Chapter 24: Chapter 24

I actually learned a lot about Mark. He told me about his mom, his friends and experience from elementary, middle, and high school. About college and the story about Callie, his ex that I met and what he did with her that made him hate her so much.

I also told him about me. My mom, what I remember and now. My friends and just experience in elementary, middle, and high school. About college and if I even want to go. I'm not sure I do. He asked me about one of my ex's and reasoned that I found out one of his and reasoned that he will probably forget eventually. I ended up telling him. I also told him about my first round of cancer.

Charlie brings me out of remembering last night after I woke up after the song. "You love Mark?" He asks.

"Yes. I do." I say wiping my eyes.

"You've only known him for like a few months." He reasons.

"You probably only knew Abby for a month before." I snap back.

"That's different." He tries to play off.

"Is it?" I ask. "Is it so different that you have to tell me that I'm crazy for being in love when you have a pregnant girlfriend. She's almost 4 months pregnant and you have only known her for 6." I snap, not bothering to wipe my tears anymore.

He sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Don't do that. Don't say sorry out of pity for me." I say facing away from him. "Can you leave? I want to be alone."

"Sure. I'll come back later." Then he leaves. I hear him hesitate at the door, but goes out anyway.

When the door fully shuts I let the sobs out. I want Mark to come back. I want him to sing again. He sang to calm me and help me fall asleep. It helped my head too and all this crying is making it worse.

I look around for my phone to call him. "Hello?" He answers. I can't get an answer. I just sob into the phone. "Alyanna. What's wrong."

I take a breath to calm myself enough to get a sentence out. "Can you come quick? I need you. Nothing's wrong medically, I just need you." That was way too much word for one breath. I want him to come, I just don't want to explain. He'll ask what happened and I don't want to tell him I love you like this.

"I'm on my way." I heard him say this before I hung up.

The nurse comes in and sees me like this. "What happened?" She asks me.

"Nothing big, I just need my husband." I say through sobs. She might not even be able to understand me.

"Do you need me to call him?" She asks.

"No, I called him. Can I just have some water?" I ask looking up.

"Of course." She says give me a box of tissues before leaving. She comes back a little later with a glass and a pitcher of water.

"Thank you." I say to the nurse as she hands me the glass filled with water.

Not long after Mark comes rushing in. "You ok?" He asks, setting the stuff down and coming over to sit with me.

"Yeah, I just... I needed..." I sigh. "I don't know. I just needed to see you. Charlie and I had a fight." I know exactly what is next. He's going to ask about what. I'm not ready to lie.

"What was it about?" He asks.

"Can I tell you later. I don't feel like talking." I answer. He just stares blankly at me waiting for me to change my mind and explain. "So what did you bring?" I ask, changing the subject.

"I brought your backpack and mine, some food from the hotel, and your favorite Bruce Willis movies. I went to every video store I could to get them." Mark says, presenting them along the table.

My backpack has the picture I'm drawing for Mark in it. "Can you hand me my backpack?" I ask reaching out for it. He hands it to me.

"So which first?" he asks, pointing to a few of the movies. He brought other ones besides Bruce Willis movies. "How about Deep Impact." I say. That movie is another one of my favorites.

"Coming right up." He says. I take this time to grab the picture and my sketchbook to finish the picture. "Whatcha drawing?" Mark asks to take a seat in the chair next to my bed.

"Nothing really, now watch the movie, you'll like it." I say pointing to the screen with my pencil.

Mark doesn't say anything which is surprising for him. I'm almost done with my picture about 30 minutes into the movie. I look over to Mark who is staring very intensely at the screen. "Hey, Mark, are you ok?" I ask pushing him slightly to get his attention.

"Huh. Yeah just watch the movie." He says shaking off a little.

"You sure? You haven't asked one, annoying question." I say somewhat cringing when I say annoying. Mostly fake cringing.

"That's the reason. I've been holding my breath so I don't ask questions." He explains letting out a long breath.

"Why?" I ask. "Don't treat me differently just because of... this." I gesture to the room around us not really wanting to say the word.

"Sorry I just didn't want to make your headache worse." He says pausing the movie.

"Well that's very kind of you, but don't change the way you are just because I have... cancer." I drag out. "I sometimes like the way you ask too many questions. Not many people I know do that. I like to express my love and knowledge for movies like this and surprise people on how much I know about this stuff. Like with the Die Hard movies. That was fun and you were surprised when you found out that it was my favorite movie." I explained.

"So I can ask questions?" Mark asks sarcastically.

"Yes. You can." I am annoyed. "You asking that question was more annoying then the movie ones."

"Sorry," he says, turning back to the TV.

"Stop saying sorry!" I yell at him.

"Sor... Ok." he says, correcting himself.

"Good." I say nodding. "Now, any questions so far?" I ask.

"Uhh... You know what, I forgot them all." he says laughing. I join him and throughout the movie I finish my picture and wait for many questions now that Mark knows that he can ask them. He doesn't ask that many.

After the movie I tried to figure out how to give him his picture. "Happy honeymoon." I say rushed.

"What is it?" He asks. I folded it up so it hid a little.

"Unfold it." I say. He does and looks at it for a while without saying anything. "Do you like it?" I ask.

I think I see a tear coming from his eye. "Yeah. Of course I like it." He turns to me. "Thank you." He says through an unguarded smile. He turns back to the picture. "How did you do this?" He asks.

"Photographic memory, remember. And I took a picture of it." I say giving in.

"I love it. Thank you." Then he comes up on the bed and gives me a hug.

We watch another movie and I fall asleep in Mark's arms. Again. I wake up to the sound of the door opening. "Hey is she sleeping?" I hear my dad ask Mark.

"No." I say sitting up slowly this time. I learned my lesson.

"Hey. How ya feeling?" He asks.

"Better than before." I say truthfully. I have felt better. I just wish Mark would sing again.

"Good." He says as he sits in the chair Mark was in. "So I talked to Liz. She is about 2 hours out."

"Sounds good. Do you know if anyone else is coming?" I ask.

"I don't know what she wouldn't say." He says getting up. "If you don't mind. I'd like to freshen up at the hotel." He says kissing me in my head.

"Ok. See you later dad." I say giving him a hug.

As Mark and I watch movies and the doctor comes in sometimes to check on me and also some nurses. I teach Mark how to draw some things and he's actually pretty good. We go through another movie before my mom gets back as well as my dad. Charlie still hasn't come back so I decide to text him. I need to forgive him and I want everyone here.

"Where's my baby?" My mom asks, rushing in.

"Right here mom." I say sitting up and giving her a hug. I see Sophie staging behind. "Hey Soph." I say give her a hug as well.

"Hey. How are you?" She asks. I don't like that everyone is asking that.

"Better than before." I say the exact thing I said to my dad.

"Good, good. So how have you been? Being married for a couple weeks?" My mom asks, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"It's pretty good. We did some cool stuff." Mark answers for me. I'm really tired, almost too tired to talk.

"Like what?" Sophie asks.

"We went snorkeling, and boating. Lots of touristy stuff." I say resting my head on Mark's chest again.

"Well we should leave you two alone, you look like you should get some sleep." My mom says getting up.

"No wait. Dad and Charlie will be here soon. I have something I want to tell you all." I say.

My mom looks at me skeptically. "Alright. But can we get some more chairs in here?" She asks, already looking for the call button on the remote.

A nurse comes in a few seconds later. "Yes?" She asks. "How can I help you?"

"Can we get a few more chairs?" I ask for my mom. The nurse nods and comes back with a stack of chairs.

Charlie and my dad got here not 5 minutes later.

"So what did you want to say?" Charlie asks, avoiding looking at me.

I'm not sure how to say this so I just spit it out. "I want to cut my hair." It came out way too rushed. They might not have understood me.

"What?" My dad asks.

I hesitate. "She said she wants to cut her hair." Sophie answers for me. I give her a smile.

"Really? Why?" My dad asks.

"It's going to fall out anyway so why not cut it and donate it before it gets affected by the treatment." Last night I asked a nurse if that was possible and she said it was.

"Why?" Charlie asks. How come Mark's the only one who isn't asking questions?

"Why not. My hair will most likely last a week or two at most after I start so why not get rid of it." I say. I've made up my mind that I'm going to do this no matter what.

"I think it's a good idea." Mark finally speaks up. Everyone looks to him. "If you're losing your hair, you might as well lose it for a good cause." He shrugs. I whisper a soft thank you to him.

"I still think you should keep it long. You've been growing it out since the last time." Charlie says. He is still mad at me and I'm mad again.

"Well it's not your decision." I say getting mad. "I've already talked it out with the nurse. She's sending someone in here to do it in about 5 minutes." I'm not backing down. "Now if you don't want this. Leave." I'm deadpan.

Charlie leaves and my mom turns too but Sophie stays put. "Come on Sophie. We're going back to the hotel to call your father." She goes to grab Sophie's arm.

Before they leave Sophie mouths a sorry to me. I smile and nod to her reassuringly.

That just leaves my dad, Mark, and I. "Dad..." I start as I sigh. He puts his hand up to stop me.

"No. I understand. I was just curious why you wanted to do it." He comes to sit on the other side of me, opposite of Mark. "I'll always support you.

No matter what." He says kissing my forehead. "Also. I think this is a really good thing."

"Me too. For both things." Mark says, grabbing my hand.

"Want me to stay?" My dad asks.

"If you want to. I understand you still have to work." If I'm being honest, the only person I want here is Mark. He hasn't once fought with me about what I should do.

I could tell my dad was lying about something, I don't know what but he was. My mom was mad at me for getting married so young. Will thought I was pregnant and that's stereotypical. Charlie and I had a fight about being in love. Sophie has to go with her mom even though she wants to stay here. So that just leaves Mark.

"I have a conference call in a half hour, but I can push it back." My dad

says.

"Dad, you don't have to push it back. Marks here. I'll be ok." I reassure him, hoping he'll leave. I know that sounds harsh. I don't know why I want this.

He nods and gives me a half smile as he walks out the door. As he walks out the nurse comes in with another person who has the scissors and comb to cut my hair?

"So how much do you want off?" The woman with the supplies asks.

"As short as you can get. I want to donate as much as I can." I say pulling my hair out of my ponytail.

"Well I'd say we can get about three sections." She says looking at my hair and playing with it.

"Really?" I ask. "It's that long?"

"Really?" I ask. "It's that long?"

"Yep." She starts sectioning my hair off. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks.

"Yes. It's going to fall out anyway, why not just cut it before that." I deadpan paraphrased what I said earlier to my family.

"Ok. Want me to count down?" The lady asks. I hear the scissors open and close. I shake my head no and then I hear a snip. "One cut done. Two to go." She says directed at me. I don't listen after that really.

This hurts me. Not physically of course, but I've been trying to grow my hair out as long as possible from when chemo stopped. Only getting half inch trims to freshen it up. Anything to help it be as long as possible. Special shampoo and conditioner even to help with growth. But if I'm losing it might as well put it to good use. Some other little girl or grown girl, I don't know, will get this and feel more secure. I'm secure enough with just a hat.

"Done." She says putting the stuff away. "Here." She says handing me the mirror.

My hair is now a little past my chin. I try my best to smile. "Thank you." I really mean it. This is good. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

"I like it." Mark says to me to try to cheer me up. That's how I took it at least.

"A lot is changing these past couple weeks." I think out loud. That is definitely true. I got married, went to Hawaii which, I've never been to before. Found out about the second round of cancer, soon I'm going to move into Mark's apartment with him. Charlie wont speak to me, I don't know if he will anytime soon. My mom will eventually talk to me hopefully. I just think she's stressed about this whole thing with cancer.

"Hopefully for the better right?" Mark asks, shrugging.

"Mostly." I respond sighing at all the good and bad things that are changing.