dehumanizing her, he was becoming human. But was it enough now to make her forget his brutal shortcomings? Certainly no.

She felt an arm wrapping around her shoulder. Not objecting, she didn't initiate either. Drained beyond limit, she was desperate for warm embrace, for someone to assure her everything will be alright.

"Everything will be alright, love." His gentle voice whispered near her ear, freezing her. Her cries halted for a second as she waited for him to speak further. "I am so proud of you. You are doing alot better than my mother did." He paused, controlling his raw emotions from emerging. "You are raising a human. Kind and loving. It takes alot to raise a child and you are doing it so effortlessly. I'm honored my child is in good hands." He kissed the side of her head.

Her lower lip wobbled. It was as if a huge burden had been lifted off of her shoulder.

"I- I am depriving her off of good future." She hiccuped.

Shehryar hushed at her. "It's not your guilty to carry," His fingers began to rub her arm up and down. "I'm to be blamed for that. I broke your trust in humanity. And for that, I will be forever sorry." His voice hinted his sincerity and shame.

Sherhzaad stilled. She couldn't recall the last time she had heard him apologizing. Probably never. The submitting word itself didn't suit him. But here he was, regretful and humiliated.

"I had no right to subdue your free will. I was blind sided, Sherhzaad. I-I thought all women were alike." A lump in his throat interrupted him. The great Shehryar Haider Syed was stuttering.

"Chahat made me realize how wrong I was." He closed his damped lashes, loosening his hold on her. Standing to his feet, he knelt down infront of her. Holding her both hands in his, he attached them to her eyes. Frozen and gobsmacked, Shehrzaad watched the whole exchange with wide eyes.

"I wish I could take back the horrific deeds I committed on you. I'm not ashamed of person I am. I'm ashamed of bringing you into my life, *knowing* the kind of person I am." He brushed her lone tear away with clad of his thumb. "You deserve better than me. But I am seflish, Sherhzaad." His stormy eyes were glistening in sincerity. "I would rather you kill me than to see you in arms of other person." He tenderly placed her one hand on his chest. "I would rather you take my heart out than to make me see my child live a fatherless life when I am alive." His heart was beating wildly under her palm, making her swallow thickly.

"Why the sudden change?" She asked quietly.

Shehryar stayed silent for a good minute. When he rasied his eyes, jolts of shock ran her veins seeing the one emotion in his eyes, she never thought she will get to witness in this life.

Fear.

"The day you got married to me," He started in low humming tone. "I thought I had conquered it all. I had broken your will. That excited the cold blooded mafia in me. But the day you tried unalive yourself-" He choked. "I was thrown to the ground face first. "I didn't like when you would challenge my dominance every time. Numerous times, you showed me I could never break you. And I started believing it as well." Bringing her hand to his lips, he placed the most gentle and warmest kiss he could linger.

The wetness in her hand made her realize, he was crying! Tears were wetting his face. The darkness made it impossible to see through the rarest of sight. But, she could feel the quivers, his body was emitting. He was reliving that horrfic day where he thought he had lost her forever.

"I decided; what I couldn't break-," He paused before looking straight in her eyes. "I will own." His dark words and the intense look in his eyes sent a steep shiver to run down her spine.

Fearfully, she maintained their eye contact. "Your suicide attempt made realize, even after the barbaric tortures, I had only conquered to man a fraction part of you. Your main possession could never be mine." He placed a hand above her heart, hitching her breath. "This-" He pressed his thumb between her cleavage, making her part her lips. "Is what I am after this time." Her heart felt like would leap out of her chest any minute now.

"I want to change." His other hand grabbed her neck before he inched her forehead closer until i was touching his. "For you. For us. For our Chahat." Their breaths intermixed. His intoxicating control on her body was astonishing.

"Just one chance." He whispered, brushing his rough lips against her soft petal ones. She could have moved back and he would have showed no objections. But his seductive forgiveness had stilled her on spot. The womanly part of her, desperate for intimacy, allowed no sensible thought to wash through her.

"If I let you down again, I will free you myself." His hand squeezed her breast for one last time before palming her cheek. "Our relation, this time, will entirely base on your conditions. You will have the last say. I give you my word." He pressed his lips on her but instead of kissing her, he moved back, staring up at her lost eyes.

"Allow me to gather your broken pieces." His deep voice sounded like a desperate plea. Shehrzaad's heart ached.

"You can't." Her broken, hopeless whisper pierced his heart.

A bitter smile touched his lips. He pressed his mouth in corner of her lips this time. "Don't doubt my credibility, Zaad." His sweet voice enticed. "I know what I say." Moving back, he placed one lingering kiss on her forehead in most loving and intimate manner, as if all his love had been poured on in that sole kiss. What that kiss didn't had? It was a symbol of his sincerity, an action of him conveying his utmost respect to mother of his child. "By God, you are the most precious to me." He told her, standing on his height. "One chance is all I ask for." And he had gone, vanishing in darkness of that night, leaving her in most crucial turmoil of her life.

Her teary eyes raised to the dark sky, "My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need." Her heartful prayer flew up, joining the dark night.

***

Sherhzaad was adjusting the bedsheet when the door was knocked. Staring up, she found Rasheeda standing with strange emotions in her eyes. As if she was trying to scrutinize Shehrzaad.

Shehrzaad gave her a confused smile. "Come on in, ammi. You don't need permission." She sat down on the bed, patting the space beside her. Rasheeda sat down with an affectionate smile, "May no harm reach my child's way." She placed her hand on Sherhzaad's head before taking her hand in hers. "Do you trust me, beti?"

Shehrzaad joined her brows. "Ofcourse, ami. You are my mohsin. I trust you with my life." When Shehryar, being one of the most wealthiest man of country, couldn't offer her anything in free and stilled it in her brain that everything came with a price, there were these two old souls who showed her affection and compassion with no expectations in return. They relished her belief in humanity. She was willing to trade everything in the world for their happiness.

"Then you must know I would never advice anything but what brings positive impact in your life and Chahat's."

Sherhzaad didn't say anything as worry itched her forehead, anxiety of what was gonna leave her mouth.

Rasheeda inhaled nervously. "What do you think of Shehryar?" Her words chilled Sherhzaad. She wasn't that naive not to know the double meaning behind Rasheeda's words.

Her blank expressions made Rasheeda quick on her heels to explain her point. "I know beti that memory of your late husband isn't allowing you to move forward but for how long? Don't you think Chahat deserves a fatherly figure in life?" Exact words, Shehryar had spoken last time. Rasheeda's voice began to sound distant.

"I have seen Shehryar with Chahat. He is more or less, an exact epitome of how a father should be with their child. He gives her affection, disciplines her when she steps out of line and protects her in need of hour. Who else is willing to raise someone else's kid nowadays."

Sherhzaad pursed her lip, lowering her damped eyes. She couldn't deny the truth in her words. Shehryar was no where near in line in being an ideal husband, but he was proving to be an ideal father. It wasn't like she was ignorant of their attachment. Shehryar wasn't all cuddly. His naturally dominant personality demanded obedience. But despite the tough love he would offer Chahat, she was still more attached with Shehryar than them. In short span of time, he had earned the highest rank in his daughter's heart.

"Think through my words, bachay. Even if your heart isn't willing, make a compromise for your daughter. She deserves a father and you deserve a companion by your side." Rasheeda stood up. Patting Sherhzaad's lowered head, she walked out but not before saying her last words of wisdom, that played like a mantra in Sherhzaad's mind for next few days.

"Commit my words to memory, Bachay. A child is like a parasite and parents are the host. Even if they suck the life out of you, you keep providing them. You keep going on, not because they are your obligation. But because they are part of you. The precious piece of yourself that you must nurture and prepare to stand against the world. Just like it takes two to tango, it takes both parents to raise a human. Or else, you might raise a human on your own but the roots of its humanity will be forever weak, lacking it's partial share of care and affection. Don't expect Chahat to compromise on her fatherly love, you are the mother. It's your maternal test. Not Chahat's."

***

Sherhzaad took days of isolation and solitude, thinking every factor thoroughly. No part of her was forgiving of Shehryar's actions. But that did not give her right to punish her daughter. She may resent her husband, but at end of the day, he was Chahat's father.

Chahat needed his share of discipline and affection to grow her wings, but she needed her mother's nurturing as well. Fate had cornered her in tight place. To make her daughter stand high, she must kneel. All other doors were closed for her.

Making her mind, she closed her eyes. The decision she had taken might proved to be haunted in future but for sake of her daughter, she had to hand over the dice to destiny.

Time was the best dictator, afterall.

***

When Sherhzaad opened her eyes, it was already dusk. She gazed at her chest and found her sleepy head dozed off there with thumb between her lips, snoring softly. Must have been Shehryar's deed.

Gently adjusting her on the bed, Shehzaad exited the room. Her brows furrowed on finding the house empty. But the minute she stepped out the main door, she halted on finding Shehryar on one of the stairs, holding his head between his hands. At the commotion, he gazed up, meeting her eyes. She was caught off guard at the redness of his eyes. Seemed like he had cried. But why would he cry?

"Have you made your mind?" He questioned in straight, dry tone. His emotionless eyes caught her ability of responding.

Her lack of response made him nod his head. "I am leaving." He told in curt tone. His words made her eyes widened.

"It's Dada. (grandfather)" He answered her unsaid question. "He has...died two days ago." His voice was monotonous but the rush of dampness in his angry, red eyes wasn't unseen by Sherhzaad.

"They couldn't reach me. So they b...buried him without me." He brushed a hand through his hand, pausing at his rush of emotions. His dada, his ideal, his pillar, his more fatherly figure than his own father, he was no more. Shehryar was dying inside.

"I didn't get to see him last time. He he was calling for me. Irtaza said, in his last moments, he only remembered my name." Shehryar groaned, hiding his face between his hands, to hide his tears from her. "Oh God. I didn't get to meet him. I didn't reach in time. How will life be same? Sherhzaad tell me. Will I ever recover from this?" He looked up from his hands with hope shimmering in eyes. In that moment, he shared no resemblance to the title of Mafia king. He was a kid, mourning the loss of his grandfather.

She was at loss of words, not having any words of consolation to offer him. No, life isn't the same after loosing a loved one. You have to live the whole life with that void. But she didn't had the heart to tell this to the grieving grandson.

"You need time, I have gathered." He fought the grief off, eradicating the anguish from his features. "It's alright. You are free to think this through. But I must go, Zaad. Give my love to Chahat. Until next time, little lady." He turned around and walked away while Sheharzaad watched his retreating back.

Shehryaar left.

....

The days passed by.

Chahat had gone cranky because she missed Shehryaar so much.

Day and night, Chahat would ask her mother about just one thing.

Where is Yar?

When will Yar come back?

I want Yar to bring me chocolates?

Mama, my friends father brings her toy and whatever she wants like Yar used to..

These tiny complains of her will pinch at Sheharzaad's heart. She knew how much the vaccum which has been created in Chahat's life due to absence of father. And this vaccum was felt more since Shehryaar left.

She felt selfish.

So selfish.

For not giving Chahat what she deserved because she did not want to be with Shehryaar.

It was noon.

Rasheeda and Khubaib went to the city while she and Chahat were alone.

Village noons were quite as many villagers would take a nap in their humble abodes. The farmers would come back from fields to take some rest. Because the Sun shone most radiantly at this time. Only the sound of chirping of birds could be heard and the voice of the moving water of the lake nearby.

She could hear the distant voices of two girls playing while she sung Chahat a lullaby, who was trying to sleep.

Those voices reminded her of Amna.

Amna....

In these five years, she never contacted with Amna, thinking she would put her life in danger. She knew Shehryaar's family would be rooting for her since she assisted in Shehryaar's kidnap.

First few months she was kept in Wali's protection.

Wali.

She left him

Left him for good.

He was a bastard.

Deserved to die.

In the worst possible ways.

She came to know of the truth.

The truth that made her heart explode with pain.

Wali was the killer of her parents....

One day she had went to a salon for a haircut where she met someone whom she never expected to come across.

Sheila.

The girl whom Shehryaar kept in basement.

The girl who was there at Sheharzaad's home, seeking help from her parents.

The girl with whom her parents went and they never came back.

The first question she asked Sheila, what happened that day when she went with her parents?

And Sheila told her the whole truth.

That she was a spy installed in Shehryaar's company to gather evidences against him for being involved in drug dealing. Wali was her co-worker at that time.

While she was on this case against Shehryaar, she came to know that Wali was making fake evidences against him. And for that he needed Sheila's assistance. Sheila denied Wali. She had developed feelings for her boss and she didn't want to betray Shehryaar that way. And then she came to know that Wali was backed by a mafia who worked against the Syed family.

The mafia of Khurram Osmani.

Sheila confronted Wali. And then he sent mafia men at her home. She escaped from them. Sheila couldn't take Shehryaar's help because in that case, she had to reveal the truth to Shehryaar. Wali did not let her reach the higher authorities either.

Until one day, Sheila found Sheharzaad's home.

Her parents were lawyers.

She told them everything.

And she was about to file a case against Wali in court but he killed them all by sending his men. Her parents died but she somehow survived. And when her eyes had opened, she found herself in Shehryaar's captivity, who had come to know off her game.

He was relentless.

Punished her, so bad.

But one day he came and released her, giving her some money so she could start a new life.

Sheharzaad was struck after listening this story.

She had straight up went to Wali and grabbed him by his collars, calling him out for killing her parents. It was that moment when he revealed his ill intentions. Of killing Shehryaar after the child birth and marrying her. But since Sheharzaad came to know of the truth, he tried to rape her but she managed to escape and somehow God helped her reach in the protection of Rasheeda and Khubaib.

To protect Amna first from Shehryaar's family and second from Wali, she never contacted her.

And now she had completely lost her contact.

She did not know whether she was alive or dead.

....

She walked down the stairs to fetch herself a glass of water.

The home was awfully quiet.

Rather it always has been this quiet. She was now beginning to notice it since he left....

To some extent, she was able to understand the emptiness in Chahat.

She went to the kitchen and pour herself a glass of water when suddenly the door began to bang loudly.

Her heart beat spiked up.

There were voices coming out of the door, "Open the door!"

No.

It was not Shehryaar.

Then who else?

She began to back away from the door and was about to go up to Chahat when the door got opened with a thud and a bunch of men entered.

Her eyes widened when those men made their way and in walked the notorious landlord of the village.

"Saeen,"

This is what they were calling.

Twisting his mustache, he looked around the house and walked as if he owned it.

"Where is that guy?" he asked, Sheharzaad, while looking left and right trying to find 'the guy' since he thought that the boy must have gone into a hiding as The Saeen was here at his door to teach him a lesson.

"Which boy?" Sheharzaad asked.

"That bastard who dared to kill my special man, Waqas," he boomed.

"I-I-I d-don't know," she stuttered.

"Don't pretend, woman! Tell us where he is?!" One of his subordinates, shouted.

"I really don't know!"

"Don't lie, you woman!" he called her out as if being 'woman' was a crime.

Hearing the shouts, Chahat came downstairs, while holding her Mr. Sprinkles.

"Who is this mama?" The innocent child said, while rubbing her eyes.

Sheharzaad's eyes widened and she immediately ran towards Chahat when suddenly the landlord ordered his men and they held Sheharzaad and Chahat as well, separating them

Chahat began to cry, "Mama! Mama!"

"Chahat!" Sheharzaad was trying to lung towards Chahat but they didn't let her.

Suddenly, the door opened and armed men walked inside, surrounding the whole place. Those armed men outnumbered the men who came with the landlord and pointed their guns at them.

Immediately, they released Sheharzaad and Chahat from their grip.

And then the door was banged open and Shehryaar came in, with his gun in his hands. He pointed at the man holding Chahat and he covered her eyes.

Instantly, Shehryaar fired a bullet which penetrated the landlord's shoulder and he fell down with the impact. n his daunty and dominating voice, he ordered everyone to be taken away including that landlord and his men. And the place was evacuated within minutes.

Immediately, Chahat left the man who held her eyes and ran upto Shehryaar.

"Yar! Yar!" she giggled and sprawled her little arms wanting him to take her up and he held her in his arms, "Yar! I missed you!" she said, while caressing her hand against his stubble.

"I missed you too, my little life," he said and kissed the crown of her head. His grey eyes sauntered towards Sheharzaad who was still in a shock. He opened his arm and she ran towards him, hugging him.

She was so scared.

So scared to loose Chahat again.

She cried in his arms when the door opened and came rushing Rasheeda and Khubaib and she immediately left him.

.....

That night, Shehryar came into his room and held Sheharzaad's hand while Chahat snorted.

He went down on his knees as she sat.

Looking up, he stared into her eyes.

"The past days made me realized.... when you were not around me.... I can't," his voice shivered, a lump formed in his throat, "I'm-I'm nothing without you," he said and a tear left his eye.

"I need you... more than anything," he whispered and then got quiet, staring at her little hands which were in his grasp.

"Shehryaar..." she whispered.

"I-" She said and suddenly stooped. Her eyes went to Chahat and the incident that occured today and then at Shehryaar.

Her decision changed.

Her words morphed.

"I'm ready to come with you."

He turned to look at her. She had grave serious expressions on her face. She wasn't kidding. Shehryar felt a lump choking his throat.

How did he became soo lucky?

"But I have my condition."

"Anything." At that time, Shehryar didn't realize what had he offered her. But the minute, she voiced her next words, the gravity of his regret stabbed him like a daggher to gut.

But nothing could be done now. In order to take their life to right path, he had to sip down this bitter, loatheful drop of her resentment.

***

In order to not unveil their previous relation on Khubaib and Rasheeda, they had to get nikkafied again infront of them.

But this time, things were different. It wasn't Sherhzaad but Shehryar whose hands were shaking while signing the nikkahnama. The anguish whilst giving up the parental rights of Chahat was the worst punch to his gut, a slap to soul and torture to his bereaving mind which was naive enough to believe he would be let off easily.

No, Shehrzaad had made him sigh a few conditions, all horrible in his favor.

Chahat would never have Shehryar's name. He would be a father figure to her but until she turns eighteen, he will have no say in her or Shehrzaad's life.

At any point of their life, if Sherzaad felt threatened or unsafe in anyway, she will have the right to nullify their nikkah in court and Chahat's custody will be handed to Sherhzaad.

And many as such conditions were made to get signed by him, that offered her complete protection and security and still managed to punished Shehryar in their own ways. To some he hesitated in signing, to some he was unwilling. But nonetheless, at end of the day, she had the last say, just like he had promised many nights ago.

***

"I have just made a way into your life. Watch me as I make the way in your heart next." He promised himself, glancing to his side at his quiet wife and little bundle of their joy in her lap as he drove them to their new life, leaving eventful memories and compassionate old couple behind.

"My daughter may have made me take you back, but you willl never be able to enter my heart." Sherhzaad told her self, gazing out of the window with determined eyes and fierce heart. Chahat beaming in her lap.

Both stubborn souls seemed resolute in their motives. Only time was to tell, whose stubborness will make the final mark in their history.

*The End.*