Chapter 4: Chapter 4

After dressing up, I waited for Nellie to bang on my door but she did not. I sent her a text that I had left in case she later decided to come over.

Just outside my gate, I got a bike to the  Community school that was the venue for the seminar.

"Yesterday, we talked about books being the building and also the destroying factor in a relationship."

She looked around for a few nods of affirmation then she continued.

"Do you know about pride, the king called pride? "

No one replied but we were all listening. Yes, I was listening. I did not pack my capri sonne packs because I forgot but I did not miss it_yet. I did not crave to have it run down my throat slowly while shutting my eyes as I sucked in the last from it.

"...so she waits for days for him to call and he also waits. The girl says,'if he loves me then he will Call' and the boy says, 'if I am the only one, she will call.'

"But you know the truth, if you love someone you will want to know how they are doing. You would not wait. It's not a competition of ego. It's a relationship. You make it work."

She was right there. I always reached out, Clingingly even.

"You know why love turns to hatred? It's pride. You wait for an apology you do not get, you are too proud to keep complaining. You wait for a change that does not come, you are too proud to continue being taken for granted . There's nothing like one's ego being stepped on."

Ego?  No. I loved him without pride. We all did. We sat late at night giving him excuses whenever he returned home late. We did not judge him. We simply accepted him and overlooked his mistakes.

"Throw more light! " someone shouted.

"This is not an abstract class like your Chemistry. You can relate to this. Alright have you ever been ignored before, like you call, text yet no reply, how did it feel? "

The class suddenly became noisy. Everyone had experienced it. They all had things to say.

"I'll answer that. It must have felt like an insult. Like you deserved more. I'll not really give you the exact words for your feelings then but it must have pained your spirit, soul, body and your ego lay on the gravel."

Hurt was the first feeling, then anger,  hatred slowly crept in, staining the blood we shared with black. Pride did come. It made us unable to beg him for school fees or anything. It was pride that was the ultimate feeling. Pride made feelings towards him a taboo.

I heard a car park outside and I looked out through the broken louvres. I watched wide eyed as Maka came down from the car in a corporate navy blue gown. The glass was tinted and I could not make who the driver was. She hurried into the building with her head bowed in her bag and her hands searching for something in her bag.

I immediately knew the stupid girl misplaced her pen.

"Relationships, friendships, marriage have collapsed due to pride and right now mosses grow on them."

I could remember a time I once loved my father - the man I now hate the most. Hate is such a strong word, let me rephrase that: I hate my father. I worshipped him in the past, I did everything right so he would approve and notice me but I was no boy so I was useless and my mother was too.

"The sweetest time in a relationship is the beginning for a lot of people. The calls and even the excitement to pick up but after a while the calls stop coming like it used to, missed calls and excuses are now the order of the day and both partners are now workaholic busy."

Hearing the sound of someone sniffing, I turned to meet the girl  behind me, red eyed.

"Something flew into my eye," she said, immediately dabbing her eyes.

"It could also be the onions I'm peeling, " I replied and she smiled through her tears, waving me away.

It was missed calls, unreturned calls. I'm sure he never apologized to my mom. He never apologized to me either for disappointing me,for hurting me, for not being a father when work suddenly became very hectic and interesting. Late nights.

I could not relate what was being said to myself because relationships are a no no no for me but I had felt those emotions, I saw my mom go through those emotions. She is the strongest woman I know.

"It's not talked about because nobody wants to seem 'so' emotional," the speaker continued, stressing 'so' and wriggling her fingers in the air.

The class ended. They asked a lot of questions which the speaker answered patiently. I think most people in that classroom needed therapy because from their questions, you could easily see that they had been bruised and the wound was yet to heal.

I watched the speaker put books into her bag when she was done then she sat on the desk. Others rushed out of the classroom like they were late for an appointment.

I watched her walk to me, hanging her bag over her shoulder. She was wearing a peach jumpsuit that hugged her body, she was slim, flat tummy, little curve at the hips but there was a lot at the back.

"I'm Michelle," she said, extending a hand.

"I'm Kass. Kasiemobi," I replied, taking her hand .

"Nobody really likes this seat," she said, settling on my desk. She seemed to be forgetting she was the one that introduced me to the seat.

I did not know whether to reply or not so I just nodded with a smile.

"Do you enjoy the class?  The other day you were sipping capri sonne and you always look uninterested."

I should have told her then that I did not look uninterested; I was uninterested. I would rather be watching movies, drawing or doing something else.

I nodded again. I was not yet familiar with socializing.

"I'm actually waiting for my husband to come pick me up," she said.

"Oh," I let out taken by surprise, "You are married? "

Yeah. That's what She just said .

"Yes,  I am," she said, full of smiles.

I nodded without stating that she looked very young. The married women I usually met had chubby cheeks and potbelly even before pregnancy.

"Are you in a relationship? "

Uh.Uh. It was like I gave her an opening into my personal life. I shook my head negatively.

"what happened," she asked, " ever been?"

"No," I replied

"You look eighteen, " she said. I knew that tact. My mother used it often but I still gave in.

"I'm twenty."

It was her turn to "oh"

I laughed.

"You always seem less excited and unmoved unlike the rest who are so eager to know more," she said. She was repeating herself.

I shrugged. "They need it, I don't."

She smiled at me and looked out. "He's here." she said, hopping down.

"See you tomorrow," I said

"Yeah. Alright, "

I watched her leave then I walked out to the corridor.

"Nellie!" I screamed, seeing her outside my door.

"What! I thought you said the class was for those in a relationship and you are staying back after everyone has left to ask questions. "

"Please, she was just befriending me," I said tiredly.

It sounded funny to her. She laughed a bit then said, "Kass, you are really a stupid person."

"I know. So who dropped you off in the morning ?"

"Oh, I got a lift." She replied quickly.

Coming outside, a red Toyota Camry parked in front of us.

"Who are these ones? " Maka muttered.

The back window came down then the front window. There were two men in the front while Michelle was at the back.

"Which way are you guys going? "

Nelly was quick to say the name of my lodge then she said she was traveling home. Again.

"Let's drop you then," The man at the passenger seat said.

"Thank you Sir," I replied before going round to enter the car.

The person in the driver's seat seemed younger than the other man. I could not make his face properly but from what I could see in the rear mirror, I drew my conclusions.

" Shug, this is Kassy, one of the students coming for the seminar," Michelle said, patting the older man. Don't mind I say, older, he actually looked young, he looked like the young married guy that always dropped my neighbor some mornings.

He turned to face me. "She's wonderful right?" he asked, pointing at his wife. I nodded in reply and he gently squeezed her hands and faced the road.

Okayyy, I thought they were about to do a lovey dovey thing at that point. I caught the driver looking at me through the rear mirror. I hugged my bag and allowed myself to listen to Dbanj's 'fall in love' that was playing in the car.

They dropped me at my gate and I got down after saying a personal 'thank you ' to the three in the car. I waited for them to leave before I walked in; I did not want anyone coming to carry me in the night.