Chapter 56: Chapter 56

Chapter 54: The wicked

Dear Austin

I write this to you because I'm seeking my own closure to move on and nothing else. I'm choosing to forgive you knowing you never apologized and probably never will. Only because I need my closure and sanity. You have no conscience what so ever. You have no thought process, I reckon. Meeting you was the worst thing that could have ever occurred to me. I had faith and glimmer of hope that I'd be the one. With everyone warning me, I shied away from the truth. Chose to believe they were all jealous of what we had.

I'm a firm believer of Christ and that every single thing happens for a reason. Perhaps this was a test from God, I failed the minute we committed fornication. I failed, but I'm choosing to correct it all by writing to you and making peace. Walking around with hatred is a burden for my heart, with knowing that where ever you're, you do not even think of me. You do not even feel a glimpse of guilt. I might even have to include my name or you might not remember. You have been around, I understand.

I forgive you Austin.

I hope you seek help and find a reason to want to change. I hope you come back to the lord and allow him to cleanse you off your sins and you become a new man. No one was born evil, not even you. I believe you can change for the better. I wish you all the best. May the rest of your life be peaceful and prosperous.

one of your many others

Harriet

Ps. I hope you remember me, I'm the girl you met at Edwards dinner table.

—

For a moment Austin had a mini realization. He was a horrible person. Sitting back in his sit, he read it over and over again. He did not know if he suddenly wanted Harriet because she was so kind to forgive him even though he never apologized. Maybe he simply felt a little overwhelmed and he did not want her. Being someone everyone despised was hard to keep up with. Being well known for the horrible and nothing good was tough to maintain. He could never do any kind gesture without anyone questioning the reason behind it. He hated letters but this time he decided to respond.

—

Dear Harriet

I've scrambled my thoughts to try and remember who you're but it does not a all ring a bell. I've met many women at Edwards dinner table unfortunately. I applaud you for putting you pride aside and being the decent human being, I could never be. I applaud you for this. I wish you all the happiness there is, I hope you find a good man who will treat you grand. You mentioned I never apologized therefore here is your apology. I'm sorry Harriet, you did not deserve that. No one deserves that, it started on a bad note because I already had malicious intentions from the start till the end. Have a happy life!

Ps. Ofcourse I remember you for goodness I'm not that heinous. I only pretended I didn't at the start to pull your leg a bit. If this means anything, I remember all our moments together.

PSA. I remembered you can not whistle not even to save your own life.

your first

Austin Cunningham

—

Austin liked that interaction. Bring forgiven felt... nice? He suddenly lighter off guilt, as if now he could think of Harriet and no horrible thoughts would come into display. Being a nice person was not so bad. He wondered what it felt like to be liked by everyone. Whenever he arrived somewhere, anywhere around town. People turned to look away from somewhat fear. People became uneasy.

"Well that was enough niceness for today.." He muttered with a disgusted look on his face. "It's time for some malicious fun."

Peeping at the window from his study. He saw Merrigold and Thomas talking and laughing as Thomas carried buckets of manure. He was always working and Merrigold was always perusing around like a lost puppy. He was still bitter about the words Thomas threw at him the other day. He said Austin would never have Merrigold even if he was present or not. Whistling to himself, he sat back in his sit called for someone to mail his letter. Drank coffee, read a novel, cut his nails... he did not want to hurt any lady... these were very busy hands.

Unlike the last time, Austin decided to approach Merrigold softly and seductively. They had good sexual chemistry, she knew his touch. It relaxed her and did things to her body. It was nearing midnight when Austin went to visit Merrigold. He watched her sleep, she was adorable. He caressed her while she was sleeping, tempted by her lips he laid a somber kiss. The four men he had recently hired came at the door and whispered.

"Sir? Should we get him?"

"Yes!" Austin replied cooly. With that they were gone.

Removing his coat unbuttoning his vest and later his dress shirt. Leaving himself bare, Merrigold was oblivious to his presence as she slept. Austin allowed him to get inside her blankets, surprisingly she pulled him closer as if she knew his body even within her sleep and obviousness. He kissed her, while her eyes were still closed. Unmoving she did not respond. The second time obviously she moved with the kiss. When he fondled her breasts, he was wildly surprised. His manhood hardened almost immediately. He played with her nipples. She moaned against their kisses. Her eyes slowly opened, still half asleep she tried to push him away. He didn't move. "Just this once Merrigold." He whispered.

"No..!" She tried to push him off.

"Yes!"

"No please..." She told him but when he kissed her she melted into his embrace. It was as if she was fighting her conscience and not Austin. She was fighting her guilt that wanted to, that missed him. She was fighting her want for him.

"We will be quick okay?" He whispered assuring her.

Almost nodding yes. She remembered everything he had put her through. Merrigold did not want anything to do with him. This was wrong, she was done falling for his tricks. She did not want this and not participate. This only showed his he saw her as a sex object and nothing more.

He fondled her breasts, it hurt. She flinched a bit. He did not care for her pleading, he forced his lips on hers. She did not kiss him back. He pressed both her arms against the bed. He was much stronger. Austin could not look at her as she cried. So he looked away. She was fighting with all that she had, kicking and screaming. There was not much could do by himself, he had to wait for them.

They arrived soon after pulling at bloody Thomas. He kept chanting 'what have I done?' 'what have I done master?' To the White men that had been sent to butter him up. With one swollen eye, a busted lip and a bloody running nose. He could not even stand until the two men held him up by his arms. Having been beaten he could not even stand, he knelt down helplessly. When he saw Austin on top of Merrigold his anger rose.

"LEAVE HER ALONE YOU MONSTER, DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HER."

Austin ignored him. "Help me undress her.." he told the other two.

"Please Austin I'm begging you, from the bottom of my heart please...I'm sorry...I— please... I mean Master Austin if that's what you want. Master Austin, I'm sorry please you do not have to do this. I don't know if I can take anymore of this please... I'm begging you, I can not handle anymore of this... I do not want this..." she cried as Austin held her down while the other man undressed her. Thomas was being kicked and buttered up to the ground each time he tried to move or relentlessly scream. He felt as if he had broken a rib, even with the pain, he tried to fight them off but it was useless they outnumbered him. They threw heinous words at him and laughed at his misery. Austin told himself that he had to be cold. He gave Merrigold a chance to be with him but she refused therefore she had brought it upon herself. The other two men held Thomas up.

"I hope you enjoy the view..." Austin chuckled. The men holding Thomas up also laughed. Thomas tried to spit at Austin but it did not reach him. The other two men held Merri down.

"You were right Thomas..." Austin smirked looking at Merri's body in full display for him. "Legally I can't have her relationship wise, it's not allowed but technically this, what I'm doing now? Is very allowed."

"SHE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!!" Thomas yelled with rage.

"...I know...that's why...I don't even even bother. She can love you for all I care." Austin added. "But I will still have her."

In that moment Merri felt helpless, she felt ashamed. She felt as if she were an object that was being fought for. Austin was merciless as always. She fought until she could not, she allowed herself to drown out. To not be there... she made her thoughts wonder to anything else than the feeling of having him touch her, it felt different. Different because this was a different Austin. She did not want to feel him annihilate her. Even then Austin would not stop kissing her even without her unresponsive body. She closed her eyes and thought of anything but her reality. Even with her eyes closed her tears still streamed down to her ears. She did not want to hear Thomas in pain, being painfully beaten to a pulp. For a moment she did not want to live anymore. She did not want to be present in this life of misery. She would rather die than have to constantly live like this. Austin had taken his last toll on her. She could not take anymore. The men at work watched Austin with envy. With lustful eyes for Merrigold's body. Merri felt more than violated with the many eyes in the room. It was midnight, and no sign of help. Every second felt like an hour. As her tears continued to stream down, she only begged for Austin to reach his come apart so he could finally let her go. Her dry inner walls hurt from the constant friction of his manhood. When she felt his warmness being released into her. When she felt the squirming liquid moisturize her dry walls. She could only sense relief. She had squeezed her eyes shut not wanting to witness any of this. She felt dirty, yucky and filthy. As if Austin was suddenly in his right mind, he felt guilty. He only came to his senses after his climax, he pulled out, cleaned himself up and left. Instructing them to lock Thomas in the abundant stock room, outside the plantation and to leave Merrigold alone in her room.

The three other men left to heard home for some sleep after a long day. But one remained. "Since you're done with her... can I have a turn? It's just a nigger after all." He asked.

Austin thought for a second. If he said no it meant he cared about her, it proved that he was not over her. He did not want to care for her. He did not want anything to do with her. He did not want to love her or fee anything for her. If he said yes, it meant he did not care.

"No— I— Sure, whatever just don't be harsh." He replied walking off. She had been having sex with Thomas so what was the difference. Now she could have all the sex she wanted and constantly craved for.

"Thank you sir!" He added.

That night Merri lost herself. Disheartened, she passed out. Austin told himself this was proof that he did not care about her at all. Another man was with her and he did not care. He certainly did not care.