Chapter 59: Chapter 59

Fifty Eight - Life must go on.

My head vibrates and I groan, my eyes twitching in the morning sun. I reach under my pillow and pull out my phone, glancing at the screen.

Unknown Caller ID.

I frown and answer it, sitting up straighter in my bed.

"Hello?" I yawn sleepily, rubbing my eyes. I must have had around two or three hours sleep max. My mind eventually collapsed early hours in the morning and I was able to finally close my eyes and sleep.

"Emily?"

I hear a low husky voice on the other end of the phone and my stomach does a quick somersault inside my body. My eyes widen and within a split second, I'm now wide awake.

"Jake," I breathe out, my voice shaky and quiet.

"Can we talk?" He responds and I feel my stomach tighten in several different knots, twisting in different direction. I shake my head, my teeth clenched tightly together as I struggle to stay composed.

Don't cry Emily, don't cry.

"I don't know," I whisper down the phone, closing my eyes.

"Please? Let me explain, it's not what it looked like," he pleads, the desperation and exhaustion lining his voice.

"It's exactly what it looked like. You had a gun Jake, you threatened to shoot everyone, including me!" I responded angrily, my hands shaking.

"After everything that happened with Jones, do you know how terrified I was? I found out my boyfriend is the leader of some silly little gang. You roam around with guns, thriving off other people's fear, it's sick." I say angrily, my teeth clenched together.

I pause for a moment, my chest rising and falling quickly as I catch my breath. He's quiet on the other end, his breathing shallow. He eventually chuckles quietly at me down the line, his words icy.

"You think I'm the leader of just a silly little gang?" He asks rhetorically, humour lining his voice. I hold the phone away from me in shock, my eyes widening at his tone.

"Yes," I respond timidly, my voice quiet.

"Our silly little gang own the whole of this town! We don't just scare people, we give them reason to. We kill people, we take away lives. We tear families apart, it's what we do Emily!" He snaps down the line. Chills immediately shoot down my neck and I shudder, unable to believe his heartless words.

"Do you also put people in coma's?" I ask rhetorically before continuing —

"Do you tear loved ones apart? Like Jones did to us? When I was in a coma, how did it feel for you Jake? Knowing that Jones had shot me, put me in a coma, your loved one. You do the exact some to other people!"

My breathing quickened up and I inhale deeply, closing my eyes and forcing myself to focus. He remains quiet on the other end, my words obviously causing him to rethink his whole argument against me.

"Everything Jones did to me, you do too. Jones never killed me but your gang kill people and don't think twice about it. You've taken away mothers, fathers, uncles and aunties, children, friends and family! How can you live with yourself? Knowing you're part of something so cruel, so evil."

I finally finish and let out a quiet sob, my hand clutching my chest. He remains un-phased on the other end of the phone, taking a moment before he responds. His words only caused me to suck in a harsh breath, feeling like he was ripping me apart, piece by piece. His voice is cold, flat and dangerous —

"I am evil, it's who I am."

And with that, he hangs up on me.

*****

I grimace at the sight of me in the mirror. Dark deep bags circled underneath my eyes and my skin is blotchy and red with a pale undertone. I look unhealthily skinny due to my weight dropping vastly in the past few weeks. When I stretch, my ribs stick out sorely and I clench my teeth tightly, a glossy sheen covering my eyes. I look a mess.

The bandage still covers my gun wound and I don't dare remove it to unveil the ugly scar that lies beneath. I hear a knock on my door and I grab my bath robe, pulling it around me.

"Come in," I say quietly, taking a seat on my bed. The door opens and Pops glances around the door, giving me a small smile.

"Sleep well princess?" He asks me and I nod tightly, feeling terrible for lying to him.

"Good. Emily, you need to attend school today," he says and I groan, throwing a hand over my eyes. I'd completely forgotten about college. The thought of education right now is not appealing in any way, shape or form.

"Can I have the day off please?" I ask him, feeling my stomach tighten further knowing I have a chance of running into Jake. Right now, I want to avoid everyone, curl up in bed and watch Disney movies with a jar of Nutella.

"No Elly, you need to go to school," he sighs, opening the door a little wider. I nod grimly, knowing he's right. I can't hide away forever, no matter how heartbroken I feel right now. I give him a small smile —

"I'll be ready in twenty minutes."

"Good girl," he says brightly, his head disappearing before he closes the door over softly. I throw myself back onto the bed, my body instantly sinking into the warm covers. I nibble on my bottom lip as I try to figure out a way I can avoid Jake. I don't have any lessons with him today so that's a plus however we always spend lunchtimes together with Ivory, Trish and a few other friends.

I groan once again as I think of Ivory. I hope Jake and I breaking up doesn't mean our friendship will go in the same direction. I view her as a sister and really don't want to lose her too.

I sigh heavily, pulling myself up off the bed an wince a little as a sharp pain jolts through my stomach. Take it easy. The doctors exact words.

Ha. The irony. . .

So much for taking it easy.

My thoughts turn back to Jake as I search for an outfit through my little belongings. I can't believe how icy his tone changed towards me. . . It reminded me of the first time I'd seen him.

Dangerous, piercing blue eyes and a glare to scare off even the toughest of people. I shudder before remembering how sweet he can be. Underneath his bad boy facade is a genuinely lovely, caring person and that's the boy I'd fallen so deeply in love with. Not the dangerous scary bad boy that had the town shake in fear whenever he was in their presence.

His words keep ringing through my head but I refuse to believe them. . . Maybe because I didn't want to believe them.

I am evil. It's who I am.

*****

I've opted for a black hoodie that hung low ending just above my knees. Underneath I wear denim jeans with some black converse. My hair is pulled into a high ponytail and I wear little makeup, only using it to attempt to cover up my dark under eyes.

I sigh deeply as I look in the mirror of the college bathrooms. I still resemble a sleep deprived zombie and my eyes are as puffed up as ever.

I grab my bag off the floor and headed for my first lesson as the bell rings, signalling the start of the day. My feet drag against the floor and I feel exhausted, physically and mentally. My mind is hazy and I keep my head down, out of sight.

I bump into someone and apologise quietly, shrinking myself against the walls.

"Emily!"

I turn and my gaze meets Ivory's. She's waving through the crowd and I give her a small smile, waiting for her to catch up.

"Hey!" She says, approaching me. She glances at my outfit before her eyes reach my face, looking sympathetic.

"How are you doing?" She asks me, pulling me into a bear hug. I feel myself instantly relax, my shoulders slumping against her. I murmur a response into her hair and hold her tightly, feeling grateful to have such an amazing friend. She isn't treating me any different now that Jake and I aren't together. I pull back and smile tightly at her —

"How is he?" I ask quietly and she looks at me, chewing on her bottom lip.

"You don't know, do you?" She asks nervously and I frown at her. My heart begins to pick up in speed, beating against my chest.

"Don't know what?" I ask. She pauses for a few moments before pulling me closer, out of ear shot.

"Jake's boss beat him up Emily, he was barely alive when me and Tobias found him. Oh my god, it was horrible."

My mind blurs and I hold onto the wall for support as I feel my knees weaken.

"Why did Amil beat him?" I ask quickly, my heart rate increasing.

"I don't know, Tobias wouldn't tell me."

"But he rang me this morning, he sounded fine. . . A little angry but not in pain."

"It's Jake, he doesn't show when he's in pain. He's all patched up now but he's resting at home. He's not the same without you Em, he's just . . . Sad." Ivory explains, her voice softening. I feel my heart clench tightly and I take a step back, fiddling with my hands.

"I don't know what to do," I murmur, closing my eyes. The corridors are almost empty now and I sink to the floor, pulling my knees towards my chest. I feel Ivory's hand squeeze my shoulder before she crouches next to me —

"It's okay to need some space," she reassures me and I nod in a daze, my mind unable to think straight.

"Is he going to be okay?" I ask, my throat tightening as I think of him in pain. Ivory nods, helping me up off the floor.

"I think so, he's as tough as old boots. Tobias and I miss you, the house isn't the same. It's like a piece of Jake is missing too," she adds sadly and I give her a small smile knowing exactly how she feels. I miss them too, both of them.

"I miss you too but I can't do it anymore Ivory, I just can't."