Chapter 71: Chapter 71
They tell that man and desire are one unity because in fact that desire is always in man. It could be wealth, power, respect from others, office, anything. That desire depends so much on the person, but no matter how much they have, they will never be satisfied because people are greedy.
But you always say that in this life I must not be greedy, to be grateful for what I have because greed is sin. I try, I try not to be greedy. But recently, I’ve become more greedy, indeed though I know I shouldn’t be.
Every day, every minute and every second I see him greed grows and pile up in my heart. Even though I’ve been trying so hard not to be greedy, but why every time I stand next to him, I keep wanting many things. I’m getting scared, every day I go with her scares me so much.
I want to stay by his side, hold his hand, make him smile and when I can do everything I get more greedy, and I want to stay with him forever. I know this is wrong, even though it seems very simple to others because the desire to live is a greed for me that from birth always brings death beside me. Because from the very beginning, my life had limits set.
***
The clock showed at 8:00 a.m., the orange sunlight entered the white room and Ruby was sleeping on a bed with clear plastic isolating around her bed. Ruby’s father, dressed in his white robe, walked into the room and opened the window blinds to let the sunlight into Ruby’s room.
Ruby wakes up to the sound of curtains being shifted. She opened her eyes visibly smith, then with her pale white lips she smiled at her father who walked towards her then sat in a chair next to her bed with white plastic as a barrier.
“How are you feeling today? Did you sleep well?” asked Ruby’s father.
“Yes, I slept well last night, so I feel better today.” Ruby said with a sweet smile.
In fact, neither Ruby nor her dad knew that the answer was just an excuse even from the beginning the question was unnecessary to say. Even by seeing how isolated Ruby is in her room, we can tell that Ruby’s condition is unlikely to be good. But perhaps hearing kind words will make everything feel better, like getting a flick of light inside a dark tunnel.
They smiled like everything was fine. Hiding all the sadness in a smile seems to have become routine for them. Save all the tears and then shed them when no one is looking. They both know how severe Ruby’s condition is at the moment, she has had to undergo intensive treatment and several tests many times.
Ruby’s condition is declining every day and the only way to cure her is spinal cord transplant surgery, but until now, there has been no suitable donor for Ruby. Even Ruby knows it’s impossible for her to get a proper donor. Every day in her room Ruby continues to live her life as if she were counting the days of her imminent death. But she still tries to keep smiling, so that her loved one’s won’t grieve, at least not until she’s gone for good.
“After breakfast, do not forget to take your medicine, it is best not to go out and rest a lot.” said Ruby’s father and Ruby nodded her heads in response like an obedient child.
“If you want, I’ll call your friends, so they can see you.” Ruby’s dad said it again, but Ruby shook her head straight away.
“ No, I don’t wish them to know. Right now they’re getting ready for the exam... I don’t want to bother them.” Ruby said with a thin smile.
Although Ruby said that with a smile, but deep in Ruby’s eyes, her dad could see what she was hiding in her clear, glowing eyes. Besides, a father knows his daughter very well, even if Ruby is perfect at lying, but her dad will never be fooled. From inside her eyes her dad could see that Ruby missed her friends very much, but she did not want to make her friends sad after learning about her condition now.
Ruby was always like that, she was a good girl and understanding of others. She was always kind to others and thought of others first before her. She was so nice that it made her father unhappy. A child who is very understanding and always hides her sadness from others makes parents feel helpless because they know what it’s like to keep their grief in for a long time.
He knows that his daughter is sad and needs someone on her face, but he can’t do anything because Ruby always covers it up even Ruby keeps smiling and showing a cheerful face. Ruby continues to show her sweet smile until her father feels helpless and feels bad. But it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to cry because it will make her feel relieved rather than keep everything and keep piling it up. The wound may not be visible outside, but inside it has been destroyed by too many wounds.
Ruby’s father could only nod his head and get out. For him, he closed the door to tears and poured down his cheeks. No one can imagine what it’s like to see his daughter’s condition getting worse every day as if she’s approaching death day after day, but can’t do anything to stop that despite trying so hard.
***
Meanwhile, Alex, who knows nothing, tries to get himself into learning like a lunatic. Alex was a crazy person to learn before, but this time he was even crazier as if he had done nothing but study all day without stopping. Day and night just changed while he kept struggling with his book again and again.
At first his parents thought it was normal, but now they’re feeling weird because Alex looks more like the undead spending his time studying. Alex keeps doing that because every time he on his own and doesn’t do anything Ruby keeps coming in and filling his mind. Then he’ll miss her and it’ll make him very sad. As if falling in a dark sea, he felt helpless, empty and lonely.
So, Alex decided not to be alone, but there was nothing he could do to keep himself busy other than study. To be honest, Alex didn’t know to do anything else because he was just learning what he knew. In class, at lunchtime, even when he comes home, Alex always struggles with the book. Indeed when he understands everything in the book he’s reading, he keeps repeating and again to keep him busy and not having time to think about Ruby.
But Alex was very over-learning and it made the people around him feel worried including his parents. They secretly watched Alex with a caring gaze. As parents of course they are happy to see Alex excited to learn again because they always expect it. However, seeing Alex study until not having time to eat and sleep makes them feel worried. They’re afraid that Alex will only ruin his health.
“Isn’t this very strange? Alex learned too much. He should have rested a little or played.” Said Gretta who was concerned about her son.
“ It’s okay, wouldn’t it be great if Alex’s spirit of learning like this? He’s going to get the best grades in the entire country.” Mr. Maxwell, who looked light-sighted, sat at the dinner table with a newspaper in front of his face.
Gretta was upset to hear what her husband had said. She then walked up to her husband and took the newspaper that was being held by her husband so that her husband would just stare her in the face. Putting on an annoyed face, Gretta stood next to her husband while holding the newspaper she had taken from her husband.
“Don’t you care about our son?! You wish him to continue like the undead?” said Gretta in an exasperated tone.