Chapter 38: Chapter 38

Raymond opened his eyes to find Hazel and Edward staring at him from such a close distance that surprise him. His sleepiness immediately disappeared when he saw the two people he really wanted to avoid now seemed relieved to see him awake.

'How was your feeling? Still uncomfortable?'

'Uncomfortable? What are you talking about? I'm fine,' Raymond was confused about Hazel's question, which should have been his question. Compared to him, Hazel's condition was much worse.

Just a second. He had no recollection of falling asleep in bed. As he remembered, he just walked into the room and was about to go to the chair in front of the bed so Hazel could still use the bed to rest. Then why was he on the bed instead, while Hazel and Edward sat beside him?

'You said what? You're fine?' Hazel snorted in annoyance, moving her face away from Raymond and rolling her eyes. 'We must be stupid if we believe your word. You fainted.'

'Come on, let him be,' Edward patted Hazel lightly on the shoulder, then smiled softly at Raymond. 'Shall I call a doctor for you?'

'No, there's no need,' Raymond forced his body to get out of bed, which the two of them immediately prevented.

'Don't try to wake up. Don't you realize that your body is shaking so badly?' Hazel said.

Raymond let go of those hands that prevented him from moving from his place, throwing a sharp glare. 'It's not a big deal. I am fine.'

'But—'

'I said, I'm fine!' Raymond threw Hazel's hand back on his wrist, annoyed that Hazel let him sleep on the bed. No, he was not mad at Hazel. He was angry with himself for making Hazel sacrifice the bed for him. Even though that woman needs it much more. Seeing Hazel, who was unmoved, made him realize that it seemed like he had gone a little too far. He massaged his temples which were throbbing as he forced himself to get up without giving his body time to adapt.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—'

'Hazel is right. I guess you do need some rest,' Edward patted Hazel on the shoulder, asking her to stay away from Raymond while the man took over to talk to him. 'I'm going to ask Thyme if there are any more spare rooms or not. Wait a minute, okay?'

He nodded, letting the man leave to find Thyme while he remained silent, staring at his hands. His memories of Arnold were spinning again, this time to the point of even retreating before the man's death. His laughing voice, his tone of complaining as Raymond turned down his offer to read what would have been the last novel recommended by Arnold. Everything felt real again as if it had only been a few minutes since he had heard it. Even the room he was currently in was stacked in Arnold's apartment, starting to fuse, which made him confused.

'Raymond? Raymond? Are you all right?'

Hazel's voice sounded deep in his ear, echoed, then disappeared. He did not know where he was anymore. It felt like everything was getting vague. Then it was quiet, leaving him alone in the room.

For some time, that was all he could feel. The silence that he hated most, followed by Arnold's figure lying on the floor, filled with pooling blood. Just like that time. He cursed his failure. His memory always stopped there, spinning back as he touched Arnold's blood. All his senses clearly remembered the sensation. Now, his strength was drained so that he could no longer face his memories, which were turning faster and faster.

'Raymond? Can you hear me?'

He could hear Edward's voice calling out to him, followed by the cracking of Arnold's apartment, changing into the living room where he had been. The man looked relieved as he turned his head in response to Edward's call.

'Yes.'

'Can you move? Thyme has asked the butler to prepare a new room.'

'I can,' he said, trying to get out of bed. But his knees, which still felt weak, almost made him fall over if Hazel and Edward did not hold him back.

'Only this time I let you touch Raymond,' said Hazel.

'That should be my job now,' Edward whistled softly, as he lifted Raymond's body lightly as if nothing, then carried him.

He lowered his head, hiding his now flushed face, pretending to frown. 'Is it need to carry me in this bridal style?'

'Why not? When you passed out last time, I also carried you like this,' said Edward, relaxed. The man seemed to not realized how embarrassed he was now that he had just learned that this was not the first time Edward had done it. 'Let's go to your room first. Hazel, you take a rest. We'll continue our conversation later.'

'Yes, I got it. Go, before I change my mind,' Hazel rolled her eyes, then closed the door to her bedroom after they left.

'What do you want to talk about with Hazel?' Raymond asked as they walked down the hallway away from Hazel's room.

'Why? Are you jealous?'

'No,' he said, putting his arm around Edward's neck. 'I'm just curious.'

'Don't be like this,' Edward turned his face the other way, not daring to look at him, making him a little confused. 'If you like this, I can't hold myself back?'

'Huh? What am I doing?'

Edward beckoned through his eyes to the two arms still wrapped around the man's neck. 'You're sick. I can't take the opportunity to attack you at a time like this.'

He nodded, finally understood what Edward was trying to say, then let go of his embrace from Edward. 'I don't mind.'

'I refused. Rest assured, I'm a very patient waiting,' Edward smiled at him then thanked the servants who just came out after clearing up his new room.

The man carefully put him onto the bed, helped him remove the jacket he had been wearing, then draped it over his left arm. 'Be a good boy and go to sleep.'

Raymond took a deep breath, realizing that Edward was treating him like a child. 'You, Hazel, you're doing the same.'

'Because we're both worried about you,' said Edward, followed by a kiss that landed lightning onto Raymond's lips.

'But I'm not sick.'

'No. You are sick. Don't deny it,' Edward's expression turned serious, staring at him so hard that he could see his own reflection in his green eyes. That was true. His face looked very pale now. 'Your PTSD attack was not a mild symptom. Did you go to a psychiatrist while you were in Morozov?'

His eyes widened, and he moved away reflexively from Edward. 'How do you know?!'

Edward clicked his tongue. 'I used to have an acquaintance who had symptoms similar to yours, so I knew it right away. Answer my question earlier, Raymond. Have you done that?'

'Yeah. But it stopped halfway because I came to Cirillo in a hurry.'

Edward lowered his head, then rubbed Raymond's head. 'Look. This isn't something that can just disappear like a headache. If you keep doing this, sooner or later, you will die. Understand?'

'I know,' Raymond turned his gaze away. 'I'll do it later. After everything is finished.'

'I'll make sure you do,' Edward stepped away from him. 'I want to take a bath first.'

He nodded, letting the man get away from him, before finally going into the bathroom after putting the jacket into the wardrobe, which was located the same as in his previous room.

Several times he had tried to close his eyes, but it failed. He could not sleep. Instead, his eyes had been glancing toward the bathroom. He did not know how many minutes passed, and he did not see Edward coming out of the bathroom. Even though he was curious, he wanted to see Edward coming out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. Or bath kimono with a kimono slit, showing part of Edward's upper body.

Wait. What was he thinking just now?

He shook his head quickly, forcing himself to sleep when he heard the sound of the door opening, followed by Edward humming an unfamiliar song. Hurriedly he turned his body in another direction while calming his racing heart.

'Oh, already sleep?'

He heard Edward's footsteps walking toward the cupboard. Secretly, he changed his position, then looked at Edward, who took off his bath kimono, exposing his perfectly formed muscles that made him swallow hard. He was enjoying the scenery before him so much that he forgot that he should have pretended to sleep. The man, oblivious to his gaze, continued to hum in his soft voice while putting his clothes back on. Hearing Edward's voice provoked his drowsiness to come. Slowly, he was feeling sleepy for real.

'Sleep tight,' whispered the man near his ear, having finished wearing his clothes, then kissed him on the forehead before exiting the room.

***