Chapter 14: Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: HAPPY PLACE
R7.
RADJAN
I am surprised to get a text with a sense of urgency from Akio this early. According to his text, I need to join them in an important “group discussion” as he puts it. I really am so not in the mood to deal with Celeste again after what happened yesterday. Akio makes it sound like it is not optional, though. In the end, my curiosity gets the best of me and I go to the address he texted. It is the first time I am going to what I am assuming is his house.
I am not so sure I got the address correctly, because upon arriving, the house I am seeing looks abandoned.
“Hello?” I call tentatively, wondering if they are all somehow inside the house already. It is Denise who opens the door for me. I know right away that something is off just by looking at her face. She looks so agitated.
“Did – did something happen, Denise? Are you okay? Where are the others?” I bombard her with questions.
“I am really so sorry, Radjan,” she apologizes cryptically, with a voice that sounds very close to crying.
“Hold him!”
I am startled to hear Akio’s voice yelling with fury. Hold who? Before it all registered to me, David and Vladimir are suddenly holding both of my hands, as if I were a prisoner that should not be allowed to escape. They are holding me roughly.
“What is going on here?” I say, my voice a mixture of confusion and fear. Are they going to hurt me? “Akio, man, what the hell!” Akio looks at me with dead and cold eyes.
“What did you do to Celeste?” Akio asks, with a fake calm tone.
“Man, seriously? She was the one who did something to me!” I explain.
“She’s been on edge lately. I’d say since you came into our lives acting like you own the whole school,” Akio says. Gone is the carefree guy who calls me idol. I don’t recognize this guy in front of me anymore.
“Look, she’s admitted to following me all the time. I am creeped out by her. I didn’t do anything to her. This is so unnecessary. I thought you guys were my friends!”
“All I know is that she’s obsessed with this Mirjana person you asked me about, which, by the way, she said last night doesn’t even exist. Do you think you’re funny, huh?” Akio says, looking at me with hatred in his eyes.
“Seriously, guys, let him go,” Brittany says, in a pleading tone. “This is so stupid. Celeste is the one acting so weird, not Radjan. Why would you guys even blame him for her weirdness? She’s just, you know, obsessed with him and can’t take being rejected.”
“What happened to Celeste?” I asked, noticing David and Vladimir’s grip on me loosening.
“She drank herself to oblivion last night. I was so worried. She was slurring when we talked over the phone and all I could understand was that she needed to talk to you. I came to her house and saw how wasted she was. She said there is no one named Mirjana in the school database. She kept repeating she needed to talk to you,” Akio explains. “She didn’t text you?”
“No, she didn’t,” I say. “I really don’t know what her deal is. Of course, Mirjana is listed in the school database. She is my teammate Jason Marsh’s girlfriend. I don’t know what crap Celeste is pulling, but I can’t believe you guys would turn on me so quickly. Some ‘friends’ you are.”
Vladimir finally lets me go. “I think this is all a misunderstanding.”
“No kidding,” I say sarcastically. Akio is suddenly staring at his feet like it is the most interesting thing in the whole house.
“I’m sorry. We are all just worried about Celeste. She’s a wreck,” Akio says.
“You should all worry about yourselves. You guys are all freaks. Who think of luring a friend in an abandoned house? Were you going to beat me to death, huh? You are all seriously disturbed. Leave me alone, you hear me?” I say, feeling my fear dispersing and turning into dangerous rage.
---
My morning is already ruined just like that. Why did I even believe for one second that those freaks were my friends? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t believe in the word ‘friend.’ People are only your friends when they get something out of it.
I need something to calm me down. My rage is still at an all-time high. I check my phone to stare at Mirjana’s number. Finally, I manage a smile. Just seeing the heart emoji next to her name makes me remember of the happiness I feel whenever she’s around.
I don’t really believe that it is thrilling to go for someone’s girlfriend like I told her but there’s just something about her that makes me feel like there’s nothing I won’t do for her. If I’m being honest, our encounters are on top of my list of What Makes Me Happy. Even above basketball and showing off how smart I am in class.
It’s like I willed her to think about me, too, because I suddenly get a text from her. Cool! I think she already fixed her phone number glitch.
We’re still doing the history review, right?
I almost drop my phone. It’s the little smiley that gets to me. Like she’s so happy to see me, like she’s been thinking of me as much as I am thinking of her.
Sure. See you at school? I type.
Meet me at the cafeteria, she types back.
I almost drag my feet to the cafeteria from so much excitement. It takes a moment before I recognize her from the sea of people inside. She looks different than her usual, as if she’s hiding from someone. She also keeps looking over her shoulders very nervously. I wave at her and she quickly flashes me a smile.
“Hi,” I say nonchalantly. My heart is hammering in my chest again.
“Hey,” she answers. “I wrote a simple reviewer for you and highlighted important terms for you to review. I hope this helps.”
I take it from her and say ‘thank you’ robotically. My nerves are making me act funny. And when I say funny, I mean embarrassing.
“Do you remember when I told you last time that maybe you can’t just admit to yourself yet but time will come and you are going to realize something?” she says, probably trying to whisk away my nerves and taking the initiative to say some icebreaker.
As if I forget anything she says to me. “Yeah, what about it?” I ask casually.
“I think it applies to me too,” she says with a soft nervous chuckle. “I mean, it’s like you’re the only one who sees me.”
What did she say?
“W-what do you mean?” I ask, not sure where this conversation is going.
“I just mean it’s like everyone else sees me and acts as if I don’t exist in their universe. My boyfriend, for example. I mean ex. Even if he’s moved on and doesn’t love me anymore, I think he still shouldn’t act like I’m no one. Like we didn’t love each other once. You, however, you make me feel special. And I’m just thankful I have you.”
It’s like my mind stops registering a lot of what she is still saying from the moment she called Jason Marsh her ex. I have a chance. I have a real chance.
“Why do you look like you’re trying to look incognito then? Are you scared of him running into us?” I ask, not letting her notice I’m thankful I have you is playing repeatedly in my head.
“I just don’t want people talking. You know what I mean. You’re a star. I’m – ” she trails off.
“The queen,” I continue for her. “Don’t ever say again that you’re no one. You are Mirjana, Queen Mirjana, who makes even the best basketball player to walk the earth spell the word sorry while squirming in fear.”
She laughs so loud. I really love hearing it. It is my favorite imaginary ringtone.
“That didn’t even happen. You’re so funny, Radjan. You really are,” Mirjana says still laughing her heart out.
“Do you want something to eat? I’m going to buy us food before they kick us out of here,” I say, smiling at her, noticing that a lot are staring at us maybe wondering why we are even in here if we aren’t going to eat anyway.
While we are eating, I would sometimes notice her staring at my face, but whenever I would look up, she won’t meet my gaze and would pretend to be enjoying her food.
“I like you, Mirjana,” I suddenly blurt out, and it feels so good to finally say it out loud.
She just stares at me and doesn’t say anything. She then bursts out laughing, touching my mouth with her hand.
Okay, this is so embarrassing. I never imagined the first time I would say I like someone, there’d be crumbs of food somewhere on my face.
“It stuck,” she says, still trying hard not to keep laughing upon seeing the look of embarrassment on my face. “Let’s go to the basketball court. I want to tell you a secret.”
I know she didn’t really say she likes me too, but still; it feels good to say that to her and to be sharing this moment with her.
We stand up and she holds my hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I hope she won’t notice it’s actually trembling.
The moment we step on the court, she speaks right away. “I like you too, Radjan. Very much. That’s a secret.” She winks. My heart stops. For a moment, I can feel my panic level going up.
My hand is sweaty with nerves and I just stand there not knowing what to say or do. She likes me too. Very much!
She gives me a light peck on the lips. “See you around, Radjan,” she says in her sweetest voice ever. She kissed me! Mirjana kissed me! Or did she? It was a peck on the lips, like ducks do. I don’t want to have a love story like a duck’s.
“Mirjana,” I call as she is trudging slowly on the way out of the gym. She glances at me and stops walking. I walk ever so carefully towards her and then I go for it. I kiss her. A real kiss this time. Not a peck, not a smack, but a real, passionate kiss. She kisses me back. I literally can feel my heart bursting out of my chest. Like it suddenly grew jumbo size. I take back what I said about love. ‘Like’ is an understatement. Love is this, this is love. I can feel it from the depths of my soul. I am in love with Mirjana.
Love is the willingness to be in a situation full of uncertainties. Love is feeling as if your heart has grown so big it would consume you whole and more. Love is this wonderful feeling you don’t ever want to end. Love is something beautiful, something unique, something powerful, something mysterious and something you are willing to go above and beyond for. Love is Mirjana.
---
I feel like I already won a basketball championship because of the happiness I am feeling. I think it is more than happiness. I can’t even describe it. Coach tells us at practice that the televised league called TBA is starting in a month’s time and even that isn’t a big deal to me compared to what just happened between me and Mirjana. We are still texting even while Coach is explaining to the team something about the upcoming TBA.
“And you, Wade, because of your unacceptable behavior last time, are NOT going to play in the TBA,” Coach says. What? He is benching Daniel Wade, his own son?
“You could have seriously injured Carpiniello with what you pulled,” Coach adds. Murmurs of shock and disbelief from my teammates follow.
“Coach, that’s not really necessary. I know it was unintentional, part of the game. Let him play. I’m fine. It’s no big deal,” I say.
Daniel glances at my direction, looking so surprised. For a moment, our eyes meet. I recognize that look in his eyes. It is the same thing I see on my father’s eyes. Grief as strong as the strongest wave. My father may not have lost someone to death but the grief that is consuming him everyday feels like it. Daniel Wade is not a threat. He is a lonely soul who has been grieving for God knows how long. And I don’t blame him. This time I really don’t. When you combine grief with love, it is so potent I don’t think anyone can ever get out not feeling empty or dead on the inside.
“We need him, Coach,” Dimitri says, backing me up.
“He and Radjan together would carry us to the championship,” another one of my teammates, Lennard Hordoff adds.
The others also begin stating their own opinions. Some think maybe Daniel Wade can’t handle the pressure anymore because of what happened to his girlfriend, while some others think we don’t need anyone else to bag the title, Radjan Carpiniello is the real deal (thanks guys I’ll remember to thank you in my MVP speech!), but the general consensus is that Daniel Wade should be playing with us.
Coach takes a moment to decide and finally says, “Okay, if you pass the eligibility examination, you may play.”
I think I am texting Mirjana a lot that I missed the eligibility examination Coach has just mentioned. What about it?
“The eligibility test will cover all of your major subjects. All the lessons you have taken up in your classes may come up,” he explains as if reading my mind. “And I know you’re enjoying yourself so much texting someone, Carpiniello, but I am pretty sure nothing is more interesting than what I am discussing here. Give me that phone!”
Oh no! I can’t. it’s my Mirjana lifeline.
“Dad, please stop embarrassing me. I asked him to send me a list of topics we need to be studying to pass this test. I have been trying to catch up and I’m just asking for his help. Don’t get him in trouble,” Daniel explains.
That is a lie, though. I never texted him. I don’t even know his number. But I think I understand what he just did. He is returning the favor. I shoot a glance at him and he is also looking at me. I nod at him and he nods back.
“Fine. Keep that phone, Carpiniello. I don’t want to see it. This is a basketball practice. Faster, boys. I need you in position,” Coach says, letting the matter slide. “Let the practice begin.”
---
I wait for the others to leave the gym first before I finally head out, feeling all the butterflies in my stomach. Mirjana and I agree to meet after practice. Sure enough, she is right outside the gym waiting for me.
“Hi, basketball star!” she teases. “Where are we going tonight?”
“Hey,” I grin. “I am taking you to my home. I want you to meet my father. He is an embarrassment sometimes but… he sort of showed interest in meeting you. He said our love story is like those of the greatest love stories ever told.”
“Love story? Hmm… interesting. Like Romeo and Juliet?” Mirjana says, smiling so wide. She emphasized the word ‘love’ and I feel as if I’m melting. “And I’d love to meet your dad, Radjan.”
Oh no, not Romeo and Juliet. We aren’t horny teenagers. Or are we?
“No, we are more interesting than Romeo and Juliet. We are Radjan and Mirjana. Radjana,” I say, feeling so lame, but not really caring.
“Or Mirad,” she quips. “Why does your name get to be on the first syllable of our couple name?”
My heart is beating so fast. I swear I can hear the beating ringing in my ears. She referred to us as a couple!
“Radjan, you’re so cute. Sometimes you have this look in your face like you’re far, far away in another galaxy and enjoying it there. You smile to yourself a lot. You’re so cute, I mean it,” Mirjana says.
And you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes upon, Mirjana.
On the car ride, I turn on the music. Destiny seems to be on my side. A song plays with lyrics that specifically describe everything I am feeling at the moment. I’ve never been a believer in coincidences, but what are the odds?
I look at her and have to smile
As we go driving for a while
Her hair blowing in the open window of my car
And as we go, the traffic lights
I watch them glimmer in her eyes
In the darkness of the evening
And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh, and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me
“Eyes on the road,” Mirjana teases. “I’m not going anywhere.”
My internal concert is suddenly interrupted. I am humming to myself and singing my heart out in my head but her voice pulls me back. I’ve heard this song before, but I have never really shown any interest in it. Suddenly, it sounds so beautiful in my ears. I think anything random can turn into something special once you’ve already found someone who will give meaning to every little thing in your life.
“Mirjana, by the way, why are you not in any of my classes? Someone told me something ridiculous this morning. He said there is no Mirjana in the school database or something like that.”
I stop the car. We are home. “Maybe they don’t like me so they’re making things up?” she says, shrugging.
“Yeah, maybe. I just think it’s such a weird thing to say,” I say. I alight from the car, and open up the door on her side.
“I’m nervous,” she suddenly admits.
“You’ll be fine,” I say. She holds my hand as we walk towards the flat. Yeah, I am not really proud of my place nor my father. And I know my rich kid pretense would be over before this night ends but the hell I care. I am with my first and last love ever and nothing else matters to me anymore. Plus, isn’t it cool to have two people you care about know each other?
“Radjan!” my father says. I texted him to be sober today. I was vague and just said I’ll be having someone over. He replied with Juliet or Rose? which he probably thought was so clever. Better, was my last text in which he didn’t have a comeback to.
He ignores Mirjana as if she isn’t there. I have never felt so embarrassed.
“Dad, this is Mirjana, my…”
“I’m his girlfriend,” Mirjana finishes. My heart feels so warm. It feels so good to hear her confirm our relationship.
“Hi Mirjana, I am Sergio, Radjan’s father,” my father says to her, finally noticing I am with someone. He flashes her a grin and says, “It is very nice to meet you.”
This moment, Mirjana and my father meeting each other, has to be on my top ten list of Happiest Moments of My Life.
Life has been treating me well lately, if you think about it. I feel complete, as if there is nothing else I would ever need. Everything I need is right here…