Chapter 33: Chapter 33

RYAN POV

I let out a disgruntled groan, realizing I requested for a wrong file. I tapped on my desk, trying to ease the tension building up in me. I was tired and sleepy. I could feel pangs of pain, keeping me from working properly.

The door opened, revealing Chloe as she walked in with a file.

“Sir, this is the business deal that needs your attention as soon as possible.” I shook my head slightly, trying to be as calm as possible.

Who was she to decide which business deal needed my attention as soon as possible?

“Sir…” She called out.

“Can you just not talk?” I tried to keep my voice down, but obviously, the look on her face explained it. She was shocked.

“I'm sorry, sir.” She quickly apologized.

I raised my hand, halting her from speaking more words.

I quickly performed a breathing exercise, my head resting on my palms as I breathed out gently.

It was very wrong to transfer aggression, especially to Chloe. She had been the best secretary ever. I just can't put into words what I was currently feeling.

“Chloe, clear all my schedule for today. I would like to take a break today.”

“Are you fine, sir? Your schedule for today seems very difficult to change. Can you manage, sir?”

That was it. I hit my fist on the table, annoyed by the more questions I was getting from her. I expected her to understand.

"You would be delighted if I was announced dead, right?"

She jerked backward, her face darting downward. I stared at her, as I felt my anger welling up the more.

“Drop that file and leave. Cancel all schedules today and that is final.” I spoke word for word, before turning my chair to face the transparent glass.

I rested on the chair armrest, the moment the door slammed shut. I closed my tired eyelids trying to bask into sleep, but the constant imaginations I kept having wasn't helping.

Not only that, but I was tired, and sleepy, yet I couldn't sleep a wink. If only Ariel hadn't asked anything about Evelyn, how best I would have been.

I felt my heart and body well up, as I coughed out, tears brimming down my face. My body shook, and to some point I felt I might fall and lose consciousness.

I opened my eyes, unable to close it, the past haunting. I swivel my chair around, coming to face my office. My eyes lingered to one of the books on my table. It was a book I got from one of my therapy sessions in getting over the death of Evelyn.

I thought I had gotten over the guilt I felt for the death of Evelyn, but the opposite was the case. It only seemed to get worse. I am a failure.

With trembling hands, which I tried to get under control, I began reading through. The last time I touched the book, nor to mention reading it, was over a year ago, when my mum forced me into taking up therapy.

As much as I love reading books, I avoided that book like a plague. My eyes widened a bit, as a set of words struck my heart.

'ONE OF THE FIRST STEP OF MOVING ON, IS LETTING GO OF THE PAST'.

At that moment, a thought ran through my mind. And as much as it was a difficult and tricky step to take, I was willing to do it.

ARIEL POV

I spent most of my day in the bedroom. Eating, reading, writing, just to name a few. I was even grateful I ate, and brooding didn't stop my appetite from wearing out.

I also received an apology text from Kathleen. How unbelievable right? I didn't bother paying much attention to the text, as it doesn't seem to be real from my point of view. She probably texted because Nick asked her to.Which meant that it wasn't from her heart. Sighs….

Eva called for me to join her, but I simply told her that I would only join her if she revealed the details about Evelyn to me. She refuted, claiming it was Ryan's right to do that.

In short, I didn't go out with Eva. I was just home all through, hoping in my heart that when Ryan returns from work, he won't ignore me.

I focused on the chapter I was typing, but couldn't concentrate. It was difficult to write, when I knew fully well, there was trouble in paradise.

I rolled my eyes at my use of words. Our marriage isn't actually a paradise or very sweet one per se, but it was worth it, not until I ruined it with my inquisitiveness.

My eyes dropped from my laptop as Ryan entered looking weary, this time more tired. His eye bags had swollen, and he looked as if he hadn't slept for a long period of time.

I quickly stood up, standing beside the bed.

“How are you, Ryan?” I asked, darting my eyes downward, in case he didn't respond.

“Fine.” He simply replied.

That was unexpected.

“How was your day?” I inquired further.

I looked up to notice his reaction, as he simply pulled off his suit, putting it on the chair, close to the door.

“Fair.” He replied, but I wasn't satisfied.

That was the moment I decided to pull a stunt.

“That's good. I'm fine too. Thanks for asking. My day? Oh! It was boring. Just doing the same thing over and over again.” He stopped, as he turned abruptly.

His brows raised slightly, as he gave me a look. My lips twitched into a small smile as he chuckled dryly. I felt my heart skip a bit. His chuckle was deep, kind of.

“What do you think you are doing, Ariel?” He began walking slowly towards me.

I felt stuck in the same position, until he reached my front.

“I want us to communicate.” I stated, as our gaze met each other.

He held my hand, as he pulled me closer. My body melted to his body, as I felt my face hot. His cologne wafted through my nostrils, almost knocking me out of reality!

He sniffed my hair, as his breath fanned my ear, giving me tingles down my body. What is Ryan doing?

“Can we be like this for a minute?” He asked, as I nodded, unable to say a word.

It felt as if my vocal cord had been replaced. My words were stuck to my throat. My thoughts kept muddling together as I pulled Ryan closer. I needed the hug too.

He pulled away after some time. I wasn't confident if I counted the seconds or time, but I was sure it was more than a minute.

He held my hand, as we settled on the bed, close to each other. I held his face, as I looked at him.

“You do not look fine. I apologize for yesterday. I shouldn't have asked.” His middle finger touched my lips, stopping from talking farther.

“It is nothing. You do not have to blame yourself. If you hadn't asked yesterday, I probably would have thought I was doing a great deal in moving on.”

I felt touched, as he spoke. He was really going through a lot.

“I'm speechless.” He shook his head.

“You do not have to say anything. I will do the talking for now.” He drew circles on my right palm, before staring back at me.

“Ariel, can you please help me move on? Help me to get healed.” I nodded, as he smiled.

“Thank you.” He pulled me into a hug again, as I simply embraced him.

It seems he was a hug lover. But my thoughts was wavering. If he wanted me to help him heal and forget the past, does that mean he was willing to like me? Does that also means he would reveal his past to me?

“Ariel.” His breath fanned my ear, as I felt goosebumps.

I let out air.

“Yes.”

“Do you think I have good qualities?” My eyes widened a bit at his question.

“Of course.” I replied.

"I transfer aggression easily. I think I am bad." His voice was rather low, denoting sadness.

At that moment I realized his secretary might have been at the receiving end of what transpired between us the previous night.

"You should not blame yourself for your mistakes. Just work on them. And you have good qualities too." I spoke, hoping to criticize and console him.

“Please tell me.”

“You are caring in the best way. You like justice and would go to any length in getting it. Even when you act like you do not care, you still love, in the best way ever. You are kind. Even when angry, you forgive easily. You are creative and wise.”

I continued rambling, not until I heard a soft snore.

Ryan was asleep! My heart skipped.

I pushed him slightly, allowing him to lie on the bed. His eyes were closed, as I looked at him.

I could not help but keep staring at his lips, which still looked pinkish. I tried to block all possible thoughts, but I couldn't. I drew closer, as I kissed his lips. He opened his mouth, as he let out a moan. I jerked backward, panting slightly.

His eyes were still closed, as I decided it was best I do not disturb him.

Throughout that night, the thought of what transpired between us kept playing on my head. I think I am beginning to like Ryan.