Chapter 90: Chapter 90

I composed myself and sit properly before sipping my coffee.

“When do you plan on telling him about Daeshaia?” she asked in a serious tone.

We always head to this topic whenever we meet but I guess I can’t blame her; she cares for my child. She’s a witness to how my daughter keeps looking for her father. I know even my parents are a witness to how much my daughter longed for a dad of her own and how they are waiting for me to finally tell Daevon about her.

“I'm just waiting for something,” I said in a flat tone and stared on my drink.

“And what is it?'

I stared at the glass wall and let out a sigh.

“I want things to be clear first with Ellaine. It’s been a few weeks but we haven’t talk at all. I don’t know what their relationship status at all,” I explained.

The last time she talked to me, she said she’s in a relationship with Daevon. Even if I do want to ask my husband about it, I couldn’t get enough courage to ask him.

“Are you thinking that you’re being two-timed?” Azaia asked with a serious tone.

I shrugged and look at her.

“It’s not impossible, right?” I asked. “It’s been four years and she’s the one by his side, not me,” I mumbled.

It was Azaia’s turn to let out a deep sigh.

“Do you know why you’re not making any progresses?” she asked without humor and simply smile before looking outside the glass wall.

“You tend to ask and ask and ask but you are afraid to know the answer. You’re exactly the person who makes yourself suffer the most, Ayesha. Even if the man chooses to do a lot of things for you, your brain will automatically counter it because you’re a coward.” It felt like she dropped a bomb in my face. “You’re a coward for being afraid of another heart ache. You’re a coward for not taking any risks at all”

I stood there frozen in place and only stared at my coffee.

“Daeshaia needs a father. Your daughter is already three and close to four years old and yet...” She let out a deep sigh. “Don’t include her into your cowardness, Ayesha,” she finished her words.

After that I couldn’t even response back. She only drank her coffee while still staring from the outside window. On the other hand I was there, repeated thinking over and over.

Maybe it is time that I do make a progress and start it with Ellaine.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I suddenly heard my phone ringing. I saw the caller’s name entitled mommy and so I smiled and answered it.

Mommy…

My daughter’s voice sounded serious and so I creased my forehead.

“Is there something wrong honey?” I calmly asked.

She stayed a quiet for a few seconds over the phone before she started again speaking again.

How long do I still have to wait, mommy?

Hearing her voice like that, I can immediately feel her sadness roaming until my chest. My being started feeling weighted as I bit my lip. Azaia started furrowing her voice at the sight of me.

Is he still busy Mommy?

She asked and so I close my eyes shut.

“Soon honey.. soon. I promise, I'll just talk to him okay? Can you wait a little longer?” I asked.

My daughter fell silent on the other side of the line before I heard her voice again.

Okay, mommy… I love you.

A sad smile roamed my lips. “I love you too,” I said. When I ended the call, I weakly put down my phone on the table. Just hearing that sad tone my baby was making felt like I was being driven by insanity and sadness.

I’m sorry my child if I’m making you wait for so long.

After a while, I saw Azaia standing up.

“I need to go, I have somewhere else to be,” Azaia said to which I slowly looked at her. She hanged her bag across her shoulders.

“We're here Ayesha. No matter what happens, we’re here for you,” she reassured me and walked towards the door of my office. When she was now just inches away from the door, she turned to look at me again. “Cassandra will be here next week,” she informed me to which I looked excited.

“That bitch! She isn’t replying to my messages at all and then she’ll you her plans? Grrr! What is this favoritism?” I complained. Azaia laughed and shook her head.

She then mouthed, “She’s engaged.”

The moment I heard those words, my eyes widened in surprise;

“What the fuck?” I asked in disbelief. I, then eyed her with a serious look on my face. “Azaia,” I called out. She stopped for a moment and turned to look at me again.

I gave her a narrow smile and stared at those same eyes. It’s been four years since I law saw those eyes full of sadness and pain.

“We’re here for you, always remember that,” I said meaningfully before her shoulder rose upward.

“I know,” she said sincerely and finally left my office.

I turned my gaze towards the glass window again and let my thoughts fly through.

It seems like we’re all fighting our own demons.