Chapter 39: Chapter 39
"Keep it," I whisper, pushing the photo towards Jake. He looks at me, a slight frown on his face.
"Are you sure?" He asks uneasily, his eyes flickering to the photo and back up at me. I nod slowly, giving him a small exhausted smile.
"You need it more than I do."
Jake silences at my words and I know he's mentally battling with himself right now. He releases a small frustrated sigh before giving me a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"Thanks Muffin," he says quietly before slipping the picture underneath the desk and under his shirt. He briefly glances around, wary of the guards in the room.
"It's just a scan photo, not a bag of cocaine," I chuckle. Even when I laugh, my mind and body remains emotionless . . . blank. How is it possible to feel so empty, so quickly? I have Jake right in front of me yet the distance between us is unmeasurable.
"Time!" One of the guard yells. Groans of frustration can be heard coming from the other inmates and I look into Jake's eyes, tears filling my own. I promised myself I wouldn't cry a single tear until I'm safely away from this place, out of Jake's view.
"I don't want to have to do this," Jake mutters, running a hand over his face. My heart sinks and I know in less than five minutes, he'll be ripped away from me again. I stand up uneasily, gripping onto the edge of the table for support. I fear if I don't, my legs would give in underneath me.
Jake roses too, scraping back his chair. The sparkle in his eyes disappears and his face is unreadable, blank. He holds out his arms for me and I immediately fall into him, letting his warmth wrap around me one last time. The next time I'll be in his arms like this will be uncertain.
"Look after yourself and the baby." Jake whispers in my ear, his voice hoarse. I nod grimly, pulling back to look at him.
"You too," I whisper, tears brimming my eyes. I briefly close them, inhaling his scent. It's the first time his presence doesn't calm me and instead terrifies me. I know he's about to be taken away and I may never see him be free from this place.
"I love you," he mumbles, leaning down to place a small kiss on my neck. His lips hover over the area he'd kissed and I suck in a breath, struggling to stay strong.
"I love you Jake, so much." I tell him. Jake searches my eyes and nod slowly, his eyebrows creased together in pain. A guard clears his throat by us impatiently and Jake shoots him a stern glare from the corner of his eye before looking back at me.
"Go," he whispers, taking a step back. The warmth of his body is ripped away from me in a second and all I want to do is wrap my arms around his neck and never let go.
"Go Emily." Jake says firmly however his voice cracks with emotion. He turns his back to me and walk towards the line of inmates, his head hung low. I spin around, my hand flying up to my mouth as I attempt to console myself I head in the opposite direction, further and further away from Jake.
The further I go, the more my heart shatters in tiny pieces.
*****
I toss and turn for the millionth time in bed, groaning in frustration from the lack of sleep. My hand reaches over for my phone and I check the screen, not knowing what I'm looking for exactly. The house has been eerily quiet all week, almost as if we're mourning the absence of Ivory, Jake and Tobias. I sigh heavily, noticing the sun peeking through the curtains signalling early morning.
"May as well get out of bed," I mutter to myself, knowing I won't be sleeping. Once I'm dressed, I slip on my trainers and grab my headphones. It's seven AM and I need to kill two hours before college.
I inhale a sharp intake of breath, breathing in the crisp morning air. Underneath my feet, the leaves crunch and the cold in the air feels amazing against my skin. I can't remember the last time I went for a walk in the early morning to clear my head. . .
I turn up a pathway, one that I recognised from a year ago. It's the same pathway I'd met Jones for the very first time. My heart begins thumping against my chest and I swallow the lump in my throat, willing myself to keep going. I turn the music up as loud as it can go, letting it drown me into a wave of beats and lyrics.
The thought of Jones only causes me to walk faster, the wind whipping against my cheeks. It feels good to move my body and clear my mind. Trees and flowers surround me and I take the chance to appreciate the calm and peace nature has to offer me. Jake, Tobias & Ivory rattle around my thoughts, reminding me of the storm I'm currently caught up in. I slow right down to a leisurely walk, closing my eyes for a brief second. . .
I need more time to come up with a plan.
I can't sit around doing nothing whilst Jake is locked up behind bars. In a few months, I'll be having this baby and I'd love for Jake to be there, as he should.
"I can do this," I mumble to myself, picking up the pace once again. I feel my heartbeat thumping faster, reminding me that I'm alive despite how dead I feel inside.
"I can do this," I repeat more firmly, knowing I have to be strong for Jake, myself and our baby.
*****
"Hey Trish," I smile, waving at her. She immediately walks over to me, pulling me into a tight bear hug.
"How are you?" She whispers, her hand rubbing my back soothingly. I release sigh and pull back, looking into her large eyes.
"I'm holding up," I mumble, adjusting my bag on my shoulders. She gives me a sad smile, her eyes full of pain, mirroring mine.
"How's the baby?" She whispers in a hushed tone, leaning closer to avoid the students around us from over hearing.
"Good, I went to visit Jake and he's got the scan picture." I explain, my voice choking up at the mention of Jake. Trish nods sadly before linking her arm in mine, pulling me through the entrance.
"Everyone has been talking about Jake and Tobias, literally everyone." Trish says, shaking her head. I roll my eyes, knowing I shouldn't have expected anything less. News surrounding the two of them spreads like wild fire throughout the entire town.
"I'm surprised it hasn't been broadcast all over the news." I mumble unhappily, stopping in my tracks as I notice a poster on the wall. I narrow my eyes and walk towards it. On the front is a picture of Ivory, clutching a glass with her arm slung around one of her friend's shoulders. Her eyes are sparkling and her smile is wide, she's the complete definition of happiness. I suck in a breath, my eyes filling with sadness as I read the poster.