Chapter 97: Chapter 97

Chapter 95: The nonce

Whenever everything was going well there always had to be a dilemma waiting. Austin and Merri had so much trials and tribulations in the time they had shared and known each other. For many reasons just when it felt as though everything was going their way, something had to occur and dismiss their union.

Merri slept early that night. Not really asleep but staring at her side of the lamp. She hugged herself trying to keep warm. An awful feeling of betrayal and treachery inhibited within her chest. She blinked a couple of times, standing up to check on her kids. They were sound asleep. It must have been because they had not sleep in the afternoon. Merrigold adored looking at them, they were so precious. She had no idea she would be able to love any other person on this earth and forsaken world the way she did her kids. Sometimes she had to snap herself to reality. 'I'm a mother, I'm a wife? I'm a mother? I'm really a mother?' Her life has changed so drastically. Her babies were every reason to want to continue, to want to fight, to want to be better. Lionel lightly smiled in his sleep rubbing his left eye. It was as if they were born yesterday and now they were already 2 months.

Feeling strong arms wrap around her waist, Merri smiled but it went away as soon as it had settled on her face. She remembered that Austin was not spending as much time here with her, he was always out doing God knows what. She could only assume, he had changed his mind... perhaps he had realized being with a black woman was too much of a disputed point. Worse that he had not physically touched her ever since she gave birth. A sense of rejection is what she felt for the longest time. Pulling away from him she gave a subtitle smile. "I'm going to bed before they wake up any second." She muttered. Austin noticed that Merri seemed so distant. She had not asked how his day had been or pulled him in for a kiss. The usual affectionate being she had always been. He pulled her back in his arms.

"I thought we could finally..." he cleared his throat. "I had no knowledge that the twins cradles had been moved in our space."

"It's to make everything easier." Merri added. "I hate the back and forth. I'd rather have them near."

"You're aware with them sleeping in the same room, we will never be able to engage in anything until they're old enough to court girls and believe me love that is a very long time."

"It's not necessary is it?" She muttered.

"It isn't necessary? Merri?" He questioned clearly surprised by her response. For someone who has been begging for his physical time and attention, it was surprising. "I want you. I want you so badly. You're all I think about from sunrise to sunset. I only want a bit of time to make love to the love of my life. That can not be too much of a bargain! Is it? I want you Merri. Not lustfully but I want you in every sense of the word. This is the longest I've ever stayed without sex and having you so close to me every night but I can not do anything drives me bullocks." He whispered with frustration still not trying to wake them up.

Merri remained quiet. The thought of sex at this moment did not seem appealing to her not with her knowing that he shared a child with that nonce.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

She wanted to tell him but she did not want to seem insensitive. Merri felt as though her anger was coming from clear entitlement. She did not want it to seem that way. Putting on a fake smile. She convinced him everything was okay even when it wasn't. She shifted as further from Austin as she could on the bed. She desperately wished one of the twins would wake up and yearn to sleep in between them. It was hard enough trying to avoid Austin's touch. He was always touchy, as it may be physical touch was his love language and when he didn't receive it from Merri. He was wounded.

"I love you, Merri." He added as they got ready to sleep.

"I feel the same."

"Merri what's wrong? I can not stand this?"

'He will tell you when he is ready. I should not have said anything dear please do not paint me out to be the spoiler of news. He will tell you at his own time.' His mother had told her promptly that day.

It did not seem as if he would say anything to her at this point. What was the point of  a marriage founded on lies? When was he planing on telling her that he had a nearly seventeen year old daughter with Stella. The jealousy she felt was out of the roof. Austin had a child with that nonce. All this time... when they met he never failed to include his hatred for children yet here he was—

"I'm simply tired. Will talk tomorrow Austin." She convinced him. Talk? What was there to say? It was clear Austin did not plan to ever reveal any of this to her. Stella must have been proud of herself, Merri thought. To think Merri had prided herself in being the only woman to ever give Austin a child. It felt like a kick in the face. Stella's child would be the ideal white child that society approves of and even that bothered her.

—

For the longest time, he tried to get it off his chest but couldn't. Merrigold looked so happy and peaceful. He did not want to ruin any of that. This was the happiest they had been in a very long time. Austin was not sure how she would react. Sometimes he was almost there, half way through but he'd quickly change the story. She had this chaste angelic glimmer. He did not want to lose her, not when he finally had her. This was too much of a burden. Being honest with himself, Austin was still ashamed of her... his daughter. Not only the manor she was conceived in but her incapacity to do anything.

"She isn't very vocal?" Austin questioned kneeling down that way he was eye to eye with his daughter. She seemed to have stopped growing at age eleven. There clear similarities between them were as clear as day light. In many ways he felt at fault, this was all his doing. A whole human was suffering living a handicapped life all because of him and Stella? Mandy could have been someone, someone with a bright future, someone who could look after themselves and be—

normal.

Yet here she was. Austin for the millionth time, regretted ever being with Stella in any way. He wished he was stronger, he wished his curiosity would not have allowed him to follow through with the foolery that ended up in Mandy being created. There was no use imagining a different life, Mandy was already here and would never go back into the womb if Stella and Austin continued hating her. Regardless, she was innocent. Staring at her enough uncomfortable warmth in his chest. This was not the way he felt about the twins. For Mandy it was more pitiful, he felt sorry. He felt responsible for the situation.

"She can say a few words with much needed effort only when she is excited. She has a good memory too. If you keep up the visits, she will know you very well enough to be excited." Evelyn told him. For someone who had watched Austin in diapers, he was a whole different person now more thoughtful and affectionate.

"I will always be grateful to you, without you for all I know Stella would have left her at a door step of a local church."

"Fair enough, I can only hope you're not here to take her away from me."

Austin then smiled, putting a few strands of his daughter's blonde hair behind her ear. "Not at all, I doubt I could perform a better job. I can tell she is fond of you, I won't take that away from you besides... I have two troublemakers back home already as it is. If you need help, I will be here to provide always."

"Congratulations! I thought it was all back-fence talk."

Austin grinned. "Not at all, I'm a father now. Suppose if I knew about Mandy I would have known I was always a father."

Evelyn could only lower down her head feeling response. "I apologize for having never said a word."

"It's not your fault, I blame Stella."

Stella's older sister could only nod. "Would you like some tea?"

"I'm afraid I have to decline, I—" Austin did not know if it was his place to say anything regarding his situation. "I have to be home, I need to spend more time with my wife. I haven't had the chance lately."

"I understand. Is she aware?"

With a heavy sigh, Austin stood up straight. "She absolutely hates Stella, I reckon it's all her being overprotective of me. If she hears of this, I fear she will want to leave. I've already done enough, this will be her last stroll."

"I'm sure she will understand? You can not hide this secret for eternity."

Breathing in. "It's hard!" He muttered somberly. "It's really hard, I've had to accept the situation myself and now... I do not want to burden her."

"Have you spoken to Stella?"

"I'd rather not."

"She does not care much for Mandy if I can be fairly honest but once I tell her you've been visiting for the past few days, she will suddenly have an interest. It's as if she is obsessed with you."

The thought of her made him sick to his stomach. "Please do not inform her. I can not stand her. I'd rather not have any communication with her."

"Ofcourse." Evelyn responded.

Bidding their good bye's before she closed the front door. Evelyn yelled—

"Tell her Austin, she deserves to know."

Thinking about it for a second. He nodded. "I'll try and give it my all. Thanks Eve!"

—

"Mother, where's Merri?" Austin asked the minute he returned.

"Bertha was here, they went to her house. She should be back by now."

"Oh alright."

"They could use some girl time away from the kids and everything."

What Austin was not aware of was Merri could not control her anger. She had tried but certainly couldn't keep it in anymore. With the help of Bertha, they had went off to visit Stella. Merri gave her a thorough beating. Even Henry was afraid. Bertha enjoyed the scene, it was something she had been wanting to do for a long time.

"You haven't heard the last of me!" Merri added getting off the poor woman. "I came here to have a civil discussion with you only for you to belittle me. You pushed me to do this. I dare you to degrade me again. I dare you to deny your horrid actions. I dare you Stella, I dare you to spew some utter rubbish. I've went through so much because of you. I dare you—"

"S-sorry!" Stella hissed. "I'm s-so sorry. My apologies!" In her whole lifetime, she never thought she'd receive a beating at her age. Not even her parents did that, for the first time in a long time... she finally saw the damage she had caused, after Merri had expressed her grievances while swinging at her cheeks, pulling at her hair, sitting on her, strangling her with no remorse so much so that the clear marks of Merri's hands decorated themselves on her pale neck. Her first thought was to report her to the police but after that beating... she only wanted to ask for forgiveness. Merrigold scared her and beneath it all, she knew Austin was lucky. No one ever stood up for him in his presence or absence. He was a lucky man, Merrigold was willing and angered on his behalf. Austin and Merri had the same traits when it came to dealing with altercations no wonder they always clashed. When it came to Austin and Merri someone was always compromising for their peace and happiness. Now that they were together and never willing to compromise it caused a lot of hurt and distraction. As Henry sat back content, he could finally say he believes in soulmates. This woman had willingly came to beat his brother's molester while he sat in peace with her.

"I think she broke my nose." Stella added when Merri and Bertha left. Letting out a few sobs. Henry sat back clearly enjoying the scene.

"Are you going to help me—"

"Piss off Stella!" Henry hissed. "I'm only here for the kids, you deserved it. Glad she put you in your place."

If priceless was a face, Stella owned it at that moment.