Chapter 78: Chapter 78

“After You’re Gone”

Today is one year after you left. It doesn’t feel like I’ve been through 365 days without you. There’ are a lot of things I can’t believe, over the past year, there’s been a lot going on. Helena who’s always following now has someone else looking after her, that man named Jasper. He’s a free man and loves skateboarding, and he often wins skateboarding competitions. He looks like a punk, but strangely they seem to fit in together.

Then Drake and Natty, they’re still together today. Although often quarrelsome and often want to break up, but they still end up together. They are still the same as they used to be in basketball, but recently Natty made online comics and comics very popular, even though at first she only did that as a hobby.

And me? As you can see now, I’m even the same. I’m still the same Alex, Alex loves you and misses you. You saw me, didn’t you? I’m not sure how I could have spent a year without you, but I seem to be fine. At first, it was very difficult to accept your passing, even it was very difficult to imagine my life without you.

It was very difficult for me to survive, but over time my sadness faded. I ate well and slept well. The day I went through it was like that as well as the next day and the next day again. After college, I get busier with lessons, and sometimes there are days when I’m so busy that I don’t have time to think about you.

I’m sorry, maybe I don’t love you too much because I can feel fine after you leave. I thought I was going to go crazy, or at least I was grieving for longer, but I was fine like this. Maybe it’s true that I still don’t really understand love, or maybe it’s true that time can heal wounds. Even my heart wounds are fading as time passed.

Even so, I still miss you indeed when I’m so busy and don’t get a chance to think about you, but my heart never forgets to miss you. We may not be together or be lovers like everyone else, but one thing that will never change is the fact that you have made my heart bloom.

I was a cold man with a heart as barren as the desert, but you were present sowing the seeds of love, watering my barren heart. I’m sure it’s hard to do that, but you taught me what it’s like to be loved and how to love. I’m this ignorant and selfish man you hug with the warmth of your love until I can love someone.

Now I’m trying to make my life, go to college, work, find a married partner, and have kids the way I’m supposed to. I hope you can understand and forgive me for wanting to move on, but don’t worry about me making sure no one can replace you in my heart.

Our story may end here, but my longing and love will never end. Thank you for being present in my life, my Ruby, my first love... My bloom.