Chapter 42: Chapter 42

JAYDEN

I caress Bella's hair and she smiled. I was willing to tell her everything she needed to know about me. I wanted her to know that I trust her. I also wanted her to trust me too and tell me everything I need to know about her too. I wanted our relationship to be built on trust. "Do you want to know why I kept my distance away from my mom?" I asked

She nodded. "Yes, I do. I have been meaning to ask you about it but I don't want to push you away"

I smiled. "You know I won't do that"

"You won't do that now but if it was then. I mean before we became this close, you would have yelled at me"

I chuckled. "Of course I would have. That would be poking your nose into others business "

She laughed and poked me. "You know I don't poke my nose into people's business"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think that's true"

She frowned. "I don't do that, you know"

"Well, it doesn't look like that. I can't still remember when you visited the graveyard. You kept asking me so many questions. It was so annoying. And even when I yelled at you, you wouldn't budge. When you ask me to follow you and I said no, you did not let me be. Instead, you drag me with you"

She smiled. "That's what makes me special"

I rolled my eyes. "No, you are so annoying. She frowned. Did you just say I'm annoying?"

"No. Can I ever say that?"

She pouted. "But you said it"

"Of course not. Don't you know that you're the best girlfriend in the whole wide world"

"I am not your girlfriend, ok?"

"Well, I see you as mine"

"I haven't..."

"You don't have to say it. I take your silence as a yes"

She chuckled. "You're so annoying"

"That's the reason you love me"

She placed her head on my chest. "Do you know why I love you?"

I furrowed my brows. "No"

"Because..." She began her suddenly stopped. She placed her hand on my chest, caressing it. "Because..."

"Just say it already. You're making me curious"

She raised her head to stare at me. "Why do you think I love you?"

I shrugged. "I can't say"

"Why do you suddenly love me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because I realized I might lose you to someone else so and you will stop loving me. And if you stop loving me, my life will stop"

She batted her lashes. "Are you serious?. I mean is that what you thought when you saw Jake?"

"I never said I was losing you to Jack. Or did I?"

"No, you didn't. But it's just making sense now. You told me you love me after Jack's visit. I had been wondering why you had a sudden change of mind. Now I know"

"That isn't the reason why I had a change do mind"

She laughed. "You said you were afraid you might lose me to someone else. Jack is the only guy you've seen me with. Who were you afraid to lose me to if not him?"

"The..."

She glared. "The secret admirer is just recent stuff. Don't you dare call him"

I chuckled. "I was never going to call him. I was about to say something different but since you mentioned him. Why don't we talk about him?"

"Don't you think we have deviated from the real discussion?". I furrowed my brows. "You were supposed to tell me why you've been keeping distance from your mom"

I groaned slightly. I have forgotten totally. I tend to enjoy our new discussion, I did not remember I was about to tell her that. I sighed. "She broke my father's trust"

She furrowed her brows. "How did she do that?. Did she... Nevermind. Just tell me what transpired"

I knew she wanted to ask a question. A question that must have been eating her up for a long time but she stopped herself from asking because she is afraid I might flare up. I wanted to tell her not to worry. That she can ask me whatever question she has and I will try to answer the questions to my best knowledge. But I decided to respect her decision not to ask. "I have always thought my parent's love for each other was the sweetest of all" I began. She adjusted herself, listening with keen interest.

"I grew up learning from how much they love each other. How much they trusted each other. I could tell, that their love was real. They treated themselves with so much love and respect. I see the kind of love I wanted when I grow up in them. I should rather say I saw. I saw the kind of woman I wanted in my mother. And I strive to be like my father when it comes to love. I thought everything would remain this way and I loved it"

I stared at her to be sure she was listening. When I was sure she was listening with keen interest, I continued. "We would go out together to have fun. And anytime I watch my dad shower love on my mom and my mom showering love on my dad, I feel so happy. I couldn't thank God, less for giving me a happy family"

I smiled. It was one of the beautiful memories I loved and will never forget. She smiled too. "That must have been one of your best times with your parents"

I nodded. "It was. Not just one of the best but the best itself"

She nodded. I placed my hand on her face. "But you know, good things don't last forever"

"What changed?. Your mom? Or your dad?"

I sighed. "At first, I thought my mom changed. I thought she stopped loving my dad. Maybe she's seeing someone else, I thought. There were so many thoughts in my mind and I couldn't ask them what was wrong. When I finally gathered up the courage to ask, she said everything was fine. My dad said the same thing too. But I day, I overheard them talking. They had thought I had gone to the studio which of course I did but had to come back when. I realized I left my headset. I returned home to pick it and that was when I heard them"

My eyes were becoming teary, so I had to pause to put myself together before speaking up. "My dad was diagnosed with cancer and was already in stage three. He had very limited time to leave. About six months, I guess. My dad had told her to keep it a secret from me. I just got admitted to school after declining my admissions for so many years. He was afraid I might decline again if I find out he was going to die. He said he wanted me to be responsible. Mom agreed to keep it a secret from me so I could go to school"

I sighed. "Dad also told her to keep it away from families and friends. He said he do not want to be a burden to anyone. He trusted her enough to keep it safe but she broke his trust and told his boss. My mom denied being the one who told his boss. A heated argument erupted and I couldn't bear to watch it. I was yet to recover from the shock that my dad would be dying soon. I left them and was devasted for so many days"

She held my hand and I sighed. "Some days later, another fight erupted. This time, my dad accused my mom of having an affair with his boss. She denied it. Instead, she told dad his boss was only willing to help him out. He has told her there was a cure and he won't have to die. I was so angry mom believed my dad's boss. I left the house because I was so angry. I wished I never did. When I returned, everything looked normal but I had a feeling something was wrong"

I stared at her. "The home which was once filled with happiness became desolated. Everyone faced his business not bothering about the person to him. I thought everything would return to normal soon. I left for school a week later, hoping things will be better before I return but I was wrong. My dad died a few days after I left for school. I didn't say goodbye to them when I left for school. I was so angry with them. I wished I did"

I sniffed. "I tried not to blame my mom for it. I felt it was his time to leave us. When I saw my mom and my dad's boss together at my dad's burial, I tried not to read meanings to it. But seeing her get married to him barely a year after my dad's death, I couldn't help but think she lied to him that day"

I couldn't keep the tears from flowing. "She lied about not having an affair with him. If she never had an affair with him. If she wasn't cheating on my dad as she said, why did she give birth, seven months after their marriage?. She killed him. The doctor confirmed he died of heart failure and not cancer. She ended his life before the right time. She didn't let me say a proper goodbye to him. I will never forgive her for that. She..."

Bella pulled me into a hug and sniffed. That was when I realized she was crying too. "Y-you're very strong Jay. Y-you really are strong"