Chapter 33: Chapter 33

I stood rooted to my spot confused about the next step to take. Mira had run off in tears and I couldn't stop feeling bad about it. Seeing Bella walked out on me with disappointment written on her face had added pains to my already wounded heart. Ethan and Dia had left me to face my problem alone. And right now, I am left alone to sort out myself. I scanned through the crowd but could not see Bella. I wondered where she could be. When I got so curious about what her thoughts were on the issue on the ground. My heartbeat increased. "What if she believes Mira's words?" I asked loud enough for a person close by to hear.

There was no one close by, to give me the answer I desired. And even if there happened to someone close, he or she might not understand what I meant and won't be able to give me a correct answer. I groaned. What have I gotten myself into? I thought.

What if she is mad at me? I thought.

"Mad at you?. For what exactly?" My subconscious mind asked. I couldn't five an answer to its question.

Why do I think she will be mad at me? I asked myself. I had only concluded that she might be mad at me but the reason why she would be mind never crossed my mind. But right now, I realized I needed to have or know the reason why she could be mad at me.

"Why do you think she would be mad at you?" My subconscious mind asked again. I brushed my hair backward. "For loving her and not letting her know? For rejecting her love? Or for making her look so stupid in front of the rest?"

I sat down on the bench nearby, my back relaxing on the wood. Why didn't I think of this?. Why didn't I think of how bad she must have felt when Mira said I love. Other girls would have been so happy. But the Bella I know is way too smart and will think of every possibility of it being true and when she thinks everything said is true she will feel really sad. The fact that I rejected her some weeks ago only to be told I have feelings for her is saddening. I won't want her gett7bg the wrong meaning to the words said by Mira.

I stood up. I need to find her and try to explain things to her before it gets too late. I can go after Mire later.

**

I wasn't sure if Bella was angry with me and the fact that she remain mute no matter how much I tried to talk to her made me feel so bad. She tried to avoid me at every chance she got. I kept looking around to see if any of the students had noticed the awkwardness between us. I wouldn't help for feel real bad. Not just for what had happened but also for making her have a change of mood on her birthday. I felt I had destroyed the birthday I arranged if not completely but to some extent. And though everyone seems to be having fun, and Bella's countenance isn't showing any anger, I still could not accept the fact that everything could be fine. Maybe, I am over exaggerating things?. Maybe she is angry but doesn't want to show it? Or maybe Ethan was right. Not the love aspect though but the fact that I am so confused and overthink things.

I had had scenarios of having to deal with two ladies before but dealing with Bella and Mira is quite different. They are both smart ladies who understand even the smallest sign language. I needed to deal with them differently and carefully. I couldn't hurt any of their feelings either and though I knew one of them have to be told the bitter truth, I could not bring myself to choose which of them needed to hear that.

I can not tell Mira that in a real sense, I do not love her and that I only consider her a friend. And for Bella, I can't tell for the second time that I do not love her. I can't tell her what Mira said is a lie. Though I don't love her yet, I have grown fond of her. I love how close we have become. And telling her will only make her move away from me

For Mira, she had been a good friend. One I could always go out with when I am bored. She eased my boredom and I do appreciate her for that. And for Bella, she isn't just a lecturer to me. She had made me understand so many things. Her smiles are morning pills to me. I had always looked forward to seeing her. And I sometimes went as far as stalking her even though I won't admit it. Her dancing skills are awesome and she is the reason I kept coming to the school studio. What about how she loves to scold me?. I brushed my hair backward and groaned. Things had become complicated than I thought. I had never thought I could be in a situation like this. Someone patted my shoulder jerking me back to reality. I turned to see Ethan. "W-what are you doing here?" I asked, shuttering slightly

He sighed. "It's time to go home"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "H-home?". He nodded and I raise an eyebrow. "It's just past 7 pm. Why are we leaving so soon?"

"Miss Bella dismissed the rest"

I batted my lashes. "She did?". He nodded. "Where is she?"

"She has gone home with Dia and Katie

"I am going after her"

He held me. "You shouldn't bother"

"What do you mean?"

"Let her have her privacy, Jay. I know you have a lot you want to tell her but right now, she needs time for herself. And you need to give her that space"

I sighed. "If you say so"