Chapter 35: Chapter 35

“Ma,“ she immediately rushed to her mother to give her a hug. Tatiana badly needed someone she could talk to, and the only person she could tell about her worries is her mother.

Victoria was in her office. Still in her white coat and stethoscope hanging on her neck. “What's wrong, dear? Hey, why are you crying?”

“It's just so tought these days, ma. I'm so confused, and tired.” she sobbed.

Her mother led her on one of the couches. They both sat down.

“You're getting married in a month, Tati. What's wrong? Why are you sad?”

She bit her lower lip. “I'm not sure with anything, mom. I'm not sure if I really want to marry Jerome. I'm happy with him, ma. I really am. He's the perfect guy.”

“But?” her mother waited.

“But something's wrong, mom. And it's not him. It's me. I feel like I'm only bringing myself into a bad decision if I marry him.”

“But do you love him?” Victoria asked.

“I do, mom. I swear, I do.” Tatiana nodded. “it's just when J-Julian's father came back, things started to get so confusing. For me. I can't think straight. I'm constantly thinking about him and how I'll break his heart if I marry Jerome.” she wonders how Jacob is right now. She hasn't seen him since the day she walked out his office. All her contract has been terminated from Strike. There was one time Andrew called to apologize for it but really, there was no need for that.

She deserves it.

“So you love him?“

She bitterly smiled and nodded.

“Well, aren't you gonna fight for that, Tati?”

She raked a hand on her hair. “I don't know, ma. I'm so confused right now. What if I fight for him, what if I go back to him, us... and he hurts us. What if he leaves again? I don't think I could ever endure being abandoned by the same guy twice, ma.”

“What does your heart say, come on, Tati, tell me, do you believe he's gonna leave again?”

Her voice croaked. “No.”

She knows this time, Jacob would stay. It's just that she was so traumatized by the way he left that it scarred her for life. Because what if, right?

She so scared to make her world turn around him because what if he leaves her again?

“Then... fight for what you feel, Hija. It may not always be right atleast you won't have regrets. No what ifs because you stand by your choice. Because you made that choice. You chose him. Each time we choose someone we give them the gun and we could only hope they don't pull the trigger.”

-

"THANK you for winning the case for me, attorney. It's a big help to me and my wife.” Tatiana gave her clients her tight smile, she won the case again even if her mind and attention is divided these past few days.

"You're welcome. It's my job, and I'm happy to serve you since you deserve to win that case. Thank you for your cooperation Mr. and Mrs. Di Marco."

Tatiana went home early so that she could cook for her son and Jerome. She can hear their distant and muffled voice, they were talking.

"But daddy... I don't want..."

"Shh. It will be okay. Okay? I will always be here.”

"Hey." She greeted, when she opened the door, she saw her son teary eyed.

Wow. She haven't seen those tears in a while. "What's wrong?" She asked Jerome.

"Just a father and son talk." He smiled,.

"Yeah mom." Julian wiped his tears away.

“Daddy just talked me down that since I'm  9 now, I should be a man and have responsibilities.”

Tatiana frowned. "You're a good boy." But she appreciated the way Jerome has always been a father figure to her son.

"Hon, can we stay togethrr tonight? Just a family night. We haven't done that a while."

They ate out in a restaurant at the hotel, Jerome ordered everything especially her and Julian's favorite. It's like they were having a feast!

She tried to stop him since they could'nt finish all of it. But he insisted.

It was a five star hotel. The food could really cost so much.

"I'm gonna hand my resignation letter to uncle's firm next week. When we get there in Italy, I can reapply on the firm I worked for. The boss said that himself, I'm still welcome."

"Yeah. Tim said you're a big loss to the firm when you left.” Jerome shook his head.

"And how about you? Are all your sites done? Hmm, engineer?"

Jerome chuckled. "There are projects waiting for me when I go hack. Honestly, I miss the site but I should be with you. I feel like the more draw closer to work, the farther I am from you.”

She frowned at that, feeling a little guilty every single time. "I'm sorry, Rome."

"No, hon. There's no need for that." He turned to her son. "Enjoying the food, son?"

Julian hummed.

They went home after that, settling in the living room to watch a movie. Fast and furious ang napili ni Julian. Good thing Tatiana loves action movies. They were on the floor with comforters. They were in matching pajamas and they were having ice cream. .

In the middle of the movie, Julian fell asleep on Jerome's lap. He smiled to himself, if only this night would never end.

Tatiana felt Jerome's fingers entwined on hers. He held it so tight.  "You know I love you so much, right?"

Something tugged her heart when he said that. Tatiana could only smile back.

"I can make you the happiest, Tatiana. Whatever happens you will never cry with me. I will never hurt you, or make anything seem hard for you.  I will dedicate my time and efforts to you. Just you and Julian." He kissed her forehead, his lips lingered in there. There was something different about Jerome tonight and she couldn't point out what it was.

And here she thought she knew him.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Rome. For doing that to you but I promise that from now on, I will be a better woman and a better wife." She returned that tight grip he was giving her hand.

They finished the movie before they went to sleep with Julian in between them.

He was holding her throughout the night like tomorrow he's gonna lose her.

She wonders what happened. Jerome looked so melancholic. He was acting really strange.

Tatiana woke up late around 9:00 in the morning. Jerome wasn't there anymore when she walk up.  He was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Mrs. Susan left And Julian, Christian borrowed him to watch a basketball game. They'll be back in the afternoon." Jerome smiled before he turned to cook again.

He cooked a lot for breakfast. There's ham and egg, may sausage din at fruit salad. He didn't eat much. He watched her eat.

"I'm going upstairs" he said after breakfast while she stayed to wash the dishes. These days she hasn't been doing any chores. An hour or so passed but Jerome hasn't been down yet. But she heard the shower on a while ago.

Jerome came back dressed, Tatiana's forehead creased.

"You're going somewhere? You didn't say anything.”

Jerome smiled at her. She don't why, but that smile don't look like he was happy.

Seriously, what's wrong with him?

"Tatiana we need to talk."

She got nervous. "Okay... about what? Is there something you're not telling me, Rome?"

Jerome shook his head.  "I'm going back to Italy today. My flight is in next three hours."

“Did something happen? Is there a problem on site? Jerome, you should have told me about it. And when are you coming back then?" She asked. Maybe he didn't tell her because he always sees her tired.⁹. Or maybe she was just too blind to see Jerome's having a problem of his own, maybe she's just too self centered to even notice.

"No... nothing's wrong with work, Love. I'm just... leaving." She saw his jaw clench. His eyes were so soulful like the first day they met, but this time it didn't look happy. It was soulful yet sad. "I'm letting you go, Tatiana."

"Jerome, what are you----"

He nodded, he looked at her intensely.   "I love you, and there's no one else I'd rather marry but... you're not happy with me Tati. And it was so wrong for me to push myself to you, ask you to annul him. I'm sorry for thinking you could be happy with me and that you can learn to fall inlove with me again. I was... delusional and selfsih."

He breat. "But I see it now, and I just want you happy, you and Julian. I just want a complete family for him and if it can't be me, then I'm letting you go to go back to him. I don't want to force you into something you will regret someday." his hand reached to caress her face. "You didn't tell me but I can feel it, you're not here."

She couldn't stop her tears this time. He always understands her. He always knows.  Even her thoughts and what she feels.

It wasn't relief because Jerome... Jerome is her bestfriend.

He have seen her downfall, he had picked her up and fixed her. He was just always there.

And now, she's about to lose him.

Or him to her.

It didn't really matter. It still hurts either way.

"Don't worry, I cancelled all the plans for the wedding and I talked to your parents." His voice broke. "and to Julian."

"Jerome," it was all she could say.

“Shh, don't cry okay? Don't make this harder for me, Tati.” he chuckled.

"You're so beautiful, Tatiana. Naturally beautiful, a goddess even. Aside from my mom, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen my whole life.  There's... so much memories I have with you, thank you. For those eight years, you made me the man I am today, you made me the happiest man. Thank you for... everything.

That's why, what I'm doing right now hindi ito madali." He held both her shoulders.    "That's why make this worth it. Go back to him, introduce Julian... give him a father. Be happy, don't give up on that man. Okay? you take him back, Tati."

“And please, if... if you win him back and you marry him again.  just don't... send me an invitation, just don't let me know. When I'm okay then I'll come around, I promise I'll always be your friend. But I might be gone for a long time,  I'll be going with the team in Barcelona, I'll start new there. I'll come around, I swear."

“Just... take care of yourself."

All Tatiana could ever do with those words was to nod. She couldn't breathe. She was losing something big but she knew that if she really loses Jacob, she's done for. She's gonna lose half of her again like she did years ago.

"Make this worth it, okay? I won't let you go just to lige in fear. So make sure you do the right thing. I'm letting you go now, Tatiana. I love you so much."

"Jerome, what if..." she gasped "What if I'm too late?"

"No one's too late in love."

Jerome hugged her again an he went upstairs to get his luggage. He saw Tatiana in tears while he was descending downstairs. It took all his courage to make his decision final not to think twice about letting them go this.

Because... that's love, right? Like real love. It doesn't force anything. It doesn't hurt. It's not selfish.

He was on his way out when he felt her arms wrap on his waist.

“Thank you, Jerome... Thank you."

He smiled before he turned to kiss her forehead.

No, he didn't lose the fight. He still won, alright. Because he knew the moment he let her go, he's giving her a chance to be really happy. .

He glanced at her beautiful face one last time, she waved at him. With a heavy heart, he started his car to leave.

He will always love Tatiana and even if he moved on one day, she will always have a special place in his heart.

Always.