Chapter 6: Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX: THE DEAD GIRL’S HOUSE

R3.

RADJAN

“Is that true, my idol?” Akio asks with adoration in his voice. “Even the equation that hasn’t been taught in class, you already knew how to solve it? You’re becoming quite a legend, my man. Word has it that you put that old loony in his place.”

“Well, I just got lucky with the answer,” I shrug, dismissing it.

“Lucky?” he asks again, disbelieving. “What about your first practice? I saw you, my man. You didn’t miss any shot. At all. Man, that was some NBA-level skills!”

“More luck,” I say, trying hard not to smile. I’m actually weird about being praised. It’s kind of cool when people think you’re so great at something, but I would prefer they just spread the word to their peers, not say them directly to me.

“Whatever,” Akio says. “You’re really my biggest idol to walk the earth.”

I smile in amusement. “Anyway, bros, I have to go home now. See you tomorrow.”

“Wait, aren’t you going with us to our classmate’s house? It’s… her wake,” Akio informs me.

I mull it over and finally decide to go with them. I really don’t want to go home so soon, probably cleaning up my father’s puke like always. Maybe this is a better alternative.

I go to the wake with them. A strange woman receives us. My companions look as bewildered as I feel upon seeing her. She must be the dead girl’s mother, but it’s obvious from everyone’s reaction that they have never met her before. After that, the drama starts. I can see everyone looking so sad, so defeated, so empty. Some are crying out loud, some are sniffing or sobbing to themselves. It’s just a scene that makes me angry, more than anything. I have lost someone too, but I’ve never acted like this. I really, really hate all this drama. I stand up without anyone noticing. After making sure no one noticed me putting food in my bag ever so carefully (I need to bring some for my father), I head straight to my car. A guy can only take so much.

“Are you going home so soon?” a voice suddenly asks.

It’s Mirjana. I want to go home, sure, but I want to spend more time with her. It is actually one of the reasons why I came here. I was hoping to see her here because I assume everyone comes to these things.

“No, not really, I was just going to get something from my car,” I lie.

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

My heart is beating so fast. Does she know I’m lying because I still want to spend time with her? What the hell is going on with me? Am I actually using the wake as a meeting place for a date? This is just so lame. Anyway, just because you want to hang out with someone doesn’t really mean you like them, right? And yikes at the word ‘date’.

“Do you know her? I mean, the dead girl?” I ask, trying to change the subject.

“Why are you asking me?” she asks, sounding so amused. “You’re the one who went to the wake.”

“I think she’s… someone from school. They say she died tragically. It was a hit-and-run,” I inform her. It is lame, I know. I came to this wake and I didn’t even bother to know the dead girl’s name.

She laughs so heartily. I think I like her laugh.

“You asked something, and then you answered yourself. You’re such a funny guy.” I just stare at her, hoping I don’t look as embarrassed as I feel.

“Is this your car? I like it,” she says, after a moment of awkward silence. “Let’s go somewhere. Today is a rough day for me, too. Everybody is playing a joke on me.”

I stay silent as she rides in my car and sits beside me. My heart is doing this strange and fast beating and it’s too loud like a drum roll.

“Rough day, huh. You want me to give you a ride home?” I say coolly, hoping she doesn’t notice the shakiness in my voice. This is such unfamiliar territory. This is such an alien feeling. I’ve never had a girlfriend ever. But wait, why am I even thinking about having a girlfriend?

“I want you to take me anywhere you want. I’m just so upset,” Mirjana answers. I don’t really know where to go but I just keep driving. It’s not the destination, it’s the moment that’s making me so giddy.

“What’s upsetting you?” I ask curiously.

“Everything,” she replies.

“I think I will just take you home. I mean your home,” I add, not to be misunderstood. “Where do you live?”

If she has a problem at home, I don’t want to get involved. I already have enough problems of my own. Maybe I shouldn’t get involved in her drama. What was I even thinking? I swerve back to where we came from, to my dead classmate’s house.

“I want you to get out of my car,” I order.

“What? Why are you suddenly being mean? I don’t want to go home yet,” she says, with pleading eyes.

“I said leave,” I say angrily.

“You hate me just like everyone else! You hate me just like everyone else!” she yells repeatedly, as she steps out of the car. It hurts to see her hurting like that but I just don’t want to get involved. I have enough personal drama going on.

“I thought you were my friend,” Mirjana says. “You’re so conceited!”

Well, maybe I am, but so what?

I tell myself I did the right thing. She’s just going to be a problem. She’s a woman like my mother. She’s just going to be a problem, I know it. I drive for ten more minutes to nowhere until I notice it’s already too dark and it is drizzling. Mirjana! I need to go back and take her home. It’s dangerous out here at this time of the night. I think I was too harsh. I never should have left her there. For the second time tonight, I head back in the direction of the dead girl’s house where I left Mirjana. I am so worried and so guilty.

I notice it is too cold. I feel something eerie in the atmosphere like there is some unknown presence watching me. Maybe the dead girl is not happy with me having my own drama when I am supposed to be focusing on her tragic death, paying my respects. I think I am just going crazy with worry. I don’t see Mirjana anymore. It’s been like ten minutes and she is nowhere in sight already! Where did she go?

I see David and Vladimir coming out of the dead girl’s house. They are surprised to see me outside.

“We thought you went home already, man,” David says.

“Why are you out here? You left the wake too early. I know her mother looks so creepy, but still, you could have at least acted like you’re really in grief,” Vladimir adds, laughing.

“Yeah, man, nobody has met her mother until now,” David explains. “Maybe that’s why Anna never mentioned her. She looks like she’s a…” and he mouths something that sounds like ‘psycho’ to me.

“I just needed some air,” I answer. “I don’t know this dead girl anyway. I’ve never met her.”

“It’s still so tragic, bro,” David insists. “She was so popular. Everybody loved her. It’s so unbelievable that something like this would really happen to her.”

“That’s right. She was, like, Ms. Congeniality,” adds Vladimir. “When she laughs? Dude, it’s like her whole being is laughing with her. It’s so contagious, you’ll just find yourself laughing along.”

I wish he didn’t need to mention someone with a contagious laugh. It just makes me feel guilty about what I did to Mirjana. I think about asking them if they have seen Mirjana around, but I didn’t. They would just ask me why I am asking about some girl. And why am I really worrying about Mirjana? Because I’ve upset her for being such a world-class jerk, I answer myself.

I arrive home feeling really down and ashamed of myself. If only I knew where she lives, I would really head there now and apologize for the irrational way I acted.

“You’re home. Where have you been? Found a girl you like too soon?” I am surprised to hear my father’s voice. Actually, I am more surprised he’s actually sober.

“That’s really none of your business. Anyway, I brought food for you,” I say coldly. “Alcohol is really not good for an empty stomach.”

I notice his face light up upon hearing food, and he happily waits for me to hand it over to him. “Do you know all the greatest love stories are those of two people who fell in love with each other in a matter of days? Romeo and Juliet. Jack and Rose. I approve of this Raj, but you have to introduce this girl to me at least,” my father says, smiling and seemingly lost in thought.

“That’s a bunch of crap. Romeo and Juliet is just a romanticized tragedy. Romeo and Juliet were both just horny and stupid teenagers. As for Rose, she was just a whore. She was engaged to be married at the time she got involved with Jack,” I say.

He laughs. “Sometimes I think you’re too smart for your own good. But you know what, son? Love is like a bug. It doesn’t discriminate. It bites smart and not so smart people alike.” He starts humming a song with a lyric that sounds something like “I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again.” Ugh, my father and his love for pop songs. I wonder if this contributed to why that woman (yeah, my mother, unfortunately) left him. Of course, I am kidding. His only fault was he loved her too much. Still, his music taste sucks.

When he finally leaves me alone, my mind drifts back to Mirjana. Maybe I should text her an apology. Maybe there’s something I can do to make it up to her. I left her out there while it was drizzling and cold. What if something bad happened to her that’s why she disappeared? I brush the thought aside. Maybe coming from awake makes me think of morbid thoughts right now and I probably should just sleep it off. I feel goosebumps creeping into my skin because it is suddenly cold and I am freezing. I text Akio. I really can’t sleep no matter how hard I try.

Hey. I want to ask something If you’re still awake.

At your service, idol. What is it? Akio types back.

Do you know this girl named Mirjana?

Nope. I’ve never heard of her. Why?

Nothing. Thanks for replying, dude.

Lol, what? You sound like you haven’t texted anyone for so long, dude. You sound too formal. Thanks for replying, really? LOOOOOL

Too many laughing and sarcastic emojis make me so annoyed. Akio’s last text has so many of those in it. Okay, so I haven’t dated anyone. Who cares? I sigh in disappointment.

I’m not surprised he doesn’t know Mirjana. Yeah, she is pretty, but not really the noticeable kind. Yeah, right, but you noticed her, didn’t you? You like her, an irrational part of my brain reminds me.

I don’t really like her. I think I’m just guilty for being rude to her, I think to myself. I start laughing to hysterically remembering her saying I asked a question and then I answered it. She’s right, I really do talk to myself sometimes.

I promise myself I will make it up to her tomorrow. I will take her home after school and make it up to her. My heart flutters at the thought.

As I am drifting off to sleep, Akio sends me another message.

I asked everyone, an idol. No one really knows anyone named Mirjana. Do you know her last name?

I realize I don’t know her last name. I make a mental note to ask her the next time we talk. I just hope she’s not too upset with me and would still want to talk with me sometime…