Chapter 64: Chapter 64

Rosalia shows up twenty minutes later. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun and she’s dressed in an Adidas tracksuit. She looks so much like her mum, it causes my heart to miss a beat.

“Is everything okay, Aunt Nessa?” Her face is full of concern.

She sits next to me and I reach over and place her hand in mine, resting them on my knees.

“You know, I love you.” I try my best to keep my voice levelled.

“Si, I love you too.” Her beautiful eyes are filled with concern.

I bring her hand up to my lips and place a gentle kiss on her hand.

“This decision has no impact on us whatsoever.” I want to reassure her.

“But for me to move on I can’t be with your Uncle.” I let go of her and place the ring box in her hand. “I need you to do this one favour for me and return it to Luca.” Tears prick my eyes and I rapidly blink urging them away.

“He will be guttered, you know he won’t accept that this will be over between you?” She opens the box and admires the ring.

“I don’t want this life, Rosalia.”My eyes flick to the ring and a sad frown crosses my face.

“I understand, this life is full of loss and terror.” Her eyes start to water and she snaps the box closed.

“I’ve lost too many people in my life that I love and care for. I'm just so thankful that you didn’t make that list too. But I am sorry for the little cousin I never got to meet. I'm so.. Sorry, Aunty!” Tears stream down her face and her lips tremble.

I pull her in for a tight hug and I let the tears I was holding backflow down my face.

“I’m sorry, too babe.” I cry out. “We have lost so much over the years, it just doesn’t seem fair.”

“Si, too much loss.” She stands and looks down at me. “I’ll return the ring.” Her words are laced with sympathy, but her body radiates determination.

After Rosalia leaves the room, I flick through my contacts and block Lucas number, a tsunami of calls and messages are bound to come crashing through in the next hour or so. If I’m going to stick to my guns, I can’t have him saying things that will have me changing my mind on a whim.

I've survived through so much loss and heartache already, I'm pretty sure I can survive this too.

*********

I wake up to someone thumping loudly on the front door, I slowly drag my painful body off the bed and grab my robe off the door. I hear movement in the living room with hushed noises being made. I slightly jerk open the door.

“Where is she?” His voice was deep and it trembled.

“She’s resting. Cant this wait till later?” Chrissy says to him.

“NO! Did you know she sent her ring back with Rosa?” He sneers.

Chrissy gasps. “No, I didn’t.”

“Well she did and I want answers.” I can hear him starting to pace.

A classical Luca move when he’s beyond frustrated.

“I'm sorry, Luca, I am. But, if Nessa has made her choice you’re going to have to learn to accept it. You can’t force her to marry you, especially now.”

“I will wait until she rises.” He says gruffly.

“Luca..”

I can hear Chrissy’s frustration through her words, in all fairness, this is between Luca and me. I knew he would eventually show up, he always does. I just wish it wasn’t twelve hours later.

I open the door and make my way to the living room. He must’ve sensed me the moment I entered, He instantly turned around and faced me. I look him up and down, I've seen many versions of Luca, but this is a new one.

Under his eyes held dark circles, his jawline was covered in stubble, and his hair looked like he had combed his hands through it too many times, and his clothes had creases in them. I grab the bottom corner of my robe and start to twist it tightly in my hands. Luca looked like he had been to hell and back.

He looks exactly how I feel.

Like death.

“Leave us.” Luca snaps.

“Wha..No!” I look at Chrissy who’s retreating towards the door.

She mouths ‘I’ll be outside.” before she slips out.

“I don’t want to see you?” I stand straight and raise my head meeting his scowl.

“That’s too bad, Mio caro. Because I’m done waiting for you.” His chest rapidly rising and falling.

“I thought I made it clear that there is no more us when I sent your ring back with Rosalia last night.”

“The only thing you made clear... Is that you are out of depth when it comes to me loving you.” He steps towards me and I take one back keeping the distance between us.

“Don’t kid yourself, I’m done, I’m moving on.” My heart pounds rapidly against my chest.

“You’re mine.” He growls looking me up and down hungrily.

A shiver runs down my spine and I wrap the front of my robe tightly around my body.

“I was yours.” I say loud enough for him to hear.“  knowing deep down inside I've always belonged to him.

“You. Will. Always. Be... Mine. No excuses.”  He closes the distance between us, his strides eating up the carpet as he eagerly approaches me.

“Stop!” I scream at him. “Just stop and leave..” I cant deal with him right now.

Luca comes to a halt, his body visually shaking in front of me. The mob found me, they took away my dignity and stole my baby. Every time I think about what happened, I’m reminded of the webs of deceit our relationship was built upon. The secrets, the games, and how easily I submitted to him.

It's over, it has to end between us!  Even if my soul is dying a crippling death on the inside. This isn’t the life I want, it’s not the life I deserve. Jeez, it’s not the life anybody deserves.

I want children and I don’t want to always be looking over my shoulder in constant fear that the mob will find us again. They took one child from me, I’ll be damned if I let them take anymore.

“Sei la cosa più bella che mi sia mai capitata” He says darkly in Italian. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He translates in English.

“Leave damn it, Luca, we are done.” My emotions get the best of me and I fall to my knees trembling.

“Leave, leave, leave, leave...” I continue to scream at him, rocking back and forth with my arms wrapped around my body.

The door fly’s open, Chrissy comes rushing over towards me and wraps me up in her arms.

“It’s time to go, Luca. You’re causing her more damage than good right now.” Conrad says as he steps to the side, telling Luca to leave.

“We're not done, this isn’t over,” Luca grumbles, his eyes never leaving me.

“Nessa says it is. You have to accept her decision and leave.” Conrad moves to Lucas side and rests a hand on his shoulder. “It’s the least you can do after everything she’s been through”

Luca turns his head and faces Conrad. “I lost my baby too.” He snaps. “I nearly lost Vanessa and I thank the gods I didn’t.” His voice is soft and coated in pain.

I look up at him and my eyes land on his with tears continuously filling my eyes.

“Non posso vivere senza di te.” One side of his mouth curls up slightly. “I can’t live without you.”

I turn my face away. His words are emotionally crushing me. “I’m sorry. I don’t feel the same anymore.” I struggle to keep my voice from trembling.

I feel Lucas gaze upon me for a split second before he turns on his heel and walks out the door. The moment Conrad closes the door and I hear the faint sound of it clicking shut I burst out crying.

The man I still love like crazy just told me he couldn’t live without me. The words I’ve wanted to hear for so long and I sent him packing. I start to claw at my chest, the pain is unbearable. My whole body still aches from the attack and now my heart is crumbling into a thousand pieces.

“Breath Nessa. Nessa breath hon.” Chrissy begins to frantically pat me on the back.

“Conrad” She cries out. “Call Sanz and Carlos.” She cries when he gets to her side and my eyes start to roll as everything becomes pitch black.