Chapter 25: Chapter 25

"We're almost there." He is saying and I clutch the car seat.

"Nathan...I'm scared. I'm so scared." I cry, letting the tears come with waves of pain and sadness and fear.

Nathan hastily parks the car and rounds it to my side.

Then he opens it and carries me out and into the hospital.

"Please, please help. My girlfriend....our baby..." He is saying and I clutch him, crying as I feel his heart beat racing.

The sound of running feet approaches and suddenly Nathan lays me down on a stretcher.

"No, Nathan...." I cry.

"You'll be fine, Lu. I'm right here. I promise I'm right here." He says following the nurses, holding my hand and looking right at me.

The noise of people yelling instructions blurs into one another and I can only see Nathan.

"You're gonna be fine, I promise you." He says says, his voice sounding shaky for the first time ever.

"The baby...." I say just as they wheel me into a room and suddenly there is no Nathan holding my hand.

****

NATHAN'S P.O.V

I watch helplessly as they wheel Lunar away and a nurse stops me.

"I'm sorry sir, you're gonna have to wait here until the doctor requests your presence." She says and I look at her.

"She needs me." I say, not recognising my own voice. It was shaky and low.

"I know that but you have to let us do our work to make her better."

"But our baby. She's pregnant." I say and the lady nods.

"We'll try our best." She says and jogs off.

Standing there, alone, I can't do anything but pace.

I wish I was there.

What will happen?

What will happen to the baby? Will they be okay?

Will she be okay?

She has to. They have to save them.

For twenty minutes I walk around the waiting hall restlessly, getting coffee from a vending machine that I couldn't even drink.

I need news.

The nurse walks out now.

"The doctor will see you now, sir." She says and I hurry inside the room.

Lunar is lying on a bed wearing hospital robes and I rush to her.

"Are you okay?" I ask, holding her hand and sitting next to her and she turns to me with tears in her eyes.

"They won't tell me anything. My baby bump is gone." She says and a doctor walks in, holding a file.

"Miss Kensington, Mr Jackson. I thought it would be better to speak to the both of you at once." She says, closing her file and looking at us.

Her look says it all.

Before she can say another word, I know what the news is.

And I feel a great wave of sadness consume me.

"Our baby...is our baby okay?" Lunar asks still, sitting up and the doctor sighs.

"I'm so sorry miss Kensington. I'm afraid you had a miscarriage and lost the baby. There was nothing we could do by the time you came. The fetus had lost all signs of life." She says and Lunar is already shaking her head.

"No. No....no. That can't be right. The doctor said the baby was okay during our last ultrasound." She says in tears.

"Miss Kensington...."

"Tell her, Nathan." She begs me and I feel speechless at the denial I see in her eyes.

She was in shock.

"Lu..."

"Miss Kensington, the health wasn't exactly the issue. Your baby died of chromosomal abnormality. It's a very common cause of miscarriage and it's nothing that you could have noticed." The doctor says calmly and Lunar shakes her head.

"I don't understand." She says in tears

"Lu..."

"It is when a fetus has either the incorrect number of chromosomes or chromosomes that are structurally flawed. These abnormalities may translate to the development of birth defects, disorders like Down syndrome, or miscarriage.

"No!" She yells and bursts into tears and I suddenly can't take it anymore.

"Thank you doctor." I say, dismissing her as I pull Lunar into my arms and she cries.

"No...Nathan.....no! Our baby is gone." She cries loudly and I hold her, trying not let my emotions get the best of me too.

We lost our baby.

"Sshhh. It's okay Lu. Please stop crying." I say gently as she clutches me, crying.

"Oh Nathan.....why?" Lunar asks in sobs.

"What did I do wrong?" She cries and I pet her hair.

"It's not your fault. You heard the doctor....it just happened. It's not your fault Lu. Please...." my voice breaks and I take a deep breath.

I have to be strong. For her. For us.

"Please. Stop crying." I beg.

It takes thirty minutes for Lunar to stop crying but it doesn't take away the stiffness of her movement or the pain in her eyes.

And after we leave the hospital, on our ride back to the apartment, she faces the window the entire time.

When we get into the apartment, I watch as she stands there, staring at the bloodstained couch.

Then she enters the kitchen and returns with a bowl of water and a rag.

"Lu..." I say but she moves out of my reach and kneels in front of the couch. Then she starts scrubbing off the blood.

"Lunar, please. Don't do this."

"Leave me alone, Nathan. I just....I need to do this." She says and starts crying again.

"Lunar."

"It's the only thing I can do for our baby. I need to clean his....her...." she trails off now and bursts into more tears.

"I never even got to know the gender!" She wails and I kneel beside her, and try to pull her close but she keeps pushing me.

"No. No, leave me alone!" She yells but I pull her close anyway.

"Lunar..."

"I have to clean the blood. Our baby's blood."

"Lunar, please stop this." I say and she finally leans into me, crying.

"I never felt a kick." She cries and I hold her close.

"We'll be fine. I promise we'll be fine." I say to her as she cries endlessly.

"Why me Nathan? I tried everything. My mum, my sister, Logan....And now the baby. Do I make people die?" She asks and I move away a bit to look at her.

"Don't ever say that. Okay? Don't you ever, ever say that. Nothing is your fault." I say to her firmly, trying not to let sadness get the best of me.

"Look at me." I say and she looks at me through teary eyes.

"I know it hurts. I know this is painful. I know we lost our baby. But Lunar, we'll be fine. Okay? We'll scale through this together and we'll be fine." I say and she nods in tears.

"Okay." She says and I hold her close.

After a while, we both head into the bedroom to sleep....But neither of us can.

LUNAR'S P.O.V

By the time the light of dawn seeps through Nathan's curtain, I've cried until I can't conjure up any more tears.

My face is coated in dried up tears and beside me, Nathan is quiet. I don't even know if he is asleep or if he slept at all.

All I know is the pain I feel.

Of losing someone so close to me...that breathed my oxygen and shared my blood.

As small at it was...it was mine.

And now it's gone.

I feel like a jinx. First Logan, then mum and Elena, Lucas and dad in jail, and now the baby.

Everybody that comes close to me always ends up somewhere unfortunate. But what did I do? To deserve all this?

To face so much loss?

I turn to look at Nathan and he is sound asleep.

If I stay with him any longer I might just jinx him too.

Maybe I'm cursed.

And Nathan might never have kids or never get married....or die.

I sit up now.

This whole thing is too much for me. I can't deal with this...I can't stay here and handle this hurt.

I head for the wardrobe and start packing. I pack all my clothes and shoes, toiletries, make-up, books and pictures, stuffing them carelessly into bags and boxes.

And then I take them one by one, loading it into my car and coming up for the rest.

Nathan has been so understanding and caring but I can't put him through any more issues. Lucas and the baby.....

I was a walking curse.

By the time I load the last thing into the boot of my car and shut it, I see Nathan standing at the front of the car.

He walks to me.

"Lu...what....what's going on?" He asks and tears fill my eyes again.

"I have to go, Nathan."

"What? Why?" He asks, his eyes evident with shock and I can't take it.

"I can't keep doing this to you."

"Lunar, you didn't do anything...please let's go back and--"

"No." I move away from his reach.

"Please don't touch me." I say softly in tears.

"Lunar...You can't go." He says and I sniff.

"But I have to. I have to, Nathan. Look at us. We're a mess--"

"No we're not."

"We are and it's all my fault. I dated Lucas. And he troubled our relationship until he left. And then I...I got pregnant and lost the baby." I cry and he reaches for me.

"Lu..."

"Don't touch me. You can't. I'm a jinx Nathan." I say and he stares at me.

"Why would you say anything like that?"

"Because it's true. Everywhere I go, I just curse people." I cry and he sighs.

"Lu, please. You're not a curse. I know you're scared and tired---"

"You don't. You don't know. You don't know how I feels to lose so many people. It's not normal Nathan. I'm not normal. Just let me go home." I beg and he looks at me through soft, pleading eyes.

"Lunar...don't leave me. I know we've been going through a lot but it doesn't change the fact that you're still my girlfriend and I love you." He says and I cry more.

"Don't say that."

"I love you, Lunar." He repeats and I cry more.

"Please don't go. I promised you we'll be fine and we will. You're not a jinx, it was just something that happened. These things happen."

"But not this much to one person." I cry.

"That's why I have to go."

"Go where?"

"Go home. Back home and clean up the house and wait for my dad to come home. I need to be away...especially from you." I say and he stares at me with hurt in his eyes.

"Lunar....what about us? When will I see you?" He asks and I look away because I don't have an answer.

"Are you leaving me....for good? Are you breaking up with me?" He asks and I can't take it any longer.

I cover the remaining space and hug him tightly.

"I love you Nathan. I love you so much." I cry and kiss him on the lips.

Then I pull away.

"Goodbye Nathan." I say and hurry into my car.

And then I drive away.

Away from the pain I could cause him.

Away from his promising life.

Away from Nathan.

The only guy I have every truly loved.