Chapter 56: Chapter 56

The feeling of being in a dream, with scary monsters walking around but never touching, you'll feel unscathed but surely terrified. The feeling of having to run a marathon in a scary dream, feeling something pulled you back with all the might left in you, no matter how you'll try-you'll never reach the desired place with your running mates. The feeling of falling from a high building of about 500 height, but instead of you to fall on the ground-you'll feel as if the clouds and wind were doing some sort of a lullubay to your already scared self. The feeling of something horrific thorny, diving into your flesh without an ounce of pity, but as you wake you; you'll find it all as a dream. The worst of it; was feeling of one of your closest beloves has died, having to wake and heave a sigh-thinking that it was all a dream like the usual ones_but the heart peircing reality would hit on you-seeing a figure layed straight on the floor just some inches away from you-all clad in a white cotton you're sure was never meant for fashion.

She felt everything like a dream, even the white figure she saw laying away from her doesn't seem like real. She wants someone to tap her shoulder-the water drenched on her did nothing to bring her to the world of real. She crawled to white figure, for all she could see was white cotton, her hands were shaky as they lifted up the yard that was placed on its head-the only place left open before it would be tied all over.

The face that revealed its self was monstrous. It was the face she knew from childhood, the face she usually finds solace from, the face that always smile lovingly at her, and the face that has the hands that always pats her shoulder with so much love. It was the face she played with as child, the face she looked upto with teary eyes, and the face she worked all her life to put a smile on.

She thought she had gone blind, with the same hands that felt wobbly-she placed them on the face that was her means of life-and true to her eyes-he was the one! Her Abba, layed on the floor with white yard all over his body. It wasn't sewn as a normal cloth, it was only cutted into the shape of his body and he was tied and rolled all over with only white! He has his eyes close, his face fresh and cold, and the lips that ever utter genuine nice words to her held a soft smile on them.

She looked at his nose, the long pointed nose she've always envied, was closed with a white cotton wool that blocked any source of air. She still wasn't convinced, she wants it to be as a dream of falling from a high building, a dream of seeing horrifying monsters, and a dream of being dived with a thorn and wake up all fine.

The same hands that touched his face moved to the upper part of his body, and she felt it cold and slackened, the white yard that was made into a rope tying him hard so he couldn't wobble. Realization and acceptance finally hits her fragile heart, a heart that was long shattered even before she was born, she fell into him and screamed loudly-a scream that would've awaken him if he was just into a hiatus. But this was reality; Talhah Muhammad is dead.

"Abba!!!" She screamed, which gave way to an ocean of melancholic tears. She kept shaking him and calling his name, looking at the crying figures in the room that were shaking their heads, they seemed to accept the fact that her Abba is dead, but she knew he wouldn't die-not now when she haven't told him her love for travelling, not now that she haven't told him the love she has for Arabian wears and high heels, not now that she haven't told him her obsession for babies, not now that she haven't told him about her immense love for a guy called Adyan, and not now when he haven't witness her marriage, it would never be now, when he haven't seen the babies of his baby Hayfah.

"Abba please!!!" She screamed and slumped onto him. "Abba you have to wake up! Abba we haven't spend enough time, I've never asked you about your wishes, your dreams and hubbies. Abba you can't do this to me, you wouldn't leave your princess in a threshold without taking me along with you. This isn't what we planned for!" She looked as if she were crazy, she've lost her mind along with her sanity. She was shaking him, uncountable agonizing tears falling on his clean white yard.

"Abba wake up and tell them, tell them they should stop their tears-tell them you're healthy and fine. Abba, you need to see how they're shaking their heads as if I've gone mad, you have to wake up and prove them wrong, prove them that your princess is fine and healthy, they're the ones that've gone mad." She shook him, pounded his chest, slightly slapped his face, slumped on his body, screamed and shouted-but all her efforts to wake her Abba up proved futile. He was gone forever. Gone for good.

"Hayfah, you need to accept this, he is dead and would never come back. Let them take him, let them pray for him and bury him so he could finally rest in peace," Amna spoke through tears and held her shoulders in an attempt to lift her up from his body. They've been trying to take him for the prayer and burial but Hayfah didn't let a single soul touch him.

She shrugged off Amna's hands from her and stood up in the most infuriated way ever. She've never been this angry in her life. Without hesitation, she slapped Amna hard across her both cheeks and looked at her with the eyes that emotes nothing but the pain that would never be vocalised until you've tasted what loosing a father is.

"Aren't you ashamed of telling me to let him go? To let him so they could pray for him and bury him and that's the end of it? That's the end of my life?! Letting him go means letting one of wall out of the four walls confining my life! Accepting the fact that he's dead means me accepting the fact that my soul is no longer with me, Amna!!!" She roared and pushed her out of her way, her bloodshot eyes that were shedding melancholic tears roamed around the room and they fell on Umma; whose eyes were glued on Abba's body and she wasn't even blinking, it seems that the death took a huge toll on her.

Hayfah stumbled towards her and stood infront of her, she tilted her face so she could face her. "Happy now that he's dead? Happy now that the man you've neglected is dead? The man you've deprived of his happiness has left the world, are you happy? I guess you would. Rukayya was long dead, she left you with the love of your life, and after you've known he was carrying a heart disease because of the guilt of what you made him did to the love of his life-you started neglecting him for the rest of his life! Yes! The rest of his life, for he just dead, hours ago or may be a day! Tell me please, just tell me you're happy, Umma-your long wish of seeing me living a miserable life is fulfilled, isn't it?" From thundering, roaring, shouted, and finally ended her words with a painful whispering voice and slumped on the ground. Umma didn't look at her, she fixed her gaze on Abba's corpse; which was taken out by a crying Taheer and some other men.

Hayfah followed her gaze and abruptly stood up and ran after them, she was practically a mad woman. She ran and held the wooden box they've put him into, looking at them with shedding eyes and shaking her head vehemently at them.

"He isn't dead as you all think, he was tired of the world and needed some rest, just give him more five minutes-I promise you he will wake up!" They were trying to pull the box out of her hold, but got startled as how it didn't even bulge, and they believed she was no more the Hayfah they knew.

"Hayfah, Kullu Nafsin Za'ikatil Maut-every soul shall taste death. Abba is dead, he will be buried so he could have the rest he've longed for. Just pray for him." Among the women that were standing by her side trying to take off her hands from the wooden box-uttered. She got blind, all she could see was Abba's body and all she could hear was her crying voice.

She looked around the men, and painfully; her eyes fell on Taheer that was looking at her with his crying eyes, she doesn't mind the emotions she saw on his face-and she thought he was the only one that could make them understand her Abba isn't dead.

"Hamma Taheer, I believed you love Abba more than Amna and Umma, tell these men he's alive, tell them it was just a block out, tell them to remove this white clothe from his body-it's blinding my vision. The sight of him in this box is rupturing my heart, I'm going to die." She was running from one end of the box to the other, peeling off the hands of the men that held the box-where her Abba is laying peacefully.

Taheer cleared his tears, but that gave way for more of it. He walked over her and peeled her hands off with aplomb, she roared and tried to reach for it but he was too strong for her. He motioned for the men to take along he would come and hugged her struggling figure firmly against his chest that was vibrating with tears.

"Listen, Hayfah, repeat after me: Inna Lillahi Wa'inna Ilaihir Raji'un." He hushed through her ears, his tears rolling down and soaking her hijab-it was Rukayya's hijab Amna had put on her when they came back from the hospital and she was still unconscious.

"Innalillahi Wa'inna Ilaihir Raji'un." He kept motononing, and her body started easing, she stopped struggling-repeating the words silently in her heart-and her heart resting and slowly accepting the fact that her Abba is dead. He. Is. Dead.

"INNALILLAHI WA'INNA ILAIHIR RAJI'UN!" She started with a low voice until it began resonating through the wall of the house. Taheer cleared her tears and handed her to a woman beside him and walked outside_he doesn't want to miss his father's prayer.

She kept repeating the words with tears in her eyes, but true to the words of the Almighty: through the remembrance of Allah, do hearts finds peace. She felt her heart settling with a feeling of Iman, the feeling of Taqwa and finally giving in to the fact that Allah has taken away her Abba. Kulu Nafsin Za'ikatil Maut.

From the louder voice, she reduced her tone and the sentences were coming out in whispers. She was taken to a corner at the far end of the courtyard by some women. She sat down and rested her head on a woman's shoulder before she jerked and stood up, she walked to Abba's room and took out his favourite Jallabiyya before she went to their room and started looking for Rukayya's Hijab in her trolley. She got tensed and started looking around, until her eyes caught the sight of the Hijab flaring from her body.

She brought Abba's jallabiyya close her chest and crushed it along with Mama's Hijab and broke into another series of tears that her alone could understand. "I've lost you all the same day. I wish death have taken me along with you today, Mama-I knew of your death today, and Abba left me too, what is life without even any of you?"