Chapter 37: Chapter 37

...Let me cry and swell my eyes; in thy embrace, to drench thou in the flood of tears...

Lawrence POV:-

The sea of uncertainties in my chest, I want to release it and gain the feeling of divine solace once again. I want to feel her warmth again.

My breath resides in her heart. My life is in chaos now that my breath is away from me.

I want redemption from all this tribulation and desiring that reclamation of trust, I have decided to release both of us from unclear thoughts which can leave a deep mark of grief on our marriage.

All the talks of heart which misleads me to the pits of sorrow, I have decided to leave that behind and listen to her.

Craving the feeling of the deep pleasure of her touch and presence. I went to see her, to fill my hollow being with her aesthetic features and with the intentions of ending this suffering of us.

I went to her home and took a deep breath and went inside. I arrived early in the morning because I had enough.

I entered and saw Uncle, Aunt and Jane looking at me angrily. Jane scoffed and left. Uncle looked at me and let out a sigh,

"She is sleeping." I nodded and was about to go and see her but uncle held my arm.

"Who told you to wake her up?" He said with a scowl.

"I deeply apologize for my delay, I know I am too late to return but I am here now and I am not going away now. I am very sorry for my deed.” I apologized sincerely.

“But, I need to see her first. More than anything. So does she." I said decently so uncle might understand but he didn't and opened his mouth to say something to stop me but Aunt interrupted, "Let him go. They need to sort things out first."

"Have you seen her? Just what has he done to her that she became like this?" Uncle growled at me. What have I done?

"Uncle, Afflictions don't start unless they are provoked," I said calmly.

"And what is this affliction? And what exactly provoked it, huh?" He asked furiously.

"I am sorry, Uncle, but this is our private matter." He glared at me and let me go.

"If you excuse me. I must see my wife. I am already very late to get my Evelyn." I said sternly and left to see her but before going I heard uncle saying,

"She was crying all night. She has just slept."

I looked down in deep regret and entered her room. My heart began to pound faster by each passing second. I gulped and exhaled to muster some courage to face her.

I saw her sleeping. A feeling of repentant that I caused this much dismay to her, filled me. I gave her this much consternation that she has turned pale now.

A weak body with a weak soul- I broke. Stopping my urge to cry at her condition, I called her name softly,

"Evelyn.." I stood in front of her but I didn't have enough strength to come closer when tears brimmed in my eyes. What have I done to her? How can I blind myself so much in rage?

The intensity of tension is so thick that it can easily be seen by one. I inhaled and called her again,

"Evelyn..."

She moved a little and opened her eyes. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she sat up and looked at me as if she was seeing an illusion.

“Lawrence?” She asked which evoked a tear from the corner of my eyes.

“Yes.” I whispered wholeheartedly, forcing out a smile.

The look of bewilderment didn't last any longer than a second as she immediately hugged me. She gave me a tight hug and began to cry.

God, I missed that warmth.

She held me close to her showing her affection and the martyrdom she has felt till now.

I was about to hug her back but I heard her cries. And that time everything around me stopped.

I made her cry.

My heart ached at the fact that I promised to be a good husband and never hurt her but I hurt her the most.

All those lacks of conviction in me faded as if it never existed in the first place and I felt nothing but penitence.

"Lawrence... Please have a little trust in my love for you.." She said between the sobs.

I remained stoic and no matter how much I wanted to feel her close to me so that it can give me deep satisfaction; I stood motionless and she continued to cry causing havoc in my desolated heart and mind.

But now she is here, the feeling of isolation is filled with those affectionate feelings I have always felt.

After she cried enough to soak my chest, She pulled away and her teary and lost eyes met my repentant one. She gave me a pleading look; the plea to stop this and trust her for once.

To put a halt to the distress which is causing her to crumble apart. I looked down and walked past her and sat on the bed. She also sat beside me and called my name,

"Lawrence..."

My soul lives to hear that melodious voice which is my sweet addiction. I looked at the vulnerable form of my wife and my lips deceived my heart as they said something that didn't even cross my mind,

"Evelyn... If I asked you to prove your loyalty to me, would you do it?"

I am extremely furious at my idiotic self to ask such an absurd question. How can I speak after hurting her so much?

We looked at each other as she passed me a soft smile and said, "Even if you asked me to jump out of this window just to prove my love, I'll gladly do it for you..."

My eyes widened as I said in a broken voice as tears brimmed in my eyes.

"How can you love someone like me? Why are you so loyal to me? I don’t deserve you… I hurt you… You are so good to me, don’t love me that much.. I am such a bad husband… "

“I broke my promise, I couldn’t keep you happy, I am sorry, I am so sorry..” I whispered, wiping my tears.

She moved closer and rested her head on my shoulder.

"I Love you..."

That's all she said and I am at an utter defeat of doubting and being angry at her.