Chapter 54: Chapter 54

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One last kiss. Nothing more. Just one last kiss and he would stop.

Gritting his teeth, Jenson covered her hand with his, the other touching the delicate skin of her neck. Just one last goodnight kiss...

Then he'd leave her alone for good if it's what she really wanted.  No matter how painful that would be. No matter how he felt.

As she stared into his eyes, a dull heat spread from his chest down to his core, down to his legs and feet.  Jessi leaned in, her breathing a notch faster, straddling him now as he sat on her bed.  With her dainty hands stroking his chest, they nuzzled against each other to keep warm.  She didn't stop touching him.  Perhaps she actually wanted him to stay the night.

But that didn't mean he should let himself get carried away. He'd kiss her and stop. Then he would walk out the door.  No arguments.  No regrets.

Self-control wouldn't be an issue. He just had to keep a grip on himself. The repressed feelings and the lonely, drunken nights without her wouldn't control him. Not even the raging hormones. Or the aching need to touch and taste all of her.

Fuck.  He couldn't even remember the last time he slept with a woman apart from Charmaine.  But, he was still in control.   The kiss would only last two seconds, max.  Nothing too sexual.

Nothing more than a quick, goodbye kiss...

"Sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt you, or make you feel like—"

"I'll miss you," he sighed when Jessi didn't pull away, her finger stroking his chin.  Jenson held her nape and slanted his face.  He lowered his head until his impatient mouth touched hers.

Her initial response sounded like a muffled gasp. Then her body arched in his arms. Her chest pressed against his, her dark lashes fluttering on her rosy cheeks.

"If you want me to leave now, just say so," he murmured to her bare lips.

"No. Stay."  The words came out a little breathy, but also persuasive.

Dammit. Was that a half-hearted no? Or did she mean every word?  A wild current of emotions shot through him when Jessi pulled him closer.

She kissed him back. She tasted sweet. And minty. But not too sweet—nor tame.

Every bit of him clenched. If he let his body do whatever it wanted, no doubt they'd be burning up these sheets till dawn.  Her incredible mouth, her beautiful body and soft moans would shove him right over the edge.

But he would back off.  Now.  He should stop.  He could still stop all of this from escalating.

Even against a tsunami of hormones and pent-up frustrations, he could maintain control. Except...he didn't break off their kiss.  He didn't pull back and just walk away.  He practically tossed her on the covers, then wrapped her perfect legs around his hips.

Without an ounce of protest from her, his mouth was back on her lips. The kiss deepened. It grew fiery. Torrid. Breathing required effort.

She held his face while his mouth moved against hers. All of her felt soft and smooth, supple, almost melting underneath his touch...  The complete opposite of the savagery clawing inside him, desperate to get out.

Everything about it was just... Intense. Consuming. Then another moan.

It only lasted a second or two—he wouldn't have heard it had he not trapped her between his arms, his weight pinning her underneath him.  It only spurred him on, erasing his doubts about her true feelings for him.  In the dimness, they prolonged their kisses and caresses, breaths growing ragged.

The blood rushing down his manhood left him straining under his clothes.  Her eagerness to feel him didn't help.  He grabbed her wrist before she could tug at his clothes. "Jess, if we keep going, I'm not sure I—"

"You smell so good." At the sound of her moans, pleasure and pride flooded straight to his ego as she stroked him beneath his boxers.

"Cazzo." [Fuck.] Jenson drew in a sharp breath. He felt taut enough to explode. But his own release could wait. First he would make her feel every second of the ecstasy he wanted to give her.

"What's wrong, babe?" she murmured, still catching her breath.

"Niente." [Nothing.] Jenson groaned and pulled away from her beautiful lips to drag quick, wet kisses along her smooth neck.  "Tu sei perfetta, mia cara." [You're perfect, my love.]

×××

They should stop now. It was getting out of hand.

But Jessi couldn't complain when his mouth and hands got greedy. Impatient. Demanding.  She liked the feelings he was igniting in her.

Instead of stopping, he resumed their kiss and deepened it. Jenson swore under his breath, his ardent hands caressing her all over, her neck, her back, testing her self-restraint.

Tongues and limbs touched. She wanted to mewl.  She wanted to melt.  She didn't want it to end.  When she'd tried to push him away, it wasn't because she wanted him to leave her alone—she just didn't want to encourage him.  Only to get caught hiding her real feelings.  Now she couldn't care less about what other people thought.

Her breath hitched again, his sweet nothings stretching her threshold to its limits.  Her grip on his tense shoulder tightened.  She bit on her lip when he slipped his fingers beneath her waistband.   "Babe..."

"What?"

Shoot. They could still back out.  They weren't blind drunk.  But, like him, she was well past resisting and debating the right thing to do.  It was wrong to think this was okay—she wasn't deluding herself with hopeless romantic thoughts of what they could've been.

But none of that really mattered now.   This undeniable desire had been building up for some time.  For weeks on end.  Months.  And they were done fighting it.

"Go slow..." she muttered with her eyes closed, his soft lips tracing the swell of her hip.

"If you want me to stop, just say so."

Did she?  A faint voice in her head was telling her to stop all of it now.  But it was too distant.  Too weak.  Almost nonexistent.  And if she pushed him away now, it would only hurt him. Insult him.  Humiliate him.  No.  Hurting his feelings again would only make her feel like crap once he left.  Once she left him.

"You want me to stop?"

"No." She pretty much grumbled the word.  Her fingers clasped his muscular arms.  When he nipped the side of her ear, her body jerked.  The warmth of his bare skin on hers felt soothing, encouraging.

With his lips back to trailing soft, quick kisses along her neck, Jenson touched the side of her face, their hips touching.  "I still don't want you to go."

"I know—"

"Fuck. You're gorgeous."

"You taste like honey." Her murmured responses almost sounded like she was asking for more, but, it felt like he was doing his best to restrain himself.

He grunted and took her mouth again before she could try to pull back.

Legs and mouths touching, Jessi held her breath when his hand caressed the skin above her hip. The gripping anticipation had rid her of all her inhibitions. Now she just wanted to feel all of him. Taste all of him. Hold him close. Touch every inch of his strong, irresistible physique.  Every inch of her turned feverish at his touch.  Her fingernails dug into his skin.

What he wanted was what she'd been fantasizing about, and she no longer had the willpower to hold back.  She didn't really want to.  She badly wanted him.  And everything he wanted to make her feel.  But if he kept up this torturous pace, she would definitely—

"Can I come see you in Rosenville?"

"What..."

"Please?" Jenson sighed and kissed the side of her face, her arm, then the curve of her waist.

Her flesh grew taut, the rest of her straining for him, just aching for attention. "Joss..."

Like his hot breaths on her neck, his gentle touch and the kisses he dragged along her skin only made her heart swell.  "I'm gonna miss you." Jenson inhaled the scent of her hair.

The tears heated up her eyes and trickled down her temples, before she could even try to hide them from him.

"You okay, love?"  He stiffened and tightened his arm around her waist.  "Hey."  As she tried to stop breaking down underneath him, he touched her chin and kissed the corner of her lips. This time it was languid, almost too gentle to be felt.

A weak nod was all she could give in response.  Her eyes stayed closed as she tried to steady her breath.  Her chest felt like it was being ripped open.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."  She sniveled. "It's just... Mom and Dad really want me home. But, I'm gonna miss you, too."

"Good," Jenson murmured, kissing her cheeks gently.

Oh, he definitely knew how good he was at this.

She wanted to roll her eyes at his smug grin.  "You know I will." His heart beneath her palm throbbed hard and fast.  She tried to smile when he gingerly wiped her tears off with his thumb.

"Wasn't so sure when you were telling me to get a cab and leave you alone."

"Ugh." She blew out a breath. "You were drinking. Of course I wasn't gonna—"

"Babe, stop." He chuckled and kissed her lips again. "No more talking." He hugged her tight.

×××

He couldn't leave.

He just couldn't leave her—or keep away from her.  Impossible at this point.

For some fleeting moments, the tiny voice of reason in him had deterred him from acting on his impulses.  But the long-repressed feelings just took over, defeating his common sense sooner than he could wrap his head around the consequences.  And the lengths their clan had gone to just to protect their identities and reputation...

Maybe Jessi didn't want it to happen as much as he did, but, the kisses she gave him before he utterly lost control were the fuel to the fire. Too much fuel for the blaze.

If his uncle found out...

Shit. He shouldn't have drunk that much. "You selfish idiot," was what his inner voice kept on repeat for the past hour. Or maybe even longer than that.

His thoughts raced as he patiently waited. Jenson stifled a noisy sigh with his fist. He shifted on the bed to regard the woman beside him.

Her total silence was only making him more uneasy, but she seemed relaxed now.  Her lean shoulders finally stopped trembling.  Was she done crying? He badly hoped so. The thought momentarily relieved him of the guilt coiling his insides into tight knots.

Her tears could only mean she thought what they did was the biggest mistake. Right? But...

If she regretted what happened, why did she stay in bed with him?

With the blanket covering him from the waist down, Jenson propped himself on his elbows. He moved closer to carefully loop his arm around her small waist.

She flinched, but she pulled the covers over them. Her porcelain-smooth skin stayed warm.

Desperate to hear her voice again, he lightly kissed the edge of her shoulder to try to wheedle her into a conversation.  But she ignored the gesture.  For a minute or two, he just watched her stare at something on the wall.

She must be trying to forget or rationalize everything that happened.

Bit by bit, the disappointment turned into regret. Jenson sighed.  Although slightly intoxicated, he was fully aware of what he just did to her.  If someone had filmed it the whole time, he would know exactly when one part led to another, and how he had drunkenly but deliberately coaxed her into it.

In fact he wasn’t even that drunk last night to use it as an excuse. Even now he could easily narrate how everything happened.

Shit.  He didn’t expect it to go this far. Neither did she expect their "goodnight kiss" would end this way—at least that much he knew.

The deafening silence in the room dragged on for another minute. Her back faced him. Her damp hair remained fairly tousled. Jessi lay so still he thought she'd dozed off. In the dark, her skin looked as flawless and soft as the pillows.

Dammit.  It was just insane.  Jenson almost cussed out loud for wanting to make love to her again.

He would probably kill himself in the morning—if he woke up from this mess, that is.

The only problem was: he didn't feel like this was a mess. Not at all.

Not one bit.

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