Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Well, nobody carried me in the night. I woke up strong, stronger than ever but I had been feeding on snacks. I missed Nellie. We always ate together, I found it difficult to cook and eat alone in her absence. I was working towards changing that but so far, no progress.

"Someone can love you and still not know how to love you right," Michelle was saying that morning.

"Gifts, money matter a lot in a relationship. That doesn't mean dating is just for the rich. Appreciation doesn't cost much.  Everyone appreciates an honest gift that is not show off."

She looked around at the audience faces and maybe was disappointed to see me popping my capri sonne then but she continued.

"Some people don't buy gifts for their partners because they don't want the gift they brought to shame them. They wait till they have enough but that doesn't happen. " She paused and shrugged.

" News flash, it is between the both of you. If you buy a gift, your partner does not appreciate just because it's cheap then it's not your fault. The fault lies in your partner and you should really run from such people."

She looked at our faces. I was done with my drink but did not bring out another. It no more gave me the feeling it used to give me.

"The manner in which you present a gift to someone you love also matters. What about surprises, what about random gifts, not because it's Valentine, not because it's birthday, not because it's new year or Christmas but because you want to say, I appreciate you everyday. Thank you for being in my life."

Talking about birthdays, coming Saturday was Nellie's birthday. I already bought a cartoon movie and some toys I will give to her just to remind her I was older than her. The large Pooh Bear I ordered had not arrived. I knew she would find the gifts hilarious but that was the idea.

"Money can never stand in for a gift. I mean cash. It is never the same. "

"Louder for the short brothers at the back !" someone shouted. Everyone laughed.

My father believed money was everything. 'I'm going to be sending some money monthly, ' he said. After he left us, he sent money to us till we heard he had remarried and my mom, heartbroken and scorned, made arrangements for us to move from the East to the North.

I had to buy a gift for my mom and say, "I appreciate you everyday. Thank you for being in my life."

"because of the prayer session we are having today in the largest hall, today is going to be brief," I heard Michelle say.

"So you all are invited. Hope to see you all."

When she was done with the announcement she walked over to me. She was wearing a sky blue shirt tucked into high waisted bottom pants.

"Kass, how are you?"

"I'm wonderful. How are you?"

"Definitely better than you."

I laughed while she stood smiling at me. "You are coming right? It's a brief one."

"No uhh_ I have to umm_Yeah go to market. My mom is coming over." I was looking at her, trying to read her expression. She just wore an amused face.

"Really, Kass?"

I nodded then she said, "That's alright."

She walked to where her handbag was, lifting it to her shoulder, she left the class. Maybe she was angry but how was I to know? She was not threatening me like Nellie or my mom. She seemed okay.

I walked to Nellie's class. I could not find her but Snake's name. Yeah, Linda, forgive me.

"Kass, are you coming? " she asked once she noticed me.

"Where's Nellie? " I asked, ignoring wherever she wanted me to be coming to.

" She left, maybe she has gone home or she's in the prayer hall."

"Alright thank you."

I knew Nellie would not have left without seeing me. I walked outside still and saw her standing outside with Michelle and a young man close to a grey ford.

"I have met your friend, " Michelle said as I walked closer.

Oh, I see...

I waved in greeting to the young man then Nellie hugged me.

"How are you doing? " she asked.

"I'm hungry. When are you coming back? "

She laughed with a hand over her mouth. "I'm back already."

Michelle excused herself and Nellie also quickly excused herself and walked  to the wall, where she sat on a wooden bench there. I was left with the young man.

That was some kind of comedy and I could not find the humour .

"I'll umm have to join my friend," I said  looking at Nellie who was bent into her phone.

"I want to talk to you. I won't take your time, " the young man said.

"This is a lot of time already," I replied, impatiently.

"I'm sorry. Do you want to sit in the car, let's just talk?"

" Ah, ah. No, we'll stand and you talk."

" I met you yesterday when we gave you a ride home. I was the driver," he said.

"Oh, " was all I said.

"Yeah, we didn't get introduced because I was busy with the steering. I'm Tony," he said, bringing out a hand.

"Kass," I replied, folding my arms together so he would know I was not taking his hanging hand.

"It's a wonderful one," he said, folding his outstretched hand then putting it in his pocket.

I nodded. 'Unlike yours that is boring'. What was 'Tony'? Tony sounded like the name of the man in front of the Cabin biscuit packet.

I could have missed something he was saying. I was looking at him, looking through him, not concentrating at all.

"I don't know if you mind I call you so we meet when you are less busy," he said

"I'm sorry. I am always busy," I said, signifying the end of the discussion by stepping back.

"I didn't say you are not. I'm not going to waste your time."

What useless confidence and arrogance was that sef? How did he know what would waste my time?

" You already wasted my time but said nothing," I said, "besides, I'm in a serious relationship with someone." I waited for his reaction.

He narrowed his eyes then tilted his head to look at me and almost immediately he composed himself.

"Relationship or no relationship. I want to just talk, talk, just that," he said, raising his hands in surrender.

"I'm not straight, " I said to drive my point home. Seeing the question in his eyes, I continued.

I used my hands to demonstrate a nonlinear line. "I'm curved."

"What are you talking about? " he still asked, laughing.

"She's my baby. We're in a relationship," I said, pointing at Nellie who was now looking at us with a raised eyebrow.

"She?" he didn't seem shocked. "She's dating my nigga. She's been with him for some days now."

I was looking at Nellie, she looked at me and shrugged. When she looked up again and saw me still looking at her, she raised an eyebrow then stood and started walking towards us.

"Now that I have cancelled out your lie, Will you go out with me?

"What was her lie? " Nellie asked  as she was already standing beside us.

I kept looking at her, while Tony narrated what I said to her, laughing. What was funny, who was laughing with him?

I faced Nellie squarely. "Nellie, Are you in a relationship? "

She was silent.

The silence ripped a part of me. I waited. She still said nothing.

"I'm sorry if I got the memo wrong but I thought we were best friends and you should let me know stuff like that."

She didn't respond but turned to Tony. "Please give us some minutes."

Tony nodded and left to sit where Nellie was formerly sitting.

"What did he tell you? "she asked.

"I asked you a question," I almost yelled. It was strange; I was hardly expressive. "Are you in a relationship?"

"Yes."

I threw my head back in a humourless laugh.

"Kassy, I wanted to tell you."

"Correct me if I'm wrong and forgive me for not getting the memo right but I thought we were best friends. My mum calls you my sister even."

"Kassy_ "

"You were keeping it from me and lying to me for the past few days but for what ? Have I ever claimed to be anti dating?"

"You are too clingy! "

I lost all the words in my mouth. I heard a lot of things about myself but that one topped the list.

"You are a baby; you do not know how to take care of yourself. You do not even know how to stay alone. It's like you are uncomfortable in your own solitude. You don't want to mix up and it's just me you cling to and people are beginning to think we are a pair."

She paused. I waited because the water was chilled. She poured it from my head but it was yet to reach my toes so I waited.

"Not that I'm ashamed of you but the last boyfriend I had, broke up with me because of you. You were always following me to go see him and he was not comfortable with that. I gave up that relationship to keep our friendship. I don't really_"

"Nellie, stop. It's okay." The chilled water had reached my toes and pooled around me.

The word she didn't use was, 'suffocating ' but that was the word for the string of sentences she spat on me. If I did not step away, the water was going to pull me in and let me sink.

I heard her call me once but I walked on, without turning back. I prayed to God desperately to get a bike home unless I would be seen walking like a half dead person, or someone who had lost a trophy because the water around me made my legs very heavy.

A bike drove towards me and I flagged it down and jumped on it.