Chapter 31: Chapter 31

Russeli pulled me in and hugged me and I couldn't push him away, not at that moment, my eyes dilated and my lips paused, deep down I wanted this hug, to be in his embrace, to feel his warmth, to let his warmth envelop me, but I still had to get my act together.

I pushed him away. "What the heck do you think you are doing!" I shouted and he flinched, but his eyes were still on me and he lifted his hands to his chest as I glared at him icily.

"I was just pretending to check our heartbeats." He said softly and my heart sank, this was all pretence but I reacted like a fool. "But, it doesn't sound in harmony." He finished his speech and my face turned pale.

In the past when he had hugged me, he told me that he loved me, but it was different today. I saw his expression change suddenly and he stepped back a bit and held his forehead like he was dizzy, but I was too distracted to notice any other thing.

His words about pretence had annoyed me and it seems I have reacted that way for nothing. "Don't even do that without my permission." I turn and walk away.

I woke up from sleep that evening and came out of my room to see Russeli setting the dining table. The aroma of the food was pleasant, so I walked over to the table. "What are these?" I asked him and he looked at me.

"You are awake, come, have a seat, I prepared rice and beef soup, I am sure you will love it." He drew back a chair and I sat down, remembering how I prepared this meal for him, this was one of his favourites and he learnt how to prepare it from me.

"Take a bite." He brought a spoonful to my lips and I ate it and then chewed as he stared at me. "How is it?"

I looked up at him and a smile spread through my face as I gave him a thumb up. "It is the best." I picked up my spoon and shoveled more into my mouth as he watched me with smiles. "It has been a long time since I ate this."

"Then you should eat them a lot now." He told me and continued eating. I stopped eating and looked at myself, he noticed this and stared at me. "What is wrong?"

I glance up at him. "I am not in the right dress." I put down my spoon and was about to get up when I heard his deep voice.

"There is nothing wrong with what you are wearing." He looked me over and my eyes followed his gaze. "You are pretty the way you are."

For a moment I was silent to his compliment, but this time I wasn't going to fall for it. I laughed it out. "Good pretence, but I don't dress this way in America for dinner." I was dressed in the clothes I went to sleep in, a sleeveless and transparent dress. I had rushed out because of the delicious aroma from the meal and had not had the time to change into something more suitable.

A smile curled up in his lip and he waved his hands. "You should enjoy being free since you are here, and also, apart from me, no other person will know and whereas we are inside this villa and not out at a restaurant or so." He blinks with a smile.

Oh, I miss this side of Russeli! We looked just like a newly wedded couple.

"Okay then. " I relaxed and picked up my spoon to continue eating the handmade meal, prepared specially for me. "When we are done, we should go practice some more," I told him and he nodded.

I was beginning to act and think south, I need to get my mind and heart straight and not think of what may not be possible between us.

After the meal, we sat down in the music room by the piano stand. Russeli was sitting next to me as I turned to me. "You can play well, why don't we try to compose a song?"

"Good idea." He took over the piano and I watched him as he played the first harmony. He began singing the first three lines of the music he was making. Through the beat, I added a few lines of mine and it seemed to rhyme.

We continued singing and composing the love song while stealing a few glances at each other with smiles on our faces. This was just like the past when we sat by his piano stand and played music together. In just a short while in the past, we have done a lot together.

How time flies!

I was in thought while staring at Russelli, not knowing that the music was long over and he was coming in for a kiss. When I blinked, he was already a breath away from me, so I immediately covered my lips and got up.

"What are you trying to do!" I said in a loud voice with a furrowed brow. "Don't you remember when I said you should not fall in love with me!" He got up and wanted to say something but I raised my hands. "We are here to practice!" I barked, not even knowing why I was so pissed when I also wanted to be kissed by him.

I was a hypocrite now, the other night I had kissed him because I was aware that he wouldn't remember when he woke up, but here I am acting like I didn't want it. My love sucks!

I scoffed and then run my hand through my hair, I was stupid to think this vacation will make him remember anything about me, I thought he would remember the past he has with Malinda, but he was here falling in love with Natasha.

The crazy thing here is that the two names belong to the same person, but still I was getting angry and worn out.

"It seems you have finally developed your feelings and emotions and you are ready to sing, pack your things we would leave here tomorrow," I said the words and I watched Russeli hold his head with his two hands and look down.

"Tomorrow?" He muttered, but I was on the verge of tears at the moment that I could no longer stay here and hear him out, so I walked away to my room, as tears rolled down my cheeks.

We arrived at my apartment in Seoul the next day, Russeli returned to his house and I sat down on my couch thinking back to the trip we had just embarked on. I got what I wanted but I still ran far away from it.

He hugged me and went in for a kiss, but at the last moment I ran from it. We went on that trip and acted. If we continue that act, then our feelings will be based on activity and it won't do us any good in the end. It was better this way.

If I don't get close to him, and if he doesn't find out about me, then it would be for the better. I better stop my feelings for him else my secret would be revealed and Mr Gilbert will know what me and then all I had worked for would be useless.

It would be better if he loves someone else and not me anymore, loving me will only bring bad fate to the both of us, just like what happened in the past, this should be as far as we go.