Chapter 55: Chapter 55

Kate had just texted her, no doubt watching the talk show from her photoshoot. Ana was scrambling around before finding her remote control, cursing many expletives until she saw that dazzling face smiling back at her. Well, at the audience. The rising star from Jane Eyre, it said.

"Why acting? What made you fell in love with acting?"

"Like most children I loved watching superheroes. My parents often brought us their children to theater, and I got to play as a side character in the third grade. One of my teachers noticed me and told me I had a potential. It went from that, I guess. I played through my high school and attending school for arts after I graduate. I love to explore the characters, and bring them to life."

"You were a theater performer, please do share what you thought about being a movie actor now. Is it different?"

"I admit it was a whole lot different. In theater you got to do a few rehearsals before performance. In movie, though, I dived right into the scene. It was hard at first, but I have fellow actors and seniors to help me get used to it," he smiled widely. "Oh, and I have to mind the cameras. There did so many angles and I need to show my emotion well while filming. In the theater, there was no editing, no repeating, and the pressure was real, I have to play perfectly. However, I think acting in front of the cams was so much more intense."

"What do you prefer, Eric?"

He shrugged, a small smile plastered on his face. "It's safe to say that they have their own pros and cons, and as an actor, regarding my field, I have to respect it and do the best I can."

"Wow, quite a philosophy you have," she grinned. "And what do you think about this film? It was a modern version of a classic British novel, right?"

Eric gave her an all-American boyish grin, obviously bursting with pride. "I was so happy and proud to be involved in it. The work was satisfying and I've had the pleasure to meet with amazing people. There'll be premiere in LA early September, and in London late October. The international release will be in December this year, so I hope you all could watch it."

The presenter nodded at him. "We would miss it for the world. So," she winked, "how about admirers? Any admirers you've met while filming?"

He laughed, shyly—Ana noticed. "Admirers, uh, I don't know. Everyone on the set was so kind to me, but I didn't know any admirers."

"You don't know? Okay. How about significant other? Do you have one?"

Ana swore he was blushing just then, but he shrugged it off.

"Uh, no. I don't have a girlfriend at the moment."

The hostess turned to the camera. "You heard that, ladies? We all have opportunity here," she winked, teasing him, a few shouts were heard through the TV. "Wow these people sure are eager!"

"Actually," he cut her and the growing noises off. "Actually, I have a big crush on someone." Ana heard the studio went 'aww' and 'ohh' then. The camera zeroed in on Eric's face, giving the perfect angle to see his sweet smile. "And she's perfectly amazing."

"Aw, I can see you're awestruck. She must be really amazing, seeing you gushing here."

"She really is. I've never quite met someone like her. She's well-read, she knows what she wants and does her best to do it. She's also the best friend one could ever ask for."

"Does she share your love for acting?"

Ana held her breath.

"If you meant she's an actress, then no, she's not. But she's in the field, that's how we met. She supported my career, though."

She exhaled slowly. A longing tugged at her heart.

"A non-actress, I see. Well, what are you waiting for? Grab her fast, you hear me."

Eric shook his head. "To be honest, I don't think she fancies me that much. We only had a few moments together on the set. And we only had one dinner night. That's all."

He obviously didn't mention her poor judgment and José gatecrashing their date. Ana felt somewhat ashamed.

"You only had one date? For real?" Eric nodded with a small smile. The hostess puffed out her cheeks. "I'd say, girl, don't waste your time. There's a good guy here waiting for your open arms. Do you have anything to say to her, Eric?"

"I have," he said as he turned to the camera. "If you're watching this, I hope you're living the long-time dream you've had. And if you got famous, remember I'll always be your number one supporter."

And though he didn't say it out loud, Ana knew what he was trying to convey through his words and soft gaze:

'Be happy, Ana.'

________________________________________

Eric once said she was good in everything she did.

He would take his word back if he saw her like this.

The story draft she wrote those years ago was still in her old thick notebook. She stumbled upon it after searching high and low in her bedroom. She flipped through the source of her happiness back then when she was an awkward, lanky teenage girl, trying to fit in. Her writing had improved since then, but she still recalled her thoughts in the words.

She stopped at the non-story part of the book, containing a different aspect of her life then. Ana had written about her imperfect mother, and reticent father. She noticed it was in the exact time when her parents had decided to divorce. And then, there was a page full of regret that what had happened was her fault.

It was hard reminiscing this part of her life, when everything around her crumbled down and she had felt as though she was living in a big, fat lie. It was awful. It was all Ana could remember about her teenage days. Her mother's harsh words about relationship had marred her since.

She turned the page, smiling at some scribbles, wistful at the other. When she reached the last written part, it was like she found a little figment her soul again. She had forgotten when exactly she wrote it:

One day, I would write my own story and prove my Mother wrong.

The ink had embedded into the paper, but not into her heart. It was a promise, a silly promise a little girl could do as a form of 'revenge'. And as she lived through her life until now, she had become so much more than that.

She learned, and made mistakes. On rare days she would run fast, but the on the difficult ones, she crawled like an old turtle. It was her life, neither black nor white. It had all shades of colors she had just begun to understand.

Maybe one day she would forgive her mother.

And maybe one day, this promise will be true.

And maybe one day… she would not be this miserable about life, and that she had someone to share her life with.

Ana stood, her heart racing.

She would write again.

________________________________________

It was easier said than done.

Imagining the story in her head was easy, so many words to tell with so many possibilities. But sitting without moving in front of her battered laptop was another story.

Ana tried anything: writing in a different font, listening to music, watching videos in hopes she would get the feel—but she failed every time. One time she had tried to peruse some writing tips from an online website. Big mistake. She got distracted by how easy some other writers get their story done with so many words count she was speechless.

Let's face it, the last time I wrote was before the graduation. I even forget how it was to start a story.

"Dammit," she grumbled, rubbing her face roughly.

"You can still change your mind."

Ana lifted her eyes from her eyesore of a laptop as Kate slipped on her heels. "About what?"

"Not going tonight. You could come as my plus one, Ana."

She shrugged, waving her hands. "I'm sorry Kate, but I'm busy."

"Writer's block?"

"Ugh, it's worse than the last."

"Yeah, but you were like a genius back then," she smirked.

"Oh, shut up," she threw a crumpled paper at her. Kate snickered before her face morphed into a frown.

"But, you really don't wanna go? Eric will be there. He told me."

Ana winced. "I don't know, Kate."

"You know it means so much to me if you watch this movie," Kate added softly. "But I know what it feels like having your passion back."

Ana dropped her gaze to her hands that folded on her lap, her feet rubbed the rug beneath her. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, babe," she gave Ana a pat on her back. "Try looking into a different perspective this time, Ana. maybe it'll help."

She had tried that, too. But she appreciated her best friend's concern. "Thanks, Kate."

Kate smiled her proud I-save-the-day smile, but then her eyes widened. "Oh, Ana, before I forget, I found an envelope in your luggage when I was searching for my brooch," she motioned the dainty thing on her dress.

That piqued Ana's interest. "Envelope? What envelope?"

"Dunno. It's a light brown and small. Like a mini notebook?" Kate shrugged nonchalantly. "Man, I'm glad I asked you to keep this brooch for me before the drinking challenge at the wrap party. That was wild!" she drawled in an overdramatic way.

"Yeah, it was," Ana agreed distractedly.

"Anyway, gotta go. Bye, Thompson. Don't wait for me."

With a huge grin and an exaggerated wink, she skipped to the front door, leaving Ana alone with her thoughts.

Deciding it was time to stop for a while, Ana rose from her chair, cracking her stiff neck. She found herself walking to her bedroom. True to her words, Kate had left the envelope on her bed. And the first sight of it since he gave her nearly two months ago had her heart skip a beat.

God. How could she forget!

Ana lifted it carefully. Her fingers were trembling when she opened it. A myriad of emotions swamped her sense, as she found a stack of photos inside.

"Oh my God…"

It was her.

At least three out of ten pictures were of her. All of them were taken from afar, showing her with beautiful vista as the background. One particular picture was from the early evening before he approached her with tea in hand. She was looking at the distance, a speck amongst the hustle and bustle of film set, unmoving silhouette. But Eric had captured her in the golden hour, where the sky burst into many shades of sunset.

The ones without her in it were a collection of different landscapes. The sea at sunrise, Portland street in the night, an old bookstore in the hidden part of Alberta street she once told him when he asked her where was her favorite place in town. There was a photo of night sky, with a sea of stars and 'Sept. 10 1989' typed on it. She found his handwriting on the back:

A star was born this day, do you see it?

I'll tell you a secret: that star is now reading this.

That star is you, Ana.

Her throat constricted. No one had ever said this sort of thing to her. no one in this world was kind enough to let her know that she meant something to them more than just a burden, save for Kate and José. All of sudden she was overwhelmed with the urge to cry, and laugh, and choke him for taking her photos without her consent.

But, mostly, she was missing him like crazy.

"I know they would bring out your pale skin and blue eyes, Ana. You're so beautiful."

"You are special to me, baby."

"I like you, really like you."

"I hope you're living the long-time dream you've had."

"Until later, Miss Thompson."

And it struck her like a lightning.

All these foreign feelings, all these thoughts of him.

She was so afraid of falling, yet she didn't realize she was already halfway through that.

Ana stood up. Blood rushed in her vein. She dashed to her wardrobe, pulling out a coat and a shawl. Once she was covered, she was carelessly applying lip-gloss on her lips, then pinched her cheeks, arranging her messy hair in a high bun. Five minutes later, she was already locking her door, nearly got her shoes unmatched.

She went to her blue Civic, then drove through early evening traffic like a madwoman. She just had one goal. And that goal was a man with intense gray eyes.

________________________________________

"Kate, I'm here," she said breathlessly into her phone.

"What do you mean you're here?" Kate's voice was subdued by noises.

"At the theater? The Cinerama Dome? I'm standing in front of the room. Please tell the guard I'm your friend." She glared at the said guard, who was mumbling about crazy women. "He wouldn't let me in."

"What!"

"It's a long story. The point is, I'm sorry I acted like I didn't care, but I'm so proud of you Kate. I'm so happy to watch the premiere, but just this once, please, help me."

"Oh, Ana," she sighed heavily. "Wait. Hold on. I'll be there. Where are you exactly?"

Kate arrived a few minutes later, looking bewildered. She dragged Ana away from the guard's prying eyes. "What's the matter, Ana? Are you not well?" she fussed over her.

"No, I just… I want to meet Eric. I mean, Mr. Miller."

"Oh…"

"Please. I'm sorry but I'll make it up to you! I'll even make a fancap with your name on it and wear it when we watch the premiere in London. But can you help me in?" Crap. She must be blushing now.

Kate's eyes softened. "Oh, darling, I'm so sorry I already have my plus one." She led her striding to the guard—who wore a scowl. "Excuse me, sir, can you allow my friend here to enter? I supposed to bring her along with me."

"I can't, Miss. She's not a guest and she doesn't have an invite."

"I'm one of the casts of this movie," she said, half persuading, half challenging.

He wouldn't budge. "And yet you don't have another invitation."

Kate groaned before snapping her fingers. "Ana, wait here. I'll go back inside and ask him to meet you in the lobby."

Ana breathed a sigh of relief. "It's okay. I'm sorry for making a scene and—"

"Oh, shush. It's the second time in our friendship that I see the spark in your eyes."

Huh? "Spark?"

"Spark."

"When was the first time?"

Kate gave her a smirk. "When you told me you wanted to be a writer."

Oh. How apt.

________________________________________

She waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Where was he? Did Kate manage to see him? Did he change his mind and not attending? Did he not want to see her?

She paced back and forth, biting her lip. Everyone seemed to give her a weird stare. Why? She couldn't ponder the thought further as footsteps approached from behind. Turned around, she came face-to-face with him.

And he was gorgeous.

He wore a crisp white shirt, dark gray suit with matching tie and slacks. His copper hair tousled, already losing its style, maybe due to his constant hands running through it as he normally did. Seeing him made her realize how much she missed him.

But what she didn't expect was a girl on his arm, looking down at her tattered pink pajama pants.

Oh. That's why they stared. The realization was a tad too late.

"What are you doing here?"

His tone was full of skepticism, Ana felt a sting of rejection. "I…"

"Eric, who is she?" his date said, looping her arms to his tighter, making Ana wanted either to run and hide in the nearest hole or snatch his hand away. She was gorgeous, tall and curvaceous, with dark hair and dark eyes.

"This is Ana Thompson."

His date's eyes went wide. "Oh my God! It's you! My brother here was babbling about you every night on the phone!" she released his hand and rushed to Ana. In one swift motion, his sister hugged her. "It's nice meeting you, Ana!"

"Mia, that's enough," Eric blurted. Composing his stance, he added with measured smile, "Miss Thompson, meet my younger sister, Mia."

She didn't realize that she exhaled slowly in relief. That was unexpected, though. She was almost convinced this girl would spit venom at her.

"Nice to meet you."

"Me, too! Look, I'll leave you both. I only came because Eric is acting weird, but I'm sure that's nothing new with him," she teased Eric. "Now I know he is in a good hand. See you soon, Ana."

"You too."