Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Its past midnight and Charlie’s not at home yet. R u coming?, I text him.

I put my phone next to me and open the fridge. There’s still left over pizza from yesterday, I take and put it in the microwave for three minutes.

My phone buzzes, and I hope it’s from Charlie but it’s my mom. I’m sorry.

Now she realizes pain. But I am not forgiving her easily, six years of the same pain. Only following their orders and tortures and I am sick and tired of it.

I got accepted into the college they wanted me to but I never wanted to go there. I never did, it was their wish that wanted me to become a business person like them, and I’ve always wanted to become a graphic designer even though I really love intruding into someone’s account I love graphics, I love designing things. Kezya was good at drawing and doodling and I am very good at animating them. We always wanted to go to New York where we’d rent a room and go to the same college but those days seem impossible. They don’t exist anymore.

Maybe I could still go to New York and take up those computer designing courses in NYU I applied for.

I applied when Kezya was still alive, we both did. And the results are coming soon.

I got into that college whatever my parents applied to, but I want NYU and graphic designing.

Maybe, there’s still hope.

My phone buzzes again, this time it’s Charlie.

Still here, ruby is nowhere to be seen.

I notice the mistakes in his texts, he was big on grammar even while texting. This is so un-like him.

Don’t be late. I text him back.

After my encounter with Charlie earlier today, I feel free. I am still hurt but I am fine. If I hadn’t said what I said, I would have struggled till my death of what would have happened if I told.

There’d be too many regrets.

Now that I know he doesn’t see me that way, I can feel free, that I don’t have to betray Kezya.

The timer goes off in the oven. I run over and turn it off. I take the pizza out and serve it in my plate.

And finish it in a complete silence. It’s eerily quiet in a big place like the Grays’ mansion.

I walk upstairs and turn towards the guest room but I stop short at Charlie’s room, the door is wide open and I have a sudden surge to enter and take a look at his room. I hesitate but I have been here twice already. So, what’s going to hurt?

I enter the room and it looks just the same since when I entered the last time. Messy and heap of clothes lay on the floor, photos scattered and beautiful vases and antiques broken. I could see all of Charlie’s moods in one place.

I walk towards the bed and gasp at how dirty the blankets are. They are full of coffee stains and God knows what else. I notice that all the cupboards and drawers are open and one of the files have fallen down from it.

I grab it. We are pleased to inform you that you’ve got the admission at our prestigious university—Wharton.

I gasp out loud; I thought he was going to USC, like he always said, full scholarship.

I never really understood why he’d want a scholarship, he could go anywhere he pleases with the money he has. I place the letter back where it was.

He got into one of the Ivy Leagues, very prestigious. I can only dream of going. I mean my grades are perfect and all, but I never really wanted to go to ‘prestigious’ places like they put it.

I place it back and realize its happening. We’ll graduate, I will graduate and move to other places but Kezya won’t.

And she’s not even here to celebrate Charlie getting into Ivy League and he never told me.

I realize tears are falling and I am weak in my knees to stand on my own so, I sit on Charlie’s bed and lie down. All those dreams Kezya wondered and always planning her perfect life is not here. It’s always me who ended up crying and she was there to wipe them, not now. She will never be.

The only comfort is Charlie’s fragrance, lemon and burnt wood from the bed and I drift away to find a little girl with shiny black hair and blue eyes run away, far, into the darkness.