Chapter 19: Chapter 19

I can't remember the last time I felt your touch, those I love yous that will come out of your mouth, your tender love and care, you being the best gift in the world. I didn't know that you'd have to leave soon, and if I knew I'd be the greatest daughter you'd ever have. "

"I still remember how we fought because you didn't buy the doll house I'm building, saying that I already have enough at home." I chuckled softly.

"If I only knew that was the last time you would preach to me, I would've never walked out. Mom, I'm sorry because I just visited you. Everything was going at full speed ahead." I smiled.

"Dad and I were not on good terms, and I hope you know, I wish the message I sent you through my prayers could be heard. Are you okay up there, Mom?" I said, and I looked at the sky.

"I'm okay down here, still fighting to live." I said to her, "I can't stay here any longer. Didn't I tell you I'm hiding now?" I said as I read the letter I had prepared to read to her.

"I miss you so much, mom. I wish you were here. " Then tears came rolling down my face, and as I whipped them off, I smiled, "Love Violet."

I'm still a little nervous even though I'm in front of her grave, but before I could even get close to her earlier, I saw that there was a basket with withered flowers there, and I was hoping it was from Dad, but instead of that, I just thought that maybe it came from a relative or Mom's close friend.

I was sitting on the grass, not caring if it was wet enough to stain my jeans in front of my Mom's grave, and I wasn't planning on staying. I was just waiting for half the candle to burn down while I was digging, digging some space for my letter to go in.

If I knew that this talking to mom situation would relieve something inside me, I should've done it before. I haven't introduced Steve to her yet because it's not safe and I'm not ready yet. Until now, I've been thinking of introducing Steve to any of my parents when I'm not ashamed anymore. I think they think of Steve as a fault, maybe because of the trauma. So I’ll just go here with someone I want to introduce to Mom when I’m ready.

"You're doing that as well? Talking to someone that wasn't in this world? " said the one behind me, and I stood up because I was so shocked.

And as I saw who it was, I was surprised that it was the old woman at the super grocery for whom I had paid for water.

"Ma'am, what are you doing here?" I asked, but it was obvious why she was here.

"Is it okay if I sit next to you too?" She asked me, and I was just looking at her when I realized what she meant.

"It's okay, but it might stain your lovely dress." I told her and she just sat where I was sitting and I did the same, but suddenly the sun got hot, especially when it hit the skin.

"Excuse me, ma'am, can I borrow your umbrella?" I said to her, and I stood up to pick up and move to where the sun was focused, and then I opened it so we wouldn't be hit by the rays of the sun, and I just smiled at her while sitting next to her and holding the umbrella I borrowed from her.

"What's your name?"

"Lily Ma'am, and you are?" I asked humbly, placing the umbrella on my shoulder and offering her my hand to shake, supported by the other one.

"Emelda," she said as she shook my hand.

"I was here visiting my daughter, and I didn't know that I'd bump into you." She said to me as she chuckled softly.

"You know, I sort of see my daughter in you. I kicked her out when I discovered she was pregnant by someone she didn't know. It was hard for me to think that she didn't know, but who wouldn't know if something like that happened? I didn't believe her. " She stated, staring from afar while talking, and I was just listening and confused at the same time. I didn't know where she was getting at, but I was trembling inside, and I didn't even know her, but I decided to listen.

"Then I spent some more time seeking her after an hour had passed. I tried to find her, but it was too late. They found her dead beside the road, with no clothes, and I blamed myself. " She remarked, as tears flowed from her eyes, that I was heartbroken. I don't know how I would feel about what the woman said, and I was crying as well.

I couldn't tell her what I thought, but I felt her daughter's feelings even though I hadn't met her yet, and it was such a tragedy; I wondered if my dad was still looking for me, but there was no chance, and I could see the anger in Dad's eyes, especially knowing that I came home pregnant and thinking that I was ruining his arrangement for my marriage with the son of the world's most filthy rich person.

"Pardon me, ma'am, but I'm not sure what your daughter and I have in common."

"And why are you searching for me?" I asked out of curiosity and this is the first time I'm being honest to someone I don't even know.

"Is your husband the person who told you the news that I was looking for you?" The old woman asked me

"No ma'am, he's like my brother." I told her

"Ma'am, how did you know that I have a child?" I asked, and she laughed, and I felt like I was insulted by it.

"The lady that claimed to be his nanny told me that it was your child. That's why I felt sorry for you because you looked so young and looked like my late daughter." She said, and I was just looking at her, and then she grabbed her umbrella that I was holding and got up, not having a problem with it, and some men were approaching her.

"I just want you and your child." she said, and I looked at her shocked.

"Come again?" I told her

"I want to keep you and your child as my own if you just want to and if that's fine with you." She said to me.

And I was confused about what she was saying and felt that the lady was rather creepy. I didn't mean to be harsh.

"You can tell me anytime. I'm here to help you anyway. Take care." She said and I was left dumbfounded.

She said and I looked at the place she was seated and there was a number with her name. For me, she still looked like some weird woman, adopting the person she had just met for the first time.