Chapter 13: Chapter 13

Three Years Ago

This is the new start — freshmen year.

New beginnings.

I get dressed up and I don't care about what I am wearing because, anyways nobody is going to see me or talk to me and I don't care about that because I have been a loner in middle school and I guess will be one in High School too.

Mom said high school is a big part of every child's life and maybe it is true.

I think the bullying will stop this year and maybe I will date Charlie. I think for a second how it will be.

Nah. Too many girls in the queue.

I get downstairs and eat my breakfast. I sit on my usual place which is the left chair near the speakers where I hear the songs daily morning and hum to it.

"Honey, your grades matter a lot if you need to get into Yale. Good grades get you into good college. Remember that"

"Yeah mom, I remember"

I finish my breakfast and get to the door.

"Bye mom" I yell. "Bye honey. Have fun" I roll my eyes, little does she know what high school is like.

I walk to the school because Deorgon High is near my house.

I used to take the bus to my middle school. I kind of miss it now.

For some reason I want to disappear but also I want to stay and see what happens. I was not a popular girl in middle school and I don't believe I will be one in High School. I never had friends, maybe in Deorgon High, I will have some. Maybe.

Maybe.

I always hated that word. It messes with my mind. It is never will or will not. It's always maybe. Maybe I will have friends or Maybe things would change. There is nothing positive in 'maybe', 'Maybe you could die' which may or may not going to be true.

Messy right? I know.

I see Charlie outside his house waiting. He is wearing black jeans and blue plain t-shirt and is tanned. Just simple. That is who Charlie is, plain and simple. Even though he is the son of Jamey Gray, even though he is super rich, he is just simple. No showing off. He even helps poor children for study purposes.

And he is my first crush.

I want to approach him but I am awkward and he sure would not like me. He must have heard rumors about me changing into a mole rat at night.

I try not to notice him and walk away and I pass him not making eye contact.

Thank goodne—"Hey, um- you're Kendal right?" I hear Charlie's voice which shoots up a shiver through my spine. I turn around and I am suddenly cautious of how am looking. Should I reply him or turn and walk away, what is he thinking about me? How does he know my name, maybe he hear that rumor. Oh my god. I need to calm down and I am sure I look a potato that is red. Argh, think something Kendal, I am internally groaning at myself. What should I say? What? Wha — "h-hey Charlie" I say and smile so wide, that it may look fake.

"You walking to school?" he asks scratching his head which is cute. He is maybe thinking why am I taking so long to reply him, "Yes" I say finally, I can feel my cheeks get hotter.

"Can I walk with you?" he asks which makes me crack up. He just stares at me confused. "I am sorry" I say in between my laughs, "Why do you want to walk with me?" I ask still laughing, I can't stop it for some reason.

"We go to the same school, you are walking and I am going to walk, so I thought we could be walk partners" He says the last part in a baby voice. I am melting. I am seriously melting, not from the sun, from his voice, from his perfection. Everything about him makes me want to melt.

"Yeah sure" I say shaking my head and smile. I am flushed and surprised that I am about to walk into the school with Charlie. Charlie Gray. All eyes are going to be on us.

We start walking toward the school, which is now a couple blocks from his house. This walk is so silent. The silence and the awkwardness in me is definitely going to kill me sooner or later. But he seems so cool and happy.

Looking him from the side is just a god's blessing. His jaw line and his hazel eyes are just 'wow'.

"How was your summer?" he asks turning his head my side. I shrug, "Just the same you know? Like, sit around read books, go to the falls and procrastinate on the works I need to do"

Yup. Summer was that boring, My family members are not summer people. They believe hard work will get you to where you want but for that they keep working and they expect me to do the same. They are so strict and I hate them for it.

"How was yours by the way?" I ask him and I know he is going to say something that I will never get to experience. He shakes his head smiling like he is remembering something funny. "I went to Europe, It was fun and I spent most of the days in the beach house just watching some movies" I knew it, he went to Europe, which I will never get to go. "Beach huh?" which explains his tanned body. "Yeah" he says in response.

We enter Deorgon High after ten minutes. We walk into the entrance. This campus is much bigger than Deorgon Middle.

"The bigger it is, the bigger the responsibility is" says my mom whenever we see a big building or something big.

Charlie walks two steps ahead of me and I keep walking noticing that all eyes on are me as I guessed; suddenly I bump into Charlie who have abruptly stopped. He turns back and our gazes meet, "Uh-um, sorry" I say all red. "its fine, Ken. Anyways, bye. I have English first period" he says, "I have English first period too, who is your teacher? Mine is Ms. Andrews" I say all surprised, and he says he have Ms. Andrews too.

We go to the class and sit next to each other. And the rest of the day went boring and no one has got a problem with me yet.

Three days later, I got a call from Charlie asking me to go to a movie with him. I got all excited but, my mom didn't allow me because it was Friday night and I have to study. I know I won't get this chance again, luckily she had got night shift in her office and she will reach tomorrow morning.

I wore a blue skinny jeans and a peach sweatshirt.

When I reached the movie theater, he was already waiting for me in a blue hoodie and blue pants. We got some popcorn and skittles, and he just rolled his eyes when I got them because he thinks all the color tastes the same but for me they every color has different taste.

The movie started twenty minutes ago and for every five minutes Charlie looked my way and it was hard keeping a straight face and the movie was a romance movie. I kept thinking if this was a date but I know we came to this movie as friends. After sometime, I felt Charlie's arm brushing mine, which gave me goose bumps and he looked my way again but I didn't turn. I know it would look like I loved that but he shouldn't know it.

He kept his hands on mine after ten minutes of his arm brushing on mine and this time I looked his way but he didn't look. He had a straight face. I turned my hand and intertwined my fingers in his. This time I stared hard at the screen and he looked my way again. He leaned in to say something but I didn't look his way. He didn't say anything and leaned back, watched the movie.

Till the movie ended, we were holding hands.

On our way home, he asked "What was that about?" and I replied "What?", when I clearly know what he was talking about. "Nothing" He said and smiled.

He stopped and turned the other way which was the road to Ann Brooke Falls.

"Why are you going that way?" I asked confused.

"Just, I feel like I want to go, you wanna come?"

My mom is going to come home next morning and being with Charlie is really worth the time. "Yeah, sure"

Ann Brooke Falls is really a beautiful place, It has a falls that people come in the morning to visit, but it is not that beautiful like it is at night in the morning.

We stare at the falls for some time and this time Charlie holds my hand and my face jerks up to his side and he faces me his time, and smiles and so am I.

The days went by, Charlie and me talked on the phone for all night long and we always talked about how stupid this world is.

A week later, I heard someone new came to our school and that she is beautiful and many other wonderful things about her.

In the lunch break, me and Charlie sat together and a girl with black shiny hair, blue eyes with brown bandanna , came our way and all the eyes on the cafeteria was on her. Charlie got up and said "This is Kezya, Kezya, this is Kendal".

I am confused, how did they meet and Charlie never told me?

I give out my hand for a shake, "Hey, I am Kendal Hughes. Nice to meet you". She shakes mine and says smiling "Kezya Cerise". We sit down and I ask "You guys know each other already?" Charlie smiles and Kezya answers "Yeah. C and me are in Physics together and we sit next to each other"

It kind of made me jealous that she gave him a nickname.

I just nod because I don't know how to answer to that. It's just something is aching in my heart.

I get up, "Sorry, guys. I just remembered that I have some research to do in the library. I will see you guys later", I pick up my tray and walk towards the entrance but I bump into someone and milk shake is spilled all over me and my food is on the floor. "Sorry" I say, but when I look up, It's Wesley. My middle school bully. All ganged up with his friends.

I am panicking. Before I can move from that place, all their trays come flying my way and it's painful, losing balance, I fall down, all the milkshakes and pasta falls on me.

Kezya comes running and pushes them and screams something at them which is inaudible to me.

But I made sure that was not going to cry. I did not cry. Nope. Not happening.

I got all taken care of and they sent me home.

When I came to school the next day people told me that Wesley and his friends were suspended.

I searched for Charlie, when I saw him, he was all happy, when I asked him what was the thing, he said he asked Kezya out yesterday.

My world was crashing and I had no idea what to do. I wanted to cry. I wanted to slap him but no, none of that happened. Instead I put on a fake smile and asked "What was her response?" just because I was trying to be happy for him.

"She didn't say anything yet" After that, I left the room. I heard nothing but his voice echoing and that night when we hung out in front of me like flashes.

That was my last talk with him and in English, he sat quietly next to me and never talked. Never. Even when I tried to talk. He just said he had some work and left.

A month later, Charlie and Kezya was a thing and the whole school shipped them, even me. Something said that I wasn't lucky enough to be with him and that Kezya was the perfect match for him.

Me and Kezya became best friends but it always ached that Charlie never talked me after being with her.

My crush has got crushed because it was no longer a crush.

And that was the time I realized that I love Charlie. My little crush on him in Middle School has now turned into a full grown love. He might be with someone else or love someone else but I know that the love I have for him will stay forever.

I’ve fallen for him once, it wouldn’t be hard again, when the time comes.

Whenever I walked the hallways passing Charlie, I tried not to look into his eyes. It was hard because, I know he would never be mine.