Chapter 97: Chapter 97

Chapter 97 You've changed

"You've changed." I whisper.

"I've what?" He exclaims.

"You've changed." I say, a little bit louder, "You've changed because you've learned to listen to the voice of your conscience. That's a good thing, Colton. In many ways, your conscience can save you from getting yourself into more trouble."

He grumbles. "I understand that. I'm just frustrated because I wanted to do it. He deserved it and he deserved to die by my hand. I wanted to avenge myself from what he's put me through but he seemed so different, almost like he's changed."

"Change? Are you sure it was change you saw or utter fear when you held him at gunpoint? Looking death in the eyes can make even the worst people spew words of honey." I reply.

Can a man such as Colton's father really be capable of change? He abused his son in many horrific, violent ways and then to top it off, he sold Colton, an innocent, precious six year old boy for a few more beers.

How can evil like that ever be completely wiped from one's heart?

Colton runs a hand down his face, squeezing his eyes shut. "He got on his knees in front of me and even offered me to kill him. I don't even know anymore, I'm just so angry."

I don't know, either. Nobody could ever know Colton's dad's intentions tonight, no human could ever know his heart or thoughts. Somebody like him couldn't ever be trusted, that I know.

I reach across and grab Colton's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I don't know, Colton. I wish I had all the advice in the world but I don't. I wish I had some sort of a magic wand I could wave and make things all better," I smile, looking over at him and seeing the twinkle in his eyes, "But I don't. I think it's very brave of you to march all the way over there in the darkest hours of the night and confront him. I don't think I could ever muster up the courage to do what you've done tonight - and then your display of self control and mercy upon a man that doesn't deserve such luxuries - I don't think I could've handled the situation how you handled it, and.....I'm proud of you."

"D-do you really think that? That I did the right thing?" He asks, already doubting himself.

"I do. I do with all of my heart because revenge gets you nowhere. It's a deadly game that wreaks havoc on your own heart and soul, attacking you from within and spreading its dark poison like a contagious disease." I reply, letting my passion leak through.

He looks back up at the ceiling, I know he's still struggling with his actions.

"Seeing you falling down the cliff of destruction is the last thing I want to see. I couldn't even imagine if you got caught one day and got locked away for life in prison." I add.

He lets out a loud breath and turns to face me once more. "You're right, Lily. You're right. You're really good at speaking, you know that?"

I chuckle. "Sometimes I let my heart do the talking."

"You should do that more often."

After those words left his mouth, he inched closer to me and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I smiled, feeling wanted again - like I belonged finally. I was pleasantly surprised with his gesture, and tingles erupted on my skin where he touched.

His chin rested atop my head and I was curled into his side. He hugged me closer to his body, the feel of his body against mine also sparked another feeling.

A feeling and desire that I had thought died along time ago that I'd believed I'd never get back.

Lust.

It was small, but it was there.

But I ignored it and instead enjoyed this special, rare moment between two broken people.

Two broken people that together, are slowly finding their way back into the world, one step at a time.

They call it antisocial personality disorder. There are many symptoms to this disorder, and I stare wide eyed, not knowing a clue about something like this as the psychiatrist rambles on and on about Colton's condition.

Colton sat next to me - still and unmoving. He doesn't seem to react, he just stares blankly, as if there's nothing left in his eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his chair.

"Though there are many symptoms, Colton displays about three of them. Two of his symptoms includes aggression and tendencies to fall into criminal behavior. He has told me he has had issues with the law and I've been told that he is easily agitated and gets angry fast. Do you believe this to be correct?" Thy psychiatrist asks, scratching his chin with the end of his pen and leaning forwards ever so slightly. His pale blue eyes looking at me for confirmation.

I nod. "Yes, that is correct." This wasn't the first session Colton has been to. Two months. Two months of therapy and two months of healing for the both of us.

Colton works hard, I see the effort he pours into his life so that he may turn it around. I see the effort he pours into me and the affection he shows me.

It's little, but it's there.

Colton also has PTSD, I do as well, too. We were first diagnosed a couple months ago, but we've been working together to overcome the nightmares and pain from the past.

Some days are worse than others, but each day seems to be brighter than the last. This is the first session I've been to with Colton, and I realized that both mine and his problems are similar in many days.

He expressed how still to this day, being touched by others sends painful chills down his spine. It reminded him too much of his own trafficking days - when he was just a child in the arms of horrific, evil people who abused him physically, sexually, and mentally.