Chapter 37: Chapter 37

JOSEPH'S POV

I must have rolled over a million times, no matter the position, I never seemed to get comfortable. The bed felt as lumpy as my throat. Every time I turned I was facing her window, and guilt twisted in my gut like a bowl of spaghetti. Her night light was on, I knew she had gone to bed, she was sleeping peacefully, not knowing the danger she was in, that I was going to put her in. And she trusted me... She trusts me..

I turned to the other side of the bed, as the other side was drenched in sweat, the place was cool, my air conditioner was turned on, but I was sweating. My hair plastered to my forehead, I had already removed my shirt, but I was still sweating. I cursed.

The sun at me with such intensity, I recoiled into the sofa. I blinked.

"You slept here?" Lucy asked with confusion written all over her face.

I tried to blinked away the sleep that was still embedded into my eye balls. She shifted out of focus as I looked away from her and her terrible bed head to take in my surroundings. I was sleeping in the living room, on the sofa. I remember coming downstairs, and I didn't think I would fall asleep but I did.

"Look at you trying to ruin a good sofa, do you know how much I worked to get this, get your stupid ass off my property." She said eying me.

I sat up, and with the sudden movement came the headache, I held my head between my palms, as I hissed.

"Did you drink?" Lucy asked in confusion.

I glared at her through the corners of my eyes.

She winced before getting me pain killers.

"I could not sleep in my room. It was hot so I came here." I explain in a hoarse voice after taking the meds.

Something in my tone must have made her sit beside me,

"Want to talk about it?"

"I thought I was sick or something... But it was just my conscience, I couldn't sleep next to her room in peace knowing what I'll be doing to her intentionally. I felt guilty.." I say tiredly.

She didn't ask any further questions. She just say still, not saying anything. I looked over to her, dressed in her pyjamas short and one of my T shirts, and her legs tucked under her, she looked sad.

"You knew about it?" I asked not totally surprised if she knew.

She gave a small nod as a response, it was so small I would have missed it if I wasn't looking.

"That's why I lashed out yesterday, I wasn't angry at you, I was angry at me because we can't stop her, something terrible will happen when you leave her there, and it'll be our fault because we knew and didn't stop it." She sounded like she was going to cry.

I wrapped my arms around her. I knew that too, that's why I could not sleep, because I knew that anything could happen, but because I can't stand up to her, because I am a pussy... It will happen to her anyways.

We stayed that way for about fifteen minutes. Before Lucy rewound back to her big sister mode and pushed me away.

"You stink of sweat, don't hold me down to you like that I'm far older than you." She said going into the kitchen.

"Yeah? And you have bad morning breath." I say before taking off, I heard her gasp but didn't chase me, she just cursed me out. I chuckle before opening my room door.

I was shocked to find her out of her room, and not nose deep into her cell phone, I was shocked she was standing in my room. Like a normal mom. She was holding clothes. In that moment, I imagined she was a normal mom, I imagined she was coming here to tease me about going on a date, I imagined she picked out those clothes for the date because it would bring out my 'good side'. But she was not a normal mom, a normal mom would not ask her son to do this to someone else's daughter. A normal mom would have been smiling normally, and won't have that crazed look in their eyes.

"I bought you new set of clothes for the occasion."

That's what a normal mom would say. My eyes ran down the clothes. It was all black, everything was black, from the trouser, to the round neck T shirt, and the jacket. Everything was black. Before I could think she assumed that was my favorite color, she made the blood drain from my face.

"So you can blend in with the night and she won't notice you are gone." As she said this she looked... happy.

This was no imagination. This was no normal mom. This was my reality. This was my fuck up mom.

"I want to have my bath." I croaked.

Not wanting to be in her presence, I wanted her to leave my room, this was my sanctuary, and she was staining it. She gave me one last chilling smile before walking away.

I collapsed by the door as she left. I couldn't even cry, I could just stare at the ground. Cursing my luck, cursing dad for leaving, cursing mom for being crazy. Cursing myself for being so so weak.

I couldn't have breakfast. I was in our little garden at the back of the house, trying to take my mind off the task mom bestowed upon me. I had weeded out all the weeds, watered them, taken out the dead plants, there was nothing for me to do anymore, yet I was there.

"Come inside right now." I heard Mom's voice say. I stilled for a hot minute before leaving the garden slowly.

"You have to ask her out. You have to do that." She said like a real life coach.

I had been putting it off, not wanting to remember that I had to do that.

"You have flowers in your make believe garden right? Pick out the finest ones, girls love to be woo'ed with flowers." She said in excitement.

I looked towards Lucy, she was pretending not to hear the conversation. I nodded before going to pick up some flowers for her.

After picking up some butterfly bush, I set out for her house. My heart hammering away in my chest, not the normal guy anticipation, I was worried someone would see through my insincerity.

I only had to knock once and the door flew open, revealing her mom, smiling radiantly.

"Good afternoon ma, is Carrie around?" I asked awkwardly.

Her eyes went to the flowers in my arms, I shuffled from feet to feet in embarrassment. I didn't even wrap them up properly. But she gave me a knowing look.

"Come in come in, don't just stand there." She said while waving me in. I entered the house, regretting the fact that I was still wearing my gardening clothes.

"Carolyn Anderson? Get down here this instant!" Her mom yelled.

I winced but she smiled at me excitedly.

"Honey! You should come too!!"

Before I could say no, everyone was downstairs. Including her friends from school. She was dressed in a pink short and a pink hoodie. Predictable but still very cute. She blushed as her eyes went to the flowers.

"Hi." I greeted.

"Are those for me?!" She asked excitedly.

She rushed to me, collecting them gingerly.

"I know a lot about butterfly bushes, I never thought I'd see them in real life." She examining the flowers. I smiled genuinely.

"You know flowers?"

"She knows a lot about many things and too little about the relevant things." Her sister said from the dinning area.

I wanted to say it and leave.

"Will you come see a movie with me tonight?" I asked in one breath.

Everyone except me seemed to freeze.

"I..uh..uhm.. I'll be doing something with Andrina and Sophie today." She said.

I felt relieved instantly, I was about to blow sky high.

Until.

"No she won't, we can reschedule." Sophie said glaring at her.

"Then uhm.. I'm doing something with mom and dad later." She said again.

I was going to kiss the ground in happiness.

Then.

"That's nonsense, she has nothing to do here, you can take her." Her dad said.

I wanted to die right there.

If only you knew sir... You'd have the police arresting me immediately...

As I walked out of the house, I knew deep in my heart, that I was worse than the lowest of all lows.