Chapter 11: Chapter 11

"They're going to come here?" As I look through my bag for my swimsuit, Mark asks.

"Not this high. There's a pool." I go to the bathroom and find my swimsuit. "We should get to know each other. I'd like to be friends with all of them."

"I agree with that, but I just wanted to stay up here and watch the rest of the Die Hards." I'm back from the bathroom.

"I'm not going to keep asking you too many questions. You must also come." I say you should poke him in the chest.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit." He deadpans.

I shake my head. "Sure, sure. Even if you hadn't just worn the shorts you're wearing now. Everyone does it."

Now, he sighs and rolls his eyes. I've won. "Fine."

"Many thanks. Now move quickly. Before they get here, we need to get down there." He just sighs and changes his shirt.

No one is there when we're down there. Not a single person. We are the only ones in the pool. When we're all set up, my mom texts me that they've arrived. "I'll be back, I'm going to open the door for them." I say to Mark. He just nods his head and sits down.

I see them when I walk into the lobby. "Alyanna!" Hannah yells running over to me for a hug.

"Hey. I saw you like 10 minutes ago." I say smiling.

"A seven-year-old can't sit still for 10 minutes." I chuckle a bit.

"Mark is already at the pool, though. Let's go." I show you the way. The doors were shut. Oh no, I forgot to take my card out.

Mark just laughs when I knock on the door. I playfully glare at him, and he comes over and opens the door.

"Someone forgot something." He picks on me.

"Shut up." I turn my attention back to the other people. "So, everything is set up over there. Enjoy."

Sophie and Hannah bring their things over to the table. Sophie calls out, "Cannonball!"

Hannah just goes to the steps and stands there. Mark and I sat down together. "I heard that you asked Sophie and Hannah to come to the wedding." Will says.

"Yep. Sophie is one of my bridesmaids, and Hannah is our flower girl." I say. I'm starting to like Will.

"Don't you think Sophie is a bit young?" He asks.

"No, when I was her age, I was one." I turn to look at the pool. "I'm just glad she said yes. "I don't think she can hear me because she's under water. "I really didn't think she liked me," she said. I'm quiet.

"That's wrong. She had to just get used to the thought." My mom smiles at me to make me feel better.

"Well, I'm going to the pool to cool off." I take off my shirt and pull up my hair.

"Wait, you're inked?" She asks me. I turn around and see that her eyes are a bit wide. Marks are also wide, but not as much.

"Yeah. We got them for his 18th birthday with Charlie. Dad said it was ok." I said.

"What's that?" Will asks.

"A ribbon for cancer." Then I jump into the pool.

"Why did you decide to do that?" She asks me. I really do not want to talk about this right now. Mark also doesn't know.

I only say, "For me."

"Can you say more?" Will asks. Why do they keep putting the question off? Well, now everyone knows.

"Cancer killed me." The key word is "had."

Everything stopped all at once. All eyes went wide. Great, here come more questions.

"Of what?" Sophie asks. I thought my mom or Will would call, but I still picked up the phone.

"Leukemia." I say. Everyone's quiet. "You know what? I'm going to the vending machine to get a soda." I say that I'm trying to leave the room before I start crying.

Before I leave the room, I hear someone getting up. I think it is either my mom or Mark.

I walk toward the vending machines with a towel wrapped around me. I put my head on the wall and start crying. I have no idea why. Maybe thinking about it still hurts. Maybe I didn't want Mark or anyone else to find out that way.

I can hear someone in the back. Mark, "Hey!" I figured it out.

"What?" I ask. I'm not trying to be mean.

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right." He says.

I look at him and walk over to hug him. "No, I'm not ok. I don't know what's making me cry. I dislike this. I hate that this is how they had to find out. My mother is probably very sad that she couldn't be there for me."

"Is that what's making you sad?" Mark pulls away from me and asks. He is giggling. What's making him laugh? "Your heart is big." Again, he puts his arms around me. "Others would think about themselves, but you think about other people."

I chuckle a bit. On my 7th birthday, when I let everyone have a piece of cake before me, my dad told me that. I got the last tiny piece of cake and that was enough for me.

"That's the kind of laugh I like." Mark says. I had no idea that he liked the way I laughed. I'm going to have to remember that.

I back off. "Thank you."

He nods. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." I say. But before we can get back in the house, I see my mom looking over at us.

"I'm sorry I listened in on your conversation. I just wanted to say I'm sorry." I knew she would act like this. I can see that her eyes are getting wet.

"It's not necessary. I'm ok now." I take her hands and give her a big hug. "You are now here. All that matters is that." I move away from her and give her the most comforting smile I can muster.

"Yes, but-" I stopped her.

"Nope. Let's stop talking about this now and go back to the pool area." I put my arm around her shoulder and turn her around. Time to talk about something else. "So, what will you wear to my wedding?" I say this in a joking tone to try to make everyone laugh.

She gives me a good laugh. "I'm not sure, what's the main color?"

"Purple. But you can wear whatever you want. I'm just happy that you'll be there."

"Me too." She says she opened the door and jumped into the pool to join her new family.

It will take a while, but I'll get used to the idea of her leaving me for another man. I like, if not love, the idea of having siblings. I've always wanted one, or maybe two, or even three. Even though it's not the most common way, I still have them.

I smile at my family, who don't do things the usual way, and walk over to join them. Mark came too.

I'm sitting in the hot tub with Mark. Just talking about different things. I'd like to talk about... my cancer. I know he feels the same way, but we don't want to talk in front of them. So, we just talk about what we really want for the wedding, even though John makes it pointless.

…

I'm sitting in the hot tub with Mark. Just talking about different things. I'd like to talk about... my cancer. I know he feels the same way, but we don't want to talk in front of them. So, we just talk about what we really want for the wedding, even though John makes it pointless.

"I'd like to have a flower arch. Don't laugh at me, I know it's strange." Mark says. He wouldn't be funny to me. I want that to happen.

"I'm not going to laugh at you. Even though it's a bit feminine." He is looking at me. I laugh. That's all there is to it. He makes this face when he wants to look angry. It's hard to describe, but so funny!

"What are you laughing at?" He asks, getting defensive.

"Your face." He does nothing but sigh, roll his eyes, and stand up.

I ask, "Where are you going?"

"Getting away from you. You're mean." He says the last part like a child who doesn't get what they want would say to their parents. He jumps into the pool and pays no attention to me at all. I'm fine with it. He's just messing around, I know.

Sophie walks over to me after getting out of the pool. "Hey. Can I come with you?" She wonders. She seems interested in talking to me.

"Of course. Please sit down." I don't want to ask her what's wrong; I want her to tell me. I don't want to be someone who pushes someone to do something they don't want to do. She can tell me or ask me anything she wants.

"May I ask you a question?" She says she wants to get in the tub. I predicted it.

"Sure, why not?" I won't say anything else because if I do, he might not want to talk any more.

"What was it like? I mean, when did my mom leave?" I didn't expect this to happen. I just stare at her with a little bit of surprise on my face. "She shared her side with me. I'm just curious about yours."

"Uh ok. Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes. But if you can't remember or don't want to talk about it. That's fine with me." In the last part, she seemed to be standing up for me. Why? "I remember," I tell her, and then I turn away.

"I'm curious. No sugar coat." She goes on. I looked at her again. I can tell by the look in her eyes that she really wants to know.

"Ok." I take a big sigh. "When I was 5, she left. I watched her get everything ready to leave. I remember asking her if we were going somewhere. She just told him she was. She called a car and asked a nice lady down the street to come watch me until my dad got home. My dad worked late. So, she put me to bed, kissed me goodnight, and left. At the time, I didn't know why she was saying goodbye, but I found out a few days later."

"Didn't your father try to protect you by telling you lies?" She interrupts.

"Sure, I'll do that." I take another break before going on. "My dad tried to keep me safe, as you said. Whenever I asked him about her, he would start to cry and say that she had gone on a trip. He tried to cover up the tears, but I saw through it. I went into his room a few days later to watch something. I was trying to find the remote when I came across a letter she had written to him. It was something like, "I can't be stopped here any longer." Both you and Alyanna are stopping me." I turn to look at her. She appears to be about to cry. "I apologize. But the truth is that. I can remember almost everything. I can remember everything that has happened to me since I was 3 years old."

She draws in a deep breath and tries hard not to cry. "I didn't think my mom would ever leave someone. She left you and your dad. From what you said, it sounds like she broke your heart." Her tears are now falling. "When I say I don't want her to leave me, I feel so selfish. I apologize."

"No, you don't need to apologize. It's all right to feel like that. And I promise you that your mom will never leave you. All those years ago, she was in a bad place. They got married when they were young. And had me young. It wore her down so much that she couldn't take it any longer. My dad often worked late, and I was hard to handle. She couldn't help me in any way." I put my arms around her and gave her a hug.

Now, she lets her tears fall. Hannah laughing and screaming makes it too loud for anyone to hear us. "I apologize." Sophie talks quietly.

"Do not." I squeeze her tighter. "I love you, even though we've only just met."

"I love you too. Many thanks." She says this as she pulls away and wipes her eyes. "Wait. So, your parents got married when they were young, and now you're doing the same. Does that make you think about getting married in a different way?"

Her question surprised me. I've never thought about that, not that I had or have a choice. I turn my look of surprise into a smile. The real deal. "No, it doesn't. I care about Mark, and I hope he still cares about me." I turn around and see that he is talking to Will and playing with Hannah.

"He does." She says, "You're looking at me." I can tell by the look in his eyes.

"Let's take a break and cool off." I tell her as I grab her hand and move toward the pool to jump in.