Chapter 7: Chapter 7

-Pain is a Lesson-

It’s our last subject in the afternoon. I quickly climbed the stairs to get my things inside the classroom. Rhea and I were coming from our Garments class in the next building. I am still on the third floor but my feet were already shouting in pain. I am really tired from all the activities we had on our PE class.

What happened between me as Kalel at lunch made me rethink of my feelings and made me tremble on my knees. I haven’t answered his question yet. But, my heart is having a bad feeling that if I do say, yes. I might end up getting hurt.

LUNCH BREAK…

“Do you like me?” I was stunned by his question. I couldn’t find any words to answer him.

“I-I-“ he looked at me intently while I was trying to compose my answer. His eyes were like asking for an immediate answer as his closes in. There’s already a riot happening inside my chest, i couldn’t comprehend what I currently felt right now. I am stuttered by his question.

“Give me an answer, please. I really wanted to know.”

“I think, I think…” I took a deep breath and started to talk.

“I’m an ugly duckling Kalel. It’s impossible for me to fall in love with you. And even if I do feel that way, I still have to face so many things. There were beautiful women around who were after you. And I don’t have the right to compete with them.

“Then don’t compete with them.” He sincerely said.

“I hope it’s as easy as counting 1 to 10. I hope feelings can just be measure by a ruler or a measuring stick but it’s not. It’s painful, and I have felt that.”

“What do you mean?” he cupped my face.

“What I mean is that the world is such a harsh place for people like me. We didn’t have the right to choose for men whom we want to love. We don’t have the right to do that.”

“You’re beautiful, and I will say it a couple of times until you would believed it yourself.”

“Honestly, I really have.” I was about to say it. When our classmates who just came from lunch suddenly came up on the door.

“Zach why were you here?” I quickly stood up and tried to walk away from him. I quickly go back to my seat and pretended to open a book. Kalel looked at me but I was quick enough to avoid his gaze.

“Nothing, I just came to check something.” He then vanished from the room.

I had to make a quick meeting in the SSG headquarters before heading out home today. After the class, I then got myself ready and headed out. We will be discussing few stuffs about the incoming World Teacher’s Day. It’s a huge celebration and all clubs were directly tapping us as the head of the program.

When I got myself inside the room, I then started to hand them the fliers I had prepared beforehand. All club representatives were there. In a few minutes, i have explained to them the concept, theme and ideas we have gathered from the students during the poll voting.

“Those were the proposed plans for the World Teacher’s Day Celebration. As you can see, the food and the sound system has been approved already by the faculty. Other stuffs such as the concept of venue is also ready. Our different committees would be the one taking care of it. I’ll just talk to you guys after this meeting.” I smiled looking at the committee members taking down notes.

“But, there’s still one thing we can’t decide on. It’s the decorations. So if someone could suggest me something. I would be very glad to hear it.” I then looked at them who’s now avoiding my gaze.

“Is there anyone?” I asked again. I turned my gaze into our Creative Committee.

“Remma, Do you have something in mind?”

“Nope.” She timidly answered.

“How about the others? Do you have any suggestions?” I sighed silently. I think I was the only one being focused on this meeting.

My attention was then stolen when someone from the back raised his hand. I can’t barely see him but the masculinity of his shoulders felt so familiar.

“I have a suggestion.” I was stunned when he got up from his chair and spoke. Kalel is here, it’s very rare for him to attend a gathering set up by the Student Council. When he gets an invitation, he would always decline and had to avoid by making so many alibis. For so many times that we had our meeting I haven’t seen any representative from the Badminton Club. They rarely send representatives.

I looked at him closely, he is wearing his white badminton shorts, bandanna and still dripping in sweat. My heart then started to beat differently again.

“Yes, Kalel.” I formally said looking at him. He smiled secretly and it made my heart bounce. I am like an artist staring at a beautiful masterpiece.

“Pres, are you okay?” Trixie tapped my hand.

“Ah, y-yeah I’m fine.” I quickly said.

“About the decorations, it would be better if we are going to use the old cloth and the recycled materials we had in decorating the venue. The fact that it’s environmental-friendly, it’s very affordable as well. In that way, we can use the funds for the decorations in a much greater cause.” He paused for a bit then continued to speak.

“So instead of spending too much on the decorations. We could use the money to purchase additional tokens and gifts for the teacher’s on top of that we could also provide the other funds to the other clubs, they might as well have a simple celebration on their own.” He then looked at me and ended it with a smile before sitting down.

My jaws dropped from the words he said. He seems to be an expert on this kind of things. He seemed like a different person when he’s being serious. He’s damn attractive when he speaks with wisdom. I feel like falling for him even more.

“Pres, everybody is waiting for your answer. We had our approval with it. We were just waiting for you to say something.”

“I’m sorry. Yes, I so for myself also thought that was a very good idea, but, It seems very ambitious and tiring.”

“Pres what were you saying?” everybody speaks in unison.

Kalel slowly walked closer to me. He’s so damn serious, his eyes catches mine and I can’t stand to look at him directly. His eyes gazes at me as if I did something awful to him. Well, I really did something bad and awkward to him. I just rejected his wonderful suggestion in the middle of nowhere. What am I thinking?

“Well, I respect your decision but do you really think that the budget could be enough for this huge event. Besides, we already knew that our funds were limited.”

“So you’re telling me Mr. Rodriguez that my decision to reject your proposal isn’t the most logical and justifiable answer? If w were going to divide the funds into the different clubs, isn’t it much costly and hassle?” I sarcastically said.

“That’s why we are going to use recyclables.”

“And that’s why I said no.” I firmly said. “It would loose the essence of this event. And what about the next administration, how would they function well if they didn’t have enough funds at the beginning of the year. Yes, they have to do fundraisings again and that alone would cost us. That’s why I am making a logical move here.”

“So, my proposal meant nothing to you.” I don’t know but that sentence seems to have double meaning to it. “You know what, I really don’t understand you sometimes. That’s because you aren’t telling me everything, you were being unreasonable.” His voice became pitched. He seemed really frustrated. It seems like we were not talking about the meeting anymore.

“Unreasonable? Me?” I sarcastically pointed at myself.

“yeah, you are being unreasonable! Now, tell me If you have a better idea.”

I was left stunned with the question. I can’t seem to process any ideas on my mind.

“Y-yeah, I already have ideas on my mind, but I am not that rash to share it to everyone without finalizing it first.” I trembly said.

“See, you have nothing to say because you were being unreasonable. You knew I was right and everyone was right but you neglected us. You are being selfish and dishonest.”

I didn’t know what would I feel after hearing those words coming from him. I was about to cry in front of them but I held my tears. It’s painful to hear words like those coming from the person you love. It’s like bruising and cutting my heart into pieces

A few seconds of holding it in I had finally decided to let go of my tears. I’m crying and I couldn’t stop it. I’m not crying because I was humiliated or angry with Kalel, but it’s because there’s a painful reality to those words. I realized that my selfishness and dishonesty had been hurting me long enough.

“Let’s adjourn this for now.” Rhea said in the middle of the silence.

I quickly get out from the room. I want to be alone. I don’t want them to see my tears as they keep on falling. And most importantly, I don’t want everyone to see me being weak.

My tears and feelings don’t matter anyway.