Chapter 60: Chapter 60

Sixty - Explaining the unexplainable.

I make my way to the living room and collapse onto the couch, letting my bag slide to the floor. Shutting my eyes, I immediately feel sleep wash over me and I sigh contently, cuddling further into the soft fabric.

It has been a long day.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll down till I find Jake's number. I've thought about him all day, worried about what Amil had done to him. A pang of hurt jabs into my chest as I realise I wasn't there for him. I wasn't there to care for him like he had done with me, I had left him when he needed me the most.

Hey, Ivory told me what happened, are you okay? -Em

I send the text and nibble on my bottom lip debating whether I should have put an 'x' at the end or not. I decided against it, not wanting to give him mixed signals but it feels so wrong not ending the text with the little sign of affection. Even though we aren't together anymore doesn't mean I don't care for him.

I love him, I will always love him.

He's my first love, my first everything.

I'll always have a soft spot for him in my heart and even though I'm hurting right now, I can't just abandon him. Moments pass and my phone buzzes, causing me to jump in surprise. I can feel my heartbeat quickening up as I read over his reply --

Jake - Why do you care?

Emily - Of course I care, I can't turn my feelings off for you Jake.

Jake - You left me Muffin.

Emily - For good reason.

Jake - I know. Let me explain, please?

I sigh, re-reading his message. The last thing I can do is give him the chance to explain. I owe him that much at least. Holding the phone to my ear, I wait patiently for him to answer --

"Hey Emily."

"Hey, explain Jake," I say quietly, getting comfortable on the couch.

"Do we have to do this over the phone?" He asks me, his voice low and deep. A small tingle travels down my spine and I close my eyes, trying to ignore it.

"Yes, you've got one chance to explain yourself Jake," I murmur in response. Seeing him face to face will only cause my emotions to fly off the handle and I can't do that, I have to be strong.

"I didn't know you were at the club."

I pause, my face contorting in utter confusion.

"That's your explanation?" I ask, bewildered at his attitude.

"Emily, you knew what I am before you got involved with me. You know I'm in a gang, you know I'm dangerous! Yet you still made me fall in love with you and then left me. I would never have hurt you, I was just doing a job."

My mouth hangs open from his words -

"I made you fall in love with me? I didn't make you do anything, you turd!" I yell, punching the couch cushion.

"You told me you didn't enjoy hurting people! You practically said yourself you wanted to leave the gang yet you're waltzing around with a flamin' gun, robbing clubs! I hate violence Jake! Actually scrap that. . . I despise it. I despise people who put fear in others, who abuse their power and belittle innocent people! You are just like Jones," I say painfully, clutching my forehead as I feel a strong headache brewing.

He's silent on the other end of the phone and I debate whether he's actually listening to me or not.

"Do you know how Jones ended up? Dead. That's the exact same way you'll end up Jake if you don't leave this cruel world you've got yourself wrapped into!" I pleade with him desperately, my eyebrows scrunched together in desperation.

"Please Jake, leave the gang. If not for me then do it for yourself. There has to be a way!" I pleade, a tear falling down my cheek. Several moments pass between us that are full of tense silence. I can hear him breathing heavily on the other end and when I close my eyes, it feels like he's lying beside me. Finally he speaks, his voice so quiet and innocent, I barely recognise it.

"I'll die if I leave Muffin."

I know he's crying silently on the other end. I inhale deeply, wanting to wrap him up in my arms and protect him from the life Amil has planned for him.

"You'll die if you stay," I respond softly before I heard a soft click on the other side.

He isn't listening anymore.

I drop the phone onto the floor and lie down, closing my eyes. My mind whirls with a thousand thoughts and I pray silently he'll listen to my words.

*****

Jake's POV -

A silent tear runs down my face as I take in her words.

"You'll die if you stay."

I know she's right but hearing someone I love say the words makes it a reality. I've missed her all day, an aching empty feeling settling permanently in my stomach. I miss her soft skin, her gentle voice, her lips on mine, having her presence around me.

My whole thoughts are consumed with Emily. Every minute I spend thinking about her, thinking about what I've lost. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me, my one true happiness.

Hearing her voice over the phone immediately makes me emotional, the tightening feeling in my chest increasing. I groan loudly as I shuffle in bed, my body flaring up with pain. I reach over and grab the tablets I've been prescribed and chuck a few to the back of my throat, drowning them with water.

Amil hasn't reached out to me for almost two days. This is the longest I've gone without hearing anything from the gang and it's worrying. An uneasy feeling settles in my stomach as I have a hunch he isn't finished with me just yet.

My jaw clenches tightly and I feel the anger inside me increase as I remember how he'd laid into me, punch after punch. If he'd only just release my arms, I would have shown him exactly what a decent punch feels like.

I want a life without constantly looking over my shoulder and having my loved ones fear for their life. I shouldn't have developed any feelings for anyone, never mind fall so deeply in love. But that was the thing about pure love, it creeped up on you when you least expected it and changed your whole outlook on life.

Before she walked away and left me, I imagined a future with her. I could picture little Emily's running around the house, forcing me to play dolls with them and braid their hair. I could picture marrying her, standing at the alter as I wait for her to walk down the aisle. I know she'd look so beautiful. No matter what she wore, she'd be beautiful.

A stab of pain hits my chest and I clench my jaw, blinking back the tears. She's gone Jake.

I know she was terrified of the lifestyle I live. She'd constantly worry about me when I would leave early hours in the morning and come home the next day with cuts and bruises. She'd tend to them silently, her eyes full of sadness as she cleaned the dried blood over my knuckles or face.

I didn't realise how much it genuinely effected her until Tobias told me she left. Did I even take a minute to think about how it was effecting her? Lying in bed for the past two days had given me enough time to think about everything, figure out a way to make things right.

Ivory told me she was staying with her grandfather who I had never met before. I wanted to drive up there and see if she was being treated properly but then I remembered, she isn't mine anymore to protect.

She isn't mine to touch.

She isn't mine to cuddle in bed.

She isn't mine to wrap my arms around and breathe her scent in deeply.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Tobias asks me, popping his head round the door. I immediately turn my face away from him, masking over the pain with an emotionless front.

"Im sore but I'll live," I respond, sitting up straighter in my bed. My tone wobbles a little and I clear my throat, pushing any emotion away. I clench my teeth tightly from the amount of effort it takes me and Tobias runs forward quickly to help. I hold my hand up, causing him to freeze on the spot.

"I can do it myself."

"Don't be an asshole Jake," he says causing my head to snap up and my eyes to burn through his. I sigh in defeat knowing he's right, these past few days he had been a lifesaver. . . quite literally.

"Sorry man," I mumble, my eyes drifting over my bed. He walks over and takes a seat on the bottom before speaking again.

"I've got a plan," he starts, causing me to look back up at him, intrigued. I frown before replying --

"Plan for what?"

"Amil," he states obviously and I frown deeper, my jaw clenching at the sound of his name.

"Don't get involved Tobias, I can fight my own battles." I warn quietly and Tobias raises his brow at me --

"You're asking me not to get involved... are you crazy? My brother crawled through the doors two days ago, practically dead. Do you think I'm going to let that slide?" He questions and I breathe deeply, shaking my head. If it was the other way around, I would do the exact same for him.

We share the same blood, family.

Family means everything to me.

"So, what's the plan?" I ask, feeling relieved to have his support. Finally it feels like our relationship is on the mend, Aunty Myra would be over the moon. Tobias is silent for a few moments, his eyes turning cold and emotionless. When he speaks, his voice is cold and dark, full of revenge.

"We kill him.”