Chapter 59: Chapter 59

She just got back from her evening strolling that she did everyday ever since she reached 9th month. With the way she has been feeling lately, she knew anytime soon the baby would arrive. Mahmud had noticed that and he has been keeping a close eye on her. They don't talk much but he has been so helpful to her. He made sure she lacked nothing from what she needed for the baby’s arrival to what she wanted to eat. He called her all the time to check up on her whenever he was at work. They didn't say much but she enjoyed every conversation they've had together.

She entered her room and settled down on the beanbag chair she asked him for last month. She closed her eyes feeling her back aching and her swollen legs getting sore. She had completely changed. She gained weight, her neck especially and she hated that. Her face didn't change much and she was glad about that. She wouldn't want her pointed nose to grow bigger and flat.

She stayed at that position for a while till she felt her back easing. She stood up from the beanbag chair and headed into the bathroom to perform ablution. After she had prayed maghrib, she went out of the room to find something to eat. That was the fifth time she would be eating that day. She hated that part of being pregnant. She had to eat even if she didn't feel like eating. She looked through the window to see if he was back but no sign of his car. She hissed softly and closed the curtain. He always came home early for her ever since she entered her 9th month.

She entered the kitchen to cook her dinner. She was half way through when she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen but she ignored it. It had been happening for the past two days. All she wanted was to get that baby out of her and be at ease. she hurriedly finished her dinner and headed out.

She paused and grimaced in pain same time he entered the house. She knelt down, keeping the tray on the floor. He knelt down in front of her, “hey, manha. Is it time? Is the baby coming?” He asked, timidly. She smiled and shook her eyes. She slowly stood up holding her back. “It’s not time, yet, it’s just contractions,” she responded. He took the tray and handed it to her. She murmured and thank you, smiling. “But it’s almost time right? Are you sure we shouldn't go to the hospital now?” He asked worriedly. She couldn't stop smiling at the way he actually showed his concern about her. “I’m okay, really. I will definitely inform you immediately when I feel it’s time.” She said and he nodded.

She walked away and entered her room. He dragged his feet to his room also. No matter how angry he was, he still feel drained seeing her in that condition. She was clearly not okay. But whenever he tried talking to her about it, she always smiled and told him she was okay and somehow, he felt guilty for what he has done to her over the months that had passed. He was so confused about all that has been happening. He knew if mujahid was the father, she would definitely confess after all the silent treatment he gave her. He prayed that what she had told him before was the truth even though it was not a positive one.

She ate her dinner after she had prayed isha. She sat on the beanbag chair and dialled on mommy’s number hoping she would pick. She knew if she didn't pick it was either she wasn't close to the phone or her father was at home. Her eyes glittered when she heard mommy’s voice. “Good evening mommy. I hope I’m not disturbing.” She said. That was the third time she was calling mommy that day. She was really scared because of the pain she had been experiencing.

“How can you ever disturb me Maryam? How are you doing? How’s the pain?” She asked with so much concern. Maryam heaved a sigh, “it’s kind of getting worse but.... But it’s not yet time to go to the hospital, trust me mommy. I know you would definitely say that.”

Mommy chuckled and shook her head. “Just because you're a doctor that doesn't mean you should risk your life. You have never given birth before, maryam. Please the next time you will feel any pain, you should tell him to take you to the hospital, okay? I wish you a safe delivery, my dear.”

With those words, she knew mommy wasn't going to be there even when she gives birth. She wasn't coming but she had to understand the situation they were all in. “Okay mommy, in sha Allah I will do as you said,” she stated.

“And please take good care of yourself. I wanted to send you a maid but that would be hard because I know your father would definitely find out about it, so call me or text me whenever you have a question concerning the baby.”

Maryam felt anxious and weepy. She wanted her mother to be there. She wanted her to be there, so bad. “Don't you cry please, you will be fine, okay? Allah ya sauke ki Lafiya,” she prayed and maryam murmured ameen. She sniffed and pushed back the tears. “Thank you mommy. I will call whenever I needed help with the baby. But....” She let her words trailed off but mommy urged her to speak up. “Is this how I will continue living with someone that's not my Muharram when my parents are still alive? Mommy I really want to come back home. I don't like living here with him and it’s not because he does anything that makes me unhappy, no. I just want to come back home,” she lamented. This time she couldn't stop the tears. By Allah she was really tired of crying all the time. It had became one of her hubbies now. It drained away some parts of the pain she felt in her heart.

“I.... I also don’t know my dear. I have been speaking to your father about it and he always dismissed the conversation. I know he misses you, I have seen him countless times looking at your pictures. I just don't know why he can't forgive you and let you come back home. I assure you in sha Allah I will keep trying to convince him and everything will be okay.”

She retrained herself from crying and they talked more before ending the call. She kept the phone on the side drawer and stood up. She wanted to sleep early that night. She was about to slip into the bed when she felt a very intense pain. She grimaced and crunched down holding her lower abdomen.

She knew the baby was coming because with each contraction came a pain that dominated her entire being. The pain was so intense than she had ever imagined. Her stomach tightened, she heard her own scream without being aware of making it. She laid down there on the cold floor, waiting for agony to subside. “Manha?” He called out reaching to her. He was about to pass by to the kitchen when he heard her screaming. She opened her bloodshot eyes and looked at him. “It’s time, right?” He asked and she slowly nodded before the pain came again and she couldn't help but scream again.

He had no idea what to do. “Mahmud help me and take me to the hospital before I die!” She clamoured, feeling another unbearable pain. He picked her up despite how heavy she was and took her to the living room. He rushed up to his room and got the car keys. He took her to the car before rushing back and claimed the bag he knew she packed the baby’s clothes and everything she'd need.

Within few minutes, they were at the hospital and maryam was wheeled Into the maternity ward. He paced around the waiting room thinking of what to do exactly. He never thought he would be that worried about her till that day. He fetched for his phone from his pocket to call her mother. He called twice but she didn't answer the call.

Who was he going to call now? Ummah? And tell her what exactly when his father had strictly warned them not to ever associate with him again. He slumped down on the chair and tried breathing in and out. The room was suffocating him. His breaths came in gasps and and he felt like he would blank out. His heart hammering inside his chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its life.

An hour had passed and there was still no sign of anyone coming out from where she was taken. He stared at the black-framed wall clock for the ninth time that hour, scrutinizing the second hand, which seemed to linger an extra minute at every passing second. He took his gaze off of the clock and massaged his temple, silently vowing to not look at it once more until it was necessary.

After half an hour, the door got opened by the one of the doctors. He approached mahmud with a huge grin. Mahmud knew definitely she has given birth by the looks of it and he knew exactly what the doctor was going to say. “Congratulations,” the doctor stretched out his hand and mahmud took it. “The wait is over.Your wife has safely delivered a baby girl. They're both in good health and you will be able to see them in few minutes.”

Mahmud puts on a happy face like he was really happy about. He thanked the doctor. He waited by the door while the doctor walked back in. Few minutes later, she was wheeled out of the place to a private room. He entered the room after the nurses had left. She was holding the baby, staring at her face with her bloodshot eyes. He stood by the door looking at her shedding tears while she hugged her baby.

He heaved a sigh and approached them. She looked him and wiped her tears with her other hand. “Why are you crying? You have delivered safely and you're in good health, the baby also. Or do you need anything?” He inquired, looking at her to the baby.

“What would I say to this child when she grows up and ask me about her father huh? How would I face the world with this child that I don't even know who exactly is her father? I mean... who am I kidding... you will not understand what I am saying when you don’t even believe a word I've said to you about how I got pregnant.” She averted her gaze from him to her baby.

He stared at her tired face for brisk second. He was out of words. What was he even going to say exactly? Apologize? Console her? He knew he had done pretty awful things to her when she needed him the most. He shut her down and hurt her in the most brutal way he could. But he did it to protect his heart. She has hurt him so bad that he turned into a monster.

“Listen, manha, I am awfully sorry for the things I've done to you. It’s just that...” He trailed off and heaved a sigh. He pulled a stool and settled down beside the bed. “I was so angry and confused. And I thought what your father said was the truth. And I knew if you were to do it on purpose, it would be with my brother,” he spoke further more. She chuckled softly and shook her head. Her eyes were fixed on the baby that was peacefully sleeping in her arms.

“No matter what I would do, I will never fornicate,” she said and looked at him. “I’m sorry I misjudged you, please forgive me. I’m ready to listen to everything you'd tell me,” he declared. she stared at him in awe. Now was the time he wanted to listen? When he had hurt her so many times? When he made her life miserable and worthless? “Please forgive me,” he said again. He knew what she was thinking when she stared at him that way. She slowly nodded, “I forgive you.”

“Can I.... Hold her?” He asked and she smiled before nodding. She handed the baby to him and he carefully held her. He didn't know how exactly he felt about the baby. she was cute, definitely. She looked like her mother. “I don’t know who did this to me. I don't know what exactly I have done to the person that sent those men to rape me.” She wiped the tears away even though they wouldn't stop falling. She told him exactly what happened. And by the time she was done with her story, the tears wouldn't even stop flowing. She was so in pain. She felt traumatised especially when she gets a flash back about the day it happened.

“I promise you, in sha Allah I will try my best and find out who did this to you. They would definitely be punished for this and we will fix things with our parents, okay? You should stop crying now, I’m here for you. I will not leave your side again.” He vowed. She beamed and nodded. She wiped her tears away and laid down on the bed. “You should get some sleep now, I will be with the baby before you wake up.”

**

The next day, she was discharged and they went home. She settled down in the living room holding the baby while waiting for him to come in with their stuff. She stared at the baby thinking how their lives would be. Was she really going to keep staying here with mahmud? For the rest of her life?

“What are you thinking about?” He asked dropping the baby bag beside her. She looked up and smiled. Her eyes watering but she blinked back the tears. “I was just thinking of a name for the baby,” she retorted. He made an O shape with his mouth before settling down on the one seater. “Do you have a name you like?” He asked and she shook her head. “I really don't have any idea,” she replied shaking her head.

“I have a name I always wanted to name my daughter,” he said and her bulged out. “And you want to name this baby with it? Why?” She implored, stunned. He chuckled and nodded, “why not? I will take her as my daughter. She doesn't have to know about anything.”

Her lips curved upwards. Finally, her best friend was slowly coming back. “I want to name her Amatullah, servant of Allah. I always loved that name and I promised to name my first daughter if my wife gives birth to a girl.” He said, looking at her stupefied expression. He chuckled, “why are you shocked? This would be between you and I. She doesn't have to know anything about this, right? And you owe no one an explanation so Stop worrying about that.” He assured her.

“But.... Mahmud...” Her words trailed off. She heaved a sigh. She had to ask sooner or later to feed her curiosity. She was more than glad that mahmud was going to take her daughter as his but they can’t continue living that way. “Is this how we are going to continue living? Not married?” She inquired in a low tone.

His smiled widened a bit and he looked away. He slowly stood up from where he was sitting and looked at her. “It’s getting late, you should get some sleep. If you need anything, just call me.” And then he walked away. She looked at his retreating back till he disappeared. She stood up also, placing the baby’s head on her shoulder. She walked into her room, her curiosity building like a cat fixated upon its prey. What did he mean by that?