Chapter 17: Chapter 17

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Questions of science...science and progress. Do not speak as loud as my heart

"What's with the bodyguard?" I said in annoyance as I forced my way inside Zee's room. "I'm her best friend, yet I'm not even allowed to enter?"

"It's a protocol," the bodyguard plainly replied, standing like a statue.

"Curse your protocol!" I yelled in frustration. "How is she supposed to get better when you are letting her stay there alone?"

I smudged my face and tried to calm myself. I was thinking of making a scene, but remembered that it might lead for me not being able to step foot in the hospital. It's not that I have a plan on roaming around our hospital, but I need to be here as long as Zee's here.

I accepted my defeat, or pretended I did while still thinking what to do. I went to the nurse station and looked for Loud, but he wasn't there. Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him since last week. I was busy managing my time. From school work, part-time jobs, band practice, visiting Zee, and even fighting with my anxiety.

I hate to admit it, but I need my everglow. Though, it seems that he doesn't need me. I missed him. I guess we really appreciate the presence of a person when they are gone. Should I text him? Loud didn't even go home. Oh well, nevermind! Let's just pretend that I don't care about him. We're not even together!

I passed by the nurse station and wasn't supposed to listen to the nurses when I overheard them, but they caught my attention when they said banana milk. Of course, banana milk is not a usual drink and I happened to know two people who loved banana milk.

"So, is he the real boyfriend? Not the pilot guy?" the nurse with a bun asked.

"I think so? But why is he not allowed to go inside her room, right? Woah, do you think it's like a forbidden love? You know, Romeo and juliet?" the blonde nurse replied, which confirmed that it's definitely about someone I knew.

I hissed and instantly reacted. "That sucks! Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. It's a three-day or what-so-ever love at first sight thing that causes so many lives."

There is no way my best friend and the love of her life will end that way. And, Romeo and Juliet just totally sucks! I used to enjoy it back when we were in high school, but it made me realize the brutal consequences of forcing a love that isn't meant to be. Or maybe they are meant to die together. I'm just bitter and cynical.

They both looked surprised and immediately went back to their seats. The blonde nurse kept the pack of banana milk inside her drawer before smiling at me.

I guess they know that I am the owner's daughter, based on their facial expressions. Not that I care. If only I could change my surname right now.

"Do you need anything?" she casually replied. Still not meeting my gaze. Hell, is she afraid of me? It's not like I can fire them.

"Who gave you the banana milk?"

"Uhm, one of the patients-" she hesitated.

"Relax, okay? I'm not going to eat you alive. Just tell me."

She looked at the girl with the bun and maybe thought for a second before saying. "There's this guy, a very handsome guy."

I rolled my eyes when her eyes twinkled at the thought. I mean, I know that Zack Zendaya is fucking handsome. I just want to confirm if he is really here or if he did come.

"He visits Zee Zamora every night. The night nurses usually received a pack of banana milk from him. At first, they thought that it was okay to let him in because why not when he showed the nurses proof that he knew Zee. We really thought he was the fiance until..."

"Until the real fiance came, and the owner of this hospital fired all the nurses who let that certain guy enter Zee's room? Am I right?"

They both nodded in silence. There was a look in their eyes that showed fear for what would happen upon revealing the details to me.

"For the record, the chinito guy slash Chinese looking guy is the fiance, but the guy who gave you the pack of banana milk is the real deal - real thing. So, tell me, when was the last time you saw the banana milk guy?"

"Two days ago," they both replied.

Two days ago? Damn! I was doing band practice for our battle and was spending my time cursing our professor for giving so much readings. I should have gone and maybe caught a glimpse of Zack fucking Zendaya. I am really going to punch him in the face when I see him.

"Is he okay? I mean, how does he look?"

"He looked fine."

We all looked at my back when I heard Aae's voice - Zee's fiance. He looked rugged, unlike his soft look back in high school. It seems that life has gotten both of us real hard.

"You lied to me," I told him with a bit of anger. "You told me it wasn't Zack who left the flowers and when I smelled mint."

"What would you do if it's Zack?" Aae plainly replied like he was saying that it doesn't matter if he is here or not.

"I knew Zack before I even knew you existed, so I believe I deserve to know if my closest friend," I emphasized the last words. "Is here to actually save my best friend."

"In what way can he save a girl in a coma when the doctors couldn't even save her? Is he a God?" Aae sarcastically replied.

I HAD TO FUCKING SLAP HIM THE FACE BECAUSE OF MY FRUSTRATION AND ANGER.

My palm left a mark on his side cheek.

He bends his head a little before smiling like I didn't hit his face that hard.

"It's okay," Aae stopped his bodyguards.

I recognized one of his bodyguards since it was the one who always accompanied Zee wherever she goes. She glared at me while I stuck my tongue. I even flipped my hair. Tch. I miss my long hair, it's such a mood when I flip my hair around people.

"I'll take care of your best friend, you don't have to worry." He bowed down and regret crossed his voice. "I let go of her and distanced myself hoping she would be okay, but no, from now on I'll stay with her no matter how hard she pushes me away. That's a promise."

"I used to like you, a lot, when we were in high school and even though you and Zee looked cute together," I confessed. "I know her brother's death was an accident. No one wanted it, but you can never erase the fact that you were the reason why that accident happened."

I glared at him. I felt pity for a second that eventually turned into hatred. I know I'm not in the position to hate him, but I love my best friend.

"If you love Zee, you'll do things that will make her happy and it includes not marrying her. Can you say no to your arranged marriage?"

Aae smiled a little and sighed. "I'll make sure to make Zee fall in love with me. I will never leave her again."

"Make sure to wake her up first because never leaving again doesn't matter if she's dead," I fired.

I walked away. Unluckily, I saw my bitch sister as I crossed the hallway. It was too late to turn back because she already saw me.

As usual, she looked at me with disgust. I never really understood why she hated me so much. I couldn't remember why we became like this, or maybe it was the fact that we were always like this.

"You know what, I was trying to remember one happy moment with you but I can't. Are we always like this?" I asked her, Gwen.

She raised her brows. She was wearing a white coat, her hands were inside his pocket as she stared at me.

"Why are you asking me that?" she scowled. "Are you going crazy?"

I shrugged. "I was just wondering why you hate me so much when I did nothing wrong. I always looked up to you and envied you, once."

"You're so full of yourself," she turned to me before pressing the elevator button.

"Am I? Or is it just you?"

She laughed sarcastically. "We are not having this conversation."

It was my turn to laugh. I stepped inside the elevator and pressed the button down.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"No, I was laughing because you don't even know why you hate me," I combed my hair with my hands and recalled a moment with my mother.

"Or maybe I do," I frankly said. "Do you still hate me because mom gave me that old hairbrush?"

She flipped her long wavy hair before eyeing me. "Why would I when she bought me the most expensive hair brush?"

"Because you know that mom gave me the thing she valued the most," I whispered, enough for her to hear.

I saw the hurt that crossed her eyes for a second.

"You were saying our mother favors - favored you?" She smirked. "Then, why did she throw you away from the family?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" I replied. "I'd like to know too."

I bowed a little and gave her a winning smile because seeing her frown and hating me as much as she already hated me is such a mood.

"See you soon, dear sister."

The elevator closed.

---

"You are late because?" Victoria, the president of Pop Band, who recruited me to represent our school for the Battle of the Bands asked.

She was sitting beside Var, whom she also managed to convince to join the competition again because she used me. Our drummer, Herrold, was playing with sticks on the side corner while Harper, our bassist, was talking to his girl over the phone.

"Because she still went to work," Var frowned. "Wanna marry me? So you can stop working. I'll provide for you and our family," he offered.

"For a second, I thought of saying yes," I teased him.

"Make sure you will win tomorrow, okay?" Victoria cut us. "We need to win this."

"You're putting too much pressure on us, girl," Var commented. "Why not sing yourself if you want to win?"

"Agreed," Herrold reacted. "Why recruit Var and Gab back to the band again?"

I nodded and waited for her response. She crossed her arms before glancing at us. "For the record, I am going to join the solo competition, okay? Other members of the team will join other competitions too. And, Var and Gab are the only members of the team who are fit for Battle of the Bands," she explained with hand gestures. "They already made names back then. I am only following the tradition."

I wagged my head in disbelief. I opened my bag and grabbed the hairbrush Loud bought for me.

"Are you seriously gonna comb your hair?" Victoria pouted. She can be mean sometimes, well all the time except when she is asking for favors.

"Yes, and you are going to let me finish," I replied as I started to comb my hair. I don't know. It's a habit I never unlearned. I just like combing and it felt like a stress reliever to me as if the strands have all those bad moments and they'll be gone if I comb it. Weird me.

"Sure. As long as you win. You need to watch out for the Tigers. They won last year, so let us give them a comeback! Animo, Archers!" Victoria exclaimed in determination. She is really making this a big deal.

"If you want to give me motivation. Talk to one of my professors, and tell him to exempt me from quizzes. Any of my professors will do."

"Oh, just that? Easy honey," she stood up and asked for my schedule. "Win it and I'll promise I'll talk to all your professors to give you a break."

"Call," Harper smirked.

"Sure thing," Herrold rolled his sticks.

"Fair enough," Var answered.

"What are we doing? Let's practice!" I grabbed the microphone and sat in front of the keyboard.

"But, if you lose," Victoria warned. "I'll make sure this semester is gonna break your soul."

I was never going to believe her until I remembered she's the daughter of one of the Board Committee, and I know better not to cross the line. And, who says we're not going to win?

I am very confident that we will win the Battle of the Bands. I am that great.

I was so sure of it.

But, I lost it when Loud appeared in front of us with a big smile while holding his guitar during the actual Battle of the Bands in the arena. I haven't seen him for ages and he just appeared like a long-lost bird in front of me right now.

I was also holding a guitar with the guitar case that he gave me. He proudly looked at it.

"Hi, babe!" he greeted, still not giving away his smile.

"Don't babe me. Do I know you?" I circled my eyes to the point that he could only see the white one.

"Woah, woah!" He seems amused. "What's with the attitude, babe? Aren't you happy to see me?"

"No. I actually forgot you existed," I blasted.

"Hmm..." He looked at me like he was thinking of something totally absurd.

Before he could say something, a red-haired girl wearing the usual band member outfit, which includes: black leather jacket, white crop top, black plants, and boots, came into us.

She's pretty, yeah, slight. I'm not sure since she was wearing heavy make-up on top of everything. I wasn't even sure if the red lips fit her features. She looked funny, a clown. Well, maybe it was just me being biased or hating the fact that Loud is talking to her and he hadn't talked to me in ages.

"Hey, Lauyton. You're here," she widened her eyes. "Oh, are you hungry? Do you wanna grab some food? I haven't eaten yet," she is definitely flirting. Ugh. I can't stand her!

"No, I'm full," said Loud, who's still looking at me. That made the girl aware of my existence.

She stared at me from head to toe and I stood proud. "Oh, who is she Loud?"

I was waiting for Loud to say something real nice, you know? However, I got disappointed when he replied, "She's a friend of mine."

Friend? I almost threw up.

Oh well, he's right about being friends with me. Yeah, but friends? Since when did we become friends? Are we even friends?

Maybe I was expecting something like- ugh! Why am I even making it a big deal?

"Yeah, we're friends."

"Oh, that's good that you're only friends," the girl smiled triumphantly as she emphasized the word friends.

"It's nice that you are also friends with him," I mocked.

I tried to hide my contempt, but maybe it was too obvious that Loud made a buzz sound. I could sense he was trying to conceal his laugh.

"Are you trying to stop yourself from laughing, Mr. Elarde?" I formally asked.

He smiled brightly. "You look beautiful in your oversized plaid shirt dress." He licked his lips and chuckled. "And amazingly gorgeous with your high boots. Is that what you call it?"

"Don't flutter me with words. We're not done yet," I rolled my eyes. "You don't look good in your half-tucked shirt, duh!"

"I know because I look awesome," he chuckled.

I flipped my hair before walking. Of course, I am never going to tell him how handsome he is. Duh!

I met Var on the side stage along with the band members. Victoria being nosy, asked. "Do you know that guy? Gosh! It's our rival band. You need to beat him, okay? Whatever connection you have with him!"

"That guy is his guy," Var pointed at me and acted jealous.

"He's not my guy."

"Can I be your guy, then?"

"Who's your fiance? I am gonna tell her you are flirting with me."

"Go on. She doesn't care," Var shrugged. "And I don't care."

"Well, I care about our band so make us proud," Victoria said. She lectured us for a second. I did not understand anything since I was busy watching Loud from the crowd. He was with his bandmates? I wasn't sure. I didn't even know he was joining.

Is that why he's been busy this past few weeks? Ugh. He's busy flirting with other girls. Hah! If I know, he isn't really sincere about me.

"Let's hear some noise!!" The crowd cheered when the emcee started walking on the stage. "Are you ready?"

"READY!!!" they screamed.

The emcee announced a few things, made funny comments, talked nonsense things, introduced the school, the judges, and did the usual boring stuff in every program before calling us - since we are the first one to perform.

"You need to raise the bar high, Archers!" The emcee excitedly said as soon as we stepped on the stage. "I believe I recognize this lovely lady. Do you?" He asked the crowd as he glanced at me.

I bowed down and said hi which made the crowd go wild. "Still remember me?"

"Who wouldn't remember a gorgeous lady like you?" Var commented. He handed me the wireless microphone and tucked the loose hair behind my face. The crowd loudly teased us. I used to join a lot of band competitions back when I was still in high school and I did once when I was in first year.

"Are you enjoying this?" I murmured.

He grinned. "A lot."

I blushed for a second. I never really understood myself for not seeing Var before he got engaged.

He patted my back before turning to the crowd. "Let us hear you scream!!! Let's go, Archers!!!"

I raised my hand and jumped like I'm having a concert. Damn! I miss singing in front of these huge crowds.

At that moment, I never cared about winning, all I know is that I enjoyed it a lot. I screamed my lungs out and for a minute I'm not thinking of anything, just singing to my heart's content. Just making them hear how awesome Var's arrangement of Viva La Vida and Numb. I always knew he would never fail us.

So, I did not also fail us because I am confident enough to say I did a hell of a performance.

And, judging all their performance I can say we'd win it if Loud and his bandmates didn't exist.

"So, let's hear your guy sing. Is he that good?" Var whispered. He offered me bottled water.

"He is," I commended Loud. "He is that good, even better than you."

"You hurt my ego." He placed his palm on his chest and acted in pain. "Uh. I'm dying!"

I hit his head and he laughed. "Well, what is he going to -- damn!" Var cursed as soon as he heard Loud singing voice. "Goddamn version of Where is the love! Did he arranged it?"

"I have...no...fucking idea..." I slowly said while trying to stop myself from screaming - fangirling like the rest of the crowd who's turning the arena into a concert stage. "He can rap?" I blinked.

I had to thank the lighting effect of this arena because my face is actually flustered and I am totally having butterflies in my stomach. I could feel my heart beating so fast and all I could do was to stare at him. If he could see me now, he would probably be jumping his ass out because I would be admitting how awesome he is.

He got me. What else can I do?

"Now, you have to tell me why you're still letting that guy go?" Var widened his eyes. "Hello, are you blind? I am admitting defeat here. I ain't gonna court you."

"C'mon, having a great voice is not the only thing to consider in a relationship, okay?" I argued.

"But, I think having someone like him can make bad days into good days. Am I right?"

"He can make a star glow," I simply replied.

"And, you are a star," Var meaningfully smiled. "If we lose, it's okay."

"We are not going to lose," Victoria grinned.

"Agreed," Harper arrogantly nodded.

"That guy may have the best vocals among all of you," Victoria pointed at Loud and started laughing crazily. "He doesn't blend with the girl and that's fucking part of the criteria! Woah!!!!" Victoria jumped and hugged us. "That's why I chose both of you because you blend perfectly!"

"Yeah. It's like you shared one vocal and everything you know," Herrold said as he danced to the beat.

I nodded a bit. I also thought Var is the perfect blend for me, not until I met Loud.

"Sucks. They don't really blend. Let the guy sing alone!" Victoria shouted.

I have to agree because for the record, we won!

However -- yes, there's always a but in every word I say or in every situation. How I wish I could end a sentence with just a period, without the need of conjunction.

Like I can say, I'm jealous. Just that, without having to say but I should let it go because we're not together.

I'm jealous, but who am I to get jealous? Who am I to get jealous of that girl flirting with Loud after the band competition.

We won, okay?

They got second place and you know what, she kissed Loud! She fucking kissed Loud in his cheeks in front of the crowd - on the stage! Not only that, Loud hugged her back. He hugged her, knowing that I am just around the corner watching them with my deadly eyes.

What's her name, anyway?

Ugh. Why am I even jealous? It was a kiss, and I shouldn't be jealous. I know what I deserve but I fucking hate Loud to the point that I could kill him.

But, we're back to buts --- I am jealous but I'm not the girlfriend.

So, instead I asked Loud, "Are you trying to make me jealous?"

"Is it effective?" he simply replied. He is really enjoying this.

"Why do boys need to make the girl they love jealous?" I started to pick a fight because I felt like I want to punch him. Well, I'll use words, instead.

"Why do girls need to pretend that they don't like someone when they actually do?" he fired back.

"Why do boys force girls to commit to a relationship when they're not ready?" I crossed my arms.

"Why do girls assume that all boys are the same?" He clicked his tongue.

"Why do you want us to be together?" I slowly calm my voice.

"What other reason do you want to hear aside from I love you?" he gently answered.

"Why do you want us to be together when you know that my family will ruin you?" I breathe heavily.

"Do you think I don't have evidence to actually ruin your family?" He didn't blink for a minute, so did I, until I felt my eyes dry.

"If you have proof you have already - " I stopped and logically thought about what I had refused to do since I met him.

"You already have proof and you are just playing with me because you want me to reveal it myself," I stated and got no reaction from him which confirmed it.

"My family knew, right? They knew because you can't hide your identity from them."

Loud faked a laugh as he brushed his hair.

"Of course, they know. They thought that it already ended when they sentenced someone into prison. They thought I believed them, so they were willing to give me a space in your hospital or maybe it was their way of shutting me down because they know they have the power to hold me if I am within their range," he shrugged. "Maybe it is what it is."

Maybe? I thought.

"No, no," I laughed crazily when I realized.

Loud gave me a blank face, still trying to figure out what got into me. Oh well, I now fully understood why my family haven't done anything as of the moment. They are carefully planning it.

"Lauyton," I seriously looked at him, afraid that soon enough he'll look different because of me. "They're just looking for the right time to actually ruin you, for real."

...and they are going to use me.