Chapter 15: Chapter 15

014

Oh hey, I'm floating up above the world now

"You were saying you love Lauyton," Missy confirmed. "Yet, you rejected him? You let the chance of being happy slip away?" She questioned.

"I love him," I honestly replied because there's no point in lying. "But, it doesn't mean we should be a couple."

I have a lot of priorities and it doesn't include having a boyfriend. And, I'm fine with just being in love, and seeing Loud every day. I don't need commitments that would soon ruin both of our lives.

"That, I can never understand."

"You don't need to understand, Missy." I flipped the pages of my notes and continued reading. "Let's just review. Okay?"

"Are you happy?"

"What's with the question?" I raised my brow, while still paying attention to my notes.

"Answer it."

"How about you just answer this - What are de minimis benefits and how are these taxed?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she meaningfully said, "If you're happy don't let anyone take your happiness away."

I stared at her. She was looking at the pages of her notes with sadness in her eyes, and I felt like she wanted to cry.

"You got a problem?"

"No," she lied. I've been so used to lying about my feelings all the time, that I can now tell if the person is lying to me too about their feelings.

"Why are we reviewing for PHILSAT? It's months away! Gosh!" She flipped her hair and pretended nothing was wrong.

I watched her closely, waiting for her to say something. But when I sensed that she didn't want to talk about it, I dropped the conversation.

"It's better to be ready than sorry, okay?" I handed her my notes.

"Says the one who can memorize a whole book with one-seating. Do you have a photographic memory?"

"If you believe I am amazing, you haven't met my family," I chuckled a little as I remembered them. There's a fang in my chest I ignored.

"They have a photographic memory like Lexie?"

"Stop watching Grey's Anatomy," I commanded. "Start watching How to get away with murder because that will help you. And, there is no such thing as a photographic memory."

"I wish I got your brain to store all the information 'cause I felt like mine's gonna explode any minute," she scoffed.

"Missy, I'm not great," I frowned in disappointment at myself. "I didn't graduate first just like the rest of my siblings or my parents. I'm just average, and they are effortless."

That's the saddest reality of being part of my family. I spent the entire day studying, yet I still can't perfect it. While they can perfect sets of examinations with an hour or two of studying, especially my brother Gabriel. He's the best one and has always been my hero.

"Is that why you never pursue medicine?"

"I tried."

I spent my childhood days running around our hospital, visiting every department, checking patients, and even learning medical instruments hoping I would find my heart on it.

But, I got tired of hospitals, and the crowd, the smell, and the people who run the place. I never imagined myself standing in front of a patient. Let alone see a dead body on a table.

"Finish your readings, Missy! Don't cram!"

"Sucks! I don't know why I want to become a lawyer. Hell, I hate studying!"

"Why did you choose it?"

"Simply because I like the title," she laughed.

"I can't believe you," I shook my head in disbelief.

"Where do you plan on studying law?" she asked.

I was about to say something when Kara butt in. "Yes, I'm curious. Can you afford it?"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure not to follow you, so you will learn how to work on your own." I handed her the paper I wrote. "That's the last paper."

"What? You were supposed to write my papers until the last semester. How am I going to pass?" She hysterically whined.

"I suggest you start reading actual books."

"You kidding me?" She glared at me.

"I'm afraid I'm not."

She went off pissed.

"Woah, what happened?" Missy unbelievably stared at me.

"I just realize that she should learn to work on her own if she wants to continue law school."

Or, maybe it's the fact that I want her to realize that she should never be afraid to fight for her dreams.

"Great. Though, how about Maquess? When will he stop asking for papers?"

"I heard you, Missy," Var chuckled a bit. "It's my last term, so it's the last paper."

I actually didn't give him a critique paper, instead, I wrote him a letter.

"May I excuse your friend for a while. She owes me lunch." Var smiled.

"My pleasure. Feed her right, okay?"

"I'll see you later, Missy!" I waved and followed Var.

"What are you craving for today? It's my treat."

"Beef sinigang with watermelon."

"Well, I happen to know the best in town," he answered as we walked to the parking lot. I'm dying to know what his car is for the day. I'm not fond of cars, Var made me change his cars everyday.

"How many cars do you have?" I asked him as we stopped in front of his Roll-Royce Sweptail. Fuck! That's freaking expensive. "Are you in need of a housekeeper? I think I want to apply." I joked.

"We have a lot of keepers, but I don't have a personal maid. Do you wanna apply?" He opened the car door for me.

"How much?" I chuckled a bit. "Anyway, how's your fiance? Don't you think she's going to kill me for having lunch with you?"

"She doesn't care," Var said as he coolly started the engine. "She doesn't like me."

"Do you like her?"

He quickly glanced at me and smiled. "I like you."

"I know. I am amazing!"

He chuckled as he pulled the seatbelt on me. "You are," he whispered before turning to the wheel.

I coughed. Sometimes I wish I fell in love with Var, because if that was the case, it would be a lot easier to fight for him.

"By the way, do you know Judge Gregory Maquess?" I remembered.

"If there's only one Judge Gregory Maquess in the country, I believe that's my father," he proudly answered.

"Oh, really?" I acted innocent. "Is there a chance I could meet your father?"

He glanced at me for a second with a confused look before looking at the road again. "Why? What's with him?"

"I am a fan. You know, I am an aspiring lawyer and he's one of the country's renowned jurists. And, I didn't know he was your father until today."

I gave him the most beautiful smile I could make at that moment.

"I'm afraid you can't," he smirked. "Unless you appear as my date."

---

"You done?" Jacquer's voice stopped me from unbuttoning my cardigan.

"What are you doing here?" I was surprised and a bit disappointed. "Where's Loud?"

"Loud told me to pick you up since he's busy," he replied as we walked to his car.

I raised my brow. "Busy? What makes him busy?"

...that he can't pick me up?

"Well, you don't need to pick me up. I can go home alone."

Jacquer glanced at me and shook his head as his lips formed a playful smile.

"What?" I widened my eyes. Damn! Why am I even frustrated? So, what? If he's busy, let him be busy with something else. At least, I've got a whole day without him.

"We have our gig, wanna come?"

"Where?"

"You know when we get there. Get in," he commanded. "Grab some food. We still need to pick Hander in their school," he said as soon as I sat in.

"Loud?" I asked. "I mean, I don't want to sing the whole set," I reasoned out though I actually want to know where he is. He didn't even say -- okay, we're quits. I never told him my errands either. Well, he should start telling him before mine.

"He has some important things to do."

"Whatever!" I whispered to myself. "What's more important than me?"

"What did you say?" Jacquer turned to me for a second.

"Nothing. I'm taking a nap," I pulled the seatbelt and closed my eyes.

I fall asleep thinking of ways on how to possibly unlove Lauyton.

I woke up with Hander's husky voice. "Good morning, Gabriella! Finally!"

I wiped the sides of my mouth and looked around. I adjusted to the lights and realized we are at an airport. "What are we doing here?"

Hander opened the car door and pulled me outside. "It's a beach wedding in an isolated island, so we are going to ride a copter."

"Omg! Are you serious?"

"Let's go!" Jacquer shouted.

"Wait, wait," I protested. "I really like to go but tomorrow is my best friend's birthday-"

"We promise to bring you back after dawn, okay?"

"Uhm, how about Lou-- nothing. Let's go!" I grabbed Hander's hand and run to the copter as the wind gushed around my body.

Why am I even thinking of Loud? It's his fault for missing this night with me. Duh!

I wanted to enjoy the scenery as we flew above - that is what I was supposed to do. But, I smelled something that made me weak.

And, when I woke up, it was the familiar smell of chocolate that lingered on my senses.

My hands searched for my phone. Then I realized it wasn't the same fabric I'm used to every day. I panicked, immediately got up, and rubbed my eyes.

As soon as I adjusted to the lights, I heard an explosion above that almost took my breath away.

FIREWORKS!

DAMN! IT'S FREAKING FIREWORKS! OMG!

I blinked and even pinched myself because I thought I was dreaming, and I don't want to wake up if this is a dream.

"It's beautiful," I gasped. "Damn! I thought--"

I stopped when I felt Loud's presence behind my back. My heartbeat felt like exploding any minute as he placed both of his hands on my shoulder and whispered, "You are beautiful."

He smelled like brewed coffee. I want to wake up each day.

My mouth tried to say something, but words got stuck somewhere that all I could do was enjoy the moment with him. I was scared that my words would ruin this special night. And, I somehow cursed myself because I knew I could no longer unlove him. My heart already found him, and no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't let him go.

"Did you like it?"

"H-how did you know about fireworks?" I stammered.

Damn! Stop blushing, Gabriella!

I closed my eyes and inhaled.

"I don't only know about fireworks. I also know that you like this."

He counted one to three and left me in awe as the lantern around us started to glow one by one like a domino.

I stood up and almost screamed upon seeing we're in a treehouse on top of a hill. I was so occupied by his senses that I didn't even bother looking around.

"Omg! You gotta be kidding me!" I said, still feeling ecstatic.

"I'm not kidding you, Gabby." He held my hand and kissed the back of my palm. "I told you I love you. We're not a couple, but it doesn't mean I can't express my love for you."

I melted like a bar of chocolate when he stared at me. I tried to avoid his gaze and focused my eyes on the fireworks that are still making the whole night glow. But, who could focus when Loud is staring at me like I am some kind of treasure he can't let go.

"You're not going to react or say something or argue?" He eyed me suspiciously.

I chuckled a bit. "Let me enjoy the moment. Don't ruin it. Pretend that we are a couple enjoying this lovely date."

"Why can't we be a couple?" he frustratingly asked.

"Because we will never end up forever, so it would just ruin everything, like this night," I sadly replied.

"How did you know we will not end up forever without even trying?"

"I just know," I mumbled.

"Then, keep this for me." He opened my palm and handed me a small ring box. "Wear it as soon as you decide to try a long-time relationship with me," he smiled.

"I might not be wearing it."

"You don't know that," he winked. "Oh, they run out of fireworks."

I stared at the cloudless sky and smiled. I could still feel the burning sensation inside my chest. If only I could stay here forever and forget about tomorrow.

"But, don't worry, I still have this."

He counted one to three.

I now admit that Loud will never fail to amaze me, nor will he never fail to give me glow. I only pray that he will not wear himself out for giving me so much of what he also needs.

The lanterns started to light the whole place, one by one, forming a heart shape. Jacquer and Hander started playing the instruments as Loud started singing my favorite song, Miracle.

***Sometimes the stars decide

To reflect in puddles in the dirt

When I look in your eyes

I forget all about what hurts***

I closed my eyes, quietly listened to him, hummed once in a while until he finished singing the song. We didn't converse into a conversation after that, we just sat there, stared at the sky, and felt our heartbeats talking to each other.

Sometimes, I don't need someone to talk to. I just need someone who would sit with me, and feel the solitude together. And, Loud made me realize that despite his zestful, high-spirited, noisy, naughty, sometimes rude, and even manipulated character, there's this child in his heart that is craving for some serenity, just like me.

"C'mon, I need to see Zee and celebrate with her," I said as I looked at my silver watch.

"Can it wait? Let's wait for the sunrise, please," he pleaded. "Just a few minutes. Jacquer and Hander are still having breakfast. Please!"

I rolled my eyes. He's using his charm against me, and damn! I shouldn't fall for that, but he's just too attractive for me. Why is he glowing like that? He's not even an angel. Damn that smile!

"Fine."

"Yay!" He acted like a kid.

It was minutes before the rising of the sun. Loud was counting while I was picking some flower on the side when a helicopter whirled above us.

I stopped and shouted when a man jumped on it. I cursed and closed my eyes because I don't want to see a dying body. Is he crazy? Why jump from a height like that?

"Hey, what was that bro?" I heard Loud speak after the disturbing noise from the helicopter engine was gone. "Jumping from that height? That's amazing without a parachute. You just used a grapple hook, right? I wanna try that."

"It's not the time to be amazed, what if he--"

I stopped when I heard a familiar voice I almost forgot existed.

"Gab."

"What are you doing here?" I raised an eyebrow.

He titled his head a little like he used to do whenever he is thinking. I smelled the chocolate fragrance brought by the wind as he slowly walked towards me.

"You're Zee's fiance, right?" Loud questions.

Zee's my high school best friend and Aae was actually our classmate too. Apparently, he is also Zee's fiance because of an arranged marriage, so Zee never really loved him. Zee fucking loves Zack which is miles apart right now, so she's living miserably obeying her parents' decisions just to pursue her dreams. Well, that's another long story to tell.

"Don't tell me something that would make me hate you more than I am feeling right now," I seriously glared at him.

"Zee..." Aae took a deep breath. "committed suicide."