Chapter 12: Chapter 12

XII

Axel's POV

This goddamned fucking girl.

She is so different and I like it so much that I can't explain it; she has this fire inside of her and I want it, I need her to burn me, to make me feel alive again.

I often reminisce about how we met and how much of an asshole I was. She stood up to me like nobody ever has before, so naturally my first instinct was to threaten her, to eliminate the danger, to show that I'm above her, even though I'm the opposite.

It is her that has a hold on me.

She argues with me when I comment that Michael is a pussy, and butterflies erupt in my stomach.

At least I think those were butterflies, I've never had them before.

Sophia suddenly takes my left hand inbetween her incredibly small ones and starts looking at my tattoos.

"You have so many tattoos." she comments, tracing the small crucifix between my thumb and index finger.

I shrug. "I like them. Don't you?"

She nods. "They look good."

I smile. "I have a lot more under my shirt."

Her eyes light up and she looks me in the eyes. "Really?"

I nod. "Wanna see?"

She looks down at my torso, not sure what to say and I find it very adorable that she is so innocent.

She's probably never seen a dick before.

Or I hope so.

Stop with these lame ass comments, dick. You're being pathetic.

She shruggs and I smile. All the other girls would've torn my shirt off by now. This is very refreshing.

"Here, let me show you." I say and slightly lift her off of me and putting her down next to me.

She gasps as I take my shirt off and her pupils dilate. "You have so many."

I nod and take her hand in mine, slowly leading her through my tattoos and explaining them to her. Sophia runs her hand very sofly through each one and I get shivers as she does so.

"I like this one the most." she says in the end, observing the heart tattoo on my arm.

"Yeah?"

"It's kind of like a reminder that you have a heart, even though I sometimes forget that you do. I think you forget that, too." she says and looks up at me through lashes.

I shake my head. "I don't have a heart."

"How can you say that?" she says, her brows furrowed.

"Because it's true." I reply, meaning every single word.

Sophia shakes her head."You wouldn't be here with me, reading to me and making me feel better if you didn't have a heart, Axel."

I frown at her. "Stop acting like you know me, because you really don't."

Hurt flashes in her eyes and I feel guilty for a second, but it goes away when I remind myself that it is true.

"What if I wanted to get to know you, Axel?" she says, taking my hand between hers again.

This is getting too deep.

"You really don't." I say and rip my hand from hers and furrow my brows. “Look, I really should be heading home.”

She sits up straighter, frowning. “What? Already?”

I scoff. “Well, duh. I've things to do, I don't have the whole day to hang out with you.”

She scrowls at me. “You wanna pretend this isn't because we're talking about something deeper than just weather?”

“We've literally never talked about weather.” I say, running my fingers through my hair.

“That's not the point.” she presses and I sigh and lift her by the hips out of my way so that I can stand up. “Whatever. I'm going home.”

She purses her lips. “You're avoiding this topic, Axel.”

I frown. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“This hearts and stuff. You're avoiding it. Are you scared?”

It takes me a few seconds to get over the fact that she's speaking to me in this way. “Scared?”

“Yeah, are you scared, Axel?”

I force myself to breathe remotely calmly even if I don't feel that way at all. “You're shitting me, right?”

She frowns. “No-“

“You're the one crying and shit because of a fucking gunshot miles away, basically almost going through a panic attack, and I'm the scared one?!” I yell and she rolls her eyes, enfuriating me further.

“You know that's not what I'm talking about-“

I pull on my shoes quickly. “You know what, let's just forget about all of this, let's just forget any of this ever happened okay? You can go find yourself another idiot to read you fucking children's books cuz' I ain't doing it anymore. Don't talk to me in school, don't even look at me.” I shake my head at her, fuming. “Fucking calling me scared.”

With that, I open her window and in half a minute, I'm in my car. I punch the wheel with full force and with one last glance I drive away from her house.