Chapter 37: Chapter 37

When Brendon comes running back, I get scared and have to think about what I know. "My name is Julianna, Lauren. Can I help you?" Yes, she does. "Does this room have an Epi-pen?" She just gasps, and I look at the group of kids she's with who are standing off to the side. The lifeguards had already sent everyone else back to the changing room.

Who would recognize Lauren?

"When I yell, one girl walks up to me with her eyes wide open and asks, "Does she have an Epi-pen?"

"I-I don't know, I had no idea Lauren went through this." She says it softly and looks like she's about to cry.

"Okay, calm down. You are not to blame." She sneezes when I tell her. "Could you check her locker, please?"

She quickly nods and walks away, making me nervous. She can't get enough air, so she is turning red and purple.

"All right, I'm good to go." I agree with what Brendon says. "Can I help you in any way?"

"Is this where I can find the Epi-pen?" He shakes his head as if he doesn't know when I ask him.

"I'm not sure." He mumbles.

I open the kit and go to the normal pocket where we keep things like Aspirin and our Epi-pen in case of an emergency.

I let out a sigh of relief when I close my hand around it and pull it out. These kits are checked once a month, so I knew it wouldn't go bad.

"I need you to call 911 and tell them that we are about to give an Epi-pen to a patient who is having an allergic reaction." I say in a calm voice to Brendon, and he nods and gives me a thumbs up. We need you to find Micheala.

You'd think I was a regular OR surgeon from how calm I was when I talked. Even though it was scary and hard, I had to stay calm. I wouldn't get anywhere by freaking out.

I try to put my gloves on as fast as possible. Even though my hands were wet, I tried to put them on.

"I'll give this to you, Lauren. Have you done this before?" She shakes her head when I ask her. She seems more worried that I'll stick a needle in her leg than that she might stop breathing. "I know it's scary, but take a deep breath and be brave, okay?" When I ask her, she coughs and quickly nods.

I move behind her so that if she passes out, she won't hit her head on the pool deck. She is shaking, and I'm not sure how long she will be able to keep breathing.

"Alright." I say it quietly so she doesn't get upset. I take out the injector by sliding it out and opening the cover that protects it. I take off the blue cap on the end and put all of my fingers around the barrel. She looks so scared that it makes me sigh. "Take my hand," she said. I keep pushing her away, so she puts her hand on mine and squeezes it tight. "Okay, ready?" When I ask her and put the barrel on her skin, she whimpers. "One, two, three," I say, pressing it hard into her leg until I hear it click.

Her eyes get big, and she looks like she's going to die. "Make a three." I count out loud for three seconds as I hold the needle in her leg. Then I take it out and put it back in the case, which is far away.

"All right, that's it. You did great, Lauren." I tell her it's okay by putting my fingers on her leg and massaging the area to get things moving faster.

Even though her eyes are moving, her airway is getting a little bit bigger. She can breathe a little better now, but she's still hurting. We need this ambulance to come here as soon as possible.

"Okay, they're leaving." As he walks back over and puts his own gloves on, Brendon says. What do I need to do?

"Let's put her where she can heal." I suggest. "Just now, she got a shot. If she has a pen, she can try again in five minutes if she has one."

"Is she alive now?" When he asks, I tell him yes.

"She's changed for the better." I tell him, and we turn her onto her side to keep her airway open. "How are you doing, Lauren?" When I ask her, she just gives me a weak nod. "You were brave to do that, I know it was scary." Brendon takes the blanket out of the first-aid kit and puts it over her after I tell her. "Where's the new lifeguard?" I just couldn't remember her name.

"Brianna is speaking to them." He tells her, "When I look up again, I see her asking the group of teens questions."

"Could you give her some incident reports so she can figure out what happened?" I ask him, and he uses a pen to get them out of the first-aid kit.

I put my hand over her mouth and nose so I could feel her breathing on it. "Okay, let me just take your heart rate." I put my fingers on her neck and feel for it to find out what she says.

"I've got it!" When I tell her friend, she comes running over with a new Epi-pen. Is she alright?" She asks while tears are running down her face, and I tell her yes.

"She's fine now because we gave her one of ours." I said it. "But thank you, this helps a lot." Brendon puts his hand on her shoulder and pulls her away from what's going on when I say something.

I kept a close eye on her because it wasn't over yet. Still, she couldn't breathe well on her own, and the rash wouldn't go away.

As her eyes start to close, I shake her shoulder. Please stay with me, Lauren." I tell her and her eyelids flutter. "Lauren," I try to tell her to be careful, but she doesn't answer.

I quickly turn her over on her back and grab her shoulders, but all she can do is move her eyes. That won't be enough forever. Even though it's only been two minutes, I can't take another shot yet.

"Brendon." I tell him in a firm voice, and he goes back to talk to Brianna's friend. "I think she might fall, so I need you to open the AED."

He nods and opens the device, taking out the patches but not putting them on. Lauren's eyes are closed when I turn around.

"Lauren!" I say her name and tap her on the shoulder, but she doesn't answer. I hurt her when I hit her in the chest with my knuckles. But she was out of her mind.

I sit next to her and tilt her head up, but she doesn't say anything. I feel sick to my stomach, and I pull the blanket off of her. "Shit." I sigh. "Brendon, get it going."

Even though I've never done compressions on a person before, I start them right away. Everything about it, including how it sounded and felt, just stuck in my mind. As I counted out loud while she lay there with no signs of life, I felt sick. Brianna was telling her friends to leave, and I sighed as Brendon cut the front of her swimsuit, revealing her chest.

"Her navel has been pierced." When he talks, I agree.

"It's inside of us, so we can't get rid of it." He agrees with what I say. When he turns on the AED, the machine's voice starts talking.

"Call nine-one-one, remain calm, continue CPR." As Brendon opens a pocket mask so I can give rescue breaths, I keep going. " Take off all your clothes, dry your skin, shave any hair, and put on patches. "He does this while I apply the patches to her skin and give her compressions." Look at the rhythm of her heart, but don't touch her." We don't touch her, and the machine searches for something to shock.

"No shocking rhythm is found, continue CPR." I go back to pressing when the machine tells me. She is only 16 years old. I can't let her die because she's too young. I'm in charge of security for this shift, and if someone dies, I can't take it.

This is the worst thing I've ever had to do.

"I can jump in after this one." I try not to look at her face as I nod when Brendon says something. He starts chest compressions after I give him two rescue breaths. I lean back on my knees and think about what could go wrong. It's hard, but I try not to spiral.

"Come on, Lauren." I mutter and touch the back of her neck with my fingers. I'm starting to feel scared, which isn't a good sign.

"Following the heart's beat." When the AED beeps, we both pull our hands away. We wait and wait for what feels like weeks. "Shock is recommended, press the red button that says shock."

You understand, and so do I." I say it out loud, take a step back, and raise my hands. He gives the button a nod and presses it.

"Shock has been given, continue CPR, and watch for signs of life."

I turn my head and listen, but she's still not breathing on her own. "Keep going." He agrees with what I say. Then I see Micheala coming over with paramedics following her, and I feel better. They are ready for this, but we're not.

"What's going on?" As they put down their gear, the first one asks, and I take a deep breath.

I was told, "She has a pretty bad cold allergy, and this has never happened before." When I whisper something, the second paramedic joins Brendon in CPR.

People ask me a lot of questions, and I know the answers to some of them and don't know the answers to others. After five minutes, the paramedic opens the second Epi-pen and gives it to her through her leg.

"We'll set things up, so keep doing what you're doing." The first one says, "I'm giving CPR again."

I'm worried to the point where I can't even laugh. I can't believe this happened when I was in charge. Maybe if I had been more careful or gotten her out of there faster...

We need to insert the tube." One of them says after putting some things together. Her throat is so swollen shut that she can't breathe:

We let them decide what to do, and once the tube is in, we give two more rescue breaths. We keep giving CPR until we hear the AED start to work again.

"Following the heart's beat." We all get out of the way and wait. My heart is in my ears while I wait. "You have to shock them. " The paramedic gives it after a short pause, and the heart rate monitor starts to beep.

"Alright, we've got her." The EMT's words. "She's here, but her heartbeat isn't strong."

As I sit back on my heels, they start putting in an IV. "We need to put her to sleep so that she doesn't stop breathing again on the way to the hospital. What she needs can be done with our tools." He tells them to start giving her medicine, get a stretcher, and get her ready to go to the hospital.

"Do you think that she'll be all right?" When I ask, the paramedic sighs.

"It will be a few days before we know. Is she here with family?"

"Just now, she was here with her friends. She knows someone." When I say "yes," he agrees. I felt terrible, like I'd let this happen to her. The other paramedic was using a bag mask to help her breathe, and I just felt cold. "But she and they are both young." He nods and writes something in his notebook when I tell him something. "I apologize."

"Hon, you did all you could, which was a lot." He says. "Leave her with us, you and your team have done everything that could be done."

"Alright." I mumble, and they talk to Micheala, probably about paperwork and how to get in touch. After she leaves, all of her friends follow, and the three of us stand on the pool deck with nothing to say and broken hearts.

My chest hurts when I breathe, and my eyes feel hot. What did I do wrong?

You three should pack it up and bring it to the office, where we'll talk about it." Micheala says things in a clear way. We put away the first-aid kit, and I go to the office of the lifeguards with the other two.

When this happens, we all have to fill out a form that feels like it's about us. She told us that we could talk to her if we were interested. I couldn't talk because I knew it would make me cry.

He told them, "Okay, you three need to go home." She sighs and shakes her head. "The pool is closed for the night, so go get some sleep. I'll let the front desk know." We all obey what she says. "You won't be back at work for a week, so I'll find someone to fill in for you. If after a week you're still not ready, let me know."

We all get up and start gathering our things. I need to leave.

"Also, I can't say this enough: She says, folding her hands on her desk. "Don't spend the night alone at home; instead, go to someone who cares about you and stay with them."

We all nod. I should probably call my parents, I think.

I'm the last one to leave the office, carrying a bag full of clothes I wore there. My body was tired, my legs hurt, and the pool deck had bruised my knees.

"Julianna?" She says, "Turn around," and I do. "I'm proud of you because you did a good job today. Things take place." I nod quietly and feel tears welling up in my eyes. I go back out to the pool deck and put my feet back into the sandals I had kicked off. I put on my raincoat and ran out the door, carrying the rest of my clothes in my backpack.

I can't breathe until I get outside. The rain is hitting me, but I need to feel it. I can't calm down, and I'm not sure what to do.