Chapter 58: Chapter 58

It has been four months already and she could count the times she had seen him in the house, left alone having a conversation. What they did was nothing like a conversation. They only spoke when he wanted them to. And it was always the same utterance, “do you need anything? How are you feeling? If you have any problem concerning clothes, food or anything don't hesitate to inform me.” It was always the same thing and it annoyed her. She wanted to speak with him, have a long good convo like the old times, not act like strangers. It was torturing.

The past four months wasn't easy. Mommy had visited her only twice and mahmud had no idea about it because he was always not around. Aydah too had visited thrice. She came every month and they'd talk the whole time till aydah had to leave. That too Mahmud had no idea. He has no idea anyone comes visiting her. If he knew, he would stop them, well her mother excluding. He can't stop her from coming.

She was already six months far and it was her fourth month in the house. She was excited because her mother called earlier and told her she was coming. She woke up early and did some chores in the house and made breakfast for herself. After she had eaten, she sat down going through her phone even though there wasn't much to do with it. She had never gotten bored like she has been ever since he brought her to his house. She wore her hijab and slippers then headed out of the room. As usual, there wasn't anyone at the living room. She didn't care because she was already used to not seeing him.

She went out to her favourite place, the garden and walked around to refresh her mind. Though life didn't go as she always planned, all she could do was thank Allah. She had her health, she was alive, she wasn't homeless, she was well educated. She had so many things to thank Allah for.

She looked down at her baby bump when the baby moved. She smiled. This wasn't the way she pictured her first pregnancy to be. It was completely different from what she had always imagined and prayed for. She always imagined her being pregnant and taken cared of by her husband. She always imagined having her cravings satisfied, being pampered whenever the pregnancy hormone initiates or when she wanted attention. Having her legs massaged or asked what would she like to eat. She had so many wishes that she doubt if it will ever come true. Who would ever want to marry a woman that everyone thinks she’s a prostitute. She chuckled and shook her head. Life was tough. It wasn't treating her right, but she was still grateful.

Her phone vibrated, before looking she knew it was her mother. She smiled and answered the call. “You're at the door? I will be there now,” she said and ended the call. She walked back into the house and went to the front door. She opened the door and engulfed her mother in a gentle hug. Mommy couldn't believe that she was really pregnant till now that she had seen the baby bump. All the times she had visited the bump wasn't visible.

“Mommy, I’m so happy you’re here. Please, come in,” she said clearing her tears. She always cried whenever mommy came and when she was leaving. She wished she could follow her back home.

They entered the living room and settled down. “How are you doing, my dear? I brought the apricots you asked for,” mommy said keeping the leather that had it in it on the centre table. “Thank you very much mommy. I've been craving for that since last three days. How’s daddy?” She asked. She couldn’t hold it anymore. “Is he still mad at me?” She inquired, petrified. Mommy smiled at her and squeezed her hand. “All this will be over before you know it, okay? Don't worry yourself too much.” Mommy soothed massaging her hand. “Now I see this baby is really growing so fast,” she quickly dismissed the conversation when maryam tried to protest. She hated seeing her daughter in pain but she had to be strong for her. Maryam simpered and nodded, “I tend to get hungry whenever it starts moving nonstop. Was this how you felt? I mean getting tired always, feeling heavy, craving for unnecessary weird things, sometimes you don't get much enough sleep.”

Mommy laughed, “you're a doctor and you shouldn't be surprised with what you’re going through and you're just... six months far now right?” Maryam nodded smiling. “Yes mommy I know but I didn't know that it wouldn't be easy. Imagine if I reach eight month or already in the 9th month or in labor. Huh,” she spoke, baffled. “You will be there for me right mommy?” She asked looking at mommy’s worried eyes. Mommy smiled a little. “I can’t promise you that, my dear. I had a huge fight with your father last month when he learnt that I have been visiting you. I just can't take being away from you no matter what he would do. I’m afraid to leave you all alone to yourself.”

Maryam kept staring at her for seconds. She was afraid if she opened her mouth to speak, she would cry. And for a moment she thought her life was getting a little bit better but it was getting tougher. She heaved a sigh and nodded. “Mommy I think you should get going now before he finds out again.” She said holding her mother’s hand. Mommy shook her head, “he's out of town and I told him I was going to my parents, that’s why I came. You shouldn't worry about what I have told you, okay? It’s nothing. I will always come visit you whenever I get the chance to.” She assured and engulfed her in a warm embrace.

They chit chatted for what seems like just a minute to maryam but it had been hours. Whenever mommy attempted to leave she’d stop her and start crying that she was all alone and bored. They heard the door being opened and he appeared. He was in his pilot uniform. She looked at his face to his well built body and sighed. She was really in love with him, no doubt. I she had accepted him at the right time she would've been happily married a year ago but now she doubts if he even likes her, left a lone the word love.

He never looked her way. He entered the living room, smiling at mommy. “Good afternoon mommy,” he greeted squatting down a bit. She felt embarrassed all of a sudden. “How are you doing, mahmud? How’s work?” She asked, smiling.

They finished exchanging pleasantries and he left the living room to his room upstairs. Mommy stood up from the sofa fixing her veil. “Ai koh bakiso I have to leave now,” she said taking her handbag from the centre table. Maryam pouted holding her mother’s hand. “Please mommy just wait till after Asr, please,” she pleaded giving her the best puppy face she could. “No maryam, as you can see he’s back and I can't be staying all day with him in the house.”

“But, he's not my husband....”

“But he is the owner of the house and I doubt if you told him I was coming.” She said as they walked out of the living room. “But he’s not my husband and I thought that wasn't necessary,” she shrugged. Mommy stood in front of her and held her shoulder. “This is his house, you can’t do whatever you want without at least telling him.” She noted and they walked out to mommy’s car together. She entered her car after unlocking it. “Next time I won't come till I make sure you've told him,” she concluded, starting the ignition. Maryam furrowed her brows and pouted. “Drive safe mommy,” she said and closed the door for her. She moved back a bit and watched as mommy drove out of the house. She hissed softly and walked back into the house. She was mad at him for no reason. She entered her room and laid down on her bed. She had been sitting down ever since mommy came. She didn't even care when she felt the backache or when her feet were getting sore. With her mother beside, she could even sit on the most uncomfortable chair in the world, she didn't care.

She closed her eyes snuggling into the comforts of the soft bed. She wanted to take a nap so badly but it was almost time for prayers. The door got swung open and she opened her eyes. She looked at his livid face. She sat up right waiting to hear what brought him to her room when he had never entered. They both stared at each other without uttering a word. She was scared of how he looked at her. He had changed a lot. He gets angry easily. He barely showed her his anger but now it was all she sees whenever they accidentally meet.

“Why didn't you tell me your mother was coming? I don't want to see anyone coming into my house. You even have the audacity to do that without my permission?” He seethed not caring if he would hurt her feelings or not. She tilted her head, looking at him in awe. Is he for real? This isn't the mahmud she loves and know. Why was he being so cold and rude to her. “Unbelievable,” she murmured shaking her head. “That’s my mother you're talking about, mahmud!” She reminded him. “And what’s there if someone visits me? So what if I don't tell you? If I could remember I never begged you to let me stay in your house,” she spoke, unbothered with what he would do or say to her.

He laughed, critically because that was the only way to restrain him from saying something they will both regret. But he still did, “My house, my rules! Stick that in your brain! You cant’t do whatever you want whenever you want thinking I wouldn’t do or say anything. And for your information, I only saved you because I knew you were going to be kicked out and you wouldn't have any place to go. oh geez now I regret even helping you! You're just so selfish” He rubbed the space between his eyes when uttered the last sentence. “I should've really allowed the father of the child take you with him when he came to take you.”

She looked at him with a bewildered expression. Father of the child? Who? What did he meant by that? “What do you mean father of the child?” She implored looking at his face that showed nothing but agitation. He let out a chuckle and shook his head. “Don't pretend like you don't know what I mean! You know who I'm talking about, manha! You know how you got yourself pregnant and you know who the father is,” he accused. She shut her eyes closed, taking deep breaths. She wasn't going to cry, no not in front go him, but her hormones were giving her away.

She looked at him with her bloodshot eyes, “don't accuse me of what I did not do, mahmud. And you should mind what you say to me,” she said through gritting teeth. They both stared at each other, thinking of a way to hurt each other. He knew if he spoke again, things would get a lot more complicated than it already was. He walked out of the room and gently closed the door.

This time she wasn’t sad or feeling guilty, she felt angry. She still loves him dearly but he was slowly turning that love into hatred with his accusations. How could he actually thought that mujahid was the father of her baby? Who told him that? Why was he thinking that way? What has actually gotten into mahmud’s head with his behaviours lately?

The tears that she had been holding flowed down unchecked. She had to cry out the pain and anger. She was having a difficult emotions that’s making her to think of even committing suicide to be at ease. Or even run away and never return. But whenever she tried to do one of the two, she always remembered her mother. How she had gone through storms and hurricanes for her. Put her marriage at risk just to make her happy. oh how she loved her mother wholeheartedly. She didn't know what she would've done if her mother actually didn't believe her also. Life would've been much more harder. Even though it was already tough for her, she believed she would pass through that wicked hurricane and be happy for once in her life. She still have hope in having a normal, happy life like some people had.

**

She unlocked the house and entered. She was so drained and tired. She entered the living room and slumped on the sofa. She had sore feet but that was even her least problems. She couldn't wait to get the baby out, it was draining her. She was now in her 7th month. Mahmud was out of town for about two weeks now. She was all alone and she loved it. She found peace being all alone and she wished he wouldn't come back anytime soon but told her he would be back in a month and he had already spent two weeks. She still had two more weeks to enjoy being alone.

She stood up slowly and took her handbag to her room. She took another bath to wash away the stress and tiredness. She went to the hospital today for another appointment. She was doing great, the baby also. She couldn't wait to get it out, it really made her deteriorate.

She finished with her bath and performed ablution. She sauntered out and got dressed. After she had prayed dhuhr, she went to the kitchen and made a quick snack. All she wanted was to eat and sleep. She wasn't even done eating when she heard the door bell. She wondered who could that be as she walked to the door. Maybe it was mommy or aydah. She smiled brightly and opened the door. Her smile vanished the moment their eyes met. She knew things were about to get really bad now. “So it’s true, you're really pregnant,” she rowdies and laughed hysterically. Maryam furrowed her brows and looked at them.

“You really thought I was joking when I said she is?” Nadia asked looking at fadila. They laughed and mocked her. Nadia pushed her out of the way and entered. She till didn't say anything to them. They entered the living room and settled down like they actually came to do something positive. “Please, the owner of the house would not be happy with your visit. Kindly get up and leave,” she stated, tamely but they laughed instead. “You mean the person you blamed for getting you pregnant to tarnish his family’s image and separate him from his family?” Nadia asked, looking at her, repugnantly. Maryam smiled, fed up but she let it slide.

“I do not wish to vent my anger on any of you. It’s better you respect yourselves and get out of this house,” she was getting out of patience now. Fadila and Nadia exchanged looks. “Aww, are you angry or hurt? But we haven't even said anything hurtful yet,” fadila cooed at her smiling like she really meant it. “You accused my innocent brother for getting you pregnant when we all know that all you do in your life was sleeping around with men. I mean, who didn't know? If you could follow a guy all the way to Bora Bora what else weren't you capable of doing?” Fadila spat nonchalantly. She looked at maryam’s expression and smirked. She knew her words would definitely hurt her.

Maryam crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. She was tired and standing but she didn't feel the need to sit. “That’s good then. Yes, I admit I have followed a guy out of the country which happens to be your brother and everyone knows I went there with aydah and he was the one that asked me to. And for you Nadia, I hear you saying I accused mahmud or whatever. Why would I accuse him when I clearly know the father of the is mujahid, your husband?” She looked at Nadia’s horror stricken face. She knew this was the only way to hurt her. She didn't even care about fadila, really. All she wanted was to hurt Nadia like she always had always hurt her.

“What? You slut, you can't say that about my husband, you are freaking lying. You have nothing to offer to him....”

“If I don't why did he ask for my hand in marriage? Why was he going so crazy about me that he couldn't restrain himself and got me pregnant? You should go ask him and hear for yourself. Please when you're done, close the door.” She finished talking tiredly and walked into her room. Nadia looked at her retreating back in stupefy. How did that happen? Her husband really did that? No wonder he had been acting up for the past few months. He was barely himself now. Heck, she hardly even sees him at the house.

Ever since she got maryam raped, she had never been at ease. She thought after the wedding has been canceled and he learnt she was pregnant, he would let go of that and they would go back to the way they used to be, but it was other wise. She even preferred when he wasn't home because all they do was fight or don’t even speak to each other. If he was really the father of the child, what does that mean?

She furious stood up and left the house. Fadila followed her back but before she could do anything, Nadia had already left. She placed her hand on her head, panicky. Who even asked her to follow Nadia at the first place now she had left her and she didn't even bring her wallet with her.

She parked the car at the parking lot roughly. Luckily, he was home. She marched into the house and went to his room. He was on his table designing his next project. He looked up at her annoyingly. He already knew she was either going to perturb him till he got irked and send her out or leave the room for her.

“We need to talk, now!” She insisted, arms akimbo as she tapped her foot on the tiles. “Go ahead,” he urged keeping the pencil on his board. “What have I done to you mujahid? Why would you do that to me?” He was puzzled, “stop speaking in puzzle Nadia, just be straight forward. What have I done now?” He asked, tamely. “You have the audacity to ask me what you've done after getting her pregnant, seriously? Was that the best thing you could do to hurt me after all what I have done for you after all the sacrifice,” she clamoured at the top of her voice. He raised one brow and laughed. She had obviously gone crazy and she proved to him she was when she removed one of her heels and threw it at him but he luckily dodged.

He looked at her, “is something wrong with your head, Nadia? Are you crazy? How could you throw that sharp object at me?” He asked and she also laughed hysterically. “Who’s the laughing object now? Just look at yourself! You're so disgusting to me. Perpetrating adultery? Fear Allah, mujahid....” He immediately cuts her off because he knew Nadia was good at spatting nonsense. “Between you and I who is actually supposed to fear Allah more? I wasn't the one who aborted our babies twice.....”

She felt something caught her throat and her heart skipped a beat. How did he knew she had abort their babies twice? She found out she was pregnant again last three months and without having a second thought, she aborted it too. She stood there in fear and stuttered. He chuckled and shook his head. “And about maryam, yes I did it, so what? What does that have to do with you? You aborted our babies twice, I didn't say anything about it so why would you bother about what I have done?” He asked looking at her horror-stricken face. “And the moment she gives birth, I will still marry her and take care of the baby since you've refused to let us have one.” He gently stood up and left her in the room, speechless.

How did he found out about her abortion? Was that the reason why he changed? It must be! Why were things now getting complicated for her? And the only person that would get her out of this muddle was her mother but she was still angry with her for marrying mujahid. There was no way she would face her grandmother or her aunt, Samira with this kind of talk.

She paced around the room, thinking of a possible way out to end Maryam for good, that was her main problem at that moment. She smiled heinously and walked out of the room. She had a brilliant way to hurt Maryam and get away with it without having any trace she did it.