Chapter 29: Chapter 29

Chapter 29 Sealed

I sit in Jordan's simple living room, waiting for him to tell me about his plan. I'm undeniably nervous, and I try to distract myself by glancing around Jordan's home.

It's simple and on the smaller side.

Which I find different.

Jordan is obviously rich, yet he doesn't live in a mansion filled with all the riches the world has to offer.

Everything is beautifully simple; from the paintings on the wall to the little spider plant that sits in a plain pot by the little square window with little beige curtains.

Most rich people seem to buy more cars than they can count and several large houses that one can easily get lost in.

But Jordan lives simply.

Jordan walks in the room, and sits down on the reclining chair across from me.

"Jordan...your house is so..different." I think aloud.

Jordan chuckles. "Yeah...I like simple things. Plus I don't really need a big house. My sister lives in her college's dorms so it's just me that lives here."

"Interesting. That's different compared to most well off people...." I say.

"Yeah, I guess I'm not like most well off people then. I'd rather save my money for things that I will need." Jordan says, smiling.

"Makes sense....I guess some people don't have enough self control. When a large sum of money is placed in their hands, they go crazy and buy anything and everything." I tell him. I've seen it too many times before.

Jordan nods his head. "Yeah, I don't have a problem with people spending their money, but I guess that kind of life is just not for me. I'd rather save it for things I need. Of course, I do buy some things that I want here and there. I gotta have a little fun, after all."

I nod my head and smile as Jordan continues to talk.

"Now....about this plan that Katelin and I have set in place."

"Wait, you talked to Katelin about this? How is she? Is she worried?"

"Katelin is holding on. As you can imagine, this is stressful for her, as her brother is breaking apart and her friend is missing. But otherwise, she's staying positive for this plan to work." Jordan tells me.

I nod. "So, this plan...."

"Yes, so what Katelin and I have in mind is writing a letter."

"A...letter?" I scoff, "Like he's some sort of elementary pen pal? I betrayed an angry gang leader and you want me to write a letter?"

"Uh-"

"What am I supposed to say, Jordan? 'Dear Ace, I'm sorry for betraying you and breaking what was little left of your heart, hope you don't put a bullet in my head, love you xoxo buh-bye?'" I say sarcastically.

"Well, not exactly." Says Jordan, cracking a small smile.

"Then what am I supposed to say?"

Jordan shrugs. "That you want to talk, that you care for him, and other mushy girl stuff?"

I raise an eyebrow and sigh. "Alright, well lets say I do write this letter. How are you going to give it to him without him getting suspicious?"

"I can just say that you dropped it while I was chasing you. It's believable because, well...he's been sending me out looking for you." Jordan says.

"Okay then, I guess it's worth a shot. But....what if he decides to kill me when I go to talk to him?" I ask.

I feel nervous and tense about this already. I haven't seen him in so long...let alone talk to him. He's going to be so angry with me. The next time I see him, it might just be the last.

And I'd be okay with it.

Death would bring an end to my nightmares and suffering.

A sad look appears on Jordan's face, and he looks down at his feet for a moment before speaking.

"Well, you're going to have to face him eventually. He's a powerful gang leader, after all. And when a gang leader gets angry at someone, there's really no where to run."

"You're right....and I might as well get this over with." I say, letting out a deep breath. I've been even more anxious and sleep deprived, and I think it's because my conscience has been torturing me, which keeps me up at night.

Maybe talking to Ace will end it all.

"Let's write the letter now." I say.

And so it begins....a plan formed in a simple letter that will either save me or be the death of me.

Just when I thought my life couldn't get any crazier, it always proves me wrong.

Always.

* * *

"Okay, it is done." I say, dropping my head in my arms and closing my exhausted eyes. It's been a few hours, countless pieces of paper, and many snapped pencils but I've finally finished. Crumpled, ripped papers of several drafts I have written lie in ruins around me.

Pencils that have been snapped in two lay on the floor lifelessly, never to be used again. Little pink eraser particles coat the table like pink snow, and the pencil that is still intact has the eraser on the end flattened down to the nub.

My hands are cramped and my brain is fried.

And my fingers seem to be permantely weaved into my messy hair that is sticking up and sprawled all over the place from constantly tugging at my roots.

But I did it.

I finally did it.

My fingernails are worn done to the nubs, but I did it.

I just finished the letter that will either be the literal death of me or be my savior.

How contrasting.

How morbid.

Jordan walks in with yet another steaming cup of coffee and chocolate to keep me awake. And when he sees that my letter is done, he raises both his eyebrows and stares at me. He gestures with his head, as if to say, finally finished?

I push my letter towards him, and he sets down the coffee and chocolate in front of my face.

I sip the steaming cup and enjoy my chocolate in silence as he looks over the letter, in which he nods in approval, making positive grunting sounds ever so often.

"Dear Ace," He begins reading out loud, "I know the last few weeks have been hard for you because they certainly have been hard for me. As you know, I am in a tough position as of now. You believe that I have betrayed you. I did not betray you by choice, and now that I reflect upon it, I'd rather continue being tortured to death than to live with this everlasting guilt that has been suffocating my heart. If you would like to talk, meet me in the Philadelphia alley off highway 49 at 10:00 PM in two days, and I will explain all. My life is in your hands --Dakota."

"So....what is your opinion on it?" I ask Jordan as I yawn, my eyes threatening to flutter closed for the night.

"Well, I think it's great. It's exactly what he needs to hear. He will be enraged at first but lets hope he can find some sort of understanding in his heart. I will give it to him as soon as I can." He says.

Jordan seals up the envelope, and tucks it away in his pocket.

"Do you think this will really work?" I ask Jordan through worried eyes.

Jordan sighs. "I hope so...but I guess there's only one way to find out."

And so that night, I lie in bed awake.

Awake like I do nearly every single night.

It's a funny thing when I'm so exhausted, yet I can't sleep.

I can't sleep because of the nightmares, the past, and the guilt that refuse to let me go and set me free from their strong, cold arms.

I'm fighting a fight that I cannot fight alone.

How much longer can I go on until the guilt and the pain just suddenly eats me alive?

How much longer can I handle this?

How much crap can I take before I just decide to give up once and for all?

Because I'm tired. I'm tired of all this complicated stuff that keeps me up at night. I'm tired of the trauma, and the fears, and the nightmares, and the guilt that eats me away slowly and tears at my soul.

I sigh and stare up at the blank ceiling which provides no comfort for my rampant thoughts. In just two days I will be meeting Ace again. I will see him face to face.

How I will react, I don't know.

Will I crumble to my knees and beg him for mercy?

Will I cry out to him in lamentation as I explain to him my mistake?

Or will a simple apology suffice?

Maybe I won't be able to speak at all as I gaze upon his cold face.

I sigh into the pillow and close my eyes. Even though I may look asleep, my heart is drumming ferociously in my chest for what is to come. And that night, just like all others, is restless and full of ghosts from my past that haunt me in the dark.

* * *

The cold, bitter wind nips at my skin and runs through my hair, causing the strands to go flying. I hug my coat tighter around my body as the cooler air seems to wrap me up like a blanket, keeping me frozen in its chilly arms.

My nose and ears are like ice, and my labored breathing comes out in cloudy puffs that curl around my face before vanishing in thin air.

The alley is dark and cold. The walls on either side of me are towering, and seem to close me in in an attempt to suffocate me and weed me out.

Puddles are scattered throughout the hard ground, and rats and possums lurk in the shadows, nibbling on whatever trash and dead animals they can find. I can hear their high pitched squeaks and munching as they rip apart trash and rotten flesh.

Distant shouts and gunshots ring through my ears, and I can only assume its nothing more than a drug deal gone wrong.

I shiver.

Not because I am cold.

No, I shiver because I hear nearing footsteps.

Footsteps that are slow, cautious, and steady.

They come like the gentle undulation of rain on a roof during a storm.

And then the storm picks up, soon loudly pounding the roof with its tears.

My eyes widen as I see black boots appear. I don't dare to look up, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to meet him in the eyes once more. I know it's him. I just know it. I can smell the cologne he always wears. It's that piney, woody scent that smells masculine.

The boots get closer and closer, until they're just about ten feet away from where I stand.

Ace has arrived.

And I'm shivering.

Neither one of us dare to say anything, and we stand there in silence.

It is only when the silence becomes too deafening do I look up.

I look up into the cold eyes of Ace.

Shadows dance across his face, shading some of his sharp features. His dark hair blends into the darkness around us, and his eyes are narrowed at me. His eyes look so cold, tired, distant, conflicted....and I know I did this to him.

I did this to him because of one stupid mistake I've made.

Ace wears a dark jean jacket with a black t-shirt underneath. His pants are dark as well, matching the darkness that swallows us whole.

His calculating eyes scan me over, watching me carefully.

He's making a decision.

A decision between life and death.

And then, the silence is suddenly broken, shattering my ears and cutting the atmosphere like a knife. Chills shoot up my spine.

My heart rate quickens.

"Do you know the punishment for betraying me?" Ace's low voice echoes through the night as I catch a glimpse of his gun in his hand.

I avert my eyes to the ground, knowing very well the punishment.

Death.

"I trusted you, and you broke me, now you must pay the price." He says.

I make eye contact with the metal weapon pointed at me, the unforgiving sound of the gun cocking echoes through the night, locking my life into place.

My fate is sealed.