Chapter 46: Chapter 46
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
<Azaria>
I feel envious of the bond my cousins have. My own family and cousins aren't like that, probably because my parents' relationship has always been chaotic, which might be a reason why I'm not close to my cousins.
Why don't I have cousins like them?
Ysabelle is also lucky because she's the only girl in their circle, and I can feel that her male cousins take care of and protect her.
I'm starting to compare my life to hers.
I even got jealous of Ysabelle; maybe she's wealthier than me. She looks young and stylish with her cute outfits, and they suit her well.
Feeling envious is not good, and I should be happy for Ysabelle for what she has and appreciate my life.
I feel envious of the things she has and what I see, but I don't know her silent battles and what she's been through. If I knew about her struggles and hardships in life, would I still feel envious? Probably not.
"You start to appreciate your life when you find out what that person has been through. You realize how lucky you are," that's what Lanvin told me weeks ago during one of our husband and wife talks.
I tried to be content with my life, but I failed many times.
Maybe I should be kind to myself and take things slow. The more I push myself, the more I feel depressed. Life is a journey - what a depressing journey.
I'm starting to reduce my time on social media because what I see there impacts my life. Lanvin was right; I should stop comparing myself and my life to the women I see on social media.
I bought many things, luxury bags, and wasted money on makeup just to make myself beautiful - I did it to impress society, to be called beautiful. However, my husband Lanvin explained to me that women's products are a waste of money and only make the owners of those products rich. Companies target women because people want to be rich, which feeds into women putting on makeup to be beautiful.
"You're beautiful. You don't need makeup; I like your natural beauty, baby," my husband said last night when he caught me stalking a female influencer.
"If wearing makeup makes you confident, go for it. Just don't make yourself insecure because of beauty product advertisements. Companies are eager to make a profit," he clarified.
He even told me about his company and why its target consumers are women.
"What are you thinking? Hmm," he asked.
We are on the airplane, flying VIP to Finland.
"Nothing," I replied.
"It's nothing. You seem lost in your thoughts. Tell me, I'm your husband, I might be able to help you," he said in a deep voice, pulling me closer to him as if he was afraid of losing me.
I couldn't speak.
"If you're not ready, it's fine. Just make sure you're not thinking about other men," he tightened his jaw as he spoke. His eyes also looked dark and intense, making me hold his hand to calm him down.
What you think of yourself is all that matters.
"Don't you trust me?"
"I trust you, baby," he responds.
He kissed my forehead.
I fell silent and hugged him.
~
We are now in Finland, and we are still in Lanvin's hotel.
I'm looking at him while he is working on his laptop. I feel annoyed because he's talking to other women.
I couldn't control myself and approached him.
I touched his shoulder, and he looked at me with a frown.
"Baby," he said softly.
I missed him so much that I felt like crying.
"I just need to finish this," he said. He has said that several times before.
I pulled him slightly. He moved back.
When there was enough space for me to sit on his lap, I did it and buried my face in his neck.
I have been feeling aroused because he has been touching me all morning, even with his cousins around.
He caressed my hair.
"Are you tired?" His voice sounds worried and tired.
"You were seducing me," I said, crying, but I managed to smile.
"I feel my body is in heat," I complained to him, and I hugged him tighter. I looked at him to see his reaction, but I quickly buried my face in his shoulder.
He softly caressed my back.
"If you're not ready, it's fine. Just make sure you're not thinking about other men," he said, tightening his jaw. His gaze turned dark, so I held his hand to calm him.
What you think of yourself is all that matters.
"Do you not trust me?"
"I trust you, baby," he responds.
He kissed my forehead.
I fell silent and hugged him.
~
We are now in Finland, and we are still in Lanvin's hotel.
I'm looking at him while he is working on his laptop. He just finished a meeting. I feel annoyed because he's talking to other women.
I couldn't control myself and approached him.
I touched his shoulder, and he looked at me with a frown.
"Baby," he said softly.
I missed him so much that I felt like crying.
"I just need to finish this," he said. He has said that several times before.
I pulled him slightly. He moved back.
When there was enough space for me to sit on his lap, I did it and buried my face in his neck.
I have been feeling aroused because he has been touching me all morning, even with his cousins around.
He caressed my hair.
"Are you tired?" His voice sounds worried and tired.
"You were seducing me," I said, crying, but I managed to smile.
"I feel my body is in heat," I complained to him, and I hugged him tighter. I looked at him to see his reaction, but I quickly buried my face in his shoulder.
He softly caressed my back.
"If you're not ready, it's fine. Just make sure you're not thinking about other men," he said, tightening his jaw. His gaze turned dark, so I held his hand to calm him.
What you think of yourself is all that matters.
"Do you not trust me?"
"I trust you, baby," he responds.
He kissed my forehead.
I fell silent and hugged him.
~
We are now in Finland, and we are still in Lanvin's hotel.
I'm looking at him while he is working on his laptop. He just finished a meeting. I feel annoyed because he's talking to other women.
I couldn't control myself and approached him.
I touched his shoulder,
He turned me to face him, and I saw desire in his eyes.
"Aren't you on your period?" he asked curiously.
"It's your fault. You were seducing me!" I said childishly.
He chuckled at my response.
"I still have work that needs to be finished, baby," he explained to me.
My face fell at his reply.
"Is your work more important than me, huh?" I said in a sulky tone, almost on the verge of tears.
He chuckled in a seductive manner.
"Of course, you're important. But let me finish this. Please?"
I glared at him.
"You said you love me, but it's not true. You're so busy with your work. You never give me time, and you're cold towards me. You get mad at me frequently. You've abandoned me. Your feelings are fake. Nothing is true," I said, hurt and annoyed, giving him a sidelong glance.
His expression turned serious, and he furrowed his brow.
"I give you time as much as I can. I brought you to the company with me. I need to finish this work, I want you to understand me," he said seriously.
"I know," I whined.
"I really missed you. You're close, yet so far."
"You're on your period," he stated matter-of-factly.
I shook my head.
"I need you," I said sadly.
"I want to feel you. I'm craving your attention. You were giving me divided attention, and I don't like that. I don't feel like I'm important, and I'm special."
"You're on your period. Just a quickie, okay?" he said hoarsely.
I didn't wait for him to say anything else and kissed him passionately. He knew what I wanted.
Dramatics really work.
I didn't waste any time and placed his hand on my chest, and I gasped as his warm palm touched my breast.
He softly massaged my breasts, and his kisses trailed down. I moaned in the middle of our kiss.
My clothes were off in no time.
"Easy, baby," he chuckled.
He quickly buried his face in my chest, and I moaned as he suckled my nipple and gently nibbled on it. His mouth was warm.
He stopped what he was doing.
"Wait, I need to turn off my laptop," he said, so I gave him a sharp look.
He did not finish and went back to what he was doing.
He loves his laptop more than me.
My nipple harden.
His other hand is caressing my other breast to give equal attention.
“H-hubby,” I moaned.
This is his fault. Whenever he wants to have sex he seduces me.
I'm annoyed because he always gets what he wants.
I've been feeling body heat for a few days, we couldn't make love much because we were in the middle of nowhere, and when we got to the hotel we were both exhausted. Plus we are always with his cousins.
I feel something poking me.
He’s always on top and this time I want to be the rider.
I hate this feeling that I’m in heat.
I removed his clothes and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I saw desire in his eyes when he looked at my chest.
He took off everything he was wearing and lay on top of me.
His cock was erect and very hard. I swallowed because it was fat and long - I'm still not used to seeing that buddy of his.
Every touch of his palm on my body gives a unique taste. His kiss makes my body even hotter.
"Ugh.." I moaned and looked up.
"H-hubby," I moaned.
His kiss went down to my stomach until he removed all the rest of my cover.
I want to be shy but the warm body I feel is overwhelming.
I pulled out his hair when he plunged into my sexiness.
"Ohh.. ahh," I said when I felt his tongue.
We did another round until I couldn't make it.
Lanvin ordered food for us and I didn't have to wait because I fell asleep due to exhaustion. It's nice to have a good wife who is good in bed.
I’m throphy wife.
The next morning I woke up to a voice.
"Why don't you let me in, huh?"
That’s Xyrile voice.
I couldn't open my eyes because of exhaustion and drowsiness. My whole body ached, and I felt heavy, unable to move even my fingers.
"My wife has a fever, and she's still sleeping. We couldn't come with you," Lanvin said firmly.
"You two spent the entire night locked in your room. Damn, it's your honeymoon, and you didn't even inform us. We're leaving, are you sure you won't come with us?"
"Why are you so annoying?" I heard Lanvin ask in an irritated voice.
"I'll call you later. My wife is not feeling better," Lanvin added.
"Damn! You just exhausted her!" Xyrile retorted.
"Fuck you!" I heard Lanvin say, followed by the loud slamming of the door.
I heard Xyrile shouting from outside, but Lanvin didn't pay attention to him.
I heard Lanvin's footsteps coming towards my spot, but I couldn't open my eyes or move my fingers.
It seems we went overboard last night.
"Wife, are you awake?" he asked in his baritone voice, and I felt his palm on my forehead.
I groaned to let him know that I was awake and tried to force my eyes open, but I wasn't successful.
"Let's eat our breakfast so you can take your medicine. I'm sorry; I wasn't gentle last night," he apologized with regret in his eyes.
He didn't continue with the work he left behind because he took care of me all night.
I tried again to open my eyes, and this time, I succeeded.
"My thighs hurt," I croaked to him.
"I know. I'll feed you," he said, sighing.
I looked at what he was looking at, and there was blood on the bedsheet. It wasn't the first time this happened between us. He was too rough with me last night.
I couldn't explain the painful sensation in my pelvic area. It felt like my legs were trembling. I felt like I wouldn't be able to walk for several days.
"I have to dress you first," he informed me and stood up to get something.
Lanvin took care of me, and I ended up sleeping the whole afternoon. He would wake me up when it was time to eat.
Damn it, my throat hurts too.
My husband takes care of me, massages me, feeds me, serves me.
It's getting late, and he's busy with his laptop. He didn't leave me, but he's occupied with his work. Wherever we are, he's working - sometimes I get jealous.
I sniffed because I can't sleep due to feeling unwell. I'm so bored and I want to see Finland. I'm feeling both cold and hot; I can't understand what I'm feeling anymore.
He sensed that I'm crying, so he looked at me. His furrowed brow turned into concern.
"Wife, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly as he approached me.
He came closer and checked my temperature using his palm.
"Do you feel sore?" he asked gently.
"You're being distant," I said, tears streaming down my face.
Why does he have to do his work from afar? He could do it beside me. When he wants to, he does his work beside me.
"You have changed. Before, you used to do your work beside me. Do you have another woman? Just tell me," I said while crying.
I can't even walk properly because of him, and he still managed to cheat.
"I don't have another woman. I was working," he said repeatedly.
"Did you have a bad dream?"
How can I have bad dreams when I can't even sleep?
"I don't want to disturb your sleep, and I want you to rest," he said while caressing my hair.
"Stop crying," he added and wiped my tears.
"You don't love me. You don't comfort me anymore. You're tired of me. You used my body," I accused him.
He looks frustrated and angry.
"What! I love you," he countered.
"No! You never love me! You're just using me. You're pretending to care! Once I fall for you, you'll leave me! I hate you!" I said, crying loudly.
"What the fuck!" He reacted.
"Where the hell did you get those ideas? They aren't true!" he defended himself in an angry tone. His face turned serious, and he seemed less amused with me.
I just cried even more.
"Don't touch me!" I said, moving slightly away from him.
"You're not staying by my side. You're distant, you don't love me. You should be sleeping beside me, but you're busy with your work! I'm not important to you anymore. Anytime soon, you'll dump me!"
He got even angrier with the things I said.
"What! Damn it," he cursed.
"What the hell are you saying! I love you, and I was working. I have work that I need to finish. There are a lot of people under my responsibility," he explained in an angry voice. His problem is his temper.
He tried to hold me, but I just slapped his hand away.
"Azaria, what's your problem, huh! You're throwing tantrums at me!" he said, angry and unable to control himself.
"Will you love me if I become worms?"
He was stunned and couldn't speak for a while.
"What!" He reacted, his face unable to show any expression.
I cried even more.
"What's happening to you, huh!"
He forcefully pulled me into his arms and made it difficult for me to struggle or escape. He locked me in his arms so I couldn't resist.
I had no energy left because the middle part of my body was in pain.
"I want your time, but you're not giving it to me! You've changed! You're the boss, even if you don't work, it'll be okay. You're making excuses not to talk to me. When I woke up, you weren't by my side," I cried uncontrollably to him.
"Damn it, if your body weren't hurting, I'd impregnate you right now," he said frustratedly.
"I should have just impregnated you," he murmured. I couldn't hear what he said because it was so faint.
"Stop crying, you have me. I won't work when I'm with you," he assured me while gently wiping my tears.
I buried my face in his neck as I continued to cry.
"You're acting like a pregnant woman," he remarked while still caressing my hair.
"Hug me!" I whined.
"Okay, okay. What else do you want?" he asked, embracing me.
I smelled him. He smelled good.
"Don't leave me, or else I'll hurt your women!" I said irritably and pinched his side.
"Wife, it hurts," he apologized, holding the hand I used to pinch him.
"I don't have other women! I'm contented with you. You're my one and only. I don't need anyone else. I have the best wife," he said affectionately and kissed my head.
I looked at him and cried even more. He had so much patience with me.
"Don't get mad. I really missed you. Being with you is not enough," I explained to him while he wiped away my tears.
He quickly kissed me on the lips.
"We can't make love right now. Your pussy is swollen. I want to make love to you right now. I'm just restraining myself because I know you're in pain. You being on top of me turns me on," he said in a husky voice and groaned.
I moved on top of him, and he closed his eyes tightly.
"Stay still, wife. I love you," he said and kissed me on the lips. He placed his hands on my waist to keep me from moving.
I could feel his hardness against me.
He was getting aroused quickly. His testosterone levels were high.
"Hug me tight," I said and pouted.
I leaned against his shoulder and smelled him. I was addicted to his scent.
"If I wasn't aware that you're taking pills, I'd think you're pregnant."
I didn't respond because I wanted to feel his warmth.
I wanted him to touch me, but I knew he wouldn't hold back once he started.
"Wife, do you want to sit on the bed instead?" he asked cautiously, and I could also sense his heavy breathing.
I just shook my head and tightened my grip around him.
He groaned.
"Okay, whatever makes you comfortable," he said in a husky, sexy, and low voice.
"Caress my hair!" I demanded childishly. He followed my command.
A minute later, I cried even harder. Lanvin was taken aback and seemed flustered.
We were so quiet, and then suddenly, I started wailing – he was genuinely surprised.
"Fuck! Wife, what's wrong!?" He asked, extremely concerned.
I was crying loudly while facing him.
"Tell me!"
I just shook my head.
"I'm fucking worried! Tell me what's hurting!" He said in a frantic manner.
He didn't know whether to wipe my tears or calm me down.
"Damn it, Azaria, tell me. You've been hiding things from me. I'm your husband. What's the point of being your husband if you won't tell me anything!" He said angrily, with his jaw clenched.
"Why are you getting mad?" I asked in the midst of my tears.
"I just want to cry," I replied to him. He ran his hand over his face.
"Azaria, I don't have much patience. Tell me what's bothering you or we won't be okay. I won't talk to you until you tell me the truth," he threatened, with a stern look on his face.
"I want to cry. I don't know why I'm crying. I'm so frustrated because my tears won't stop coming. I don't understand myself. Am I going crazy because of the pills?"
My tears wouldn't stop flowing.
"Stop taking the pills," he said firmly.
"I'm crying for no reason," I sobbed to him.
He closed his eyes and opened them immediately. He seemed to calm down.
"It's okay, wife. I'm here. I love you," he whispered to me.
He calmed down, and now he's the one calming me down, although he doesn't seem happy.
"It's okay. I'm here," he repeated.
He kept wiping my tears and caressing my hair.
"I won't leave you," he said sincerely.
"Cry. I'm here."
He hugged me tightly, causing my face to bury into his chest.
"My wife is such a baby. It's okay, wife. I won't get tired of wiping your tears," he said gently and affectionately.
I continued crying.
"I just cry more because I can't stop crying," I confided in him.
"Shhh."
He treats me like I'm his baby.
"Sleep. I'll take care of you. I won't leave your side."
"You're just asking me to sleep so you can work," I accused him.
He smiled slightly, but it quickly disappeared.
"I'm not," he always replied. His serious expression returned.
He gently rocked me like a baby.
I closed my eyes, but the overwhelming urge to cry was still there.
Am I going crazy?
I feel safe and at peace in his arms. His hugs give me comfort, and his kisses transport me to another world. Lanvin's words give me assurance. His embrace brings me sanity. With him by my side, I have my sanity. His protection is my sanctuary. His affection provides me security. His patience makes me fall in love with him even more. And he gave me his last name.