Chapter 58: Chapter 58

“Bianca, please don’t go. I love you I swear. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for things to go this far.”

Those words meant nothing to me. Empty promises like the rest of his words. His lies. He lied consistently and like an idiot I believed every word he said because I was so desperate to be desired. The same way I believed Siobhan’s words. She had my best interest at heart.

Right!

While fucking Aaron on the side.

My best friend! The girl I spent my childhood with. My other half, my sister. I trusted her like my flesh and blood and she didn't think twice about hurting me. With the boy I loved!

I trusted her and told her everything. We never kept secrets from each other. We never lied to each other! I never cheated on her with her boyfriends!

It all made sense now. The covert looks, the sneaky glances, the unwarranted touches from Siobhan on Aaron, the unsolicited advice asking me to think twice before having anything to do with him...it all made sense and like an idiot, I was too blind to see it. Even Andre had warned me that I was blinded by my loyalty to her.

It was getting so hard to breathe thinking about it and I wished Aaron would suddenly laugh and say it was all a joke and a prank to make me unprepared for the moment he asked me to be his girlfriend. But the look in his eyes told me the truth. This was no prank, this was real life.

As Aaron reached for me again I reached back and slapped his hand away, eager to get as far away as possible. I couldn’t bare to see the look on his face. I couldn’t bare to look into the face of a liar. After everything! All his words meant nothing. Mere words, that’s all they were. And I was foolish enough to believe them.

I was having a hard time breathing as I walked away from him only to collide with Mr. Jorge as he was coming over to the other side to open the front passenger door.

“Sorry,” I apologized quickly.

“Oh, sorry!” He said as he moved back quickly. I lowered my head so he wouldn’t see the tears burning in my eyes. He must have noticed that all wasn’t well because he asked, “Are you alright? You seem to be in an awful rush to get away.”

“Yes, yes, sir. I’m fine.” I didn’t wait for him to ask any questions again, I raised my face long enough to force a smile before lowering my head again to walk past him. Thankfully he did not try to stop me. And thankfully again, everyone was beginning to pile into the bus. I didn’t care about Aaron or the fact that he had been trying to hold me back when I walked away. I don’t care that Mr. Jorge might be interrogating him now trying to find out what happened. I didn’t care about anything as I climbed into the bus and took the seat behind the driver’s seat. I chose it because going to the back would mean being with everyone and everyone is excited, happy, and joyful because of the game but I cannot fake being happy right now when my heart is breaking into a million fragile pieces. I pressed my face against the window to look out and saw Aaron looking forlornly at me while Mr. Jorge was talking to him. I looked away, the tears struggling to fall but I ground my teeth together to keep them in check.

The rest of my classmates walked into the bus singing songs of victory and still cheering. I was the only one whose mood was dampened. The heat of the bus and the stench of sweat made me even more miserable.

Finally, after a few minutes, Mr. Jorge let Aaron go and he was the last person to enter the bus. I looked away from the entrance but I felt him stop for a brief moment, his eyes on me but I refused to look and after a while, he made his way down the aisle to join our other classmates.

As the bus began to move from the stadium tears began to leak from my eyes. I cried so hard but thankfully my sobs were muted by the din of conversation on the bus. My chest ached with the weight of my misery. My eyes burned with the heat of my tears. My throat ached with pain, burning, and too scratchy to swallow. In all of my life, I have never been so heartbroken. If there is something to say for always being the second to Siobhan it is that I have never experienced heartbreak before. The one time I thought my luck was changing for the best and I was dealt with such a heavy blow.

It was too much to bear.

I couldn’t see the dark streets illuminated by the streetlights as we passed by because my sight was so blurry.

I wanted to be left alone, that was why I sat in front after all but I was hurt that no one noticed my absence. They talked about the game, about the kisses and the party that was probably already even ongoing in school and they talked about the clothes they hoped to wear.

I guess I should be glad I got to be alone while I dealt with my pain. It’s always been like that anyway.

The drive to school was probably shorter but to me, it felt like ages until we got to Edwin and Co. and the gates yawned open to welcome.

The first thing I noticed was the bright disco lights the junior students had decorated the school with. There was loud music, and the fragrance of juice and pastries filled the air. Then we came down from the bus to get ready for the party. The dining was brightly lit and decorated and the music poured out of it mixed with the conversation from the students inside.

It was all beautiful but I couldn’t even enjoy the festive air when I was so depressed. There were still tears in my eyes and my heart was still broken but along the way, I had cried so much that now my eyes felt dry.

As we made our way to seniors' quarters I heard Siobhan say, “Hmm where’s Bianca? I need to show her my outfit for tonight.”

No, you won’t, I thought to myself as I hastened my footsteps to the quarters. Ian was the first to get there, he opened the door and I went in as fast as I could to escape any unwanted conversation with anyone. I probably won’t be going to the party anyway, I just want to be on my bed while I mend my broken heart.

I opened my door as fast as I could, my hands shook because I was trying to get in quickly. Just as Siobhan was passing through the gates I opened my door and entered and was about to lock it when a strong force held it back.

Andre.

Before I could react he entered my apartment, closed the door, and locked it.

“What are you doing?!” I demanded.

He didn’t respond. He took the key away from the lock and threw it on the couch.

“Get out of my apartment, Andre!”

My tears returned and I hated myself for being so weak against them. “Get out! I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to talk to you! I want to be alone. Get out!”

“Too bad,” he said, his voice low and so soft I almost didn’t hear him. “I want to see you. I want to talk to you.”

He took a step forward and in my eyes' blurry state I saw the look in his eyes, it tugged my heart.

“I want to hold you.” He reached out and grabbed me in his arms, I felt powerless to stop him, my hands falling limply beside me. “I want to touch you,” his voice broke and his breath fell on my face as he spoke every word. His eyes dropped to my lips and this time there was no reservation in his eyes. “I want to kiss you.”

His mouth closed over mine and he kissed me, softly, gently…almost like a whisper. His lips were soft, molding mine to perfection. His hands tightened protectively around me.