Chapter 37: Chapter 37

“I don’t want to talk right now. Please leave me alone, Jessie. I have a lot on my mind.’ I dashed to my bed, making sure the door was tightly shut and making sure no one was entering.

You might think I’m some miserable Alpha who only runs to her room and cries her eyes out, acting like a child when she faces a problem but I am at a loss here, my mate is being taken away from me, in front of my eyes and I can’t do anything to stop it, he was all I had.

I had been searching for him for years, and I had finally found him. Instead of him being together with me, he is with someone else and stupidly in love like he claims he is.

I hate him so much. I wish he wasn’t my brother and my mate.

A month had passed, since Emily and Gérard got married, it broke my heart and tore it into a thousand pieces, what was I supposed to do I couldn’t come out of my room.

I could only sob and curse Gérard a thousand times for abandoning me, he didn’t care or give it a second thought on what he was about to do.

My parents keep bugging me to come out of my chambers and be a princess. Will they ever understand what I’m going through?

How I was going to feel, how deeply he was hurting me, he only thought about himself and went on with his life, he left without seeing me for eight years and he just came back, saying I’m his mate and he wants us to forget ever being mates and think of our lives and that he was protecting me, fuck his protection, I don’t need it, he should go to hell for all I care and be with his wife.

Carmine also says, I should move on.

How am I supposed to do that, how could he even think of such a thing after everything he did to me after everything I went through, why was everyone abandoning me?

I’m left with only that jerk to get married to and I don’t know what to say to the bastard, if only he will stop pestering my family and leave me the fuck alone, then things will be better, instead he has made it a mission to torment me into getting married to him.

No one was thinking of my consistencies and how I was feeling. They only thought of themselves.

The next day, the instant I woke up, I got up from the bed, took off my clothes, and wore my pink pants and a bra because of how uncomfortable I was.

I could feel my stiff, bubbly breasts.

I loved how thick it was and the thought of Gérard cupping my breasts turned me on.

I know I shouldn’t be thinking and fantasizing about my brother who was married and probably enjoying a good time with his wife but I crave to be in his arms; I don’t know if this was love or the hormones which were raging in my torso and wanting me to get fucked, even though I am still a fucking virgin.

What was he doing right now? Was he thinking about me while in bed with Emily? Was he dreaming and fantasizing about getting into me, fucking me shitless? What was he thinking about right now? I rubbed my hands on my pants, thinking if his dick could fit into me because as far as I could remember, he was indeed huge. I wish I could see his manhood again.

I sat down on the bed, rubbing my pants on my pussy, moaning and feeling excited at how good it felt.

I could feel my breasts swelling up as I curved my back backward and rubbed it a little faster with my legs wide open.

Gérard’s image flashes through my head, his body, everything about him is so damn perfect..

Fuck.

Suddenly the door opened, I nearly screamed when I saw Gérard coming in. He was startled, but he quickly turned and muttered an “Excuse me”” and left my room in a haste.

I was astonished.

I didn’t know what to say. Why did he come to my room? I wanted to run after him, ask him what he wanted and the reason he came, but I stopped and I was not ashamed even one bit.

I was happy.

I wished he would come back and touch me. I wanted to sprint after him.

What was I going to tell him when he stopped and listened to what I had to say to him and the thought of his wife, the thought of him just recently getting married, made my blood boil and I was glad, relieved I had given it some thought and not run after him.

Deep within me, I was ecstatic he saw my body.

I hope he thinks about me all night and jerks off with his big dick while hiding in the bathroom, away from his wife.

I badly hope I can see how he does it while stroking his dick.

I know he loves acting all cool and all that, like he’s a strong Alpha and can’t be affected by emotions. Well, too bad he wouldn’t be able to get me off his mind tonight.

I had read a lot of books about how Alphas find it difficult to resist their mates and love to protect them.

I also read it in a book that they get affected by the bond little by little and what even makes it worse is when they are in love with their fated mates.

Well, I wish that were true. I know Gerard loves me. I could deem it in my bones.

No matter how he tries to hide it, I could see the love and affection in his eyes.

I went back to bed, touched myself with my legs wide open, and imagined his muscular body nearly filled with tattoos and his white hair hovering over me.

I know I have not seen his body recently but I could imagine it through the long sleeves he wears, those strong abs, his thick muscular legs, his big crotch.

Oh fuck.

“Gerard.’ I moaned.

I couldn’t wait to get fucked. I rubbed my pussy hastily, feeling the sweet sensation of how wet it made me hornier.

Recalling how he masturbated six years ago, calling out my name, made me rub it even faster, moaning in ecstasy, touching my soft breast with my other hand as I screamed and had an orgasm.

Fuck, that was incredible.

However, I didn’t stop there. I used my stuff, my pillow, and my fingers to fuck my asshole. I was so horny, I couldn’t help it and ended up masturbating till dusk.

I was weak when I got up with the reflection of the sun kissing my face and I immediately ordered the maids to help me up and took a warm bath after secretly cleaning up my mess.

It filled my thoughts with Gerard.