Chapter 27: Chapter 27

LUNAR'S POV

It starts in Logan's house.

It always starts there.

It's a bright sunny day and I'm carrying his spicy, pumpkin latte and bagels in hand, ready to give him.

But I arrive early and Logan is at the top of the stool in his room, getting the belt ready to hang himself.

"No!" I scream and he looks at me, his face expressionless.

"I have to." He says and I try to run towards him to stop him, but suddenly there is a crowd.

"Kill yourself!" They're chanting, over and over  and the more I try to move past them, the harder it is.

They're stopping me.

Holding me.

By the time I struggle out of their hold, Logan is hanging by his neck on the belt, his face almost purple.

I'm too late.

Again.

"You did this." An eerie voice says from behind me and I turn.

It's Logan.

"No. No I tried to stop it." I plead with him in tears.

"I didn't do this. I could never let this happen to you." I cry to Logan but his face lacks emotion.

"You did this." He says again.

"You did this." More voices say and I turn around.

It's mum and Elena.

"Mummy." I say to her and she holds Elena protectively, moving out of my reach.

"Please, I swear! I didn't do it! I tried!" I cry.

"You're dangerous. We can't stay with you." She says and I move towards her but I run headfirst into a hard glass and fall back.

"You did this." They're all saying now.

The crowd is back.

Mum and Elena and Logan are gone.

"You did this." They're saying louder and I try to run out again but I slam against the glass.

It's then I realise I'm in a glass box.

The crowd is angrier now, shouting louder, like an angry mob.

"Please." I beg them.

"Please let me out. I didn't do anything." I'm pleading but they can't hear me over their loud chants.

"She's dangerous!"

"Get rid of her!" They're yelling and I'm crying.

"No! No, please! No!" I cry and suddenly the ground falls from under my feet.

I'm thrown into a well or a lake or an ocean.

But the water is prominent, and I can't swim.

I can't breathe.

I can't speak.

I'm choking.

I sit up in bed now, gasping loudly at the fear of choking. But the water is gone and I'm back in my room, on my bed, sweating.

Another nightmare.

The fear of the nightmare is still gripping me and I turn on the bedside lamp and stare at the time.

3 am.

I recall the dream...My mum, Elena and Logan....the crowd....the blaming.

You did this.

And then they cast me away. I was dangerous.

I cover my face on my hands and burst into tears.

This was the second nightmare since I came back...it always starts somewhere.

Either at Logan's house or...the hospital.

I let myself dwell in the sadness of the dream and I cry my eyes out, cry at how everyone had abandoned me and threw me away.

I was truly alone.

The house echoes with my sobs and I hug myself in the stillness of the night.

Oh God.

Please help me.

What do I do?

I am so scared....

As much as I told myself I needed to be alone, I felt incredibly lonely. I thought being without Nathan would help but I can't help but think of anyone but him.

With him I was never scared or alone...he gave me so much.

I can't help but wonder....if this wasn't working out for me, was it working out for him?

I don't want to be alone.

The thought brings more tears to my eyes and I grab my cell phone and reread the texts Nathan sent.

Ever since I left, he sends me a text every night for the past two nights.

Nathan: Being without you, hurts Lu. I know you think this is what's best, but how can it be when every waking moment without you feels like hell? I love you so much and if space is what you want then I'll let you have it. But we are always happiest together and I want you to know you were never a curse...You were my cure. You might be galaxies away but with you is where my heart dwells. I hope you realise this and that you know when you need me, when you need to smile, when you need to feel that happiness again, I'll be there. Because I need you too.

I wish I were strong enough to turn off the phone and go back to bed,...But I'm not.

The nightmare of everyone I've ever lost and the world judging me replays in my mind and draws more tears to my eyes.

I can't do this alone.

I am so scared.

I don't want to go to bed with the fear of another nightmare in my mind.

'You did this'

And they had locked me up in that terrible box, accusing me...And No one would listen to me.

With tears and fear prominent, I call Nathan.

He picks on first ring.

"Lunar." He says with relief, like he has been waiting. Like he wasn't even asleep.

"Nathan, please I can't do this. I can't stay on my own anymore. I'm so scared...I don't want to be without you. Please." I cry into the phone.

"I'm coming baby. I'm on my way, okay?" He says with evident concern and I clutch the phone closer to my ear, cherishing his caring, thoughtful voice and all of him.

"But it's so late--"

"I am coming. All that matters is that you need me, and I won't ever leave you alone in such a time. Okay?" He says reassuringly in his deep voice and I already feel better by listening to him, realising how much I've missed him.

I hang on to his words like a life buoy rescuing me from drowning.

Drowning in my own fears.

Nathan always knows what to do.

"I'm in my car, okay? I know you're scared so I'm not going to hang up. I'm going to stay on the line baby. Is that okay?" He says, and I've never heard words any sweeter.

"Yes please." I say, my heart welling up with love and happiness.

What made me think I could do without him?

"I'll be there very soon." He says and I relax back as I hear the background noise of the car speeding.

He was coming.

He really was.

Nathan stays on the line throughout the long drive, occasionally checking on me and reassuring me he was close.

It was good enough just to hear him talk...with that I didn't feel the fear I had.

Nothing seemed to scare me again.

It's almost 5 am by the time I hear his car in the driveway.

"I'm here, baby." Nathan says and I run out of my room to the living room where I look out the window.

Sure enough his car is parked and he is stepping out.

I open the door now, and run to him.

"Nathan!" I yell and rush into his arms and he pulls me close to his protective embrace.

His manly, boyish scent engulfing me and his warm breath on my forehead.

"Lunar." He says softly, saying my name in that precious way.

"I'm so sorry. I--"

"Shhh. No more apologies baby. All that matters is that I'm with you...And we're together." He says looking down at me.

"I was just so scared....I had nightmares and they were terrifying." I cry and he hugs me even closer and tighter.

"I'm here now. No more nightmares, no more tears, not while I'm here. I promised you'll be fine and I would never let anything hurt you anymore, okay?" He says and I nod happily.

"Oh, Nathan. I've missed you." I say and he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"I've missed you more." He says. It almost feels surreal, having him back. It feels like I haven't been with him for over a year...but its just been two days.

Two days without Nathan.

The worst two days ever.

I'd almost forgotten outside was freezing cold, considering the snowfall we just recently had until Nathan takes off his jacket and wraps it around my body, then takes me inside with him.

The comfort of just being together is more than enough and I can't express how thankful I am, so I hang on to him as we get to my bedroom.

I love the familiarity of Nathan's arms around me in bed and I snuggle closer to him, enjoying his warmth and staring into his green eyes.

"When you left....I thought I lost you." He says softly, in that deep voice of his and I bite my lip.

"I thought I lost you too...forever." I say to him honestly and he smiles a bit.

"Don't you know? You can never lose me." He says and I sigh contentedly as the sleep I had been scared of consumes me comfortably.

"I wish we could be like this, always." I murmur.

****

NATHAN'S P.O.V

"I wish we could be like this, always." She murmurs, her soft voice almost like a whisper and the words hang in the air, uncomfortably.

She wishes?

Is this temporary?

"Lu, what.... why is that a wish?" I ask but she is already asleep, breathing softly in my arms and I look at her with so much admiration.

Her beautiful jet black hair and long lashes, that small nose and rounded lips. Never have I loved a human so.

Never have I been willing to do anything that it takes....until her.

She had sounded so scared on the phone, like a little girl and it stung me, to know she was so far away and she felt all alone.

So I had to be here.

For her.

Even though I had spent the last two days planning how to prove to her that I love her, and I need her and she isn't a curse....as she believes.

Tomorrow is the day I would prove to her that not only was she necessary for my happiness, but for many others.

She needed to know she was important.

And then the minute I had tried to fall asleep, she called.

I was so convinced everything was back to normal....until now.

'I wish we could be like this, always.'

I wonder what would happen when she wakes up tomorrow.

Will she even remember why she called me?

******

LUNAR'S P.O.V

The sunlight peeking in through the drapes pries away my sleep and I sit up, yawning.

I had never slept so peacefully since I came back.

In the brightness of the room now, I run my fingers over the warm, empty spot beside me and slowly I can recall sleeping next to Nathan.

My eyes move to the car keys on the night stand now.

Nathan's car keys.

And that's when it dawns on me. The nightmare, the call, and Nathan driving over two hours to be with me.

As the memory of him lingers, the door opens and he walks in, eyes on me.

"You're here." I say and he smiles a bit.

"Where else would I be?" He asks and he sits next to me on the bed.

"How do you feel? Did you sleep better?" He asks and I can't help but smile at the unmistakable concern and love mirroring in his eyes.

"I did." I say and he pulls me close.

"I turned on the heater so you could shower. And then I'll make some hot chocolate." He says and I lean even closer to him, enjoying his presence and all of him.

When I get up to shower, Nathan helps me take off my clothes and assists me into the shower, like he can tell that I don't want to leave his presence.

He always knew...

And it wasn't fair. To need him, and want him and to love him...knowing something might happen to him.

I remember the dream, and how everyone had accused me. If something happened to Nathan, he'll be one of those in the dream....accusing me. Blaming me.

"Nathan?" I call out from inside the shower stall and I see his form appear at the bathroom door.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, for everything." I say honestly and I hear him sigh. Then the door to the stall slides open and he is standing there.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you had the nightmare, baby." He says and I hold his hand and pull him inside with me, hugging him tightly although he is clothed.

Nathan doesn't resist and he hugs me back under the shower.

I hold him close, cherishing the moment, because after now....He will have to go.

"I wish we could be like this, always." I whisper and Nathan moves back a bit to look at me.

"Why do you keep saying that, Lu? You said it last night. Why is it a wish?" He asks calmly and I sigh.

"Because we can't be like this. It never seems to be completely happy for us. You have to go." I say regrettably and Nathan frowns.

"Again? Lunar I keep telling you. There's nothing wrong with you. I love you."

"And I know that. But it's more than that. You don't know what it felt like to have that nightmare--"

"But I'm here now, Lu."

"That's what makes it worse. Being with me...something could happen to you."

"Can you please stop saying that?" He says, getting upset and I put both my hands besides his face.

"I don't want us to argue. I love you. I love being with you here. But I would never be happy with myself if something happens to you and then I see you in one of my nightmares....Blaming me." I say, hoping he can't tell that I'm crying.

"After showering you can stay have breakfast, we'll drink the chocolate and even watch tv. But then you have to go." I say and Nathan holds both my hands.

"No. I'm not going anywhere without you. Never again."