Chapter 36: Chapter 36

~Jade~

I stared at the messages, thinking of what to type, what to say. I couldn't even think of anything.

'I'm fine now.'

I finally replied. I started typing 'I miss you too' but I deleted it, my inner voice whispering 'Jade, don't you think that is cheesy?'

Uthman: oh that's good to hear. Was it Malaria?

Me: not really.

I lingered for a while, wondering if I should tell him, I don't know why but it kinda feel safe now, talking to Uthman. Does that come with love?

Me: not really, there are some stuffs going on at home and it's kind of taking a toll on me.'

He replied almost immediately.

'oh, I hope you are fine now?'

'yeah'

'Are you coming to school tomorrow?'

'Yeap'

If I was not planning on going before, I decided the minute I saw your message.

'Alright. See you tomorrow'

I stared at the message, thinking to myself 'I can't wait to see you.'

I went to sleep with a smile on face, woke up with a smile on my face, had my bathe with a smile, dressed up with a smile, I smiled all through breakfast with mom, Saheed and Hana looking at me as if I was going mad, I know what they must be thinking, they must be thinking that I'm going nut because of Zee. Well, I keep repressing Zee's memories, I'll just pretend that she is in school.

'Did you win a lottery in your dream?'

Hana finally asked when we were on our way to school.

'yeap' I replied, still smiling.

She frowned at me and grabbed my hand.

'Are you sure you're okay?'

'Of course, don't worry about me. I'm totally fine'

She was still holding my hands when we got  to school. I did not feel the need to shrug her hands off. I was increasingly becoming a fan of holding hands these days though it's definitely not Hana's hands.

'Hey babe, I really missed you'

Akin said as soon as he saw me, pulling me into a hug. I threw my hands around his neck.

'Hey, I don't think I missed you that much.'

'Ehn ehn. It has come to this' He replied pulling back. I smiled.

'Come on, you know that's a joke'

He folded his hands on his chest, staring at me intently.

'You okay?'

I nodded.

'Are you sure?'

'Oh come on Jade, it's me and Hana, you don't have to pretend with us. We know you are not really fine. Stop acting all tough.'

I frowned.

'You guys don't know anything, stop acting like you do'

I said, sidestepped them and walked into our class. Uthman was sitting in front of Michelle. He said something to her and she giggled like an idiot. What was I even saying? She is an idiot. I say down and slammed my back on the desk causing my classmates to look at my direction. I heard someone mutter

'The bitch missed school for a day and now, she's back with an eruption like that of a volcano.'

I said nothing as I focused my attention on breathing. Why did I even come to school in the first place?

Because you missed him, my subconscious whispered. But now, he's talking to your least favorite person in school and he is ignoring you.

I stood up and left the classroom angrily. I bumped into Hana and Akin by the door.

'Jadeshola'

Akin called but I ignored him, them. He never call me Jadeshola except in serious situations. I just needed to be alone right now. The memories I keep repressing were resurfacing. Not now please. I heard the sound of bell, signaling assembly. I went to an empty classroom to gather my thoughts. I won't be the girl who got reduced to rumbles just because her sister left home.

When they finished the morning devotion, I  stood up and left for the classroom. I bumped into Hana and Akin by the stairs.

'Oh Jade, where were you? And you were the one insisted we should come to school today.'

I smiled. 'I needed some time alone and I'm better now and I'm sorry I snapped at you guys earlier, I was having a moment.'

'Eeeehhh, Jade, you're apologizing? Wow. What happened to my friend?'

I rolled my eyes.

'Should I take it back?'

He smiled. 'Now, this is more like the Jade I know.'

'Two of your front bottons are gone, did you eat them?'

I glanced down to see the two buttons gone indeed, my pink underwear has been in the open all these while. Thank God I had not walked into the classroom. Akin was putting on a cardigan.

'Akin, could you please borrow me your cardigan?'

He smiled as he took the cardigan off.

'Anything for you'

'You are really suspicious. Why are you smiling?'

He shrugged and I ignored him as we  climbed up the stairs and entered our classroom. Our Economics teacher was already in class.

'Why are you guys coming late to class? Ehn? Is this the time you are supposed to come to class?'

'We're sorry sir.'

'Sorry for yourself' He replied and we sat down.

I felt eyes on me and I looked up to see Uthman looking at me, when our eyes met, he smiled and I ignored him. He has no right to smile at me like that and my heart especially has no right to flutter because he smiled at me. I tried to concentrate on class but I couldn't, I kept thinking about him and his smile. God! I'm really hopeless. Am I even supposed to feel this way? I mean is it normal for a girl of my age to feel this way. God! I wished Zee was here so I would ask her questions.

No no, don't go there. I'm definitely not thinking about Zee.

During lunch period, after we finished ordering our food, we turned to go and sit down, they were lots of empty chairs and tables around but Hana and Akin proceeded to sit where Uthman, Michelle and Dan sat. I rolled my eyes as I followed them. I noticed how carefully and quickly Hana and Akin scrambled to sit down so that the only empty seat was the one directly in front of Uthman. I sat down just as Michelle dragged a long hiss.

'There are lots of empty chairs, makes me wonder why you guys are always pinning to sit with us.'

'It's a free world, you can always stand up for us, pretty sure no one here is going to follow you.'

Akin replied her and she glared at him. I smiled at my food.

'Are you fine now?'

I looked up at Uthman's voice, he was staring at me. Thank God there was no food in my mouth at that moment, if not, I might have swallowed wrongly or probably balked.

Hana pinched me underneath the table. I was about to answer when Michelle spoke up.

'Why are you asking her if she is fine, who cares whether she is fine or not?'

'Apparently, he must be asking because he cares.'

That was Akin and I noticed Uthman glared at him. He shrugged and continued eating. Michelle scowled as she sipped her drink.

'You must be delusional. Why would Uthman care about her?'

She said the 'her' with a sound of disgust and annoyance and I was surprised when I said nothing in reply to her words. Infact, I kept surprising myself by my level of self restraint towards Michelle these days.

I smiled. 'I'm better now, thank you'

I heard Michelle scowl and mutter underneath her breath 'What the fuck is wrong with this bitch?' but I ignored her as I continued to eat.

*********

~Uthman~

I kept glancing at the door, expecting Jade to enter anytime soon. Michelle was saying something when I saw Jade through the window. Michelle laughed as soon as Jade entered the classroom. I did not even remember saying anything that could have made her laugh. It was obvious that Jade was angry by the way she slammed her bag on her desk. Someone said something mean behind her and I expected her to slam the person like always but she surprised me by actually ignoring the person. I was about to excuse myself from Michelle and go to her when she stood up angrily and left the classroom. I watched the exchange between her and Akin&Hana by the door.

'So, what do you think?'

Hmm, I turned to Michelle, obviously lost. I had lost the train of our conversation. Was I even listening to her in the first place?

My brows furrowed in confusion as I looked at her.

'What were you saying?'

She rolled her eyes and touched my hands.

'Uthman, what's wrong with you these days? You've not been paying attention to me. Did I offend you?'

'No no, of course not' I replied, all the while trying to remove my hand from hers.

'I'm just busy with the upcoming ECOWAS oratory contest, that's all.'

Her eyes grew with excitement and she grabbed my hands fully.

'Oh, that's true. That's next week by the way. Wow, you have to win it oo. I can't wait for you to win it. I'll trample all over Jade.'

I stared at her and for a moment, I wondered how and why we became friends in the first place.

Oh, she stole Jade's keypoint in exchange for you staying by her side and you accepted.

And that's how you won The Mandela foundation competition.

I had even completely forgotten that the competition is just a week to go. I've been so occupied with other thoughts that this, which is supposed to matter most to me had somehow become the least.

During the morning devotion, I looked around for Jade. I asked of her from Akin after the assembly and he just shrugged and said.

'She is just having one of her moments, she will be.'

Our Economics teacher entered the class immediately after assembly and wrote the topic for revision on the board. It was International Trade, one of the topics that fancinate me but then Jade was still not in class and I found myself glancing at her seat from time to time until she entered with Akin and Hana, that was when I heaved a sigh of relief. And then she was putting on cardigan even though it wasn't particularly cold and the cardigan looks kinda familiar again. I found myself glancing at her during the lecture, when she looked up and our

eyes met, I smiled because I couldn't help it. I expected her to at least smile back but she did not

Does this come with one of her moments too?

I just wished the day will fast forward to the time for our tutorial together.

*********

'So, Uthman, How well prepared are you for the contest? You have less than 10 days to go. Today is Wednesday and the competition is next Thursday, right?'

'Yes.' I answered. I'm not sure of how prepared I am. I don't even know if I'm prepared at all. I glanced at Jade, she was scribbling something in her note. Only God knows what she is always writing.

'What about you, Jadeshola? How well prepared are you?'

She looked up, almost startled.

'I don't know if I'm any well prepared. I'm not the one representing the school. That's Uthman and I don't see see any arm happening to him before then so....'

I hope I imagined the sarcasm in the last part but knowing Jade and how she is, I know what she is implying and that even brought a smile to my face. God! I'm really hopeless.

Miss Bolarinwa said something else I did not hear, something about me gearing up and making Lakeview proud next Thursday. After she left, none of us made a move to stand up. We were in this kind of comfortable silence before Jade spoke up.

'Thank you for checking up on me yesterday.'

I turned to look at her, she was still wearing a cardigan. And because we were sitting up close, I saw the UTHMAN carefully writing in very tiny letters around the collar. That's my cardigan. She straightened up when she saw me staring at the collar of cardigan which might give the opinion that I was staring at her chest. My gaze dropped from the collar  and I glanced away, swallowing hard.

'What were you staring at?'

She asked and I turned back to look at her. She had her arm crossed over her chest now.

'That's my cardigan you are putting on, do you know that?'

'Nah, it's Akin's.'

'Well, it's mine.'

I grabbed her left hand so I would show her my name written on the wrist. She flinched when I touched her.

'See, that's my name.'

'Wow, Akin is a bastard. He could have just told me.'

I laughed. 'Is the idea of wearing my cardigan that ludicrous?'

She rolled her eyes. 'Who knows the last time you washed it?' she said and proceeded to sniff it. 'I don't understand this scent from it. Are you sure it's is clean?'

I laughed because she was talking with this kind of mock seriousness that was really funny.

I stopped laughing because she was looking at me strangely, her lips pursued in a really cute way. I glanced at them before I met her eyes again.

'Why are putting on a cardigan anyways? It's already hot.'

'I lost two front bottons and my underwe......'

She trailed off, probably just realizing what she was saying. I nodded slowly and kept staring at the front. Block the thoughts Uthman, don't allow them to even surfice. Don't think about what she was saying. Don't even allow it to add up. Don't you dare imagine what the colour of her underwear was. Don't think about anything oh Damn!  I couldn't even control the train of my thoughts.

'Did you really miss me yesterday?'

'Hmm?' I turned to look at her.

'You said you missed me yesterday, was that true?'

I swallowed harder. Trust Jade to say whatever it is she wants to say without much ado. She's so unlike me. I glanced down at our hands, when I showed her the name written on the wrist of my cardigan earlier, our hands were still lying beside each other. I was still staring at her when I grabbed her hands again, intertwining them. I watched her looked down at our intertwined hands before looking at me again, her expression puzzled with a kind of excitement I couldn't decipher.

'Does this ......?'

I trailed off when someone opened the door and entered the office. We disentangled our hands. It was Michelle.

'Hey boo, I've been looking for you. Are you done here?'

Jade exhaled a breath, packed her book, stood up and left without a backward glance. Michelle has finally did it. Why on earth was she looking for me?

'Yeah'

I replied her.

**********

'What's going on between you and Jade?'

Dan asked. It was closing time and we were both waiting for our drivers. After Jade left earlier, I had not had time to talk to her again.

'What do you mean?'

'You know what I mean'

He replied me, his tone very serious. This was so unlike Daniel. I leaned on the fence.

'I like her.'

'Of course you don't.'

'I do.'

'No'

'Yes'

'Come on, Uthman. You can't like her'

'Why not?'

'This is Jade we are talking about. JADESHOLA BADMUS. You guys spent 5 years hating each other and now, you're telling me you like her? Oh come on.'

'We never hated each other. We never gree on any matter but that shouldn't count as hate.'

Daniel said nothing, staring at me as if I had grown two heads.

'And besides, why are you this worked up? Me liking her doesn't in any way affect you.'

He scowled.

'Come on Uthman. You're really serious? This is not some kind of a silly joke?'

I just kept staring at him, wondering why he was getting all worked up like this.

'And how do you intend on telling Michelle? Are you just going to say, hey Michelle, I like Jade or what?'

'I'll cross that when it get to that.'

'And when is that? It is pretty obvious to everybody that you guys have something going on. It's only a matter of time before she finds out.'

Just then, our drivers drove in like they were coming together.

'Seriously, why Jade? How did it even started? Jade of all girls? That's the last person I'd ever thought you would like.'

'How did you even know?'

'The signs has been there for a while but I ignored them, telling myself that I was just overthinking things. I confirmed it today though. You were staring at her all through lunch.'

'That obvious?'

He hissed.

'I'm not a fan of Michelle but she sacrificed a lot for you. She deserves better. Why do you have to ruin it by liking Jade?'

He did not wait for a reply as he entered the car and the driver drove off. I heaved a sigh and entered mine too.

My sister was reading on my bed when I got home.

'Why is it that I'm finding you in my room these days?'

I asked her when I got to the room. She dragged a fake hiss.

'Is that E ku Ile? And I want to tap from your brain by reading in positions where you read.'

I burst into laughter as watched her stood up from the bed. Only God knows what this sister of mine is made up of.

'Mom said Dad will be home for dinner today so.......'

She did not complete the sentence before she left the sitting room. I knew what it means though. After changing from my school uniform. I laid on the bed thinking about what Dan had said. I never thought about Michelle and her feelings. How would she feel if I should tell her? It's not even if, it's when because if there's one thing I was sure of at the moment, it's that I can't keep my feelings to myself for too long.

The honk of dad's car brought me out of my reverie. I groaned as I stood up to join the family dinner that will start any time soon. What family dinner?

Dinner with dad was always overly long and boring. It is always like it is taking a minute for a second. Mom sat down rigidly throughout the dinner. I don't even know how the two of them cohabit together. I never see them talk or interact.

'We're moving houses next week. I found a perfect house for us.'

He dropped the bombshell halfway through dinner. My hands froze in mid air when I heard it. What? Mom said nothing, still chewing her food.

Moving houses ke? What about me and Moji, what about our friends? Field? My football club? No way.

'Dad, this is a family. You don't get to make decisions like this without asking us first.'

He glanced at me briefly before turning back to his food. I glanced at Moji, she was sitting down rigidly and mom was still eating. Wow.

'Mom, are you not going to say anything?'

When she finally spoke up, it was something I had always imagined but still, least expected.

'I'm filing for a divorce'