Chapter 37: Chapter 37

Josh's POV

"Fuck Jake, why the hell he won’t answer me, please..." I said as I continuously dial his number while I change my shirt.

The moment I saw Jake's message about Samantha going to the airport, I just lost it. I can't let her get away from me. Not this time.

My mind is going crazy and I'm sure that my chest is about to explode any minute.

Just the mere thought of not being able to see her forever still gets me. You see, I tried that that idea but all I can say is that it all backfired. To be honest, I know I had been so stupid.

If we break up now, I'll leave...away from you, away from everybody else...And I won't be coming back. I won't go back.... at least not for you, not to you...

I close my eyes as I remember in my mind what she said that night and it keeps coming back to me her whole reflection, her sad face and crying eyes.

I broke her. I made her cry. I let her go... just because I was so stupid.

Why did I even thought that breaking up with her is a good idea?

I am at my happiest when we were together. And now, my heart just feels so empty.

I can't even smile the way I used to. I can't even throw a Dad's joke with my fans and they knew that something is wrong.

I thought getting away from her will actually be for the better. I thought that if I let her go, our fans will stop hating her... that if I let her get away from me, she won't get hurt about everything that she'll see on the media.

I know that dating an idol like me is tough. She'll constantly get a lot of hate. Her face will always be plastered on articles. Whatever she does, some people will find fault on it. She will lose her privacy and will earn so many negative things instead of good ones.

During that time that I saw her almost die, my soul almost left my body. She had been upset before that happened, of course, mainly because of me. I know she cried when she saw me with Ara. And then, a lot of articles came out.

She had been a lot. Everything that had happened to her were all because of my stupidity. And I can't let another disaster happen because of me.

So I fucking let her go. I let go of the person I love dearly.

I let her go even after she tried to reach out to me.

I let her go after she tried to show that she's okay even after I had hurt her.

I let her go even after she begged that I stay.

I let her go even after she gave me a lot of chance to be with her.

And now, my heart is shattered to pieces.

This whole fucking week was a disaster. I tried my best to forget her but I felt more miserable as days passed by.

The boys keep sending daggers at me and Jason kept coming to my room and asking why I did that.

Haiden doesn't even want to see my face. Vash was so mad that he slammed the door on my face last night when I knocked on their room. Jake had never disrespected me before but I hurt her sister so what can I expect?

And earlier, Yohan lost it when he saw the articles about me and Ara. Yohan punched me really hard. The other boys would have probably done the same if I wasn't older.

To be honest, I probably needed it because my mind is a mess.

The article is not true. Screw Oragon News.

That night, I was in a bar where most celebrities and rich people comes. It was a private place so I wasn’t really so worried about going there because there are a lot of artists that goes there anyways. I don't even know why I came to one when I don't usually drink. But I was so lonely and my mind is thinking a lot of things so I drink. At one point, I got so drunk and a random girl started kissing me in the neck.

My mind isn't thinking straight so I let her. And I was probably imagining that Samantha was with me that time. My mind kept thinking about her.

I don't even remember what happened but the next thing I knew, Ara was with me and was scolding me for being drunk. Apparently, Ara realized what's happening and shooed the girl away, saving me from a larger scandal.

She even helped me get home that night.

I was so out of myself, I didn't even thank her properly, I had to meet her the next day to properly thank her and apologize. I don't even know that Oragon News was tailing us. I felt more apologetic that Ara was included on this mess when all she did was help me.

That night when Ara drove me home, my members saw me. Jake saw the hickeys I never even knew were in my neck and went ballistic. He started hitting me. Me being drunk didn't even think and punch back until the boys tried to break us apart. And of course, that's Jake and I saw basically all drunk, he's stronger than me so I ended up getting a lot more punches, my face got bruised.

I didn't even realize that Samantha was trying to break us apart as well and I accidentally pushed her.

I don't know what I was thinking. Instead of helping her, I even pushed her away.

I can still remember her stained cheeks; I was sure she'd been crying herself to sleep.

And that's when I let her go. I don't know how but I took that chance to break things apart.

But what I did not only broke us apart. I ended up breaking myself, hurting her more and losing even my members in the process.

I disregard the thought. I need to do something right now. I have to fix this.

I ran outside and saw my members all sitting in the couch in the living room. It has been days since we went back to our dorm.

Though a little afraid because of the tension with us these past few days, they're actually all I've got now.

"Guys, I'm sorry, but I really need your help right now." I said to my members, desperation eating through me.

Yohan just raised his eyebrows at me and nobody responded.

No. I can't just give up.

"Can anybody reach Jake for me. He's not answering my calls." I said, my voice cracked a little, my emotions getting ahead of me.

"Are you expecting him to just talk to you after what you did to his sister?" Vash said, his voice a little indifferent.

"Yep. You broke her heart, pushed her away and literally pushed her as well. Did you know that her back was bleeding that time and she was sick for a week because of you?"

My eyes went wide with what Rome said. My heart started hammering inside my chest. Just the thought of it pains me. How the fuck did I do that to her?

Fuck!

"I didn't know..." tears started to form on my eyes.

"Stop this act if you'll chicken out in the end. Let her go and move on if you're not planning to stay with her forever. Give her a break. That's the best thing you can do." Jason added.

"And we won't let you make her cry again anyways." Haiden said. I've never seen him this mad.

I really messed this up.

My knees gave up, I ended up kneeling on the floor. My conscience eating me alive.

"I can't. I love her. I don't think I can live without her."

"Tssssss." Vash snickered.

"Please, I need your help. Just this once." I pleaded, my tears already flowing.

I know I look pitiful right now but I don't care. I need to find her.

My members just looked at me and I can see their face soften a little.

"I don't think we can help you this time. Jake is already on his way to the airport and we don't even know what her flight info is."

I look at Jason, a little grateful.

"But I need to see her. We need to do something." I said out of desperation.

I don't know how I can find her myself.

"Don't even think about pulling your authority in here because you are the oldest, after this you butthead. I can't believe we're helping you." Yohan said as he stood up from the couch. Then, the rest followed.

I stood up as well, my knees a little shaky. I haven't been eating a lot lately.

"Our manager will kill us after this and you, better prepare. There's only one way to find her in instant." I look at Rome a little confuse.

"How?"

Rome and the rest of the members smiled. "Our fans"

I smiled. Of course. I can't believe I'll be asking for help to the people I thought would harm her in the end.

Why had I been so stupid. Of course our true fans will love her.

I hope I'm not too late.

Samantha, wait for me.